Category: Cartoons from the 50’s

The 1950’s contain some of the most revered shorts Warner Bros. ever produced! Many of which now are considered some of animation’s greatest triumphs.

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People are Bunny

“Have a handful o’ blanks.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, Warren Batchelder, Tom Ray, and George Grandpre; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by William Butler; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on December 19, 1959.

Those born in 2010 C.E. and beyond might just never be able to understand the joy of actually watching T.V. None of this streaming crap; I’m talking about turning on the tube, flipping through the channels to find something, and either getting elated at your lucky find, or having to turn things off and read a book or play with your dog instead. As usual, we’ve sacrificed experience for ease, and while I can’t say Netflix doesn’t have a good many perks, it just isn’t the same.

But imagine how people like me must have felt in the fifties, when television was ruining the enjoyable trips to the motion pictures that used to be an occasional treat on par with visiting amusement parks and zoos. All of this tirade, just so I can point out that our short opens with Daffy watching television. Good thing his home has an island to keep the set functioning. The current show is “The Sportsman’s Hour” which is hosting a contest: be the first one to bring back a rabbit and win $1,000.00. That’s not too shabby. Say, doesn’t Daffy know a rabbit?

Daffy isn’t stupid enough to just outright tell Bugs to go with him to the studio, so he tries to sell the idea by offering him his extra ticket to said location. Bugs isn’t stupid enough to follow Daffy, instead claiming to be too busy for any fun today. Daffy makes him change his mind by taking a gun off the wall, and marching him to the studio. (Why does Bugs have two of those?) Upon reaching the place, Daffy sees exactly what kind of prizes this station can afford to give away. How’d that guy get the key to Fort Knox? And what’s his address? I’m suddenly in the mood to make a new best friend for one month!

Too bad Daffy is already busy trying to win a prize, or he could probably try for another. Wait, why give the benefit of doubt with that duck’s greed? He marches Bugs into a phone booth for safekeeping, and rushes to get himself a grab of the goodies. (Good thing nobody else was watching “The Sportsman’s Hour” or he’d probably get beaten to the punch.) While Bugs is winning call-in sweepstakes in the booth, Daffy has managed to become the contestant on “People are Phony”. (Not ‘Bunny’?) With a title like that, you’ll have enough material to reach “Sesame Street” levels of seasons.

The host, Art Lamplighter, (heh) tells us what Daffy is doing: going out into the world and helping an elderly women cross the street in 20 minutes. She isn’t Granny, but seeing as how this is a post-1950 world, you’d be forgiven for just assuming any elderly woman in the Looneverse was Granny. She also doesn’t want help crossing the street and beats Daffy the whole way. On the return trip, Daffy is run over, so Art declares him lost. (You know, when I was a contestant on this show, I helped an old lady cross a street and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.)

Daffy goes back to collect Bugs, who is still counting his winnings. He lures Daffy into the booth by saying the guy who gave him the dough might call back, and then imitating a ringing phone. (Woah! I didn’t know Bugs could make his arm disappear!) Daffy takes the bait, and the TNT receiver Bugs left for him. Bugs is now loose in the studio, and can disguise himself as an usher to send Daffy into the wrong rooms, or as a director on “Costume Show.” (Wow. That has ‘second season’ written all over it.) He gets Daffy in and in costume too: a rabbit costume.

Following stage instructions, Daffy walks out on the set of “The Sportsman’s Hour” with Bugs dressed as in Elmer attire. (I know Bugs is slightly taller than Daffy, but did the duck shrink in that suit?)Bugs wins another prize. Daffy reveals that he is actually a duck, and that suits the host just fine as the shortest rabbit season on record has just ended, and the shortest duck season has just begun. Fire away!

Favorite Part: Daffy inviting Bugs on the outing and the exasperated “Oh, boy!” and eye roll Bugs lets out. He knows him too well.

Personal Rating: 3

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Dog Collared

“Suh-Suh-Sunday driver!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Charles McKimson; Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and J.C. Melendez; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on December 2, 1951.

