Mouse and Garden

“We’re pals, aren’t we Sylvester?”

The best of chumps.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1960 Nominated for an Academy Award. Lost to the Noveltoon, “Munro”. Which was really good, so I’ll allow it.

Life is hard for Sylvester. If he’s not being anyone’s pet, he doesn’t get any food and is reduced to picking through the trash. At least he’s got a friend. Sam, (voiced by Daws Butler, the same person who voiced many of Hanna-Barbera’s characters, like Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, and Quick Draw) who previously appeared with him in the short “Trick or Tweet” The two are the best of chums. And they’re always willing to share the other’s food. Sylvester takes note of a mouse. It’s small, but it’s got more nutrition than fish bones. Seeing his chance, he ditches Sam and chases the rodent into a boathouse. Unlike most mice in Looney Tunes, this one is not a clever trickster and Sylvester stops it by stepping on its tail.

Sam comes in and Sylvester hides his snack behind a pillar. Somehow, Sam knows about this and hammers Sylvester’s foot and replaces the mouse with a lit firecracker, which Sylvester eats. Sam hides the mouse in a bureau and when Sylvester asks what’s in it, Sam claims it’s nothing. Sylvester pokes his head in and comments that he’s right. Sam finds the mouse in his friend’s mouth. Now that they both know the other is aware, they decide to put the mouse in a jug  that they dangle from a rope, promising to share it in the morning. (Hope they don’t mind if he dies, there can’t be an air supply there.) The two sleep on a bed that’s there and Sam dreams of a mouse feast. (Sylvester dreams of hitting Sam for dreaming of said mouse.)

Sam attempts to get the mouse but is caught in the act. Since he can’t be trusted, Sam is tied to the bed. Sylvester attempts, but Sam mallets his head. (All while still tied to the bed.) Sam tries to reach the jug from the water below, using a pipe as a snorkel. Sylvester puts another firecracker down it. (Is he walking on water?) Sam spits it back up a few times, before Sylvester plugs it up. To finally stop this whole thing, the two agree to be tied together. But later, Sylvester ties more string on the line so he can get the mouse without Sam waking up. He ties Sam’s end to a motorboat, but Sam wakes up and catches him. He ties Sylvester’s tail to the boat and exposes him.

Unaware that he’s now the one tied up, Sylvester announces his plans to have Sam be taken away. Sam points out that he switched the lines and shakes Sylvester’s hand/paw in farewell. The boat takes off with Sylvester, Sam, and the jug all being taken along. They crash and the two cats make it to an offshore rock. As the mouse (somehow escaped) floats back to land in the jug, the two cats continuously kick each other as we iris out.

Personal Rating: 3

A Peck O’ Trouble

“Well, I know what I want for breakfast.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1953.

Well, well. Look who’s back. Hope you don’t like these two too much. This is the last of two shorts that they stared in. It starts off like a continuation of the last one, as Dodsworth is outside, and no longer a pet. What Dodsworth is wanting is a woodpecker. (Very similar to the one Sylvester hunted in “Peck up your troubles.”) Naturally he gets pecked when climbs after it. At least he does mark the tree the bird resides in. (Not in the way you’re thinking of! I meant with a pen.) He’s still too lazy to do this himself. Or maybe he’s just winded from climbing the telephone pole.

As he muses, the kitten from the last short shows up. This time more of a yellowish cream color and sporting a blue bow. Also his eyeballs aren’t green anymore. Dodsworth tells (lies) the kid that he is an old master of bird catching and would be glad to tutor the young one. He agrees, and Dodsy sends him up the tree. The woodpecker hands the kitten a bowling ball which causes him to plummet and land on Dodsworth, crushing his tiny head into his “teacher’s” body. (Which briefly turns white. He must’ve been really scared.) Next attempt has Dodsy flying a kite with a kitten for a tail. (Cat-tail anyone?) Reaching in, the kid grabs a firecracker the bird lit and brings it down to his teacher. It blows up inside him. The kitten then unwinds a ladder to climb up with, while the Dods-ster will hold it steady. The woodpecker undoes it and Dodsworth gets caught in between the rungs. The kitten comes to free him. (Entering from the wrong side of the screen I might add.) and unwinds it leaving his tutor in only his boxers.

