Category: Friz Freleng

Isadore Freleng was responsible for more Oscars won than any of his co-workers. Here’s anything he directed.

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His Bitter Half

“Cute like a sth-tomach pump!”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8mb3g4

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on May 20, 1950.

While reading the want ads, (and having an errant ripple overlay his body) Daffy spots the kind of notification wild dreams are mad of: a single woman who is financially stable wants a man to tie it all together. Daffy is single AND  a male! Time for a quick courtship we don’t get to see, a wedding and honeymoon that is suggested, and the brand new happy couple arrives to their humble home. Here, Daffy tries to live the good life. A life of racing forms, lounge chairs, pipes and fezzes. The Mrs. has other ideas.

See, she is much larger and imposing than Daffy, and all that muscle says that he is the one going to be in charge of the housework. (The reason she has money is because she never bothered to hire a maid.) She just has to prove to Daffy that her threats to “slap his mouth clean off his face” aren’t hyperbole. And Daffy scrubs, and sweeps, and launders his life away. (Who’s the one wearing all those socks?) But once he’s got all those tasks accomplished, he meets the the part of the household the ad failed to mention: the step-duckling.

Little Wentworth is one one of those obnoxious kids who thinks fun can’t be had without noise. You know, the kind that nature intended to be eaten. He wants to play “Indians” but Daffy refuses. It’s just not P.C. The wives feet convince him to give it a go, and he spends the next shot on the run from Wentworth’s cleaver. (And if you’re too busy laughing, you might miss Martha’s Jedi powers at work. Those bonbons just leap into her wings!) Daffy’s next assignment: well, there’s a carnival at the park, and Wentworth would really like to attend. Daffy says no, but money talks…

I don’t know what kind of games they were playing, but they kicked tailfeather! Balloons, canes, kewpie dolls and… boxes of popcorn I think. But he drops it all in fright at the sight of Wentworth holding a rifle. Sure, it’s a shooting gallery, but it’s a shooting gallery in the days of your grandparents. Those are probably real lead pellets they’re firing. Daffy aims (rifle pun!) to show the kid how it’s done. But Wentworth is either upset he’s not the one firing the weapon, or I dunno, maybe he just doesn’t like Daffy, so he slingshots the carny every time Daffy takes a shot. The carny threatens bodily harm should Daffy keep hitting him.

Daffy figures out the ruse, and only PRETENDS to shoot. Wentworth doesn’t though, and despite Daffy gleefully smiling at the carny, exactly what you think would happen, happens. Next time, fill the fair folk in on the details of your scheme. Beaten and dazed, Wentworth has to bring Daffy home, where Martha just assumes her new hubby has been hitting the sauce. Wentworth knows that good children don’t correct their parents, so he doesn’t.

The next day, Daffy is roped into helping Wenty light fireworks for the fourth. He gets caught in an explosion and knows who’s to blame: that stick of TNT that has webbed feet! He grabs one that is the same size, and gives it a good spanking before seeing the one he wanted run past. After another explosion, he finds a new task at hand: take Wentworth to the zoo. Daffy’s had it, and refuses, even though his soon to be ex-wife is threatening to yank every feather off his body. Daffy still take his leave, and I’d say he won in the end. He clearly got away with some feathers still intact.

Favorite Part: The little smiling glance Wentworth shoots at us while Daffy is refusing to play *throat clear* “Indians”. He’s known his mother longer than Daffy has, and he knows what she’s capable of.

Personal Rating: 3. Ordinarily, I’d give it a four, but Freleng must’ve really loved this plot line, as he’d use it again in the future. And it was a marked improvement. See you then!

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Prince Violent*

“I see you’ve never dealt with a viking.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Co-Director: Halwy Pratt; Story by Dave Detiege; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Virgil Ross, Art Davis, and Bob Matz; Layouts by Willie Ito; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on September 2, 1961.

*If you’re watching this short on TV, it’s called “Prince Varmint” because… kids won’t get the reference to “Prince Valiant”? Granted, I’ve never read it, but I’ve always known about it. Maybe Hal Foster didn’t like the pun? Either way, I like the original title better. If only because it doesn’t get name dropped twice in the picture. Feels forced.

