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Hair-Raising Hare

“Did you ever get the feeling you was being watched?”

You can probably tell from the title, that Gossamer is in this one. He is, and it’s his first appearance.

Bugs is being watched by a Peter Lorre scientist who is trying to lure him into his lair to be the monsters dinner. He succeeds with a female rabbit decoy. “You don’t need to lock that door mac, I don’t want to leave” Bugs coyly remarks. Upon realizing he has been had, he tries to bid a hasty retreat, but Gossy won’t let him go that easily and what happens is a romp around the castle.

Gossamer is a particularly nasty foe and Bugs has to dispose of him not one, but three times. Its a great short in a place where lamps dance, rabbits become manicurists, monsters are scared of people, and where the pictures watch your every move.

Personal Rating: 4

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Fast and Furry-ous

“Beep-beep!”

Chuck Jones said that every Roadrunner cartoon would consist of 11 gags that would lead to a big finish. Since every one has the same plot, I will detail them in uh… detail. Starting with the first one ever, this one. So (Spoilers ahead) if you don’t want to know how it ends, don’t read.

We start with a bunch of signs telling us the title of the short. Something zooms by ripping them out of the ground. We freeze-frame to see its a roadrunner (Acelerati incredibulis). Panning over, we see he is being watched by a predator, a coyote (Carnivorus vulgaris). He grabs some utensils and gives chase. The bird sees him and gives a burst of speed leaving the canine in the dust. Shocked at the speed, he decides to use strategy.

First he holds up a pot lid. The r.r. stops short and seeing the c., he runs off. C. throws the lid down in frustration and begins to chase, but at the last second the r.r. returns and holds the lid up. C. crashes into it. Next he throws a boomerang and immediately gets hit by one thrown by the r.r. It runs off and c begins to chase, only to get hit with the one he originally threw. A school girl disguise doesn’t fool the bird and his rocket just fires him up into a cliff. Pulling a key stone out from under a rock just causes it to fall on him and a fake tunnel keeps turning real and fake again.

He tries a detonator that just explodes in his face and tries his first Acme product (a super suit) which was probably for fun only. He tries an easy to ski snow trail, but it just causes him to fall off a cliff. Next, trying rocket shoes, he nearly catches his prey, but they short out just as he is about to reach it. He decides to take the shortcut. Hiding behind a rock he hears a ‘beep’ sound and jumps into the road and is immediately hit by a bus. However he did hear the bird…it was riding in the back seat.

Personal Rating: 4

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Wile Coyote and the Road Runner

It bothers me that I seem to be the only person who knew the roadrunner was a real bird before I ever saw any of these cartoons. I’d tell you about it because I am an animal expert, but this is a Looney Tunes blog, remember?

The Roadrunner is probably the most innocent of all the Looney Tunes. The most he ever tends to do is scare the coyote by “beep-beeping” behind him. (At least when they’re being directed by Mr. Jones.) Speaking of the coyote, I’m sure everyone has felt like him at least once. You are so sure of yourself, all self inflated and all that, and then your plan blows up in your face. But to truly be the coyote, you have to keep trying until you succeed, no matter how embarrassed you are by your failure.

These two had great cartoons! No story necessary since its always the same, Wile E trying to catch the bird. All together now: BEEP-BEEP!

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Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and here he is, still been sleeping in my bed.”

Once upon a time there were 3 bears and… whoa deja-vu. I swear I said this stuff before. Better stop just to be on the safe side.

We find our ursine family being hungry when Henry gets an idea. They’ll lure Goldilocks home so they can fest on her flesh. (Well, they ARE bears.) But from the moment that Ma says they have no porridge and only carrots with which to make carrot soup, the title makes perfect sense. Bugs proceeds to carry out the story but can’t fool Ma who is ready to clobber him. He romances her and she falls for him, and now he can’t get rid of her. He also has to worry about Henry and Jr. who are still intent on having rabbit for dinner. Warner bros. did good work spoofing fairy tales. This, of course, is one of their better ones. The humor even continues after the iris out. (Briefly)

Personal Rating: 4

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The Three Bears

Once upon a time, there were 3 bears. The dad was twice as small as his child and was a real dick. He bullied his kid and ignored his wife. The mom never got excited and seemed to envy the dead. The young 7 and a half year old, who still wore diapers, loved his family because he was a nimrod.