Here we are. Porky’s final solo work. Of course, it makes me sad, but I can’t deny that his best work was as the second fiddle. And it does give him more of a personality than ‘everyman’. Too bad that Bugs has now taken that role, leaving Porky to usually play the butt of the joke nowadays. (Wasn’t that Sylvester’s job?)

Porky learns it is “Be kind to animals” week. (Which is what I call the first 52 weeks of every year.) Deciding it’s a swell idea, he sets out to praise any beast he may come across in this picture. (I like how the cat he praises thinks he’s insane for being nice to a cat.) This almost immediately proves to not be the best idea, as he instantly earns the affections of a very large, very cute dog. He instantly falls for his new favorite pig, and returns the love x-fold.

Porky changes tune and starts insulting the dog. The poor dear cries and Porky rightfully feels awful. He can easily take back his words, but the dog’s love is part of the package. Porky throws a plank to distract the beast, before making a break for his car. The dog pops out of the back seat and gives Porky the hugs and kisses that he probably receives from random women who fawn over him on a daily basis. But since Porky can’t see during this, they crash.

Porky next tries to lose the beast by taking many different public transport systems, disguising himself as he gets off each one. Brilliant! I’m sure the people he’s stealing clothes from are totally on board for this! (And his Hiawatha outfit is cute.) When he reaches his place in his semi-racially insensitive Chines outfit, he finds the dog copying him. (I’m not too comfortable with the hound pulling his eyes into squints. Good thing he doesn’t know any better, eh animators?)

Luckily, a pig’s home is his castle, and those were built to keep others out. Porky is safe, if a little disturbed that the puppy is still watching him from the outside. Even appearing on his T.V.! Because, get this, he’s actually a lost dog with a reward of $5,000.00! (Porky: “A thousand b-be-b-be-bucks?” T.V.: “No, five thousand b-be-b-be-bucks!”) Of course, once Porky gets outside, the beast is nowhere in sight. (But he does find one of Pluto’s quint-pup-lets. Neat!) The dog he is looking for is doing what I just figure anyone would do upon being rejected by Porky: ending it all.

Don’t worry! Once he sees Porky calling for him, he backs out of what is a always a very, very, bad idea and un-jumps off the bridge. Things are really starting to turn around for everyone, as Porky happily leads the dog back to his original home. But once they’re at the door, the dog slips around the corner and leaves a toy dog for Porky to return instead. (I can’t blame him.) When a butler answers the door, he is decent enough to let Porky keep his dignity and doesn’t point out the phony, just instead saying it’s not the dog they’re looking for, as theirs’ could talk.

Porky can’t believe a dog could ever talk like a pig, and admits that if it were true, he’d keep the creature himself. The dog reveals the truth, and is over the moon and stars to find that he is now officially Porky’s pooch. Would that I could be so lucky. (Oh, and I was calling the dog “Taco” the whole time. I just wasn’t letting you know so as not to spoil the surprise.)

Favorite Part: Porky driving in his car, signaling a right turn.

And turning to the left! Completely missing the pile-up he’s just caused.

Personal Rating: I’ll give it a 3, but a 4 for dog lovers. (Which pretty much means it’s a four.)

 

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Don’t axe me

“What’s getting into these animuwls, today?”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Tedd Bonnicksen, George Grandpre, and Tom Ray. Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Bill Butler; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by: Mel Blanc; Music Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on January 4, 1958.

Feeding time on Fudd Farm! First up, feeding the duck. Daffy is the self admitted pig who eats every bite of his meal, the dish it was served in, then grumbles about not having more. He’s also not pleased to see the local Barnyard Dawg be given a ham and not him. (Sounds like I’m indicating that Daffy is into vore.) He eats that too, and shows the dog his chicken impression: drumming the serving dish over the dawg’s head.

Elmer missed the theft, so he scolds “wover” for chasing the duck, and banishes the beast inside. It’s there where we see someone we’ve never seen before, and I’m not sure ever again: The Mrs., Eloise Fudd! I knew Elmer wasn’t gay! There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s misinformation. That’s what bothers me, you understand. She’s just got off the phone with the reverend, who is coming to their place for dinner. She just needs an idea of what to serve, and brother, does that dawg have just the “duckiest” suggestion!