The locales had best barricade themselves in the only nearby castle, Sam the Terrible the terrible viking has just landed and is clearly having the time of his life in the role. He follows the people into their castle before they can raise the drawbridge, and it’s only a matter of time before he breaks down what little doors they have left. Having witnessed this, Bugs, ever altruistic anymore, gets into costume, follows Sam and rather easily throws him out. (Treating the guy like an errant trick-or-treater.) Time for Sam to spend the rest of the cartoon breaking back in.

He goes big, elephantine even. He gets one of those European elephants that totally existed trust me on this, so he can bust his way into the fortress. Bugs paints a phony door, and the proboscidean hurts himself. And when Sam tries to be Sam and berate the beast, it reminds him who’s the largest living land mammal, and throunces him. Since the walls are too thick for even nature’s best bulldozer to break through, the elephant just throws boulders over the parapets. Bugs stops him with pepper. (Did his ears shrink?)

The two decide to be smart and hide from view until Bugs declares the bridge safe to lower. They charge, forgetting that flimsy wood and nails were never meant to carry at least 10,000 lbs. Oh, wait. I guess as a zoologist, I should say 4535.924 kilograms. (But as a writer, I can’t help but notice how clunky that looks.) Seems their running out of ways to approach, but Sam, always learning from his mistakes decides they’ll sneak in via the back. He uses the elephant as a raft, forgetting that such animals are fairly adept swimmers, but this way means Bugs can shove a cork in the trunk without being seen.

The elephant flees back to shore, forgetting that he could just stick his mouth out of the water and breathe that way. But more confusing? Why is he afraid of Sam now? We already saw that this was a beast not to be trifled with. Did Sam threaten to wait until his tusks grow in, then kill him and sell them to the Chinese? Whatever the reason, Sam chases him off and tells him to stay gone. And I just fell like the reactions should have been swapped. Have the elephant get sick of Sam’s abuse, and turn on him before leaving. Makes more sense.

Sick of playing around, Sam grabs all the explosives he has on hand to blow his way into the stronghold. As he lights the fuses, he fails to notice that the drawbridge can raise in the opposite direction as well. A risky gamble the people are betting on here, as they’re still inside. I guess they figure Sam will die and the only other casualty will be the door? But he doesn’t die this time, it just roughs him up a lot. Even took his mask off. But he regenerates it and finally gets inside. Oh-ho boy! What he’s going to do with the women and chickens…

Uh-oh. Looks like he’s already rueing the today he offended Ali Phunt, as the elephant (Oh, snap! I get it!) has joined the other side and doesn’t fear Sam at all again, chasing him off with a club. Should be a happy ending, but Sam vows to return, and I have a hunch Ali’s services will only last as long as the free peanuts.

Favorite Part: The boat on the title card. I’m glad one of the shields is the W.B. shield. I wouldn’t have ever thought of that. Wait, if that’s my favorite part, then how low will the score-?

Personal Rating: 2. It’s just a weaker retread of “Knighty Knight Bugs“. And I’ve got a feeling this was one of the first shorts Mel recorded for after his coma. A good chunk of Bugs’s lines sound stilted and bored, almost as if Mel was hurting himself as Sam, and everyone decided his first takes for Bugs would suffice as the only takes.

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Pappy’s Puppy

“It’s a boy.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on December 17, 1955.

When a stork and an animal hospital visit each other very, very much, a baby will soon be born. (A baby ‘what’ all depends on you, the parent.) Butch J. is a bulldog, and so is his soon to be offspring. The blessed moment occurs, and the result is the same answer as this arithmetic formula: Q+T. Pappy takes his puppy home and provides the most important lessons a child can know. The kind you won’t learn in obedience schools. You know, looking tough and killing cats.

Kid is a quick learner. But there’s another kind of learning that he must teach himself: the kind you won’t learn in father’s school. You know, playing. Builds strong muscles, and teaches you survival skills. (I’ve achieved similar feats from playing “Mario 3” my whole life.) During his play, the little tyke (believe me, I’m tempted to make a “Tom and Jerry” reference) runs into his first real cat: Sylvester. Little fella is scared, but remembers his training and comes back to maim, as all good puppies should.

