Category: Looney Tunes

Cartoons that were labeled as “Looney Tunes.”

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Get rich quick Porky

“This land is so saturated with oil, that you can literally wring it out with your fingers.”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on August 28, 1937.

Seen the trailer for the “Tiny Toons” revival yet? You must have if you visit this site. If my eyes aren’t screwing with me, it looks like there may be a protege for ole Gabby Goat! (Why not? Looks like Cool Cat got one. Probably called “Fab Feline”.) They could call the new kid “Chatty Capricorn” or something. (Since most people don’t know the term ‘caprine’.) All this is just my way of saying I’m reviewing Gabby’s final short today.

A businessman named Honest John Gusher (the brother of the guy who invented the fruit snack, no doubt) is preparing a scam. He’s going to fill an empty lot with oil, and pawn it off on the next saps he sees. Sadly, those two are Porky and Gabby. (I like to provide links whenever I indirectly mention a short’s title.) They’re on their way to the bank. Porky has a bag of cash that he is all set to invest despite Gabby trying to convince him to spend it and frivolously at that.

John (who is a… fossa? I think? Or some new species of mammal whose ear can vanish at will.) calls to their attention and offers to sell them the field. Even going so far as to demonstrate that it has indeed got the goods. Now, Porky is a smart pig. He knows that putting money in the bank is a great option, but oil is valuable. And if you saw a field full of the greasy gold that was being offered to you, you’d find it hard to say no to what would surely be a great payoff. He agrees and he and Gabby eagerly grab some tools and dig in.

Porky makes do with a pickax, while Gabby chooses the jackhammer. (The dirt not only changes color, but shape as well! It must be valuable too!) A dog also stops by to do some digging, but only to rebury the bone Porky unearthed. (Wouldn’t he want to chew it a bit before saving it for later? I wouldn’t ask if he entered the scene with the bone.) He has a bit of a hard time what with oil gushing out of every hole he digs. Making matters worse is a gopher that makes his bone disappear like magic. (That rodent’s appearance makes me laugh. He looks like a naked “Arthur” background character.)

John is still around and he decides to turn the oil off. Porky discovers the trick and is man enough to cry. Poor guy. I want to hug him more than usual. Since Porky is unhappy, John offers to buy the deed off of him for a whole dollar! (A-hole.) Since Porky is pretty much broke, he doesn’t really have much of a choice. But Gabby is still digging and his jackhammering has led him underground, and wouldn’t you know it, there is real, actual, honest-to-god, authentic, genuine, made from 100% dead animals, pure, perfect, not compatible with water, fresh from the ground, o-i-l, oil!

The resulting gusher carries victim and perpetrator up into the sky. Porky is obviously happy that he really is going to be a billionaire, but John’s still got a hand on the deed, and he’s not going to let go! Only a goat with a pneumatic drill could pull him away. So, after he’s pulled away and the two friends land on the ground,  Porky happily holds onto the deed! Oh, wait. It’s that dogs bone. Drat. (John probably got pulled underground and is now realizing that he will eventually become the very substance he was using to swindle people.)

But all is not lost as that gopher pops up and shows he/she has the deed. And they’re willing to give it back, as long as they can become partners. (Poor Gabby.) Porky agrees and to this day, you’ll find G. P. Richfield gas stations in every state of the union.

Favorite Part: When we’re shown Gabby is approaching some real, actual, etcetera, etcetera, it is labeled ‘oil’. After cutting back to Porky and back again, it’s labeled ‘same oil’. You know, in case we thought Gabby was heading for some different oil.

Personal Rating: 3

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Gopher Goofy

“LET’S NOT GET NOSY, BUD!”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Story by Don Christensen; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 27, 1942.

You know, I think ‘Bud’ is a great name to bequeath to the human featured in this short. He’s one of those odd types who obsess over their lawn, and therefore is probably using every child that has laid their little toe on it as fertilizer. He’s proud of his work. The grass is perfect, the flowers smell delectable (the way he’s snorting them, they probably smell like rubber cement) the gophers are eating the flow- gophers?