Despite her stating that she loves charades, she proves to not be very good at it, as the dawg has to eventually tell her outright what she should cook. Luckily, she sees this as a good idea and tells her husband to kill the bird. Hilariously, Elmer is considering it a pleasure. I mean, you’re liable to go bankrupt feeding THAT duck on farmer’s salary. (You’d need to at least be a carpenter.) Daffy tries saving his neck by using the PETA spiel. Mentioning that SOME farmers raise birds from egg to chick to adult, just to kill and eat them. Almost like… dare I mention the word… farming!

But not good ole Elmer! Since he has no need for an axe, Daffy chucks it in the well. Barnyard retrieves it, and Daffy beans him with it for his troubles. Elmer decides to use a razor, as it is more discreet. (I mean, sure, but you got to be more precise.) Daffy calls his bluff, and the farmer claims he was just going to shave. (I’d be a little disturbed if my poultry started talking. Don’t eat speaking meat.) Daffy does the whole “slave shtick” again, with the same results. No buttering up will keep a head from rolling now! Daffy at least requests the axe be sharp. Get it done quick-like, you know. Elmer agrees, and Daffy has an excuse to grind the axe to near nothing. Fade-out on a giggling Elmer readying his gun!

Cut to dinner time, Eloise hopes their guest will enjoy the poultry dinner. Only now does he feel need to mention that he’s a vegetarian. Too bad the fade-out wasn’t a fake-out, as Daffy has already been shot, de-feathered, and put in the roasting pan. At least the only thing dead is his dignity.

Favorite Part: Eloise’s charade guessing leading her to believe “wover” is suggesting “woast dawg” for supper. I don’t want her on my team!

Personal Rating: 3

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Of Rice and Hen

“WHAM-A-DOODLE!”*

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Herman Cohen, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Robert Givens. Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 14, 1953. *(I friggin’ love that line.)

Guess who’s finally getting married? Yep! My younger brother! Explains today’s short choice perfectly!

All the local hens are proud mothers who love nothing more than raising their chicks. Excluding Prissy, of course.  She has zero. And not only do the hens know this lack of poultry progeny makes her miserable, but they delight in telling her that she’s the lucky one, because they know that bothers her. They can’t even have the decency to let her be friendly with their brood. (Don’t bother eating their drumsticks; they’re too bitter.) And the hurtful insults are the tipping point. Prissy is opting for what is always the worst option: suicide. (Briefly suffering wing loss as she does.)

Luckily for everyone involved, Foghorn spotted her just as she was about to jump and saves her to boot. She’s smitten. There’s just something about a guy who saves you from a dangerous situation that you put yourself in. Too bad her kiss only confounds him. Oh well. Time for the daily dog beating. Barnyard isn’t even tied up in this short, so Foggy has to slam a gate on him to avoid getting pounded back. After this bit of fun, Prissy returns, doing a sexy flamenco dance. (I honestly had trouble recognizing her without her signature bonnet.)

Foghorn is finally able to catch on, and tells her that he is not interested in as polite a manner as he is capable of. For you see, being married would interfere with his ‘sticking the dog with T.N.T. stick’ shtick. Which fails this time because it was the Dawg’s time to win. (But look closely! While Foghorn checks to see if the hound is asleep, Barnyard clearly looks him right in the eye! Does Foghorn just think he’s tied up in his house? Or was that just a bit of a mistime on the animator’s parts? It all depends on if you want to see the Toons as living beings or not.)

And Prissy is still at it. Now trying to buy Foghorn’s affections with confections. He has to put his talons down and tell her point blank that he has no interest in her. She understands. Saying the saddest version of her catchphrase, she departs. Give Foghorn some credit. At least he knows he was being a jerk. But that Dawg gets to her and plans to help her, as it would be the ultimate victory for him. (Plus, he’s written several shipping fanfic’s about the two. He has secrets.) He says the secret to getting your man is playing hard to get and when she tries it, the results are instantaneous.

