Category: Friz Freleng

Isadore Freleng was responsible for more Oscars won than any of his co-workers. Here’s anything he directed.

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Sandy Claws

*Tarzan Yell*

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Arthur Davis and Warren Foster; Animation by Art Davis, Manuel Perez, and Virgil Ross. Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Carl Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 2, 1955.

I really don’t understand the Oscars. Not that I’ve really tried to, but this short was good enough to be a nominee? It’s good, but not great. If I had to pick from the choices for that year’s best cartoon, I’d have gone with “Crazy Mixed up Pup”. I’m digressing.

Granny is an odd bird. Well, she’s not a bird, but if she was she’d still be an odd one for resembling a human. She’s odd for bringing an actual bird to the beach. Not that canaries shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy the beach, but it screams “The grandchildren want nothing to do with me, so I shower my love and will all my belongings on the only creature that does.” She sets Tweety down on a rock, promising to return once she’s gotten into her bikini. I know half of you started reaching for tissues and the other halfs’ brains threw up. You’re both in for a surprise.

What isn’t surprising is Sylvester not being too far off. He’s fishing for his food today. The worm seems hesitant to sacrifice its life, but Sylvester’s gun forces its (suddenly appearing) hand. Bait and baiter are swallowed by a tuna. Sylvester manages to get free, but loses all that valuable sashimi. He needs something easier to eat. He is all American after all, and we are satisfied to put as little effort as possible into our meals. Just as long as it’s warm and tasting of salt.

Tweety meets those requirements. Sylvester makes to nab him, when he gets swallowed again. This time by a wave. He escapes again, but Tweety wasn’t so lucky. That wasn’t just a wave. In fact, I’d say it was fit to be tide! (I don’t like myself.) You can’t spell ‘catfish’ without ‘cat’ but Sylvester isn’t going to swim out to eat. He tries lowering himself via his fishing pole, but runs out of line. Hey, since you’re halfway there now, it’d be stupid to return to shore, right?

Right. So he steals a boat. Being tied to the dock makes him lose the sides via momentum. The three words that best describe him are, and I quote, sink, sank, sunk.  Attaching skis and an outboard motor work better, but he crashes into Tweety’s island. Hey, since you’re all the way there now, it’d be stupid to return to shore, right?

No, because then he’d be stuck waiting for the tide. He finally decides to just swim out via water wings (that’s what those are, right?) but that’s when the sharks show up. We don’t see more than the dorsal fins, but they’re obviously dogfish. (I really don’t like myself.) Too bad the tuna got Sylvester’s gun. Granny finally exits the changing room. Poor dear is really out of touch. Her “bikini” could only get away with such a label in the 1890’s, perhaps. Just for that, there’ll be no more Bea Benaderet voicing you. Somebody tell June to show up early this year!

As any pet owner would be, Granny is upset to find her bird lost at sea, and easy octopus pickin’s. Sylvester the lifeguard to the rescue! I love his little outfit! (I say “love” too much. I should really switch it up.) Granny loves him too, mistaking this for an act of heroism. He crashes, and she plans to revive him via bucket of water. Both end swallowed by the ocean. (This might be the record of times Sylvester was swallerd.) Time for a team-up.

Granny mans the pumps while Sylvester treks out in a diving suit. (Makes me wonder if she can understand him in this short.) Too bad they took too long, and Tweety just decided to save himself by rowing back to the beach. (Would his cage really float?) So elated at finding her darling unharmed, Granny leaves her post to reunite. With no one at the pump, Sylvester begins suffocating. Granny remembers him though, and does to her best to compensate. That’s more air than Sylvester can breathe and it has to go somewhere…

He bails from the now floating suit, somehow anticipating this very situation, seeing as he has a parachute. Granny has lost sight of him now, and is upset because she really feels like the cat deserves a reward. He gets the exact opposite, drifting into the institution you always find near the beach: the dog pound. It’s just good manners to give them one day of fun before they have to be put down.

Favorite Part: Honestly, the team-up. It’s funny to think Granny is unknowingly abetting in attempted murder. In fact, they really should have made it last throughout the picture.

Personal Rating: 3. Good. But Oscar worthy? I don’t see it.

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Streamlined Greta Green

“Mama!”

Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Animation by Cal Dalton and Ken Harris; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 19, 1937.

Today’s short takes place in an odd world where automobiles are the dominant life-forms. Post “Maximum Overdrive” they’ve revealed their plans, but pre-“Cars” every meat based creature has been eradicated. It’s a nice middle ground where we’re still sharing the planet, but we humans know our place in this car-dominated society. And the segregation doesn’t stop there. Witness the hall where only Taxi cabs are allowed to dance.

Okay, I did my research and now know what the joke is. It’s just literal now. You know, this world is kind of weird! The cars aren’t limited to driving on all fours; sometimes they get up on two. Tires are rubber, so they can shape themselves to be feet and hands. But boy, does it look unnatural and painful. I’d hate to imagine what the copulating must look like. Of course, I’ll be wondering from now on, since our main character is the result of that. I don’t know enough about vehicles to give him a clever name, so I’ma call him “Royce”.