They try a pole. The woodpecker places some nitroglycerin on top of it and pecks it away. Dodsworth doesn’t even try to get away and takes it like a man. Telling the kitten it’s his last chance, he shoots him up with a crossbow. There is a brief scuffle that ultimately stops. Dodsy is convinced that the kid stole his breakfast. Another bowling ball lands on his head. It has a note in it from The Kitten this time. Apparently his name really is The Kitten. (All pigs call their offspring ‘Babe’, all cats call theirs ‘The Kitten’.) Speaking of his mother, she told him that if you can’t beat them, join them. He dons a beak and glove to looks like a woodpecker’s crest and joins the bird in pecking. (Not the kind of pecking you’re thinking of! With their beaks. What’s wrong with you today?)

Personal Rating: 3

Cat Feud

‘Electro-Magnetic Crane’

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1958.

Well, forget that Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot ever met. According to this short, this is how it all really began. Of course, Marc is gray here, so it might just be an alternate universe. The short itself starts in a construction site. Marc Anthony is a guard dog who marches in time to the short’s soundtrack. He takes great pride in his work and ferociously barks at a moving bag that contains a kitten. Um… Why was it in a trash can? (Humanity, what’s wrong with you!) Despite the large canine barking in it’s face, the kitten is not afraid and instead makes itself comfortable on the dog’s back. He falls for the cutie and adopts him.

He sets him down with a sausage to eat, while he continues his rounds. Hungry eyes are watching, however. It’s a creature that looks like a mix between Claude Cat and the Grinch. So we’ll call him Grinch cat. He heads for the meaty treat, but as soon as he lays one paw on it, Marc Antony is there to pound him. But the sour puss is not going to give up that easily, as he begins to raise the I-beam the kitten is on. In turn, Pussyfoot wakes up and takes note of the meal in its possession. With the dog’s help the kitten, manages to not walk off into the abyss, but he is left hanging by another beam. Grinch cat, shakes it a bit, (sure showed him.) and goes back to the hunt. (I really like how he’s animated.)

When he does get the sausage from the kitten, the kitten shows it is not pleased. Grinch cat does the ole “Go on, hit me!” routine, not seeing the I-beam Marc Antony has sent heading for his skull. Thinking the pain was delivered by the kitten, he doesn’t notice that a return trip means he’s about to be I-beamed again. (And I beamed.) Fearing the obviously herculean super kitty, Grinch cat grabs a hammer. Marc in turn makes use of today’s quote and pulls him and the hammer up. Grinch falls down, and Marc releases the hammer head on cat head. The cat grabs a hardhat and keeps his cranium intact. But the clever dog, turns the magnet back on, and the cat flies back up. Then Marc just trolls him by quickly turning the thing off and on. But he has to stop, when he sees his precious Pussyfoot about to fall again.

He saves him (her/it) and Grinch tries to make a break for it. He gets his foot caught in a bucket though, and the magnet grabs him again, wedging him between the pail and the hat. Later that night, he’s still up there as the dog and kitten happily bunk down for the night.

Personal Rating: 3

Guess who is going to a symphony tonight? Not just any one though, this one is going to be playing a tribute to Looney Tunes. A dream come true! Here’s wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

Conrad the Sailor

“You’re a sthlovenly housthekeeper.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1942.

Who is Conrad? Well, you asked the right person. If you didn’t ask you are either: A) already quite knowledgeable about cartoons and just come here for my jokes, or B) you are a sad person who isn’t even looking at my blog. shame on you. Conrad the cat only appeared in 3 shorts. All of which were directed by Jones, all of which came out the same year. This is both the only one with his name in the title and the only one where he speaks. His one defining character trait is that he has a little shuffle walk but I like him. His appearance makes me smile. This short was his final appearance. It takes place on a ship. (No surprise.)

