Gee Whiz-z-z

“Egad!!”

While Wile E is chasing his prey, the bird makes a sharp turn just to confuse the canine. (Remember this trick.) The coyote shoots a gun, but the bird actually outruns the bullet. He holds up a steel plate but the bird runs through it. (I think he took the coyote’s body too.) Wile E tries a bat man’s (not Batman) outfit and surprisingly, it works. If he had only looked where he was going…

He makes use of his artistic side and paints a “bridge out” scene. The tunnel gag goes in reverse now, with the bird running through it and the coyote running off it. As a last resort, Wile E rides a jet engine and nearly catches his prize. It pulls the same sharp turn trick though and the coyote falls off a cliff. As he falls he asks that the cartoon end before we see his impact I suppose that’s fair.

Personal Rating: 3

Guided Muscle

Acme Grease

Ahh, lunchtime. Today the coyote is stewing up a delicious can. Too bad he can’t bring himself to actually eat it. Especially when there is better game to hunt. Turning himself into an arrow works until he launches himself into a cactus and off a cliff. He sets up a slingshot attached to a red fuzzy cactus (?) but it does not launch until he does not want it to. He tries firing a cannon, but it shoots him back into a cliff wall before shooting himself in the head.

A wrecking ball just makes the tree it’s attached to fall on him, and when he greases the road, the Roadrunner just mocks him by skating. He thinks tarring and feathering would work, but did you know roadrunners are already feathered? Finally, he buries some dynamite but the bird causes him to run over it just as it detonates. Frustrated, he quits his cartoon job, and and pulls out the “That’s all, folks!” card.

Personal Rating: 3

Ready, Set, Zoom!

“Detour thru tunnel”

One morning, the coyote awakes for a fresh day of Roadrunner chasing. Today’s tricks include painting a road with glue. (Look, he’s on it, but then there’s a circle around him. Did it just evaporate?) He gets hit by a truck. He tries again with the glue and a dynamite stick, but the bird just runs through it, splashing the glue on him and the TNT. BOOM!

He successfully gets the bird into a log perched off a cliff, but the bird just jumps out through a knothole. The coyote falls. He tries to drop a weight that does not fall until he’s under it and when he tries a TNT lasso, the bird takes an alternate route, and the coyote blows up. He also makes a creative device complete with wagon and boat motor.  He goes careening off a cliff, and quickly unties himself only for the machine make it to the other side, anyway. He also puts on a female roadrunner suit, and gets chased by every coyote in the desert.

Personal Rating: 3

Stop! Look! and Hasten!

“Coyote (Eatibus Anythingus)”

365 days of this blog! One more until the first anniversary!

Food is scarce in the desert, so the coyote has to make do with flies and old cans. Then his dream lunch runs by and new ideas swarm in his head. A boulder just falls on him and a snare trap gets him a truck. A tiger trap only catches a tiger (obviously) and when he tries a steel wall that will pop out of the ground, the stupid thing gets stuck.

The chase continues onto the railroad where he gets creamed by a train, and when he decides to use a detonator, he blows himself up. (Watch the handle, it changes color.) Getting the bird to stop for some free bird seed, he tries the classic saw around prey, and whole bridge falls gag. (Good thing roadrunners can fly.)

As a last resort, he chugs down some leg vitamins and now he can catch up to the bird, but of course just as he is about to catch it, the wall from earlier pops up. The Roadrunner spells out “That’s all Folks” in his dust.

Personal Rating: 4

My Looney Tunes History

I might as well take a break about the usual stuff I talk about, and mention little ole me. I figure I have the right to do this since my one year anniversary is coming up.

This tale begins when I was around three years old. I was afraid of many things: eyes, commercials, cats, bees, heat vents; I swear I’m not making any of that up. Another thing that really creeped me out were the Looney Tunes. I had no good reason to fear them but I did. (Thinking Sylvester always ate Tweety is not a good reason.) The closest I ever came to seeing them was when I was at a friend of my mom’s house hanging out with her son. (He was a bit of a douchebag.) He wanted to watch “Space Jam” which sent me into hysterics.

Yet, curiosity got the better of me and I watched maybe the first 20 minutes. I can’t really say I enjoyed it, but it made calm down a little bit about the series as a whole. When I was 5, my family moved to a new location. (Mostly because our old house was on a street that I’m sure was a freeway.) At our new place I found new friends, a new school, and cable TV. Watching Cartoon Network, (and again I can’t stress this enough, that channel is garbage now) I realized how wonderful Looney Tunes could be.

With that said though, I still would not be into them for about another four years. Sure, they were entertaining enough to watch, but nothing I’d choose over shows like “Rugrats” “Chip ‘N Dale’s Rescue Rangers” and “The Powerpuff Girls.” Time passed and my parents decided I was too hooked on television. (Hey if CN was still GOOD, then I still would be today.) So they ditched it. Not much of a chance for me to get invested now. So, how did I become the Looney-tic I am today? I’m getting there.

Now at age nine, I was at a book sale at my elementary school. It was there. In the used section; two books. They were histories of Bugs Bunny and Tweety/Sylvester respectively. They were open, so somebody must have been looking at them before me. Probably wouldn’t have paid much attention if the picture on the page wasn’t of “Room and Bird” I’d seen that one before! What kind of book was this, anyway?

I began looking through the pictures myself. I found it quite a joy. And then? I put both books back on the shelf and moved on. Yep. Still not convinced. Or was I? Actually, I couldn’t get them out of my head. The rest of the day and night, I wondered: “Should I buy those?” It took some thinking but ultimately, my decision was this: I’d return the next day, and if the books were still there, I’d adopt them.

