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The Hypo-Chondri-Cat

“Have you ever operated on a sick cat before, doctor?”

Its a rainy night and Hubie and Bertie have just settled in to their new home, eating cheese by the fire. They run into Claude and a chase ensures. It looks like they are trapped, but an open window sends Claude running to his bed to make sure he did not catch a cold. The mice now know his weakness and decide to torment him. He changes color at their suggestion and is soon begging them for their help.

They get ready for a operation and Claude faints. He has a way, disturbing fever dream (can you say, “extremely creepy?”) and wakes to find the mice crying at what appears to be his grave. He tries to tell them he is alive, but they walk right by. The clock strikes 12 and Hubie recalls that at midnight, ghosts appear. They “now” see Claude and he begs them for their help again. They push him off a cliff and he begins to fly towards cat heaven (Thanks to a balloon) Now filled with an inner peace, he bids the mice farewell. I wonder what happens when he finds out it’s not real?

Personal Rating: 4

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Hubie and Bertie

Real mice are not that smart. I say that with kindness, but its true. These two change that unfair stereotype…mostly. Hubie is quite smart. As for his friend…well, I would not say he’s dumb just…slow. If you tell him what to do, he can do it. That’s a good thing because I enjoy seeing them drive cats insane.

This also might just be the start of cartoons where cats wouldn’t just get beat up by mice, but would get outsmarted by them. (Don’t quote me on that.) In case you ever have trouble telling them apart, just remember Blanc voiced Hubie and Freberg voiced Bertie. (That, and Bertie has huge buck teeth.)

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Frigid Hare

“Jumping ice cubes! Its freezing!”

Out of the two shorts that Playboy Penguin appeared in, this is my favorite. Bugs is on his way for a vacation and makes a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ends up at the south pole. There he saves a penguin from an… Eskimo? (Never mind. I’m not going to mention he’s in the wrong hemisphere.) Now the little bird is smitten with him and we see the cutest scene ever! (I want to hold him) Bugs throws him away, and sees him get nabbed by the Inuit. Realizing he must do the right thing he disguises himself as a woman again, and manages to rescue the penguin.

Upon the guy’s realization that his dreamboat is a rabbit, the chase begins. They end up dangling over a cliff where Playboy returns the favor and saves bugs. (The Eskimo is carried off by a whale that has a vertical tail. WRONG!) Bugs wants nothing more to do with the bird and just wants to get to his vacation spot. Until he learns that the days down there are 6 months long! We wont see bugs again until 1951. (Not literally.)

Personal Rating: 3

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For Scent-imental Reasons

“Touching, is it not?”

This may not be the first Pepe cartoon but it is Penelope’s, and it won an Oscar. (the only Looney Tune that won an Oscar and was not directed by Friz Freleng) We see a man going to open his perfume shop for the day. Only to find Le Pew in there already. The shop owner is a coward and won’t even try to get him out. So he has to go whine to some guard like character, but even he wants nothing to do with it. So the shop owner throws in a cat that is purring by his legs. (What a dick.)

Upon being launched in, a bottle of white dye gets poured on her back, and cartoon history is born. The skunk mistakes her for one of his species and a chase ensures. One gag is that she is locked in a glass room and they both pantomime talking. (The only time I recall her ever communicating) In the end, they both fall out a window and land in different substances. Pepe in paint that apparently masks his scent, because now Penelope is chasing him! We iris out on Pepe wondering if he is too attractive.

Personal Rating: 4

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Pepe le Pew and Penelope Pussycat

This is such an original idea! This skunk first named Henry, then Stinky finally got his name in his third (and Oscar winning) cartoon. His third one coincidentally had the first appearance of a female cat who would get a white stripe down her back, and have her mistaken for a skunk. This would be popular and they would go on to many other starring shorts. Penelope can not talk apparently, or perhaps Pepe’s odor has melted her tongue away. I would not be surprised.

I unfortunately have not seen many of their cartoons, but the ones i have seen are pure genius. Besides Penelope (or Fabrette as she was once called) Pepe has also chased a male cat, a female chihuahua, and Sylvester. Penelope pretty much always stayed with Pepe. Except for her grand talking appearance in “Carrotblanca.”

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Haredevil Hare

“I’m alone on the moon!”