Well, lookie here! Two New York gophers have just arrived to partake of the this guy’s lawn. It’s gotta be healthier then the stuff they’ve been eating. The bigger one with the obstructing hair is named Virgil, and the smaller one doesn’t have a name. But c’mon! We’re all calling him ‘Ross’, just as the animators were surely doing. They are not welcome on Bud’s lawn, and he aims to eradicate them. Too bad he sucks at it. Can’t manage to decapitate them via hoe, or shoot them via gun.

Gassing them actually seems to have some effect, as not only to they get a whiff of it, but it starts messing with their heads and even makes them float out of their tunnels. (Bud? Just because the gas is labeled ‘He’ doesn’t mean you’re allowed to just use it for any random purpose.) Hilariously enough, their stupor is enough to get a drinking crow to kick his habit. They do try to flee from Bud, but crash into a tree and land in his tomatoes. He traps them under his hat, reaches for… oh, I hazard to guess. Could this end up with him mistaking fruit blood for the rodent varitey?

They don’t dwell on that for two long, as the gophers were smart enough to just tunnel away. (Burrowing species. Gotta love them.) So, since it seems like they think their tunnels are their sanctuary, the only logical thing to do is pump it full of another substance. Something more liquidy than a gas. And it should probably be something Bud already has on hand. Water! Of course! The solution was so obvious! Hope the little guys are thirsty!

They’re good thanks, but seeing as how he kind of is their landlord, the two decide they will return all the water they don’t need back to him. They burrow a tunnel leading back to him, pinching the hose until it’s finished. Once they finish and let it go, the resulting spray shoots Bud into the air. He finally snaps and upon landing, burrows himself until he runs into his fountain. We accept him, one of us! Gooble gopher, gopher gobble.

Favorite Part: When Bud says “I’m not really a mean man, folks. Honest.” between his bouts of insane laughter. He sounds like every single person who has tried to justify killing something smaller than himself.

Personal Rating: 3 that just barely passes the 2.

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Porky’s Ant

“What I wouldn’t give to catch one of those old pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh- those midget ants.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Rudolph Larriva; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 10, 1941.

What is something you’d like to do? Pretend money is no object. Pretend you’re as fit as need be. Pretend you have not fears or worries about failing. What would you do? Me personally, I’d be traveling the world just to see different animals. Porky is in the midst of that, and I’m envious. He’s just waltzing around Africa with a silent guide reading a book about rare insects. (My dream…)

One such insect is known as the Pigmy Ant (Pgymy formicidae). A creature not named for its size, but because it has a habit of dressing like humans. They’re also worth $150,000.00. Sadly, Porky is more interested in the price than the creature. Luckily for him, one of these ants is following him and his guide. (I wish it was Inki. That’d be a fun cameo.) Pigmy ant hierarchies are determined by the size of the bone in their topknots. The bigger the bone, the more likely you are to score mates. As such, the little gal feels the guide’s bone is better because it’s bigger.

Small, though she may be, the guide can feel her tugging on his clothing. When he turns to look. He crashes into Porky, flinging supplies every which way. When Porky sees the ant, he confirms with the book on her species. Yep. She’s the one! She’s fast, too! She bolts for the safety of her hill before Porky can nab her. Time to do a little luring. Good thing Porky brought some chocolates with him. He sets a bonbon behind some flypaper, unaware that the ant could just walk around it. He throws it away, and it lands on his guide’s face.

The ant ducks under some growth and Porky reaches after, unaware of the slumbering lion within. He throws a lasso that the ant sticks around the cat’s paws and pulls it out. (Porky lifts.) He puts it back. Now he knows that ant’s game, but still doesn’t dare get near her when she returns to its protection. She taunts him, but doesn’t realize the lion gets up and leaves until Porky has crawled out of the bush and is nearing.

Back at the guide, he finds another lion. It chases him back to Porky and the two can do nothing more than hide. Good thing the ant doesn’t hate them. She uses the flypaper to trip the lion up, saving the two from his intestinal tract. Porky is grateful and offers her anything she wants that he can give. She gets her bone, and since she’s following them still, I think she’s decided to let Porky adopt her. (…My… dream…)

Favorite Part: The face Porky makes when he first sees the paw he’s reeled in. He was all prepared to be happy, but fate didn’t get her lines right.