While most of the crew appear to be dogs, Conrad is not. Perhaps this is the reason he’s the only one swabbing the deck? Listen to his voice. Does he sound familiar? No, it’s not Mel. Please stop guessing him. Would I even bring it up if it was Mel? That my friends is Pinto Colvig. The original voice of Goofy. Even if he is being discriminated, Conrad cheerfully mops and sings. To his displeasure, he finds muddy duck prints all over. Daffy Duck prints to be precise. After mocking his singing, Daffy switches his bucket of water for red paint. Conrad doesn’t even notice until the duck points it out. Angered, the cat gives chase.

Despite Daffy thinking he gave him the slip, Conrad is right behind him and pulls him into a lifeboat and pounds him. Coming out they both salute the captain, before Daffy is tossed into the sea. That’s obviously not going to stop him. The chase continues when he gets in Conrad’s way of polishing a cannon. Before they can chase though, the captain comes by again and they salute once more. Daffy starts up a game of “Patty cake” using the lyrics to “Pease porridge” instead. Which is a really odd rhyme when I really think about it, why is it not spelled peas? Why are they in porridge? Do people really want to eat porridge that’s nine days old? What is porridge?

They chase, (salute the captain again) and Daffy hides in a gun. Conrad knows exactly where he’s hiding and loads it. When fired, the bullet continues to chase Daffy. Him running behind Conrad, means that the cat has to run too. But this doesn’t stop all three of them from saluting the captain again.

Personal Rating: 3

A-Haunting we will Go

“I told ya, there’s no such thing as a witch.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1966.

Did you ever want to see what would happen if you crossed “Broomstick-Bunny” with “Duck Amuck” and added Speedy in? You did not, and if you are saying you are, you’re just being a smart@ss. Stop it right now. And yet, here we are. (And what an appropriate short, given the season.)

Someone in Bug’s witch costume comes up to Witch Hazel’s door. It turns out to be a young duck who resembles Daffy. When he gets one look at the witch, he bolts. Back home, he tries to tell his Uncle Daffy that he saw a real witch. Daffy, naturally, doesn’t believe him, and drags him out to prove him wrong. Hazel (making her last appearance in the golden era, which means it’s the last short June Foray worked on.) meanwhile, is working on one of her brews. She bemoans the fact that she hasn’t taken a vacation in quite a while, but she is interrupted by Speedy. He wants to borrow some cheese. (Am I the only one who thinks that’s a weird phrase? You can’t borrow food. You eat it.)

She initially refuses, but reasons that if she tinkers with the cheese, she can turn him into her double and then she can go have some fun. She hands him some, and wouldn’t you know it, it works. (Speedy fell for it? Then again, Hazel always has been rather smart. She did catch Bugs a few times, even if he did get away in the end.) Speedy takes the whole thing rather well and the real witch leaves. Speedy messes with the brew a bit, when Daffy shows up. Speedy invites him in and pours him some brew to drink. Daffy is pretty polite here, as he drinks it despite disliking the taste. I guess he made his point. (Despite the fact his nephew isn’t with him anymore.)

As he leaves, he turns into the thing Bugs once painted him to be. Hazel returns, (Wow. Short trip. Who was keeping her from leaving anyway?) and asks Speedy how it went. Speedy shows off the transformed duck who has still yet to leave. (I guess he found out what happened and wouldn’t leave until he was fixed up.) Hazel is angry and turns Speedy back into mouse saying that’s all he’s good at. Speedy seems a lot happier, so that was a waste of an insult.

She then turns Daffy back, and declares it’s been a while since she had duck. Daffy flees, but she scoops him up with her broom. He jumps and somehow has a parachute, but the witch turns it into an anvil and he plummets. But she doesn’t look where she’s going and crashes. On the ground, Daffy’s nephew finds him and asks if the woman was a witch. Whether he just won’t admit the kid was right or he doesn’t want him to be scared, Daffy lies about her identity and they head home. As they walk, Daffy turns back into his flower-headed, four-legged form.

Personal Rating: 1 (Mostly because the shorts it copies from are infinitely better, and Speedy really doesn’t add anything.)