Royce longs to be a Taxi, because I guess that’s the cool job in car town. I figured the race cars would be the rock stars. And the ambulances make more. So, how do the garbage trucks sell themselves? While I puzzle that, Royce’s mom find him planning for his future. Most parents like to see that, or at least tell their kid to not worry yet. She reacts with anger. No son of hers is going to be a taxi. He will be a touring car, like his dad who doesn’t exist on screen.

Royce refuses and his mom drags him home by his… part of him that the tires go under. (I don’t care.) He’s not to be punished, it’s just time for school. Was he playing with her lipstick? Why are his lips, (or just mouth I guess,) so red? She fixes him some lunch for later: a can of oil maybe?, a jar of traffic jam, (heh) and a thermos of gasoline. (A slightly color-changing thermos.) It’s sweet. I really can’t help but love scenes of parents loving their children. Royce should be grateful to have her.

She puts the meal in his seat, (How is he supposed to get that out?) sends him off with a loving pat, and gives his daily reminders about staying away from traffic and railroad crossings. (Her right rear axle keeps disappearing.) I do love Royce’s pouty face. On his way, he comes to what many of us only come to figuratively in our lives: a crossroads. One way goes to school, the other, the city. He hardly hesitates before choosing the latter. It’s closer! Maybe if his mom left his gas where he could actually get it, he could make longer trips.

The city is louder and less friendly. Royce should be glad there are no cops around. He shouldn’t be on the sidewalk. (Why even still have those?) He waits for the light to turn red, then gets on the road himself. Cars don’t have as many complex emotions as we do, so when the light is green, those behind him drive as if he wasn’t there. Good thing he just slides over them. Seems traffic was as dangerous as mom said. He manages to take refuge in a marked safety zone and gets a brilliant idea: carry it with him to be invincible. Gravity is the only foe he can’t conquer with that, so he falls into an open man-, excuse me, I mean car hole. (Egotists.)

Royce decides to make a stop at a service station for a drink. The human slave manning the place has many delicious flavors on hand: rose, violet, ethel. (Shouldn’t that be ethANOl?) Royce selects the Hi-power stuff. Probably not the best drink for minors, but the slave is not allowed to talk back to his overlords, and just comments on how strong the stuff is. And how! He basically gave the kid steroids. Royce is so fast, he could win a Piston cup before they’re even invented!

This speed stuff is great! In fact, disobeying his mom is what got him full of it, so he might as well go against her other wish and screw around by the railroad tracks. (The trains don’t seem to be sentient yet. Do you really care why?) Driving alongside it, he darts ahead and just barely passes in front of it at the nearest crossing. That was fun! Again! Wow, twice as fun that time! Again! Ah, if only poor little Royce listened to his body. He’s burning through that fuel faster than he’s traveling and he runs out right on the tracks. No fake-out crash for him. The train mows him down.

Now we see why the cars continue to keep us around: our fingers make us excellent mechanics. Royce’s stricken mother can only wait outside while her baby possibly gets patched up, possibly gets rebuilt as her daughter. Not to worry though, the surgery was a success! Royce leaps with a sudden jump into her loving wheels. (Was a cel lost?) She’s happy he’s still running, but like any good parent, scolds him for disobeying her. Royce doesn’t want to hear it, and runs off to race the next train.

Even though he’s out of speed juice, he makes it through unscathed. (Just ignore his bandage disappearing and reappearing. I’ll notice it for you.) He taunts, unaware that he’s on more tracks. And he’s mowed down again. This time it really is a fake-out! Those mechanics have earned another week of life, seeing as how the train ends up looking like I expect Royce did earlier.

Favorite Part: Royce encounters a road hog when racing the train. It’s a literal pig. Only adds more confusion to what this world is, but I like swine.

Personal Rating: 2. The world is still weird! And isn’t even able to function without humans, so the immersion kind of shatters for me. Not to mention the cars uncanny appearance when they walk. I gave it an extra point for the imagination it did have, and the mom car. Royce doesn’t deserve her.

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Calling Dr. Porky

“This’ll fix you up.”

Porky knows the bear facts.

Supervision by I. Freleng; Animation by Herman Cohen; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on September 21, 1940.

In the past, Porky had terrible luck with hospitals. Whether he need medical attention or not, he’d wind up with some looney trying to saw open his stomach without anesthesia. His choices were either never see a doctor again, or get his own M.D. and show them how it’s done. I think you know what he went with.

New Rightus hospital is a great place! And I’m not just saying that because I break my leg constantly to stay in the same building my beloved buddy works. I’m saying it because they capitalize on space by sticking patients in file cabinets. If all you’re going to do here is lay around, you don’t get to complain about lodgings. Shut up and heal.