Personal Rating: 2

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Behind the Meat-ball

“You’ve had this feeling before, haven’t you folks?”

Don’t forget the gravy!

Directed by (uncredited) Frank Tashlin; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 7, 1945.

Fido is a dog, and like every dog I’ve ever known, obsesses about food. Seeing as he’s a proud member of Order carnivora, his dreams consist entirely of meat. (Notice how none of those visions are poultry or fish? Nice touch, guys. Being smart enough to not suggest your dog wants to eat something full of chokeable bones.) Dreams are about to become reality when his human calls him over for food.

Reality becomes a nightmare when he remembers that his human is one of those evil types who thinks because SHE’S vegetarian, so should her dog be. (Although this might just relate to my dog, but she’d be going crazy for those carrots.) He digs through his bowl to see if there’s anything he can stomach in there, and he happily locates a can of dog food at the bottom. (Because his human is one of those evil types who thinks letting her dog chew on a jagged piece of metal…)

Sadly, even this isn’t a solution as the ingredients are nothing but nutrients with no actual food contained. (Sorta like a reverse piece of candy.) It’s getting so bad that he’s starting to see pieces of the environment as pieces of delicious meat. When he sees an actual piece of meat fall out of a delivery truck, he chooses to not believe this time. But another dog takes the meat for himself, letting Fido know that yes, this one was the real deal.

He grabs a hold of the of the flesh, but since the little one (that is now called Rex) knew he’d never be able to win a tug-of-war, he hooked his end onto a telephone pole. Fido pulls hard, and gets a painful result once he finally wins the test of strength. And now a third contestant enters: a bulldog that I’m going to call Lassie. (Because she looks like a Lassie, okay?) Fido takes the meat and runs, but then does a really stupid thing: stops and taunts his pursuer. (You could’ve kept running. You could’ve eaten it while you had a chance. You could’ve made a decoy.)

He also tries to explain. Saying that the meat really IS his, but a small dog he never saw before took it from him. Lassie isn’t the understanding type, punches Fido and takes the meat back. In turn, Rex takes it from her. This leads to a chase, that leads to a tussle, that ends up with the meat inside Rex’s belly. Fido decides there is only viable option left: hitting himself and Lassie over the head and taking refuge in their dreams.

Favorite Part: Fido’s label for vegetables: “Bugs Bunny food.” (I’ve got to start doing that.)

Personal Rating: 3. And remember, it’s my two’s that equal mediocre.

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Well Worn Daffy

“I would walk a mile to punch a camel in the nose.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by David Detiege; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Bob Matz, LaVerne Harding, Norm McCabe, Don Williams, and Manny Perez; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on May 22, 1965.

It’s a one of those hot days that deserts are known for. You can tell by how wildly the sun is pulsating. Speedy is in the midst of dying of thirst with a couple of pals, Pedro and Jose. Just as they are about ready to give up all hope, they spot a well with an oasis around it. Plenty of water there, but it’s off limits as the ones claiming it are Daffy and his camel. They don’t show any proof that they own the place, but they have a gun with them. That’s pretty realistic.

This situation is rather tortuous. Not helping it any is Daffy purposely wasting the water in front of the dehydrated mice. (And even if he was willing to share, that would mean trying to get a drop away from that camel. You seen the intake on those things?) Speedy comes up with a clever plan: he gets Daffy to chase him while the other two make a dash for the H2O. It works decently, but they didn ‘t count on the guard camel actually being in the well. Speedy decides to just try again, not giving any indication that the camel has even left the well by this point.

Well, guess the camel is gone or drowned by this point as Speedy gets a dipper full of the life juice. Daffy manages to succeed in stopping him though, by shooting the container. That is pretty dang impressive seeing as it’s Daffy. And no, the camel is still alive. Speedy learns this when the dromedary succeeds to keep the water from leaving with a trip wire. (I don’t like his laugh. It’s kinda unnerving. And yet, it kinda sounds like what I think a camel would sound like if it could laugh. Which makes it all the more disturbing.)