Cracked Ice

“I can almost feel pneumonia, embracing me in its icy grip.”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1938

This short starts eerily similar to the Mickey Mouse short “On Ice”, which was released 3 years earlier. Many creatures are enjoying some ice skating, and we get a few sight gags. Like a centipede’s segments scattering away from it’s body, and a fish skating in a pelican’s mouth. One bird is jumping over barrels. He messes up on the final jump and lands in a open area of the ice. His screams are heard by that W.C. Fields pig caricature we saw in “The Coocoo nut Grove.” (Obviously, his name is W.C. Squeals.) He begins to help the best way he can: calling for someone to help the bird out.

A St. Bernard hears the cries and comes to the rescue. He hauls the bird out, picks him out of his icy prison, and makes him a drink via the various liquors in his barrel. (For the record, it wouldn’t actually help.) This drink succeeds in warming the bird up. But now, Squeals is claiming he needs some too. He is deathly ill, otherwise he wouldn’t touch the stuff. The dog ignores him, so Squeals tosses a boulder into the water, and calls for help. (Even yelling “Splash. Splash.”) The dog comes back and finds he is lying on the ice. Out Cold. (Get it? Don’t laugh. It wasn’t funny.) The dog quickly mixes up another drink… and drinks it himself before leaving.

A voice begins laughing at Squeals. To those of you who don’t know your W.C. Fields lore, you’d think it was just a voice from the audience. To those of you who do know your W.C. Fields lore, you’ll know that it’s Charlie Mcarthy mocking him. (I did not know this was something the two did. I had to learn it from the commentary on my DVDs.) Squeals vows to get the goods. He fills up a plate with bones and sends it sliding towards Fido. Before the dog can chow down, Squeals uses a magnet to keep the dish just out of reach. The dog gives chase and Squeals realizes too late, that he’s going to crash. The impact sends the magnet into a hole in the ice, where it gets stuck on a fish.

While it struggles with it’s new accessory, the dog’s brandy (which was nowhere near the hole) begins to leak into the lake. The fish becomes a “pickled herring” if you will, and swims around drunk. The magnet pulls an axe above the ice after it, and the fish ends up using said axe to cut a hole in the ice around that bird from earlier. Squeals meanwhile, has come to and gets ready for a drink. The fish comes back, and Squeals’s skates are pulled along. The fish drags him to an ice skating competition, where it plays on a clock, (That is just under the ice. Don’t question it) and swims away from a bigger fish. Squeals is pulled along the whole time, and ends up winning the contest.

He is awarded a big trophy. Pleased, he calls Charlie a “Termite Terrace” (always good to slip the bosses a plug) and pours the alcohol into the trophy to drink. Before he can indulge, the fish comes back and ends up dragging the trophy away from Squeals. (Much to Charlie’s delight.)

Personal Rating: 3

8 ball Bunny

“It’s a boid! A boid in a tuxedo!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

At a local theater, a show is just now closing. It is the “Ice Frolics” and it appears that their claim to fame is a skating penguin. Why, it’s Playboy. Haven’t seen him since “Frigid Hare.” (He’s not as cute as he was there. But he is getting his name.) But, uh oh! Looks like the rest of the crew forgot him! He desperately tries to catch up, but penguins weren’t exactly made for running. Or flying. In fact, unless he’s chasing a submarine, it’s probably hopeless.

While on the chase, he falls into Bug’s rabbit hole and wakes him up. Bugs is initially hostile, but softens up when the bird tears up. Apologizing, he agrees to help him find his way home. To his dismay, he finds his new charge is a penguin, and they primarily live at the south pole. (Although they do live in other places you know. Africa, the Galapagos, Australia…) But a promise is a promise. As they make their way south on a train, Bugs again announces his unhappiness. (We also have an adorable shot of Playboy hugging Bugs.) Playboy begins to tear up again, and Bugs apologizes saying he can’t bear to see him cry.

A hobo on the car agrees. Why, Penguins is practically chickens. (Well, they are both birds. So, sure.) And crying chickens make him so unhappy, he has to put them out of their misery. Coming to the rescue, Bugs points out that rabbits are bigger than penguins. (Not really, but sure.) The hobo agrees abandoning the bird,  and trying to get his mitts on Bugs. Bugs easily kicks him off the train. At New Orleans, Bugs has apparently had enough, and sends Playboy off on a boat to go the rest of the way. After it sets off Bugs overhears that it’s heading back to Brooklyn. Bugs swims after it, and rescues Playboy from being on the menu. (Are penguins really as tasty as this short suggests? I should test it.)