What? That’s not how the story goes? Well excuse me! These bruins are the characters Chuck Jones created. Like a lot of stars from these cartoons, they did not appear often but their legacy lives on. They are most definitely the funniest family. Even Matt Groening said that he thinks so. (In case you don’t know, he created “The Simpsons” You might have heard of that.)

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Elmer’s Candid Camera

“Shucks. I don’t even know the guy.”

This is our boy Elmer’s first cartoon! I mean he has his dang name! Even the rabbit in this short was just Proto-Bugs. (He has a deeper voice and a laugh like Woody Woodpecker. That’s not Bugs.) Now for the plot.

Elmer has just read a book about photographing wildlife and decides it sounds like a good hobby. As to be expected. his subject is a rabbit that most definitely does not want to be photographed. For the rest of the short he drives Elmer insane. Good stuff. Unlike Bugs, this rabbit eats apples. My favorite part is after annoying him, he gets Elmer to growl like a dog. Its the simple stuff that makes this short great.

Personal Rating: 3

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Duck Dodgers in the 24th 1/2 Century

“Can you do it, Dodgers?”

This is probably the longest title for a Looney Tune made in the golden age. (Its sequel is longer.) And don’t worry. If you forget what you are watching, the short keeps reminding us. I’m sure everyone has seen this one. I mean, George Lucas showed it in certain theaters when “Star Wars” came out, and a clip appears in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

The plot is that in the 24th and a half century, the shaving cream atom (aludium fozdex) is alarmingly low. The only remaining source is on Planet X and Daffy and Marvin are both trying to claim it for their planets. For once, Daffy actually wins this battle but as Porky says, it’s not really a big deal. The fighting has only left a football sized planet left. Also interesting is the fact that this is the only short where Marvin did not appear with Bugs. (He really should have appeared more.)

Personal Rating: 5

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Marvin the Martian

You know, I think this is the first cartoon alien to ever be created. Only appearing in five shorts, he is very popular, and today he is considered a major Looney Tune. I like him because he reminds me of me. I am very quiet and don’t look like much of a threat, but when pushed too far, I can be terrifying. Another interesting note is that he is based on the roman god, Mars. (He wears the clothes that Mars wore) Although he may just be a cartoon, if martians exist, I’m sure they look like him.

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Rabbit Fire

“Sthurvival of the fittest. And besides its fun!”

This is the short that I believe most everyone thinks of when they think of “Looney Tunes.” It defines classic. Most memorable is definitely the duck season/rabbit season line. That will be remembered until time itself stops. As for the plot, it is basically the same as “Rabbit Seasoning” (even though this one came first) It also marks the first time time Bugs and Daffy starred in the same short. (Their first time on screen together was in “Porky Pig’s Feat” but that was just a cameo by Bugs)

As a kid, this was one of the first one I ever saw and to this day I can still remember the joy of seeing it whenever it came on. (You know, back when Cartoon Network was cool, and this stuff was pretty much on every day?)

Personal Rating: 5

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Golden Yeggs

“Oh, my aching back!”

A commotion is going on at Porky’s farm. It turns out to be a golden egg. The goose responsible has read the original story, and says that Daffy is the one who did it. Daffy goes along with the charade and he comes to the attention of Rocky and his gang who want the money the duck produces. They “talk” Porky into giving him away and the rest is gags as Daffy tries to get away with it without dying. It’s a great short that deserves to be a full-length motion picture. I hope you are enjoying this place as much as I am. Woo hoo hoo hoo!

Personal Rating: 3