Okay, so carrying any water away doesn’t seem to have any chance of success. Speedy tries siphoning. He gets Daffy from the hose, who lets them have more gunshots. (Speedy looks so unnatural running away slow and lumbery. Is the lack of water finally taking its toll?) Daffy loads up with all the water he and Camel Joe can hold, and to make sure the mice die, he leaves explosives around the well. Speedy ties them to Joe’s tail and the two run for their lives, losing their water reserves in the process.

Finally allowed to drink, the mice grow swollen on the precious resource. A desperate duck and camel soon come calling, begging for the rodents to spare a drink. (The camel is clearly faking to spare Daffy’s feelings. His hump isn’t even sagging.) Proving that being the “bigger man” is always figurative, Speedy sprays him with the hose.

Favorite Part: Joe saying that Daffy gives him a headache. He doesn’t enjoy hanging around the mallard, but why give up all the free water that comes with the job?

Personal Rating: 2

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The Solid Tin Coyote

“One more try, you idiot.“

Directed by Rudy Larriva; Story by Don Jurwich; Animation by Hank Smith, Virgil Ross, and Bob Bransford; Layouts by Don Sheppard; Backgrounds by Anthony Rizzo; Film Editor: Joe Siracusa; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on February 29, 1966.

Glue has proven ineffective when hunting roadrunners. Now, tar is the real deal! Wile E slathers a good amount on the road, but that darn Roadrunner can run right through it without any slowing effects. Oh, but when Wile E. stands on the stuff, he has a hassle getting free. Only by pulling with all his might does he get out of the stuff on the street, and back in the stuff in the bucket. He has to hop away and they really take their time building up to the inevitable incoming vehicle that will run him down. (More time means less jokes they have to think up.)

After a falling off a cliff whilst setting up a mirror, (it probably wasn’t going to be all that funny anyway.) Wile E. lands in a dump. (The trash looking like it belongs in a different cartoon. Superimposed images, and all that.) This gives him a new and better idea. He grabs armloads of junk and sets to build his greatest, (if possibly not biggest) creation yet! (The title is lying to us. I saw him grab glass, porcelain, fabric and wood.) Presenting: a colossal robotic Canis latrans that can run without tiring. And it is conveniently controlled by a device that tells it what actions to perform. (And thankfully looking a lot better than what the title card promised.)

There’s just one teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, speck of a crumb of a problem with it: the stop function doesn’t appear to actually function. (Not like Wile E. tried all that hard to get out of its way, though.) Still, it’s a brilliant piece of work! Being a robot means they can use that as an excuse for how choppy their animation can get. DARN THOSE-!  Oh, you know already. The hunt begins, and it still looks odd to me when the Roadrunner shows fear. Still, he manages stay free thanks to Wile E. using easy to misinterpret commands, and standing in improperly safe locations.

This calls for enhancements! Two fangs should do the trick! I… what. Odd. But even more odd? The bird gets caught! Yeah, I know! I feel like I’m lying through my fingers as I type! (Don’t mock fangs. They get results.) So he’s in the clutches of one of the coyotes; what will Wile E. do now? He tells the robot to eat of, course. Sure, why not? At best it will keep his prey detained, at worse it will grind the bird into paste that Wile E. will have to scrape off. Either way, that will spell the end of Wile E.’s need for the machine so it pops him in its mouth instead.

But the Roadrunner is still caught, right? No! It got away without any indication that it did! That’s really lazy storytelling, Don. The Roadrunner is also on the other side of a chasm, but Wile E. didn’t notice that until the machine was already running. Still without a working stop function, the two coyote’s fall into the pit. Back at square one, but the ending keeps them from getting back to step two.

Favorite Part: The Roadrunner being curious as to why Wile E. isn’t chasing him. Suggesting that he thinks this is all nothing more than a game that he’s dominating at.

Personal Rating: 2. It’s got the usual brand of mid-sixties problems, but I like seeing Wile E. having just one plan for the majority of the picture. It’s an interesting change of pace.