Our latest patient looks like a waste of canine space, but he’s got a real condition: a disappearing collar! And a hangover. This doesn’t really sound like our jurisdiction, but Dr. Porky never turns anyone anyway when they are in need. And he can fit many patients in a single day because he cures people the same way Mario does: pills. I don’t know what the ‘Pink pills’ do, but boy are they tasty! He’ll see the drunkard, now named Dru, and the nurse sends him to the proper room.

He is not alone. As one should expect in cartoons, being pixilatedly plastered presents a person with a petite, pink, proboscidean, poltergeist posse. And yeah, they’re unnerving me. Maybe its because they’re ghostly transparent, or because they’re stalking somebody. Dru isn’t happy to have them around, but he can’t escape them, so he might as well let them tag along. Of course, once he gets the doctor’s attention, he devolves into a terrified, blubbering mess.

Porky has seen this all before, so he knows exactly how to remedy the situation. All Dru has to do is sit down and wait. Then, guess who shows up. Right. It’s Pinky, Pinkey and Pinkquay. They’re sporting medical hats now because they’ve outgrown their cute innocent baby phase. Now, they’ve come to torment. As if doctors aren’t already scary enough. They belay instructions for Dru to follow, and he does because, what other choice does he have? Angering them could cause them to evolve into their final form. You don’t want to see that.

Their poking, prodding, pestering and pulverizing has led them to the only viable solution to save Dru’s life: operation. Not the annoying board game, the real kind with saws and organs. It’s in their best interest too, because they only exist as long as Dru is alive. (There’s an idea for a short film: a drunken hallucination trying to make the short time they’re alive awesome.) Once he’s in the operating chair, they can get down to brass tacks.

First: question time. Treating him like he’s on trial, they ask everything; not caring if they get any answer. We don’t find out where Dru lives, or his marital status or even his name. I was really looking forward to finding out who he voted for too. You know, I think the little gremlins are messing him for their own amusement. Any sympathies fall on deaf ears and are returned with mockery and laughter. They sound like rumors mixed with Tress Macneille. Combined with their diabolically, evil faces… yeah, they’re unnerving me. I’d be screaming for Porky along with Dru, too.

Lucky timing. The cure is ready! And if you had any doubts, they should dissipate along with those fuchsia freaks. Dru is back to how he was meant to be: sober, confident, well groomed. (Are you allowed to call someone that anymore?) He leaves the hospital ready to face the world. And the world spits in his eye. There’s a circus parade outside, and guess who is at the end of the parade of elephants. They had to go somewhere! Dru runs back to the comforts of New Rightus, vowing to never again step foot outside into the cruel, cold, uncaring world.

He hops in bed, only for those pinker stinkers to throw him out. They’re just not his problem anymore.

Favorite Part: You gotta love how even Dru’s stupor stooges wince at his brew breath.

Personal Rating: 2. I applaud for making those drunken terrors look more non-corporeal, but being in grayscale makes them blend into the backgrounds more often than not. It almost makes he want to recommend the ugly recoloring version, and I feel like I should cut out my tongue and eat it for saying so. Porky barely features as well.

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It’s Nice to have a Mouse around the House

“Justh let resth a moment, mother.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Co-Director: Hawley Pratt; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Don Williams, Bob Matz, and Norm McCabe; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc and George Pearson; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on January 16, 1965.

I don’t like that title. Too clunky. As opposed to ‘klunky’, which is something in the style of klunks. (A ‘klunk’ is someone or something that does something klunky.)

Speedy is the titular mouse and it feels odd to see him in a modern ’60’s American house. I’m so used to him dwelling in Mexico or a pizzeria. Sylvester gives chase like any cat would, but Speedy leads the chase onto the backyard pool’s diving board, and underneath. Sylvester can’t copycat that, giving Speedy the opportunity to sneak behind and “Yee-ha!” him into the pool. Granny, (marking the only time she encountered Speedy) decides that an exterminator will have to take things over from here.

Jet Age pest control sends over their best duck. Second, actually. The first best was delicious. Thus starting off the Daffy/Speedy match-ups. He’s a bit surprised to hear Granny is having problems with mouse, rather than mice, but she tells him to take a look at her cat and decide what the rodent is capable of. Sylvester is having a nervous breakdown, so Granny is going to take him out of the picture and to the vet. Neatly removing him from the series. (Barring three exceptions.)

Daffy uses a stethoscope to determine the beast’s location. Speedy shouts through it, and Daffy is sent through the ceiling. Found him, then? (A ceiling chunk disappears.) Time to lure the prey out via “Approach B”. Was “A” just reaching in with your hand and banking on the fact you could crush his skeleton? This approach is pretty straightforward: cheese. But Daffy goes the extra mile by setting up a candlelight dinner complete with hue altering chair. Speedy arrives, and Daffy nets him.