Since he’s small, his attacks are annoying at best. He can gnaw Sylvester’s fur off, but the short is taking place in summer. It’s actually pretty positive, if somewhat embarrassing. Sylvester knows how to deal with puppy pests: stick them under a can. Next time, maybe he’ll remember to only do this when dad isn’t looking, or he’ll replace his son with you. (Oh, don’t think your size will save you. He’ll make you fit.) Sylvester is either going to have to learn to deal with the tiny terror, or get rid of him sneakily.

But first, how about a game of fetch? The teeny dumpling can cease his endless barking for a quick round. He’s a natural! So, Sylvester ups the challenge. He throws the stick into traffic and a-dog-able runs after. (Hmm… you’re right, that is too forced. Guess we’ll just have to call him “Tick”.) You may think Tick is doomed, but funny thing about humans, some of them still possess humanity. And you better be d*mn sure that any human carrying that would rather crash than hit a sweet, teeny puppy.

He’s all right. But dad has had more cheerful days. But it’s nothing a little game of “fetch” couldn’t cure. Won’t you play, Sylvester? Toobadyoudon’thaveachoice! As expected, a cat isn’t worth slowing down for, and the poor schmuck is barely able to dodge death. He gets back okay, forgetting that the majority of street accidents actually occur on the sidewalk. (Darn those scooters.) But the death idea wasn’t that bad. So, give it another go. I’m sure Butch will eventually leave the premises to go share his happy news with Mrs. Butch. (Where is she, anyway?)

Ultimately, Sylvester rigs a bone up to a gun. When the kid pulls on the string… BLAMMO! Except, Mrs. Butch is worth putting off, and father knows best about what to put in front of guns: not puppies. Sylvester is forced to take the shots while Tick pulls repeatedly on the bone. It’s then that a knock on the gate catches the putty tat’s ears. It’s Stupor Stork! Clearly just starting his route for the day, as he’s still sober. Someone must’ve remembered that dogs have litters, so he’s here to deliver the rest of Butch’s nonuplets. Welcome to living hell, Sylvester!

However, Sylvester still has a gun, and while Butch will flay him if any of his nine angels become angels, Stupor is fair game. Cat chases bird, and dogs chase cat. Just like nature intended.

Favorite Part: The look of absolute glee on Tick’s face when his father is demonstrating cat killing techniques. It’s the same look that says “That looks like fun!” and “I’ve found my purpose!”

Personal Rating: 3, unless you’re like me and think Tick is precious and bumps it up to a four. I’d understand if you don’t feel the same way. He sounds like a wheezing chew toy.

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Malibu Beach Party

“I don’t want’a be covered in sand.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6hytc3

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Jack Miller; Animation by Gil Turner; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 14, 1940.

Like many kids, I had the standard ‘dream of being a celebrity’ dream. I was going to be a star of my own direct-to-video movies (I’m that old, yes) I was going to do all my own stunts, and people were going to love me and I’d be on talk shows. Oh, and parents and kids would both adore me because I’d be entertaining AND educational. What changed my mind about such solid and realistic career plans? Well, I don’t fancy the idea of having to socialize with other people in Hollywood. (Why must I entertain the amateurs?)

But thanks to cartoons like this, I can get a glimpse of what kinds of things happen when all the biggest stars of the day get together. Jack Bunny is playing host, and is still stuck with that name despite being all human in this short. He’s in character, seeing as the invitations he sends come with a coupon that will give you a free 25 cent meal in exchange for fifty cents. He’s accompanied with his lady friend Mary, who gets greeted by Spencer Tracy. She’s Miss Livingstone, he presumes, and Kay Kaiser confirms. (Both glad to have escaped from that squeaking Africa.)

Always on the lookout for a way to make money, Jack is selling boats and yachts. While a certain George hangs out with the rest of the rafts. The typical “Gable has big ears joke’ this time is him using them to paddle through the sea, and ‘Garbo has big feet’ one has her using them as water skis. Back on the beach, John Barrymore announces that he is here to bury Caesar. Bad luck for Mr. Romero. (At least now there will be no future arguments about his mustache.)