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Porky’s Prize Pony

“All horses must report to the starting gate in three minutes.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Ken Harris; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 21, 1941.

The county fair has a $10,000.00 prize for their steeplechase, and Porky is planning on winning. He’s got his very own prize pony, (looks a little too big to me) but despite the title, he/she isn’t the focus. That honor goes to another horse who isn’t wanted around the stables. He’s clumsy, he looks pretty limp, and not realistic enough to be worth riding. But he sees Porky at it’s love at first sight. He has a good number of signs on hoof to sell himself to others, but Porky has no interest. (What he does have is a disappearing bucket. It’s awesome.)

The horse tries to show how much help he can be by carrying the bucket of water Porky got for his actual steed. The pig is happy to get some free labor out of the friendly equine, but again, clumsy. He trips and Porky gets all wet. Definitely not going to be taking in that horse. But he’s not finished yet! Next, he will show how athletic he is by jumping a hurdle. What he lacks in accuracy, he makes up for with effort, as he flies high over his target and crashes through a house. (Giving him a hat that fills in all the blanks for this guy’s origin story.)

Stallone’s next jump ends with him crashing into Porky and the frustrated pig throws his bucket at the horse. Stallone so desperately tries to be like Pluto the pup interacting with flypaper, as he tries to pry it off his face, and getting it stuck on his hooves. As he hops around, he crashes into the stable that contains Porky’s prize winner. It’s not harmed, but a bottle of horse liniment falls into its water and since the stuff contains 125% alcohol, I’m sure Porky would forgive me for betting on another jockey.

Come race time, his horse is all but dead. You can’t beat a dead horse, much less ride it, so Porky is out, right? Not if Stallone has any say in things. He picks Porky up and races to the track. (Making it just as the race starts. Great timing!) Since his jumping still leaves a lot to be desired, their plan is to cheat and just run through the obstacles. This works in their favor as  they knock a hurdle higher up than usual and trips up most of the competition. Except for… Sniffles? Is that you?

Stallone hides in a pool of water and drags Sniffles (or a look-a-like rat named Snort) into the drink. And that’s it. We don’t see them again because they were drowned. And this makes for an easy win. Porky is happy as can be, but Stallone scowls. His constant charging had him running straight into the awards, and now his hooves are caught in their trophy. Best get freed quick, lest you get put down.

Favorite Part: Porky’s little giggle when he first sees Stallone. It kills me, and the results play out realistically. Give those desperate for attention a drip, and you won’t get rid of them easily. We’re kind of annoying like that.

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The Lone Stranger and Porky

“Magic mirror on the wall, who needs my help the most of all?”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7xfew1

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by I. Ellis and Robert Cannon; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on January 7, 1939.

It’s 1865 and with the end of the Civil War, a new problem arises to fill the void. Many settlers are out west settling, but the activity is attracting all sorts of villains, bullies, thieves and probably even the occasional cad. (One of these crooks is known as Cob Blampett. Reminds me of the similar person we have in our universe: Ogd.) But we need not worry, as our narrator brings a hero to our attention. A man whose horse is faster than a speeding roadrunner. The man; more powerful than rattlesnake venom. With a mask to not only keep his identity secret, but his house’s as well, he is: The Lone Stranger! (And no, we never do get to see under that mask.)

He and his horse (named ‘Silver’ because we were so proud of our Lone Ranger parody, we forgot to think up a better name for the equine.) have had a busy day. Just like all the rest. Time for some vittles and shuteye. Even eats with that mask on? I hope he washes it. (Whilst wearing it.) These two are comfortable enough with each other to share a bed. It’s not weird. They’re partners, and everything they own, they share. It helps build camaraderie.

Now for Porky’s addition to the title. He’s got a shipment of gold to deliver, but this has caught the attention of a cad! (I knew they were out here!) He looks pretty tough. He’s got a color-changing mustache and a gun he doesn’t mind using. And a horse to tie it all together. (I think I’ll call his horse “Bullion”. “Bullly” for short.) One of the rarer breeds: a mustache mustang. (They need breeding to avoid extinction.) The cad with no name holds the pig up at gunpoint. (And I do mean “up”.) Porky is scared enough to phase out of the plane of existence for a moment. Where is a stranger when you need one? We’d settle for a social one, even!