Sylvester left too soon! They could have compared notes! He could have told Daffy this method doesn’t work. Let’s approach ‘C’, shall we? Plan ‘C’, that is. (Why is this one a plan?) Glue traps work wonders. And there’s nothing sadistic about making an animal slowly starve to death. It’s adorable to see their strength fail, right? (If you’re reading this dad, I’m still upset about the spider traps you used to place in my room.) Before Daffy can get another cheese lure, Speedy “Yee-ha’s” him onto the ceiling. But not before Daffy can make the right side of his bill that looks like a cheek turn black.

Daffy returns to his manual, reading silently so we’ll never know if ‘D’ if an approach, plan, attack, or order. But the animators get to reuse some animation and cut another cost: poor Mel. The scheme is using vacuum power to slurp up Speedy. Daffy riding it, of all things. (I wish I could do that.) The mouse gets to reuse some of his animation as well, and Daffy rides into the pool. The suction takes all the water, which is more than the bag can handle. It explodes, and Daffy crashes into the now empty pool.

Time for a new tactic! This is the surefire one! A machine that will dispose of whatever you want. You just insert a photo of your target. The one Daffy has changes slightly based on how far the camera is. Going from Honeymouser to Mickey clone. Speedy is rightfully fearful, but he has an ace on him. It turns out Granny has a subscription to Daffy Duck Comics and the machine doesn’t need to eject a current photo to pursue a new target. Daffy is chased throughout town, while Speedy title drops. Do you think his line, or the title was written first?

Favorite Part: During this era, you really have to expect gags to be simpler. It makes a charming miracle when Daffy doesn’t just end up hanging from the ceiling, but falls onto the glue below, gets “Yee-ha’d” back to the ceiling, before he and the chunk he’s stuck to fall down again.

Personal Rating: 2. Who else would have feasibly fit the exterminator role? Elmer? Porky? I guess Daffy was the right choice. (Yes, I know Freleng’s studio was limited on which characters they were allowed to use.)

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Person to Bunny

“It ain’t much of a hutch, but it’s home.”

Bugsy pal! There’s a friend here to see ya!

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Art Davis, Gerry Chiniquy, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 1, 1960.

(Not gonna lie. I always get this one confused with “People are Bunny“.)

Person to Person with Edward Murrow will not be airing today. His poor, unloved brother, Edward Burrows, really wanted a chance to host a show and we couldn’t say no to his face. He looks like a quoll, and they can get away with anything. (In case you’re wondering, his last name is different because he’s adopted.) It might not be a good idea from a business standpoint, but he knows how to do it: interview somebody that is known the world over. How about the biggest rabbit in show biz, Bugs?

Bugs accepts, and his hole is now littered with studio lights and cameras. Two-way cameras, it seems. Bugs can see his interviewer even if we can’t. (Well, you can’t. I already described what he looks like.) The interview has barely started when Daffy comes knocking at the door. He seems to have been unaware of Bugs’s day, but, no, he’s probably just being coy. This is being broadcast live, isn’t it? And he tells Burrows that he watches the show. It all adds up.

Surprisingly, Bugs isn’t having it today. He almost never loses his cool with Daffy. Least not so early in the cartoon. Perhaps because the duck is footage-bombing this time? He drags him out, much to Daffy’s chagrin. First question for Bugs: how is he able to outwit someone as intelligent; as brainy; as genius as Elmer J. Fudd? Bugs is blunt. He claims that Fudd is none of those things. In fact, his exact words are that “His I.Q. is P.U.” That’s a really good jab. If my autistic brain would let me say “P.U.” out loud, I’d be using it.

Daffy isn’t the only fan of the show. Elmer saw and heard the whole thing and isn’t happy. He arrives as Bugs’s place calling him to appear, or be labeled a coward. Sounds serious. Bugs puts things on hold to handle this, giving Daffy a chance to go ham in Burrow’s off screen face. Elmer demands an apology. And, yeah, he kind of deserves it. Isn’t this short suggesting that they are aware they are co-stars making pictures together? Is Bugs always so hostile off the set? I used to look up to you, man. Er, lagomorph.

Bugs sticks to his guns by plugging Elmer’s with his carrot. Going back down, he finds what Daffy has been up to. With Elmer right outside the door, Bugs attempts to kill one bird with one stone by suggesting Daffy perform in front of the zoom-r lens. Being Fudd’s rifle, Daffy gets his beak bent for the umpteenth time. Unamused, Daffy claims that Bugs isn’t special. Anyone could do his shtick if they have a rabbit outfit and a carrot. He demonstrates, and Elmer mistakes him for the real thing.

Daffy corrects the mistake, and Bugs leads Elmer off his property in a chase. Once again, Daffy takes the spotlight. This time to reuse some footage from “Show Biz Bugs”. Bugs gets rid of Elmer with one of his best gags that we haven’t seen since “The Big Snooze“. The one where Elmer chases him through a log, and Bugs pushes one of its ends over a cliff. Sadly, they don’t go all the way. Elmer just sits in the log confused after the second attempt. That’s not nearly as funny. And the opposite of comedy is tragedy, so I guess you better start crying.