The next day came and lo, they were still there. A promise was a promise and I coughed up the coins. (25 cents each is underrated, but soooo worth it.) I took my new purchase home and decided reading them might also be enjoyable. (Kind of odd that it wasn’t my intent the whole time.) Those books changed me. I learned what wonderful, magical, precious entertainment these cartoons possessed. How could I not have gotten sucked in earlier?

Wouldn’t you know it, about a month later, I saw a Looney Tunes DVD set. I didn’t just want that, I needed it. I had to have it. My parents bought it for me for my birthday and, yes, finally I became the person I am now. (The Looney part at least. I love a good number of cartoons. Too many to list here.) My appetite was hardly satiated. More DVD’s would come, I’d request them every time I could and the cartoons continued to wow me. I’ve used them to teach; I’ve learned from them, and they entertained my friends too. (Wow. I used to have friends?)

That’s as far as we’ll go today. I don’t know what will happen next, but I can’t imagine who I’d be today without Bugs, Porky, Daffy and the rest. They’re role models, entertainers, heroes and buddies. Really, they mean this much to me, and more.

Zipping Along

“Yeooooow!”

We all know the Roadrunner is fast, but did you know he can outrun a speeding train? He may just be minding his own business, but there are hungry eyes watching. This time the coyote tries to throw a grenade, but only throws the pin. He tries the old classic: mousetraps, but they just end up on him. He tries to drop a bomb from a kite, but kites were not exactly designed to carry that much weight, now were they?

Since there are no cops around he can get away with chopping a telephone pole. (It falls on him.) He learns hypnotism, but the bird has a mirror and he gets himself to walk off a cliff. He tries making a booby trapped doorway but he gets hit by a car before it can be used for its intended purpose.

Personal Rating: 3

Going! Going! Gosh!

‘Road runner (acceleratti incrediblus)’

After the Roadrunner runs by, the coyote jumps from his hiding place to pounce…and misses. Time to use the old noggin! When launching a TNT arrow, only the bow gets fired. Using a large slingshot ends up with the coyote pinned against… err… some plant, and his cement just ends up covering himself.

He tries a grenade while under a manhole but the bird takes a different route and ends up pinning a rock on the manhole cover. BOOM! He dresses up as a female hitchhiker (the bird already has a date) and paints a fake road (only to have a real truck drive out of it.) After some more gags (including a genius hot air balloon) the coyote decides to jump and harpoon the bird. However he gets hit by another truck. This one driven by the bird himself.

Personal Rating: 3

Beep Beep

“Last water for 300 miles”

After the title cards, the coyote notes that his prey is just too dang fast, and he will not be able to catch it on foot. This calls for stradegy. He rigs a boxing glove up to a boulder, but when he releases it, the boulder crashes into him. (So does the glove.) He tries dropping an anvil on the bird from a tightrope but the weight drags him down. (If you’re watching “Space Jam” this is where the short would end) He is not worried because he has a parachute…or not.

He tries a clever booby trapped glass of water, which the bird ignores and a chase through the mines ensures. (This breaks one of Chuck’s rules: “The Roadrunner must stay on the road”) The coyote later tries some rocket skates but he can’t control them. Battered and bruised he tries to get a drink, only to be blown up by his device. As a last resort he makes a fake railroad but gets clobbered by a real train. Need I say who is riding in it?

Personal Rating: 4

The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties, “Looney Tunes” was on its last legs. Also during this time, Looney Tunes got its TV show. (Why not? It was the latest fad!) The premise was simple: Bugs showing us cartoons with various bridging sequences in between, such as Bugs feeding Taz carrots or Slowpoke coming to visit Speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd today since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but color TV was only starting to get started. Lack of pigment  was a small price to pay for the convenience of watching animated masterpieces in your own living room.

Now for the bad news. This show is gone and you’re not liable to find any full episodes. (At least, as I’m originally writing this.) If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky. Maybe you’d like to make the rest of the world feel as lucky as you?

Personal Rating: (From what little I’ve seen) 3

Bugs Bunny’s Looney Tunes all star 50th Anniversary

Now obviously, this was made a while ago. If it’s celebrating Looney Tunes as a whole then it should have made its debut in 1980. If it’s Bugs we’re honoring, then it should be 1990. This came out in 1986. (I suppose that’s close enough to both dates) Enough of that. Let’s begin!

This shows plenty of stars remembering the Tunes and the joy that they have brought to every person who has enjoyed life at some point. Chuck Jones tells us how everyone is like Daffy but they all want to be Bugs. (This is the greatest analogy for the human race, ever. Don’t even try to debate.) Freleng tells us how Yosemite Sam came about and Kirk Douglas tells how great Bugs and Daffy’s westerns were. Freleng also tells us about Porky’s history and why he has his ‘stutter’ (It’s actually a grunt.) Mike Nicholas asks if we remember Petunia and explains why she faded into obscurity. My favorite part is when Jeff Goldblum defends Porky. I’m sure I’ve stated this before, but Porky is my favorite. He’s hilarious, charismatic, relatable, cute and stars in most of my favorites, and don’t forget: he’s the one we always expect to see at the end.

David Bowie gives reasons why he will not work with Bugs and the great Mel Blanc explains how he created a voice for bugs to use. Steve Martin makes note that all comedy has been influenced by Bugs and Chuck Yeager points out Bugs doesn’t get hurt. Quincy Jones explains that Bugs can get girls but he doesn’t want to, and Billy Dee Williams shows some of Carl Stallings talent with sound effects. Fascinating stuff.

Personal Rating: 2 (It’s really only for those passionate Looney Tune fans)