Category: Looney Tunes

Cartoons that were labeled as “Looney Tunes.”

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Forward March Hare

“Holy Cats! I’ve been drafted!”

Have I got your attention?

Directed by Chuck Jones.

As the mailman makes his rounds, he delivers a letter to one Bertram Bonny. But as he pulls away, the exhaust from his vehicle causes the letter to fly towards a different house. Namely, one that belongs to Bugs Bunny. Taking the letter, he finds out America wants him! (Despite the fact he already was the only toon to actually be part of our armies.) He arrives at boot camp and goes to take his physical. AUGH! Too much nude! I have no desire to see that much exposed man-flesh. It’s nasty. (The guy behind Bugs is so messed up, his hair changes colors.)

Bugs shocks the doctor who runs the x-ray, and scores perfect on the vision test, reading everything on it. (All those carrots really helped.) He gets his uniform and joins the ranks, introducing himself as Private Bugs Bunny to his superiors. The sergeant (who I think is voiced by John T. Smith, voice of the Crusher) sarcastically says he is Porky Pig. (Don’t flatter yourself pal.) Perhaps he should have done that out of earshot of HIS superior, Colonel Putty Tat. (Apparently General Tweety has been asking about him, too.)

He is forced to make Bugs go on a long hike. (And is down a stripe.) Returning to Camp Ono, (Laugh) Bugs takes a bath in a helmet. It belongs to the Colonel and when he puts it on, he takes another stripe from Smith. (Gasp! He’s smoking! We better edit that out because people are stupid enough to do exactly what cartoons do.) Smith tells Bugs to clean and dress the chickens for dinner tonight. (The army makes you do that?) Bugs takes him literally. (What classy Roosters. All hoping to be nominated for the year of the rooster, no doubt)

Bugs next uses a bomb to hammer up a poster, blowing up himself and launching the shell to the colonel. Down to his last stripe, Smith asks why Bugs won’t listen to him. He has ears… really long ears. Gasp! Private Bugs Bunny this whole time was really: Bugs Bunny! Bugs is told that rabbits just aren’t meant to join the army. (Species-ist.) But they do have a job Bugs can do: testing all the bombs for the duds. Only 30 more years til retirement!

Personal Rating: 4

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Mississippi Hare

♪Camptown races sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah…♪

Directed by Charles M. Jones

This short gets censored a lot because of scenes that apparently scream racism. It starts in a cotton field where Bugs is napping. Apparently this is bad, because those are African Americans harvesting it. Well, we don’t see any definitive proof that they aren’t being paid, so it might be relatively harmless, but I digress. He gets packed with the cotton on a riverboat and he climbs out of the hold to see where he is.

He notices that this boat throws off stowaways. Dashing into a cabin, Bugs dresses as a gentleman and shows off the ticket, that I guess was in the room. Secure, he takes a look around. He comes across a gentleman named Colonel Shuffle. (Jone’s take at directing a Yosemite Sam character.) He is voiced by Billy Bletcher and demands for someone to try and beat him in poker. Bugs takes the challenge and bets $100.00 in chips. (Which is half a chip. Ha) Fade out.

Fade in, and see that Bugs has all the chips, and Shuffle has the half chip. With A’s in his eyes, he shows his hand, but Bugs’s is better and he wins it all. He flat out calls Shuffle a jack@$$, (Well, Shuffle did ask for it) and the colonel declares a duel. Bugs walks with him and misses the shots. He shoves an exploding cigar in his mouth, and gives him a banjo to play. (“Racist” part 2. That is apparently blackface on Shuffle. Or you know, ASHface.) Bugs has him dance off the boat and he comes back up with the wheel.

He tries to fire his gun but liquid comes out. It must be a *dons shades* water pistol. Anyways, Bugs disguises as a barker and gets him to enter a show, which is really just a one way trip back into the drink. When he aims again Bugs tells him it’s still full of water and Shuffle checks by shooting himself. Bugs tricks him into the boiler and Shuffle desperately tries to buy a cup of water to put out the fire. He asks Bugs for change and Bugs takes his sweet time. Finally giving it, Shuffle gets the water, and begins firing again immdiately. (Smart. Elmer would’ve walked off before remembering his task at hand.)