Back home, Bugs once again finds Daffy was actually calling the kettle black when he called Bugs a camera hog. Bugs decides that the only way to get rid of him is to let him perform. Daffy is delighted and asks if his friends will see him. What friends? Porky? Or….

Do you mean Porky?

Bugs lets him know that his friends are just a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the people who will be watching. The normal viewing audience for this show is at minimum four million. Since Bugs gets to act different today, Daffy demands he get to as well. He faints upon hearing that number. Too bad we’re out of time. I didn’t get to ask Bugs my question. (Do you have any footage for “Bye, Bye, Bunny” that I can view?)

Favorite Part: When Daffy’s bill is bent upward. Not only does he look super pissed, but his voice sounds all muffly. And speaking of voices…

Personal Rating: 3

Actually, I was going to ask that you take off your hats in reverence for the last time we would hear Arthur Q. Bryan’s perform as Fudd. He was sadly dead by the time this one came out, and we’ve never had a better performance. (Though, I always thought Billy West came the closest.)

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Bugsy and Mugsy

“Now you’re mad at me again.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Gerry Chiniquy and Art Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Boris Gorelick; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling and Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on August 31, 1957.

You may remember that I had problems with “S.4A.M.” But that’s okay because when Fred visited me back in 2011, I made sure to tell him to tell Friz that if he should ever direct a short like that, he should remake it seven years later. Thus, our current timeline. Sure, it changed history to make it so any attempts at saving Lonesome George were futile, but in the end wasn’t it worth it? No, but at least this picture fixed its predecessor’s problems.

Heavy rainfall has caused Bugs to take temporary leave of his burrow and relocate to the drier confines of an abandoned building. But only abandoned for so long, as Rocky and Mugsy decide to use this place as  a hideout while the cops hunt. All-around good guy and advocate for anybody suffering from karat theft, Bugs takes it upon himself to teach the scoundrels a thing or… actually, he’ll stick with that one thing. Crime doesn’t pay, buckos. Get ready for a hardcore teaching.

While the thieves sleep, Bugs places a phone speaker near Rocky and berates his naivety. Really? You’d leave all those jewels laying around with Mugsy right there on the couch? He may act dumb, but he can get ideas. Rocky slaps the big guy around for that, despite Mugsy’s claim that he doesn’t get ideas. His brain isn’t that developed. Rocky may act placated, but once you plant a doubt seed, it doesn’t die. I suppose you could send a doubt gopher after it, but those don’t move out.

To fertilize that seed, Bugs plants an axe in the sleeping Mugsy’s grasp and warns Rocky that falling asleep wouldn’t be very conducive to survival at this point. The boss gets the weapon and takes the first swipe. Good thing Mugsy gets this kind of abuse on a daily basis. He sees Rocky’s action as nothing more than a joke, but still needs to wear his replacement hat from now on. He’s also a little jumpy from here on out. (Good attention to detail keeping the couch still busted in the next scene.)

Bugs next begins to unscrew a chandelier over Rocky who I’m surprised could fall asleep by this point. Burglary must really take it out of you. (That would explain why the Hamburglar slept for about 20 years.) Mugsy notices this and rushes to get a screwdriver of his own. (Oh. The couch is repaired now. Never mind. This cartoon is ruined.) He gets in place just as Bugs finishes. What a terrible spot to be found in without context.

To put his mind at ease, Rocky hogties Mugsy, and throws him into a different room. Still, those nerves will be jumpy for the rest of the night I’d wager. He catches sight of the saw cutting through the floor at this feet, and Bugs puts the offending article in Mugsy’s grasp. There’s pretty much no way he could explain himself now. Not that’d he do a very articulate job, anyway. The damage is done, and Rocky refuses to sleep anymore. Time to finish things up.

Bugs fits Mugs with some skates, and controls him via horseshoe magnet. He tugs the big lug into Rocky’s mug, who punches him back. So Bugs keeps it up. So Rocky keeps it up. This creates a lot of noise, and it’s not long before the popo pulls up. On their way to jail/prison, Rocky wonders how they were ever found out. Noise, sure, but it was an abando building. Those things always have creepy unexplained noises lurking within. (My money’s on doubt gophers.) It wasn’t brilliant detective work; Bugs labeled the place as their hideout in light-up letters and neon trim. Very artsy.

Favorite Part: A good rule of comedy is to have a quiet character make a drastic shift in volume. Rocky does this when he catches Mugsy with the saw. “I don’t know how youse done it, but I know YOUSE DONE IT!”

Personal Rating: First, why I think this short improves on its forebear. First: The two made to break up are criminals, so they kind of deserve to be punished. Wait, no ‘kind of’. The real world should really adhere to that. Second: There’s no beautiful friendship that Bugs is ruining, despite what Mugsy thinks. Rocky does not see him as an equal. Third: In this short’s continuity, they haven’t met Bugs yet, so I’m not asking why they wouldn’t think he might be behind everything. Improvements across the board. 3.