Bunny has musical accompaniment by “Pill” Harris and his orchestra, and the tunes are enough to get people dancing on the furniture. And we’ve got “Winchester” tending bar. Bunny wouldn’t spring for more than a half-pint of liquor, but it’s a party so he IS willing to splurge on his water bill to fill those glasses. Now for our singing act: Deanna Durbin. Her voice is so lovely that she could even get Ned Sparks to smile. (And he does with great effort!) Mickey Rooney is smitten with her but his difficulties with height means he can’t catch the flower she tosses. Carey Grant has just made a mortal enemy.

Bunny now hypes up the featured attraction: himself! And that means violin playing that many of us are too uncultured to appreciate as the highest art. But with the kind of celebrities we have walking out, I don’t fell like I’m in such bad company. (Even if they have comedically oversized heads.) Winchester too, tries to take his leave, but his boss ain’t having it. At least one person is going to listen to him play, and if he has to sit on Winchester to make it happen, so be it. (I wish I could say this was the first time in history the white man stood over the black.)

Favorite Part: Ned Sparks attitude is so bad that even a literal crab tells him to cork his windpipe. I like the crab’s line delivery.

Personal Rating: 2, if you know your old celebs. Probably a 1 for everyone else. At least “Hollywood Steps Out” had some decent gags that didn’t completely rely on knowledge of the stars.

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Knights Must Fall

“You can’t tell a knight from a day without a program.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5keart

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Manuel Perez, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on July 16, 1949.

Bugs lives in medieval times, when it wasn’t odd to see a rabbit as a squire, I suppose. But manners still existed, and Bugs doesn’t show a very good example of them, as he sticks what leftover carrot parts he didn’t want to eat into the suit of Sir Pantsalot. (His name really is Pantsalot.) If you want to over analyze things, as humans typically do, that action can be interpreted as Bugs calling Pantsy ‘garbage’. With honor at stake, the knight challenges to bunny to a duel, and he accepts.

The name of the game is jousting. The two combatants will charge each other from the mount of their choosing with their lances. Bugs rides an adorable little donkey that will now be known to you as ‘Jacques.’ They don’t really stand a chance. Either getting knocked apart, or just having the lance whittled down to splinters. And since everyone expects one of the two on the field to die at any time, it’s a fast-running sport and that means it’s halftime. We’re playing the “Rubber Band’s” one-hit wonder. A true blast from the past!

After the festivities, we rejoin the rivals who have moved on to clubs by this point. I think Bugs has tried to win the fair way long enough. Trick time! And a spring is just what he needs to fling Pantsy’s morning star back in his face. (Is that the right term? Even though it has no spikes?) But what really turns the tables is Bugs hiding where the sun don’t shine, so it’s always knight: inside Pantsalot’s armor. And he’s got a needle. After the poking, he gets his adversary to chase him into a manhole cover. (These times are well known for their sewer systems.) Victory!

Is what I’d be saying if Bugs had won yet. For Pantsalot has brought his reserves, and they are going to take the rabbit on all at once. (It’s only fair to fight fire with cheating.) Bugs isn’t going to be cowed like that, and quickly fashions a tank for Jacques to carry and they ride head on into the fray. And somewhere, I’m sure heralds still sing and shout, but there’s a lack of joy in Drop Seat Mannor, for Sir Pantsalot has been knocked out. Him and all his toadies. I like to think Bugs indirectly killed them. That is the point of a joust, after all, right?

And making the best of a bloody situation, Bugs makes a used armor lot out of all the leftover shells. Once more sticking his refuse into what once held a man named Pantsalot. That’s just cold.

Favorite Part: Bugs knocks on Pants’s helmet, saying that the guy knows who he is; he was here last night with Joe. Which leads to three zingers mashed together: the knight’s goofy smile, Bugs saying the guy really should have known better, and the hatch disappearing for a brief moment.

Personal Rating: 3

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Peck up your Troubles

“*Frightened meow*”

https://youtu.be/ffhcE1W9skM

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Champin; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 20, 1945.