In the cartoon that was the first appearance of our favorite martian, we find Bugs being forced to be the first rabbit to be sent into space. He is reluctant at first until he sees all the carrots being loaded into the ship. Once on the moon he encounters Marvin (who has a way different voice) preparing to blow up the earth. Bugs takes the infamous illudium pu 36 explosive space modulator and Marvin’s reserves (or his dog K-9) is sent to retrieve it. Bugs and the dog end up in a comedic embrace and Bugs makes his getaway. He then returns the explosive to the martians attached to a detonator. Bugs lowers the plunger and finally the scientists get through to him and ask for a statement for the press. Bugs response is “GET ME OUT OF HERE!” All that’s left of the moon is a sliver and Bugs… with the two martians hanging on to him for dear life.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Awful Orphan

“Looking for something, bub?”

Every time Charlie appeared with Porky, orphan was in the title. Just FYI.

We start out with a crowd of people who are watching Charlie give a demonstration of something every home needs…himself. Needless to say, no one is amused and Charlie is forced to hitch a ride in a pet shop delivery car. He crawls into a cage that is supposed to contain a canary and is delivered to Porky. The rest is just Porky trying to get rid of him and Charlie coming back.

He tries reasoning, he tries bribery, he even tries locking Porky out of his apartment. In the end, Porky gives in but now Charlie does not want to live there. This makes Porky go insane and we end with a shot of Charlie being forced to be the master of a snarling Porky.

Personal Rating: 4

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Charlie Dog

I’m sure that if dogs could talk, they would rant and rave about their owners. And if they had none, they would try to make you want them. That is where my favorite cartoon dog comes in.

Charlie just wants a home, so you can feel for him. But the way he pesters his could-be owners? You can see why he has no place to call home. His most frequent sap is Porky, (who appeared in 3 of his 5 shorts) but he also tried to live with Colonel Shuffle. (The same adversary Bugs faced in “Mississippi Hare.”) Charlie is a great character and he really should have appeared more. He makes me both laugh, and sigh.

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Hair-Raising Hare

“Did you ever get the feeling you was being watched?”

You can probably tell from the title, that Gossamer is in this one. He is, and it’s his first appearance.

Bugs is being watched by a Peter Lorre scientist who is trying to lure him into his lair to be the monsters dinner. He succeeds with a female rabbit decoy. “You don’t need to lock that door mac, I don’t want to leave” Bugs coyly remarks. Upon realizing he has been had, he tries to bid a hasty retreat, but Gossy won’t let him go that easily and what happens is a romp around the castle.

Gossamer is a particularly nasty foe and Bugs has to dispose of him not one, but three times. Its a great short in a place where lamps dance, rabbits become manicurists, monsters are scared of people, and where the pictures watch your every move.

Personal Rating: 4

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Fast and Furry-ous

“Beep-beep!”

Chuck Jones said that every Roadrunner cartoon would consist of 11 gags that would lead to a big finish. Since every one has the same plot, I will detail them in uh… detail. Starting with the first one ever, this one. So (Spoilers ahead) if you don’t want to know how it ends, don’t read.

We start with a bunch of signs telling us the title of the short. Something zooms by ripping them out of the ground. We freeze-frame to see its a roadrunner (Acelerati incredibulis). Panning over, we see he is being watched by a predator, a coyote (Carnivorus vulgaris). He grabs some utensils and gives chase. The bird sees him and gives a burst of speed leaving the canine in the dust. Shocked at the speed, he decides to use strategy.

First he holds up a pot lid. The r.r. stops short and seeing the c., he runs off. C. throws the lid down in frustration and begins to chase, but at the last second the r.r. returns and holds the lid up. C. crashes into it. Next he throws a boomerang and immediately gets hit by one thrown by the r.r. It runs off and c begins to chase, only to get hit with the one he originally threw. A school girl disguise doesn’t fool the bird and his rocket just fires him up into a cliff. Pulling a key stone out from under a rock just causes it to fall on him and a fake tunnel keeps turning real and fake again.

He tries a detonator that just explodes in his face and tries his first Acme product (a super suit) which was probably for fun only. He tries an easy to ski snow trail, but it just causes him to fall off a cliff. Next, trying rocket shoes, he nearly catches his prey, but they short out just as he is about to reach it. He decides to take the shortcut. Hiding behind a rock he hears a ‘beep’ sound and jumps into the road and is immediately hit by a bus. However he did hear the bird…it was riding in the back seat.

Personal Rating: 4