What really steams the rooster up though, is seeing the Chinese knock-off version of him, Fog Horn Capon, putting the moves on the hen. (Really just that Dawg in disguise.) Foggy fights for her, and Barnyard is quite the method actor, willing to take some punches and ultimately throw the fight to sell the scene. Even the other ladies witness Prissy having two suitors fight for her, so that really boosts her self esteem. Foghorn quickly claims his prize and rushes off to Church’s Chicken… I mean Chicken Church, and has the deed done.

He celebrates his victory before things really start sinking in. Only now does he realize that one can win the fight, and still lose the war.

Favorite Part: Probably the most savage roast I’ve heard and probably ever will: “Gal reminds me of a highway between Fort Worth and Dallas: no curves.”

Personal Rating: 4. Top form writing.

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A Hound for Trouble

“What are you anyway, a dog hater?”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Lloyd Vaughan, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, Ben Washam, and John Carey; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 28, 1951.

It’s hard to be Charlie Dog. Everybody but me seems to despise him, and he’s just been thrown off a boat. (Not for the first time if the captain is to be believed.) He finds he’s been dumped off in Italy of all places. Beauty of that being that there is still a good number of people who could be potential masters. After all, Italians are humans and humans love dogs. (If you don’t, you’re doing a bang-up job of trying to keep your cover from being blown.)

Mama Mia! None of-a de locals capishe de English! It’s a good thing that love is a universal language. Still, English praise will be easier to catch. Charlie sets his sights on on restaurant named Pasquale’s Palazzia de Spagetini. I think the lone employee we see working there is Pasquale himself. He doesn’t give any indication that he can speak a lick of English, but Charlie has made his choice. I admire him choosing a bowl to be his own. Now for the test: showing how lovable and cuddly he is.

Test failed. Although Pasquale is fairly kind in telling the dog to leave. Even if he said yes though, it would be best if Charlie wasn’t inside as Pasquale is leaving for a fifteen minute break. (Those are the best when they’re twice as long.) Then again, staying outside won’t give Charlie a great opportunity to show the guy what a great choice it would be to have an animal in the kitchen amongst the food and utensils that will be entering people’s mouths.

Charlie is now in the kitchen. (A young Brad Bird takes notes.) And just now entering is a customer ready for a feast. He orders… oh boy, here we go. He orders: na bella piatta del una cacciatore di tetrazzini cu ragu di marinara di la piazza rigotini mozzarella fina without onions. (Thank you, Wikipedia.) And I’m pretty sure that translates to a grilled cheese sandwich without onions. They don’t have that. The man settles for spaghett. Charlie serves it to him via spool, and makes sure he doesn’t eat an inch more than he’s paying for. Time for a bit of wine to wash it all down. The man leaves with whatever lunch he can keep down after seeing Charlie stomp the grapes.

Pasquale returns and is not pleased to find his customers being scared away. But Charlie has a surefire way to stay: he’s a singer! You will believe he can find a home after hearing his rendition of “Atsa matta for you?” Pasquale certainly seems convinced as he gives in and agrees to adopt the poor baby. Now, isn’t that touching? No wonder this is Charlie’s final appearance; he’s about to achieve his dream come true! But wait! That leaning tower located in Pisa is going to fall over and crush their little home! Charlie proves he’s the smarter of the two and tries to away from danger, but Pasquale makes him hold the tower while he goes for help. (Seeing as he’s bilingual and all.)

We end with Pasquale happy in his kitchen, no intent of ever going back and Charlie desperately calling for anyone to help; his pleas falling on deaf ears as they only speak Italian. That’s just cruel, Pasquale. (Mostro malvagio. Spero che tu marcisca all’inferno, lentamente.)

Favorite Part: Charlie not only can repeat the original order flawlessly, but he sticks his tongue out at all of us who doubted he could do it. How can anyone not love this dog?