A little woodpecker has just moved into a tree and Sylvester isn’t far behind. Using a hair net and twigs for camouflage the cat makes it about halfway up the tree before he is spotted. The bird haphazardly slathers the tree with some grease, and the next thing you know, the whole thing is covered, sending Sylvester sliding back down. And chopping the tree down is not an option, so says the nearby bulldog. (I like that he doesn’t interact with the plot much. He couldn’t care less what Sylvester does, as long as the tree if left alone.)

Sylvester tries stilts. He really should’ve thought this one through, as they don’t last long against an animal that frequently pecks holes in wood. The branch he grabs onto has a a similar fate. Sylvester tries crossing on the telephone wires. The bird finds the control switch, and Sylvester pleads for it to not be touched. The woodpecker does some good baiting here with a little ‘all right’ shrug. Sylvester does his best to book it to safety, knowing the bird is going to go back on his word. He does, and we never see it. (Does this cartoon seem a bit dim to anyone else? Even Sylvester’s fur is more gray than white.)

The plan that gets Sylvester to the branch is the riding a kite one. (Who’s holding the other end?) He’s got the bird trapped in his own house, so said bird tries a trick he saw Bugs do once. It works flawlessly, and Sylvester thinks that the totaled tomato is pressed picidae. He’s not getting any sleep tonight, which means it’s time to move to phase two. The bird disguises himself as an angel (Naturally, “Angel in Disguise” is playing. Stalling never misses an opportunity.) The “angel” gives his murderer a gun in order to make things right, because that’s totally what angels do. Sylvester actually starts to go along with it before he sees through the charade. He even manages to get a few well deserved shots taken.

The next day Sylvester is right back at it, and tries to batter down the bird’s front door. He ends up getting stuck in another branch, and the woodpecker baits him again by really taking his time getting set to give him a good pin poking. Fed up, Sylvester wraps some dynamite around the tree before the dog reminds him that it isn’t a good idea. As the cat puts out the fuses, the bird relights them and once they are all exploded, there’s no sign of Sylvester. The bird points up, showing who really wears the angel getup in this relationship.

Favorite Part: Sylvester figuring out an easy way to get up to the branch: just climbing air as if it were stairs. Then flashing the motto by which all animator’s swear: “Anything is possible in a cartoon!”

Personal Rating: 3

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Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips

“COME AND GET ME!”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8adyx1

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 22, 1944.

Before I get to a personal story before I get to today’s post, I just want to remind you that war is awful. You know that already, I’m aware. Still, I just want it said that during times of war, we say and do things that we will come to regret. Things that are hurtful and we should be ashamed of, but still be strong enough to admit these bad things happened and not hide from our past.

Before I get to today’s post; a personal story about me and this short. It was just another high school day, another U.S. history class and one difference: a student teacher. He was going to talk about wartime propaganda and said he was going to show us this particular cartoon as an example. I’m a pretty introverted, shy, slightly misanthropic individual, so you better believe it was a big deal that I blurted out: “You’re so cool!”

He never played the cartoon. He didn’t say he changed his mind, he didn’t claim he couldn’t find it, he didn’t leave after that day so he had more chances. He just never brought it up again and never showed any cartoons in its place. I don’t remember his name. I don’t remember his face. All I know is I made a mistake: I told a man he was cool, when he was not. And I’ll never be able to apologize to him for my mix-up. If that man is you, I offer my sincerest apologies and hope you didn’t wind up passing on any genes to any unsuspecting offspring. Now let’s get to what you actually are here to read about:

START OF THE POST RIGHT HERE! Bugs is afloat in a crate somewhere in the Pacific. When he spots land, he gleefully heads on over. He comments on the peaceful serenity that surrounds him before reality bites hard. WWII is still in swing and this island is already occupied by hurtful, incorrect Japanese stereotypes. And since Bugs isn’t drawn in such a disrespectful manner, he must be on an opposing side. Shame this must happen, but war is war (is hell).

Bugs manages to fool a man by dressing as a Japanese general. The bowing commences, but give Freleng’s crew a small point for showing that our adversaries aren’t brain dead imbeciles, as the one onscreen very quickly realizes that this general before him is really Bugs Bunny. He even reveals the charade is up by spouting off his own “What’s up, doc?” Bugs takes off in nearby plane with the soldier right behind. But Bugs is fast, and lands and ties a rope to the other plane, stripping it of most of its body. And because it is war, he gives the parachuting man an anvil, sealing his fate.