Not to worry, the Stranger’s faithful scout, Pronto, has seen the whole thing and lets the hero know of the threat. Hero and horse come to the rescue, splitting up to take on their same species. Maybe that cad’s gun isn’t such a threat after all, as after unloading all the bullets it’s revealed that every one missed the target. Then the narrator mocks him, and is shot for his troubles. (You probably found him annoying anyway.) The cad now has a body count. (Of one, but that’s always just a start.)

The horses hiss and arch their backs as horses do when threatened, but then they actually get a good look at each other. It’s love at first sight! (You didn’t even know that Silver was a mare, did you? Sometimes it rocks to be a zoologist.) The two go off screen for some quality time, and that’s for the best. Not just because I respect their privacy, but the stallion clearly ate Goofy and it is distracting. (Makes him sound like a Pinto pinto.) The Stranger, however, has gotten himself knocked off a cliff. Will he be killed by gravity and sharp rocks? It’s up to us, folks.

You have chosen…”No”. A very good choice. Well, I did catch a few smart asps say “yes” and some idiot who didn’t vote at all. (Turns out he was deaf. Whoops.) With the power of audience participation, our hero ascends the perilous precipice, pounds the pugnacious palooka, and sends him… er, flying into a boulder. The impact turning it into an impenetrable prison. Porky is saved, and it is now time for our heroes to return home. Silver is followed by the litter horses naturally have. The five fillies are spitting images of their mother, and the colt has his father’s mustache. The breed will live on!

Favorite Part: When we first see the villain, we are so scared that we miss our cue. The narrator is on top of his game and asks us to not hiss the villain. Naturally, we have to save face, and begin our role at last. (Heh… sorry. First time jitters.)

Personal Rating: 3 that borders on four territory. Maybe I’d have let it have that higher score if Porky HAD ANY LINES! He doesn’t get any dialogue apart from his outro. (Which might be why it sounds like he’s really putting his all into it.)

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Africa Squeaks

“Now we’re looney-tuney!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Dave Hoffman; Animation by John Carey; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on January 27, 1940.

Africa is a place I’d like to visit someday. (But not if I have to share a plane with other human beings. Guess I better start walking.) In the meantime, I think I’ll remember the tales Porky told me after HE went to that particular continent.

He was accompanied by a legion of politically incorrect guides as they traipsed through the various dark stages of Africa. (This time, Porky stops in the darkest part. He knows what he’ll find if he keeps going…) What he actually finds is none other than Spencer Tracy who is quite the method actor, as he came all the way out here to mistake Porky for Dr. Livingston. But he’s not the only one mistaken around here. Tell me Bob, why are you insulting every ostrich on the planet with one of those ‘hiding their head underground’ jokes? I’m not mad. I’m disappointed AND mad!

And then we see some lions who must think they’re hyenas with all the bones they’re devouring. (I pity their stomach lining.) And, wouldn’t you know it, the world’s first Aipom! (Okay, Bob. You and me? We are cool again.) At night, we get a joke that is funny because it’s true. Porky can’t sleep due to the “silence” of the jungle. And Tracy is still looking for the doctor. He’s gotten way off course, as he’s now looking in kangaroo pouches. (He covers good amounts of ground.)

The next day, one of the native’s lets Porky know of the strange white man that is in their village. The narrator can’t believe someone of that complexion would willingly want to stay here! I mean, it’s not like there’s any other humans around here. (Actually, with how they’re drawn, I’m not entirely sure the native’s are human. That’s the kind of hurtful caricatures you just have to expect in this era.) This must be the man Tracy is looking for, and Porky helps the two lost souls reunite at last. Dr. Livingston, we presume?

Not quite. It’s actually Cake Icer! (A brilliant pun on radio personality Kay Kyser.) He’s here to turn up the musical charms and the whole jungle gets jumping! This is great! Who knew Africa was lovely not just for its scenic vistas, but also auditory parties? I could get to like hanging around here, but sadly our time is up. As we leave, the whole continent waves goodbye. (Did you know Madagascar was a hand?)