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Yankee Doodle Bugs

“You’d better hop along, Cassidy.”

There’s no use changing the history books for little ole him.

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animatin by Art Davis, Manuel Perez, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on August 28, 1954.

As animated series like “School House Rock”, “The Magic School Bus”, and “Animaland” can attest, learning doesn’t have to suck. Therefore, I for one propose that Bugs teach us about American History. Because the country’s birthiversary is this upcoming week, and if you don’t know anything about who/what you’re celebrating, then brother, you’re hardly celebrating at all.

It starts when his nephew, Clyde is struggling to learn about the past. (I’ve discussed Clyde before, but this is his final theatrical appearance.) Wouldn’t be that much of a big deal, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s going to have a test on the subject later today. (That and his books blend into the carpet.) Bugs offers to help. (Clyde: “Do you *half a second pause* know about American history, Uncle Bugs?”) Turns out history is loaded with rabbits. They’ve been involved with Columbus, Napoleon, Nazi Germany, The 1943 Oscars, and the invention of gunpowder. You can quote me on this because I’m a valuable resource.

Bugs starts when the Dutch bought New York for a song. And I mean that in the punniest fashion. The Native Chief got a really good deal. Then pretty much nothing happened for over a hundred years until Benjamin Franklin *clears throat* “discovered” electricity. It was all thanks to the rabbit who held his kite just as lightning struck it. Ben took the credit, because taking the credit is mankind’s greatest invention.

Then a war was set to happen because The King put tacks on the tea. (Punniest. Way.) This could not be stood for, so an army was drafted. The backgrounds have a U.P.A. minimalistic design that goes all the way when we get to George Washington. They’re so minimal, that they cease to exist! Don’t walk into the void, George! It’s probably dangerous! I don’t see any food, for one thing. Wait. He’s fine. It’ll be a bit of a struggle to leave his candy shop, but his wife will just have to handle it herself until he wins independence.

If this is going to be its own country, it’s going to need a flag. A woman named Betsy Ross was assigned the task of sewing it up. She’s got six red stripes that represents all the blood that will be spillt, five white ones that represent the skin tone of the generals, and a blue section that is supposed to be the ocean, which the country will be surrounded by, some day. A rabbit gave her the idea for a finishing touch after he stepped on a rake and saw ten stars. Never having learned to count, she added thirteen.

It was a bitter fight. Cold winters made ice cream men enemies of the sate. What have we become? War truly changes a man. Eventually though, the enemy fleet was bottled up. (Pun. Knee. Est.) Once Washington crossed the Delaware River, victory was won. Simple as that. And that was pretty much everything that happened between then and 1954. This is a very boring country. The next thing worth noting would be Disneyland opening the following year.

Perfect timing! The school bell is chiming and Clyde’s got a test to ace. Bugs is such a good uncle. A guncle, if you will. When school lets out, Clyde comes back angrily glaring. It’s quite funny. Bugs can’t figure out why he’d be scowling like this, so Clyde spells it out for him: D-U-N-C-E C-A-P. I’m sorry kid, but penmanship counts.

Favorite Part: The king is really getting his jollies when he puts tacks on the tea. It’s good to see leaders put the riot in dictator.

Personal Rating: 2. I did say punniest, rather than funniest. I just don’t feel like the jokes were powerful enough. They could have gone farther, but then I guess it would have ended with Clyde getting sent to Special Ed. (Because that’s how they’d handle it at the time, thank you.)

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Mr. and Mrs. is the Name

♫”Mr. and Mrs. is the name!”♫

Supervision by  Isadore Freleng; Animation by Ben Clopton and Cal Dalton; Music by Bernard Brown. A Merrie Melody released on January 19, 1935.

There’s an island that none of humanity knows about where merpeople live. A predominately female species, that doesn’t have the same rules of modesty that we have. That is awesome for people who are attracted to things like this, but it makes perfect sense, too. Are those actually mammary glands? Are they egg sacs? We’re not given an answer because it’s not important. Though, someone really should put together concrete merperson (or merson) anatomy rules.

From other observations, it’s clear that if they are related to fish, it would the be the lobe-finned kind. They can stand on their fins most comfortably. Sure, they have a narrow stance, and waddle, but this means merfolk are actually amphibians. The larvae probably have no hands when they hatch, and feathery gills. Or not, seeing as our short is going to focus on two of the young ones, and they look the opposite of what I described. Let’s all agree with me and call the more “endowed” ones their mothers, and they are using siren songs to crash ships and get some sailor meat for dinner.

Our two leads are basically Buddy and one of the myriad Cookie designs. (The blonde one.) They’re great friends and love a good game of tag that can be played in three dimensions. I call them Mercer and May, and you can do likewise. Otherwise, you can write your own blog. Mercer tags May really hard on her rump. I won’t deny that probably hurts, but, the merson anatomy still boggles and confounds. Would the anus be located there? Or closer to the fins? What I’m saying is: if he was older, could she claim sexual harassment, or just plain violence?