Bugs happily marks his victory on a tree when he sees his next foe: a sumo wrestler. (I admit, I admire Bugs responding by painting another victory tally. That is bass.) The wrestling match goes about as well as you would think. We in the future know that Bugs can never win these kind of things with his “muscles” alone. He must dress as a geisha in order to get the drop on the big guy. (Since Bugs already has buckteeth, it’s only a smidgen less insulting than the rest of the cartoon.)

Two down, how many more to go? A whole lot of them judging by the boats being unloaded on the island. A brilliant plan must be wielded to get Bugs out of this predicament. A plan involving ice cream! That’s actually perfect as everyone loves ice cream! So Bugs gives the people frozen treats with real grenade filling! I mean, he sells them the stuff because he’s going to purchase a war bond. That’s my attempt of making some light of this scene, as Bugs lays down some downright nasty insults to the poor guys. Isn’t taking their lives enough? A lot of families are about to be changed forever. (And poor Mel. While I have no doubt he regretted saying these lines, I would like to see a quote from him saying that.)

What’s done is done. Bugs has killed a minimum of 62 soldiers who were just pawns in this horrible game, same as him. I understand that he is trying to bolster morale for his country, but I wish he never had to in the first place. Well, at least he can relax now, right? A quiet, peaceful island to forget the atrocities of the world is what everyone secretly desires, right? Big wrong. Bugs hates tranquility! (I believe it. You seen the adventures he has on a yearly basis?) He’s ecstatic to find an American ship in the water and calls for their attention.

Then he sees another local: a fetching doe that doesn’t seem too harassed by Bugs enthusiastically running after her. The short ends and we can exhale in relief knowing that this was as bad as things got in Bugs’s theatrical career.

No! NOOOOOO!

*long heavy sigh* Some other month, perhaps.

Favorite Part: Bugs letting us know that he’s just waiting for the deserted island that will inevitably pop-up, because deserted island’s tend to pop-up in these kind of pictures. He’s that kind of savvy.

Personal Rating: 1. A few okay at best jokes can’t deliver enough merit for me to tell average viewers to hold their noses and muck their way through.

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Tree for Two

“I gotta job to do!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Manuel Perez; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 4, 1952.

Best be on the look out ladies and gents, the newspapers say that a panther is on the loose. I’m not a newspaper and I say that a leopard is on the loose. Panther is a term that people who can’t be bothered to read up on big cats use. Regardless of what you call it, this is a potentially dangerous animal that is roaming the streets and you’d be smart to use caution out of doors. The poor thing is lost, confused and scared and when animals feel that: they maul.

Enter Spike and Chester. (The latter making his debut here.) Chester is the hero-worshipper type and his hero is Spike. He suggests many typical dog activities and each suggestion gets him a negative answer and smack across the face. Chester saves his best suggestion for last: beating up on a cat. (I love how he still braces himself for another smack. Don’t let yourself be a hero-worshipper. Even the decent people will get sick of you.) Finally, something that piques Spike’s interest. Chester leads him to where a cat is located.

Their cat of choice is Sylvester. He was just minding his own business, singing and enjoying life. (He’s good at it too! If “Back Alley Oproar” didn’t convince you of his singing prowess, watch it again. It’s a wonderful short.) And that gets him hounded by hounds. He takes refuge in an alley with the two right outside. Spike keeps Chester out while he partakes in all the fun. Once inside he pulls on his prey’s tail. Only not really. That is a leopard tail, and Sylvester is hiding in a trash can. (Confused, but not stupid enough to point out there’s a mix-up.) That tail isn’t coming undone, so Spike follows it. He leaves quite shaken up. (On the bright side, it doesn’t look like he was harmed too physically.)

Chester takes a peek to see this “big” cat, but only sees Sylvester checking if the coast is clear. Chester offers to take care of the cat, but Spike’s pride ain’t having it. He goes back in to really give it to ‘im. The same thing happens, but Spike definitely took a beating this time. Chester still can’t accept this. (It constantly causes his whiskers to disappear in shock.) Chester shows that even a little dog like himself can pound the puss and fling him back to whence he came, so surely a bigger, stronger, (prick-ier) dog can do it. Spike’s resolve is restored.