They make their way to an Island where Bugs forces the bird to build them a boat. Then Humphrey Bogart appears and quotes “The treasure of the Sierra Madre” asking for money. Bugs angrily gives him some. Later at sea, Bugs is going mad with hunger. The hobo’s words echo in his head and he nearly gives in to temptation. Luckily, they seem to have hit land! Bugs however, is not willing to pay 25 cents to pass through the Panama Canal. He opts to travel by land. It’s not long before they are captured by natives and are prepared to be cooked. (Okay, I really need a penguin hot dog now!)

Suddenly, something appears that sends them into a panic! It’s Bogart again. Bugs more happily gives him change this time. After many perilous obstacles, Bugs finally delivers Playboy to the actual pole. As Bugs turns to leave, Playboy begins crying ice cubes. He shows Bugs a flyer. He’s actually the only Hoboken born Penguin. (You’d think he would have shown him that sooner.) Bogart appears again, ready to ask for more money, but Bugs gives HIM the penguin this time and runs off.

Personal Rating: 4

Barbary-Coast Bunny

“You realize this is not going to go unchallenged.”

Probably didn’t have his iron today.

Directed by Chuck Jones

While he is tunneling to visit family, Bugs strikes gold! (With his head.) His happiness quickly turns to paranoia, as he wonders how he will keep it safe. His fear is justified, as he is being watched by none other than Nasty Canasta. (Not only not appearing with Daffy this time, but also looking like less of a threat. Either way, we know he is not going to win against Bugs.) Canasta sets up a fake bank, and Bugs happily deposits his fortune. As Canasta ties it to his donkey/mule Bugs changes his mind and asks for it back. Canasta responds by folding up Bugs in the fake bank, placing a rock on top and riding off. (What do you know? He did “win after all.”)

6 months pass, and it looks as if Canasta has used his ill-gotten funds to build a casino. He is busy putting invisible ink on the cards with someone walks in. To us, it looks like Bugs Bunny. To Canasta, he looks like the worlds largest lollipop. He asks if he can use Canasta’s “telly-o-phone”. (A slot machine.) Canasta lets him do so. Bugs puts his coin in and pulls the lever. He asks the “operator” for his ma, and complains to her that he needs money. He wins the jackpot and thanks his mother. As he leaves, Canasta (Amazed at what just happened, but not going to allow someone to win in his joint.) asks if he would like to stay and play some games. Bugs suggests marbles and Canasta agrees.

He shows him how HIS version is played. (It’s roulette.) Bugs bets a penny and wins. (Because the game is rigged, and Canasta has buttons to stop the ball on whatever number he wants.) He tells Bugs that in his casino, the customer always wins. (“Really?” asks Bugs in a hysterical manner. Kills me every time.) Later, it’s shown that Bugs has now bet just about all he’s already won. Canasta hammers a block of wood, into the spot Bugs keeps betting on. (A small problem I have: why does he need to do that? He tells Bugs it’s so no one else can bet on it, but it’s rigged. He doesn’t need to worry about that.) He has the ball land on double zero and he laughs so hard, he pounds the table and the ball ends up landing in the knothole of the wood.

Bugs goes to leave, but Canasta suggests they play a game of draw poker next. Bugs is willing to try. Canasta explains that the player with the biggest hand wins, and Bugs blows up one of his gloves. (Canasta: “Cut it out, can’t ya?) Bugs begins to leave again, but Canasta apologizes and Bugs is willing to give him one more try. They play, and Canasta has a full house. Bugs is not sure he won, because all he got was two pair. (A pair of ones, and another pair of ones.) Having enough, Canasta pulls his gun on Bugs saying their going to play another game. (This must be the way they play marbles in Russia.)

Bugs wonders if all you do is spin the revolver. He does so, and even more money pours from the gun. Presumably having gotten his stuff back, Bugs leaves while Canasta tries spinning the gun. It blows up in his face. Bugs tells us our moral: NEVER try to steal karats from rabbits.