Personal Rating: 3. But I give it a four for myself.

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Tree for Two

“I gotta job to do!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Manuel Perez; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 4, 1952.

Best be on the look out ladies and gents, the newspapers say that a panther is on the loose. I’m not a newspaper and I say that a leopard is on the loose. Panther is a term that people who can’t be bothered to read up on big cats use. Regardless of what you call it, this is a potentially dangerous animal that is roaming the streets and you’d be smart to use caution out of doors. The poor thing is lost, confused and scared and when animals feel that: they maul.

Enter Spike and Chester. (The latter making his debut here.) Chester is the hero-worshipper type and his hero is Spike. He suggests many typical dog activities and each suggestion gets him a negative answer and smack across the face. Chester saves his best suggestion for last: beating up on a cat. (I love how he still braces himself for another smack. Don’t let yourself be a hero-worshipper. Even the decent people will get sick of you.) Finally, something that piques Spike’s interest. Chester leads him to where a cat is located.

Their cat of choice is Sylvester. He was just minding his own business, singing and enjoying life. (He’s good at it too! If “Back Alley Oproar” didn’t convince you of his singing prowess, watch it again. It’s a wonderful short.) And that gets him hounded by hounds. He takes refuge in an alley with the two right outside. Spike keeps Chester out while he partakes in all the fun. Once inside he pulls on his prey’s tail. Only not really. That is a leopard tail, and Sylvester is hiding in a trash can. (Confused, but not stupid enough to point out there’s a mix-up.) That tail isn’t coming undone, so Spike follows it. He leaves quite shaken up. (On the bright side, it doesn’t look like he was harmed too physically.)

Chester takes a peek to see this “big” cat, but only sees Sylvester checking if the coast is clear. Chester offers to take care of the cat, but Spike’s pride ain’t having it. He goes back in to really give it to ‘im. The same thing happens, but Spike definitely took a beating this time. Chester still can’t accept this. (It constantly causes his whiskers to disappear in shock.) Chester shows that even a little dog like himself can pound the puss and fling him back to whence he came, so surely a bigger, stronger, (prick-ier) dog can do it. Spike’s resolve is restored.

Spike enters the alley again, and without a hiding place, Sylvester can’t do much more but claw blindly at the air. Amused, Spike lets him give his best shot. With both of them having their eyes obscured, neither one sees the leopard clawing the mutt to bits for daring to pick on his distant relative. Spike is horrified, and flees. Sylvester can’t believe what he’s seeing, but he seems to be seeing it. There must be more power in his paw than he ever imagined. Now feeling strong as a leopard, he comes after the two dogs himself. They’re going to get the claw and leave him alone from now on!

Chester isn’t convinced and once more beats and flings. (Stan Freberg, you are knocking it out of the park with this performance. Really wish you got to star alongside Mel more often.) So in the end, Chester is considered the tough one and he gets to bully and smack the hero-worshipping Spike, the leopard was eventually found and returned to the zoo which was given a good amount of funds to renovate the place and make it so the animals were happy in captivity, and though Sylvester got beaten up, he was known in all the cat circles as the one who turned the feared Spike into a groveling kiss-ass.

Favorite Part: The smile on Chester’s face when Spike tells him he can go get himself killed. It’s the same look we’ve all had when someone allowed us to do something dangerous, and we were about to prove them wrong. (Though not every one of us came out like Chester…)

Personal Rating: 3. But even if it’s successor got the same score, this one is better. I find the ending makes a lot more sense with everyone still unclear about what really went down. Makes Chester’s promotion make more sense.

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Leghorn Swoggled

“Kid don’t stop talkin’ so much; he’ll get his tongue sunburned.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Charles McKimson, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Emery Hawkins; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Eugene Poddany; Orchestration by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 28, 1951.

A total eclipse? Free of charge? Doesn’t sound like the thing Foghorn would be interested in, but he’s excited. He puts his head through the hole in the fence to see, and Barnyard slams a pumpkin on his head. He retaliates by sticking a boxing glove in a camera, and socking the hound. (And everything freezes for at least one second. Intentional?) The usual tricks and pranks are interrupted by Henery playing cowboy in order to get a chicken today. He lassos Foggy good, but the rooster sends him on his way saying the kid is too small for hunting.