Spike enters the alley again, and without a hiding place, Sylvester can’t do much more but claw blindly at the air. Amused, Spike lets him give his best shot. With both of them having their eyes obscured, neither one sees the leopard clawing the mutt to bits for daring to pick on his distant relative. Spike is horrified, and flees. Sylvester can’t believe what he’s seeing, but he seems to be seeing it. There must be more power in his paw than he ever imagined. Now feeling strong as a leopard, he comes after the two dogs himself. They’re going to get the claw and leave him alone from now on!

Chester isn’t convinced and once more beats and flings. (Stan Freberg, you are knocking it out of the park with this performance. Really wish you got to star alongside Mel more often.) So in the end, Chester is considered the tough one and he gets to bully and smack the hero-worshipping Spike, the leopard was eventually found and returned to the zoo which was given a good amount of funds to renovate the place and make it so the animals were happy in captivity, and though Sylvester got beaten up, he was known in all the cat circles as the one who turned the feared Spike into a groveling kiss-ass.

Favorite Part: The smile on Chester’s face when Spike tells him he can go get himself killed. It’s the same look we’ve all had when someone allowed us to do something dangerous, and we were about to prove them wrong. (Though not every one of us came out like Chester…)

Personal Rating: 3. But even if it’s successor got the same score, this one is better. I find the ending makes a lot more sense with everyone still unclear about what really went down. Makes Chester’s promotion make more sense.

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I wanna play House

“♪ I gotta sing, ’cause I’m gay…♪”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8angw1

Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Animation by Cal Dalton and Sandy Walker; Music by Bernard Brown. A Merrie Melody released on January 11, 1936.

If you were a time traveler, and you used that power to just go back and watch every Looney Tune and Merrie Melody in theaters in chronological order, you’d find this cartoon to be the debut of those famous rings that you associate with these shorts. (It’s always been the perfect way to frame the many characters who came after the rings left the screen.)

Out in the woods, two black bear cubs play. (Yes, black bears can have brown fur, you racist.) I think they’re siblings, and I’m claiming they’re both female. But to be on the safe side, I’ll give them the gender fluid names “coal” and “mud”. They’re wrestling and exploring the world, skills that will serve them well should they manage to survive to adulthood. Sadly, often times learning something requires a bit of pain, and Coal learns that even without teeth, a turtle bite hurts.

This amuses Mud, no end, and Coal ain’t having it. She flings a rock at her sister’s face. Look how fast it moves! She’s already displaying great strength! But Mud has awesome reflexes and doesn’t get the stone. Their father does. (Again, assumptions. They’re sometimes right!) He wants to know who did it, and both of his girls naturally blame the other. Personally, I’d always blame the first to deny, (Coal) but father bruin decides to rely on the spit test. You spit into your paw, smack it with the other paw, and whoever the exportation lands closest to gets the punishment. Spit says: Mud.

She gets some spanks (making cries that sound to me like ones you’d hear in a Dingo Pictures “film”) as Coal walks away. Happily, Mud doesn’t seem to hold any animosity and is eager to join a game of hide and seek. She’ll count and Coal will hide. With the game underway, Coal finds a caravan and takes a look inside. Whoever owns the place never learned the most important rule of camping: PUT YOUR FREAKING FOOD AWAY LEST YOU ATTRACT A LAND BEAR! They’re getting no pity from me. I hope Coal’s insatiable lust for the human vittles doesn’t hurt her chances of having cubs of her own one day.

Coal knows all about sandwiches, and makes herself a snack. And since there’s a jug of cider, a drink as well. It’s the hard stuff, and she’s drunk not too long after. The short has been frequently cutting back to Mud’s counting and she finally calls it quits after hitting 1,000,002; leading me to believe this has been going on for weeks. (And I guess Coal was supposed to call out when she was hidden?) Mud isn’t happy to find her sister lushly singing and cavorting in a human dwelling. She hits Coal with a tomato.