Personal Rating: 4

No Barking

“Rr-Ar-ar-arar-ar-ar-ar!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

It’s sunrise at a beautiful landscape. (Or it’s a dump. Good trickery.) Claude Cat wakes up and whistles with a bluebird. Then he eats it. (If that’s too dark for you, two more birds drop a brick on him and eject their friend.) With that breakfast ruined, Claude sets his sights on a bone that a puppy has just buried. This is Frisky. I’m not giving him his own post, because he doesn’t fit my five appearance rule. Basically he’s a puppy, he’s frisky, and he sorta looks like Charlie, just with a shorter more dog like body, and longer ears.

As soon as Claude goes for the goods Frisky barks and sends the cat jumping out of fright. He gets tortured like this all through the picture. (At one point he does the run leaving things floating in midair gag. Just like Jones had done with Witch Hazel and the bull. Theirs being bobby pins and hooves,m Claude’s is paw prints.) Claude chases Frisky into a pipe but the dog’s bark has him jump and land out of the sewer. (The manhole lands on him.) After some typical puppy activities, (barking at a mirror, scratching, tugging on a rope) Frisky barks again and scares Claude into jumping in some lumber. Claude gives up trying to get even, and goes back to his hunting.

He hunts a bird which turns out to be Tweety. (A Freleng character in a Jones short? Freleng did something similar with a Jones character in “Dog Pounded”.) Frisky barks again and now Claude’s had enough. He stuffs a sock to make a decoy tail and Frisky goes for the bait. Claude grabs him, ties him up and gags him. Walking off he gets barked at by a bulldog, (I’ll just assume it’s Marc Antony) and jumps up onto a plane. Tweety watches as it flies off into the sunset.

Personal Rating: 3

Pigs is Pigs

“And please, could we have alots of ice cream, tonight?”

I remember when I first watched this. I had just got done killing off a case of the munchies, and decided to keep watching that Looney Tunes DVD set I got for my birthday. Turns out irony can be delicious too.

Our short shows a house full of happy piglets. For the most part. One piglet, Piggy (no relation to the other W.B. character named that,) doesn’t want to play. He’d rather obsess over food. Sniffing some pies his mother made, he grabs one, spins it on his finger and eats. He attempts to do this with the other, but is caught. She scolds, but her words fall on hungry ears and he just goes back to fantasizing.

Later, it is dinner time. Piggy’s favorite time. Mom says they must all say grace, but they pray instead. (Laugh. I’m funny.) During this, Piggy ties all the spaghetti strands together. As soon as the grace is over, he digs in and slurps down the rest of the family’s supper, to his mother’s anger. The next day, he is invited into the house of some creepy, yellow, hiccuping, bald guy with the voice of Billy Bletcher. (Pete the cat, Henrey Bear, etc.) He offers him a feast and Piggy happily sits down to eat. Oh no! It’s a trap! He is strapped into the chair, and a clamp clamps his snout. The mad man is going to give him all the food he can handle, and then some!

First course, soup. (Red pea soup? Oxtail soup?) A water wheel made of spoons, paddles into his forced open mouth. He has bananas shot down his throat and a gumball machine doling out olives as fast as he can be forced to swallow. Next, ice cream. Bellows puff air through the cone and launches the ice cream into his head. (What a waste of cones.) Time for the main course! A sandwich the size of a mattress! (First use of Freleng’s “Hold the onions” gag.) He is forced to chew it, and then for dessert he is fed pies (spun like the way he ate his mother’s) from a pie-a-trope.

After a montage of all this repeating, the piglet has become a ball of food inside a bag of skin. The man lets him go, but tells him he’s not half full. Piggy goes to leave, but can’t resist a turkey leg for the road. He takes a bite and blows up. Wow. That was morbid.

Okay okay, he wakes up. It was all a dream. And what does he do now that he’s safe at home? Eat breakfast of course.

And after I finished watching for the first time, I decided to go eat more too. I’m an American and therefore, I can eat pure fat like it’s carrot sticks.

Personal Rating: 5