Henery is sad. Even young predators have to eat don’t they? Barnyard lends a sympathetic ear and offers a deal: one bone and he’ll help him get a chicken. (Guy must be starving today. He’s normally ready to get Henery Foghorn for free.) Henery takes the deal, but as a non-vulturis bird he doesn’t know how to find a bone. He asks a familiar looking cat for help. Seeing as how this guy has appeared in at least four different pictures, I guess it’s time for me to give him a name: Fred E. Cat.

Fred knows where bones are located as all cats do, but he’s not talking until he gets a fish. (Typical cat. Always wanting something for the most trivial task.) Now, where would Henery get a fish? He’s not an osprey or eagle! The nearby mouse knows and demands cheese for the info. But unlike the other two, he actually has the decency to tell Henery where that’s located. (Good thing too. It’d be kinda awkward if Henery met a goat who’d say where the stuff is located in exchange for some food.)

I take back what I said. The mouse was clearly trying to get a potential future predator dead, seeing as how the cheese he wants is on a mousetrap. Surprisingly, Foggy stops the little guy from getting seriously hurt by trying to show how to get the goods without the pain. He fails, but Henery gets the cheese regardless. Foghorn doesn’t really care what the kid wants with the dairy, as he’s readying his next prank: building a train set that will deliver a pie to the dawg’s face. (Is it just me? It looks like Foggy should be singing as he lays the tracks. Or is that just the goofiest smile he’s ever worn?)

Weirdly enough, the mouse tells Henery where to get fish as promised, but Henery is still holding onto the cheese. He really strolled up the rodent and said: “Here’s your cheese, give me my end of the bargain! And now it’s still mine until your tip pays off.”? (Think of how many awesome deleted scenes we’ll never get a glimpse of.) Foghorn once more tries to show how it’s done and is dragged into the water. (And somehow got the fish stuck in his crop. He still gives it to Henery.)

Henery does it again! He knows where to dig for a bone, but still has the fish! What a joik! Well, he’s doing the digging right, but his shovel is adorably small. Foghorn comes to dig for him with real tools, but Henery leaves once a single bone is unearthed. Then Henery finally gives the other animals their orders. Foghorn has witnessed it, and asks why he didn’t get a present. Demanding his due, he fails to notice Barnyard about to clobber him with the bone. Once properly knocked out, Henery takes the rooster away on the toy train. Hard work and good deeds pay off in the grand scheme of things.

Favorite Part: When Foghorn is giving fishing tips. The disgusted grimace Henery gives us is just wonderful.

Personal Rating: Foggy has some great lines here, but it feels like two different cartoons got spliced together and the misjoint is felt. It’s lucky to get a 3.

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Hare-less Wolf

“Heywhat’salltheexcitement?”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bep6u

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Art Davis and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Boris Gorelick; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc (Uncredited: June Foray); Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on February 1, 1958.

Charles M. Wolf enjoys his life. Most wolves have to worry about hunting versus starving. Getting shot at by humans. Pounded by sheepdogs. Not Charles. He can sit on his tail and watch all the television he wants. Well, that’s the dream, anyway. The woman of the cave isn’t about to let lazy wolves lie, and tells him to go catch a rabbit for supper, as there’s no other food in the cave. (They’ve already eaten all the bats and olms.) Frightened, Charles takes his gun and his leave.

Bugs asks the wolf what he’s doing. And… Charles has no idea. Seems constant television is actually detrimental to to the brain, and like all lessons in life, Charles has learned it too late. Bugs is able to take a guess that since he has a gun, he must be hunting and Charles remembers that he is! … But what was he hunting? (Wonder if Charles is related to this guy. Wonder why Friz likes forgetful lupines so much.) He muses over a few choices, before Bugs guesses the correct one. Rabbit? That’s the ticket. And give Charles his due. Once he remembers, he takes shots at Bugs. Too bad he misses.