Tomato’s are nature’s sobering fruits, and Coal is cured and angry. The two wrestle, and accidentally unstick the brake. Since parking on level ground is for those who aren’t snorting jugs of hard cider, the vehicle careens down the hill; it’s two stowaways doing all in their power to steer. They eventually get the idea to use the brake once more, slowing the vehicle down, sure, but also losing the wheels to extreme friction. They crash, and seem relatively fine, but the cider jug hits Mud on the head, putting her into her own kind of daze. This is exactly the situation you don’t want your-

Father comes to his cub and sees her stumbling by a jug. That’s enough evidence for him, and Mud gets more spanks. (And you thought I gave her that name because of her fur, didn’t you?) Coal decides to get out of there once again, but this time a rock manages to hit her cranium. But we didn’t see who picked it up! Was it her sister getting sweet retribution? Or her father giving her some punishment for joyriding? What’s your guess?

Favorite Part: When drunk, Coal laughs every time she hiccups. It’s adorable. As is witnessing anybodies first drunken stupor.

Personal Rating: 2. Not a lot happened, and it wasn’t as fun watching Mud get unjust punishment as you’d think it is.

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Hare-less Wolf

“Heywhat’salltheexcitement?”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bep6u

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Art Davis and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Boris Gorelick; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc (Uncredited: June Foray); Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on February 1, 1958.

Charles M. Wolf enjoys his life. Most wolves have to worry about hunting versus starving. Getting shot at by humans. Pounded by sheepdogs. Not Charles. He can sit on his tail and watch all the television he wants. Well, that’s the dream, anyway. The woman of the cave isn’t about to let lazy wolves lie, and tells him to go catch a rabbit for supper, as there’s no other food in the cave. (They’ve already eaten all the bats and olms.) Frightened, Charles takes his gun and his leave.

Bugs asks the wolf what he’s doing. And… Charles has no idea. Seems constant television is actually detrimental to to the brain, and like all lessons in life, Charles has learned it too late. Bugs is able to take a guess that since he has a gun, he must be hunting and Charles remembers that he is! … But what was he hunting? (Wonder if Charles is related to this guy. Wonder why Friz likes forgetful lupines so much.) He muses over a few choices, before Bugs guesses the correct one. Rabbit? That’s the ticket. And give Charles his due. Once he remembers, he takes shots at Bugs. Too bad he misses.

While chasing the prey, Bugs stops and asks what he’s chasing. Now that’s a good question! And while Charles has good answers, none of them are right. Bugs answers for him again, then trips him. Safe in his hole, Bugs flat out hands Charles a grenade, complete with instructions. He follows them, but does each step as he goes. I love how worried he grows as he reads that he has had ten seconds to throw the explosive, and they’re about spent. (Although, I timed him. He clearly had 24.)

Then there’s a gag that seems out of place. Charles just following a lit fuse to an explosive. Shouldn’t he have forgotten what he’s chasing again, and Bugs would tell him it was that? And he’d be all, “That doesn’t sound right.” But Bugs would tell him it’s what he was chasing, and the poor guy would follow the trap. He doesn’t even say something like “What’s this?” It just seems out of character. He’s forgetful sure, but I don’t think anyone’s attention span could be deterred that easil-I’m bored of typing today. I’m taking off early.

Fine. But I get next week off!

Bugs constructs a phony door on a piece of wood dangling off a cliff. And reminds Charles that he’s going to break it down, should it remain closed. (See? That’s how Charles should get started on asinine tasks.) He breaks it down, and falls down, too. Angered, he runs all the way back up to Bugs. Bugs asks him what he wants. Charles doesn’t know. It’s one of those questions we’ve all got to ask ourselves, and now is his time.

Come nightfall, he’s still at it. Working his way through every species of the animal kingdom. There’s only a couple million. He’ll be done in a few weeks. (Unless he starts thinking of all the extinct ones. Then he’s doomed to die out here.)

Favorite Part: After Bugs asks Charles what he is doing the second time, the smug smile he has on his face. It says “I’m a prick, but I do have fun.”

Personal Rating: 1? No, that’s not right. 2? No, not a two. 87,000,000,000? Nah. That can’t be right. …

Oh yeah! A 3! Yeah!

… Now what was I rating again?