I’m not joking about overreacting, as May stomps off in a huff. Male mersons are just too rough, and that’s why they’re driven away from the schools upon reaching sexual maturity. Mercer is able to get her to come back when he finds one of the ships his mom helped sink is still laden with material goods. Females are females, and May is smitten with the chest of jewels. Mercer is more interested in the old clothes and makes a costume with which to do a Chaplin impression. He knows who that is because when you eat a human, you gain everything in their brain. Don’t try it yourself.

While they have their fun, the ocean continues to be a dangerous place. Today’s featured threat is named Otto. He grabs May and I know what we’re all equating this to. Tentacles and a minor do not lend themselves to any pleasant ideas. But, I’ve got a crazy idea, maybe he just wants to eat her? I mean, he is a predator, right? Wow. Digging myself deeper is way easier than I imagined. Mercer is on his way, and Otto speeds up when he remembers he has a siphon. Like in a lot of cartoons, it and his mouth have switched places. It being acknowledged at all is still impressive.

While Mercer plays catch-up by tying an electric fan to himself, May does her part by hitting Otto with a fish skeleton. She doesn’t actually try to escape, or fight back more, but she does get grabbed again. That was all very pointless, but it filled up some run-time. Mercer arrives shortly after, but the octopus reminds him why they call him One-punch Otto. He reminds him more than 24 times, but I can’t count the correct amount. Nor am I even sure I can count that high. He then traps the young merson underneath him. If his mouth was down there, he could win. Instead, Mercer pokes him in his siphon.

The maddened moullusk chases him into a pipe, but since his mouth is bigger than it, he struggles to get through. Mercer traps him by tying his tentacles in knots. I spot one changing color, but that’s scientifically accurate. Now, they can torture him. There’s a piece of ship mast in here tied to something I’m sure, that the two kids can swing into his head until he starves or rips his limbs off. In the meantime, May rewards her hero with a kiss. The title was prophetic.

Favorite Part: A new twist on an old pun. In the ship, you can see Davy Jones’ FOOT locker.

Personal Rating: 2

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Crow’s Feat

“You mad, Jose?”

Isn’t he too young to go kaboom?

Directed by Friz Freleng; Co-Director: Hawley Pratt; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Virgil Ross, Bob Matz, Lee Halpern, and Art Leonardi; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 21, 1962.

It’s the return of Jose and Manuel I promised! But remember: I didn’t promise anything spectacular.

The two really are on route to Guadalajara this time, but flights are rough as they dare to fly at the same altitudes as airplanes. Or the planes are flying dangerously close to the ground. Bottom line: someone is flying at the wrong height, and it’s not me. It may be lazy, but I don’t fault them for hitching aboard the tequila flight, adopting their favorite lounge positions, and letting technology take them where they want to go. They may not sound or act like it, but they’ve got a bit of the crow’s natural intelligence.

They hop off early upon seeing what lays below them: corn! The San Franciscrow treat! Upon reaching the golden fields, they turn tail feather and run from their natural rival: a scarecrow. As is typical of those guys, he doesn’t give chase. Jose declares HE must fear THEM. Just to be safe, though, he tells Manuel to taunt it. Seeing them on screen together reveals that it’s a puny scarecrow. Or maybe their just crows of unusual size? Bottom line: someone is at the wrong scale, and it’s not me.

It is a familiar looking scarecrow, too. Jose recognizes him as that guy in the moving pictures who hunts Bugs Conejo. If you don’t fear what you don’t like, kill it. Manuel is very adapt at using sticks. For fun, Jose puts on the s-crow’s hat and pretends be that guy in the moving pictures. Since he doesn’t have as iconic a catchphrase as Bugs, he spouts some “What’s up, docs?”. If it looks like a hunter, Manuel will stick it to him. Oddly, they both know what scarecrows are, so why were they shocked one wasn’t chasing them? Have they been to Oz? Or did they also catch this at the drive-in:

Hey look! It really IS that guy from the moving pictures! Ironically, making his last appearance in them. The fact is lost on Jose who thinks the scarecrow just came back for a rematch. And what do you mean “You’re” gonna knock his stuffing out again? What have I told you about taking credit for Manuel’s accomplishments? He gets shot, and decides Manuel deserves the same treatment. He baits his buddy into getting closer by saying the scarecrow is disrespecting him. Since that guy is about to retire, he gets to be the clear-cut victor this week.

Disguises fail, and that guy is smart enough to make the two think he’s left the premises, so he can booby trap the stalks. The whole time, they still think he’s a scarecrow. If only he’d prove he’s not by talking. Jose ultimately decides to they should just resume their trip, as there are stupid scarecrows in Guadalajara. Is that just where we put all the stupids in the world? Then why are we allowing so many to run around free? Ethics, schmethics. It’s for everybodies own good. (And I could still blog there.)