While chasing the prey, Bugs stops and asks what he’s chasing. Now that’s a good question! And while Charles has good answers, none of them are right. Bugs answers for him again, then trips him. Safe in his hole, Bugs flat out hands Charles a grenade, complete with instructions. He follows them, but does each step as he goes. I love how worried he grows as he reads that he has had ten seconds to throw the explosive, and they’re about spent. (Although, I timed him. He clearly had 24.)

Then there’s a gag that seems out of place. Charles just following a lit fuse to an explosive. Shouldn’t he have forgotten what he’s chasing again, and Bugs would tell him it was that? And he’d be all, “That doesn’t sound right.” But Bugs would tell him it’s what he was chasing, and the poor guy would follow the trap. He doesn’t even say something like “What’s this?” It just seems out of character. He’s forgetful sure, but I don’t think anyone’s attention span could be deterred that easil-I’m bored of typing today. I’m taking off early.

Fine. But I get next week off!

Bugs constructs a phony door on a piece of wood dangling off a cliff. And reminds Charles that he’s going to break it down, should it remain closed. (See? That’s how Charles should get started on asinine tasks.) He breaks it down, and falls down, too. Angered, he runs all the way back up to Bugs. Bugs asks him what he wants. Charles doesn’t know. It’s one of those questions we’ve all got to ask ourselves, and now is his time.

Come nightfall, he’s still at it. Working his way through every species of the animal kingdom. There’s only a couple million. He’ll be done in a few weeks. (Unless he starts thinking of all the extinct ones. Then he’s doomed to die out here.)

Favorite Part: After Bugs asks Charles what he is doing the second time, the smug smile he has on his face. It says “I’m a prick, but I do have fun.”

Personal Rating: 1? No, that’s not right. 2? No, not a two. 87,000,000,000? Nah. That can’t be right. …

Oh yeah! A 3! Yeah!

… Now what was I rating again?

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Feather Bluster

“… I prefer, I say, I prefers to dish it out.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, Tom Ray, George Grandpre, and Warren Batchelder; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Bill Butler; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc. Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn and Carl Stalling.

I knew it! I frigging knew it! Foghorn and the Dawg were really friends deep down! See? They’re they are, clearly in their 70’s (in respective dog and chicken years) and playing a friendly game of checkers. The horseplay of yesteryear is carried on through the younger generation, as Foggy’s grandson paddles the Barnyard’s grandson, runs to the limit of his rope, and tells him to shaddup. Wait… that puppy looks famil- OH MY BOB! THIS! He’s the answer to the question I asked nine years ago! I finally figured it out!*

Foghorn can’t believe how today’s youth behaves, but B.D. reminds him that they used to get up to the same kind of pranks. Flashback time! Wait, is this another clip show short? COCKDOG IT! At least we’ve got a fairly interesting framing device to tie it all together. And yes, I understand why these kind of shorts were necessary in a pre-Bugs Bunny Show era. But they really don’t give me too much to talk about that I wouldn’t rather say later or earlier.

They reminisce about “Henhouse Henery,” and the time Foghorn painted a fence and carved a bat. Next, they remember that time that was high and flighty. When Daffy sold Foghorn a trick bone? Well, these two remember it differently. In their version, Foghorn just got the bone in the mail. Why would you want to scrub your mind of Daffy Duck? He hadn’t yet embarrassed himself chasing Speedy yet. And then a pipe trap from “All Fowled Up”. But this is just small stuff, as Foghorn remembers what he considers his coup de grace. Another memory from “Henhouse Henery” that ended with Barnyard having a green tongue.

Unfortunately, since the window was open this whole time, the kids heard it all. (How old is chibi-Foghorn exactly? He’s got adult plumage and a comb.) Seems you can’t beat the old classics, but you can reinvent them. Foghorn the third starts a game of doctor to get Barnyard Dawg the third to open his mouth. Thus giving him access to his canvas. (Where are their biological parents, anyway? KFC and Petco?)