Favorite Part: After some baby deer shoot down a… condor? (Bo-ob! We need to have another ta-alk!) They laugh in the same way the bird was when he thought they were his dinner. Cute.

Personal Rating: 2 (Lot of hurtful images here, and nothing really noteworthy to offset them.)

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Bushy Hare

“I’m scared of the dark!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Phil DeLara, J.C. Melendez, Charles McKimson, Rod Scribner, and John Carey; Layouts by Cornett wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 11, 1950.

Bugs is a park dweller today. Most of the time, it’s a very peaceful place to live. No guns, no predators, no playing in the fountain… but today is different as Bugs is being watched by a very creepy Italiano who was never taught the meaning of “personal space.” (Kids, if you ever see this guy handing out balloons, run. Run and scream!) He would like it very much if Bugs would hold onto the balloons he sells whilst he ties his shoe. Bugs is happy to oblige, but being much lighter than the man allows the balloons to take him away from the reassuring grip of gravity. Once Bugs realizes this, he’s too high to let go. (No giggling.)

These are some quality helium balloons! Bugs has traveled from L.A. to Hawaii and still they persist. (Well worth the 25 cents. Just keep them away from the ocean, please.) If world geography has taught me anything, then Australia should be the next noteworthy location Bugs will fly over. And there it is! (No Zealand, though.) Bugs isn’t the only one up here; a stork is also heading down under to deliver a kangaroo joey. Looking nothing like how a newborn one of them should look. Shall we compare?

Cutest jellybean ever!
Bean’s growing like a stalk.

That darn stork union. When they’re not drunk off their tail-feathers, they show up six months late. After both Bugs and the bird enter the same cloud, there’s a bit of a mix-up. Bugs is now the one being delivered, while the joey is having the best birthday ever. (Nine balloons with super helium? I always knew my parents hated me.)

Delivery time! Mama roo is instantly smitten with her “child”. So big and strong from day one! All the other marsupials in her bridge club would sell one of their uterus’s to be so lucky. Bugs wants no part in this. (And he’s got to be seriously concerned that McKimson keeps making this happen to him.) But Bugs’s biggest weakness calls him back: the tears of a female. He agrees to being her child, and she happily pouches him up for baby’s first ride.

Australia is no stranger to dangerous animals, and the deadliest one of all has the two in his sights: man. An aborigine who is either hungry or a sportsman, follows the two with the best weapon ever: a boomerang. If he misses, it will just return to him. But a direct hit is gonna hurt. Bugs learns this fact the hard way. He gets in a shouting match with the man, (dubbing him “Nature Boy”) and I can’t make out what they’re actually saying, but Bugs must have called the guy some really good words, as it really rages him up.

He thinks he has Bugs in a hole at the mercy of his spear, and Bugs does the ole “You killed me and I’m dying” bit. Unlike Elmer though, he has no remorse and happily continues to stab. (I do love hearing Bugs say “Just go away and let me die in pieces.” Why don’t I hear kids quoting this line? You are shameful parents.) Perhaps the lack of sympathy from N.B. is why Bugs angrily kicks him in the hole himself. And tickling him? That’s cold, man. Natechy tries to shoot something poisonous with a blowgun too, but Bugs beats him to the draw and blows it down his throat. (Not as cold, for some reason.)

It’s Kanga who finally gets the best of the the aborigine and boots him off a cliff and out of their fur. Even better news? Those balloons have finally started to lose their power, and her biological baby drifts down to her glee filled arms. The two are happy to give Bugs a lift back to the U.S.A. and attaching an outboard motor to her tail makes for a nifty little boat. (As for me, I don’t think I’d be comfortable sitting in her pouch that long. I’ll just stay here.)

Favorite Part: I’m a sucker for displays of motherly love, so I adore seeing the kangaroo not taking guff from Nature Boy. Soon as she sees her adoptive son is in danger, she shows why you don’t piss off an animal that has feet large enough to function as water-skis.

Personal Rating: 3