They decide to make use of aeronautics again. Manuel says the thing they’re on now is a commercial plane. Any reason why you’d be asking Manuel to explain things, Jose? I thought you had the brains. They eagerly await takeoff, unaware that they’re sitting on a rocket ship. (Ah! Jose! Your eye is in your beak!) The film ends just as the countdown does, so we don’t get to see them die. It’s the only explanation for why they never got a third cartoon.

Favorite Part: Manuel calling Bugs his friend. It’s as cute as when a child says they’re friends with Elmo. Or when a 30-year old blogger claims the same with Porky. (Oh lord, am I really that age? I never intended to be.)

Personal Rating: 2

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Why do I Dream those Dreams?

“Go lay down!”

Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Robert McKimson; Music by Norman Spencer. A Merrie Melody released on June 30, 1934.

You mean the ones where I willingly choose to go to work stark nude and nobody notices? I think that’s me subconsciously admitting how invisible I feel, and how desperately I want to be noticed. And now for our featured attraction.

A disturbance of an occurrence is going down at the Van Winkle house. Rip and the dog are being thrown out by the Mrs. If you speak Chip/Dale, you can learn her reasons. Mine’s a bit rusty, but it sounds like not wiping his feet was the last straw. He’s also a lazy good-for-less-than-nothing, and his dog isn’t much better. They can go live in the forest for all she cares. And… she left her socks in the gerenuk? Well, that’s on you, lady.

Rip’s easy going. He just crosses his name off the property, takes his gun and color changing hat, and heads off to get whatever life gives him. His dog follows because dog’s are good and loyal and won’t stop being your friend even if your autistic brain made you not realize the severity of your words and now you’re not even able to apologize. And… so are the… children. … Are you on… uh, “good” terms with these children? I’m not allowed to see minors follow men with guns.

Ah. They were just seeing him off. *Relieved sigh* And it turns out his gun is only for decoration/is the only possession in his name. He’s really a fisherman; and he found a way to make that easier. He puts his bait on a mousetrap that’s tied to the pole. And I gotta know: do you think that would work? If I hadn’t taken a vow to never kill any of my animal friends, I’d go try it right now. Honest I would!

Fittingly enough for a Van Winkle, Rip falls asleep. The merry little dwarfs that didn’t get a callback from Walt are nearby. They’re just doing whatever fictional, non-human dwarfs do. Drink, dance, be merry and little, and drink. You’re not a true dwarf if you don’t have a beer gut. When they notice Rip, they all gather for a closer look/try to rob him. Unfortunately, I can’t find a good enough print of the short that clues me into the objects in his pocket that makes the little guys laugh. Are they receipts? A list of debt collectors? Porn? One of those candy wrappers that have “jokes” printed on them?

Screwing around with his gun fires it, and he wakes. They dart back home, but the damage is done: Rip is aware of their settlement. Good thing he doesn’t give a crap about learning about a secret society unknown by humankind. He’s just going to help himself to their kegs. At his scale, they’re little more than a pint. What they’re not is ‘meant for human consumption’. That drink makes dwarfs out of thin dwarfs, so it is for him.

His dog finds him, and is as loyal and good as I promised. Plus, Rip still smells like Rip, so it must be Rip. The problem is that the dog is so much more powerful in comparison now. You could drown in his tongue, and your spine would snap if he tried to leap on you. Rip escapes death by love by riding a realistically drawn grasshopper. Well, it was, until Rip got his Toon germs on it. Riding grasshoppers is nothing I’ve ever thought about, but now; can anyone loan me some dwarf ale?

The insect bucks him off into a spider’s web. And it’s not abandoned. And that’s not a spider, unless it’s back legs haven’t grown back yet. Either way, it’s hungry. But don’t worry, after the venom is injected, you won’t feel a thing. This dream was made possible by the fact that Rip’s been asleep for some time now, and spiders have built webs around him. Spider love being in close contact with human beings. More of you should be as happy to see them as I am. I’m banning you from returning until you do.

I can’t fathom the exact number of years he slept. Is that his dog? Or one of his dog’s descendants? Actually, those are them over there. Joke or not, why does Rip tell him off? For taking them away from their mother? Actually, maybe this is the mother. In which case… how dare she get knocked up? Don’t tell people that!

Favorite Part: The dog going back to old bag Winkle just to blow a raspberry. Loyal, good, friendly, cute, why would anyone need a wife? (Answer: Dog’s normally don’t last into your 80’s.)

Personal Rating: 1. Feels a bit scattered. It’s about Van Winkle. No, it’s about the dwarfs. Nah, it’s about Shrinkle Winkle! Actually, it’s about over.

Now, if you’ll excuse me/speaking of dreams, I’m going to go pretend I live in a world where “Coyote Vs Acme” will be released. *Learns what Ketchup Entertainment is going to be releasing next year* For the love of all that is holy: DON’T EVER WAKE ME UP FROM THIS DREAM!!!!!!!