Favorite Part: Foghorn didn’t need any encouraging from Barnyard to start scolding his grandson for teasing the puppy. Shows how much he’s matured since 1946.

Personal Rating: 2. I’m sorry, but the only clip show I’ve seen that ever had a chance of being more than just a lazy cop out wouldn’t happen until “Phineas and Ferb” took a crack at it 55 years later.

*Actually, I figured this out about four months after I wrote that post. I decided to never say so because I know how people like to act. We feel a need to inform and correct anyone/anything that can be found online to make ourselves feel a little less insecure about our own mistakes. Who am I to try and spoil that for you?

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Hare Brush

“Brudder, you got yourself a preposition.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, Art Davis and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on May 7, 1955.

Observe the E.J. building. HQ of Elmer J. Fudd the millionaire. (I hear he has a mansion AND a yacht.) He owns plenty of businesses too, so he’s done very well for himself. But owning all this takes a lot of pressure, and sooner or later, something’s gotta crack. Sadly, it was Elmer’s brain. Now, he thinks he’s a rabbit! He hops on all fours, eats carrots, and even makes the same noises rabbits make: Ehwhatsupdoc. This has his board members worried, and they decide he needs professional help.

They send him to the Fruit Cake Sanitorium. (It’s the best they can do with the lousy pay Elmer’s been giving them lately.) Now, I don’t know anywhere near close enough to be considered a psychiatrist, but is indulging in the patient’s delusions really how you want to start? Look at the guy. He’s even dressed like a rabbit now. (And if you know anything about what rabbit’s eat, you should be very concerned right about… now.) It’s then when Elmer notices another rabbit outside the window. He easily lures his fellow lagomorph inside with the promise of bushels of carrots.

Said rabbit is Bugs who is fooled into thinking Elmer J. Fudd the millionaire is one of his own. Since the window is now open, E.J.F. the M. bolts. (Probably to check on his mansion and his yacht.) Bugs finds the place comfortable enough. Comfy bed, plenty of carrots, a rabbit could really learn to love it here. Now the doctor enters. Getting a look at Bugs has him claiming this as the most severe case yet. (So tell me, “doc” whose name is on that M.D. in your office? And why do your pants keep changing color?) He assures “Mr. Fudd” that while there is nothing wrong with being a rabbit, being a millionaire is even better. (You’ll get a mansion and a yacht!)

Thanks to modern medicine and verbal conditioning, Bugs leaves the place as Elmer J. Fudd, Millionaire. He owns a… yeah I’m sick of that too. I apologize. It’s Wednesday, and that is the day when Mr. Fudd goes hunting. Bugsmer is all for it, and in the woods he finds the perfect target: Fudds Bunny. Let the chase begin! Bugsmer thinks he’s got the rabbit cornered in a cave, but it’s really a bear. Running for his life, Fudds tells him to play dead. Always works. Too well, for the bear decides to dig him a grave. And since they’re atop a cliff, down the hunter goes.

When hunter finally finds hunted, victory is most definitely assured. That’s when a man taps Bugsmer’s shoulder asking if he is Elmer J. and you know the rest. The hunter affirms that he is, and the man reveals himself to be here to take him away. Seems even millionaires aren’t immune to the certainties of life, and Mr. Fudd has a good number of back taxes to his name. Bugsmer is dragged away, leaving Fudds to his freedom in the forest. Which leads us to the biggest question: was this Elmer’s plan from the beginning? (Smart AND rich. You don’t see that combo much anymore.)

Favorite Part: When Elmer first sees Bugs outside and get his attention. Bugs asks if Elmer is trying to get his attention and when Elmer confirms, Bugs gives him the (hare) brush off. That’s probably the most human thing he’s ever done!

Personal Rating: 4. Wow, has Freleng and his unit improved since last time! Far more interesting story, plenty of time for Blanc and Bryan to imitate each other’s characters, a brilliant way to shake up the standard plot; you’d find it hard to believe that Friz ever disliked Elmer.