Bugs relies on his drag routine and beats Shuffle with a parasol. His wig briefly comes off and Shuffle chases again. Bugs pleads with a much taller man to help him, and Shuffle is tossed off the boat for good. The man comes back to flirt with Bugs and sees his tail. He throws himself off too.

Personal Rating: 3

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Operation: Rabbit

“Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Wile E. Coyote. Genius.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

I’m always amazed about how few people know that Wile E. appeared with Bugs and that he spoke. This is actually one of the first Looney Tune shorts I recall watching. Heck, this was Wile E’s second appearance, so he had no real standard yet. But his other role would catch on far more so, leaving the other in obscurity. (This is a phenomenon that I call “Zelda 2 syndrome”.) Wile E. starts the short by flat out telling Bugs he is going to eat him, and that since he is a genius, Bugs might as well give up. Bugs is not fazed and just leaves. Wile E. begins his plans. (It’s hard for us geniuses. No one wants to appreciate us while we’re alive.)

Plan 1 is a pressure cooker he puts over Bug’s hole. When Bugs tells him that there is no rabbit in there, Wile E. checks and Bugs traps him under it. Then he clubs him. Plan 2. Wile E. has a cannon with al ot of pipes to launch a cannonball right into Bug’s home. Bugs has more pipe and sends it right back. While working on plan 3, Wile E. finds Bugs at his door announcing his decision to give up. He just needs a witness to sign his will, and offers his predator a pen. (TNT) Wile E. is happy to oblige and just puts out the fuse. That proves he is a genius. Elmer and Sam would have fallen for that. And no one, not the first time anyway, sees the second fuse on the other end. BOOM!

Plan 3 involves an explosive rabbit decoy. Wile E. turns it on  in his house (for some reason) when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a female coyote. She’s a decoy, but Wile E. is too smitten to notice. (Tells her how lucky she is marrying a genius. Love his ego.) Bugs detonates her and before Wile E. can get rid of it, the bunny blows up too. Plan 4 has a UFO that homes in on targets and explodes. He sets it to rabbit, but Bugs wears a chicken mask to confuse it. He writes coyote on the side and sends it back. Now without his cave, Wile E. plans in an explosives shed. He fills carrots with nitroglycerin not realizing Bugs is towing him onto train tracks. Boom again! Giving up, he introduces himself to Bugs as mud. “And remember.” says Bugs. “Mud spelled backwards is dum.” (Well what do you know? It is!)

Personal Rating: 4

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The Grey Hounded Hare

“What? Dogs chasing that cute little bunny?”

Directed by Robert McKimson.

Bug’s comes out from under a greyhound race track and decides to check it out. He takes a peak over the dogs. (They all look dead to me. They’re not moving) He likes the look of number 7. (Named Gnawbone) He doesn’t bet however, and just goes straight to the track. (The dog named “Granpas Folly” has scratched odds. Literally) They release the mechanical rabbit the dogs chase, and Bugs falls for “her”. He decides to save her, and starts to remove the dogs.

He gets a large amount of them to follow him to a cab, and has it take them to the pound. (That’s gonna be a lot of money.) Turns out, number 7 stuck around. Bugs tries to get the “lady” to talk to him, but she zooms off. (Just like a woman.) Gnawbone is more interested in chasing her than Bugs, so bugs has to distract him with a rabbit balloon. Then he throws a dynamite stick for him to fetch. Angry, Gnawbone charges like a bull. Bugs gets him to hit a hydrant and the dog surrenders.

Bugs finally get to his goil and gives her a kiss. He is electrified. (Would it really do that?) Believing this to be the start of something grand, Bugs gives her another. Shocking, isn’t it?

Personal Rating: 3

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Roman Legion-Hare

“I gotta find a victim to feed to the lions.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

In ancient Rome, (54 A.D. to be exact,) everyone is eagerly headed to the coliseum to watch people be devoured by lions. (Aren’t humans just wonderful?) Emperor Nero is angry to discover there are no more victims. He tells his captain of the guard (Sam) to get one or be one. Same calls his troops and they go hunting. Enter Bugs, who thinks their march is a parade. When he tells Sam that he’s the only one around, Sam orders his men to catch him.

Bugs easily trips the troops and they are never seen again. Sam chases Bugs in a chariot and passes him. (And flies out when the horse stops.) Grabbing a club, he chases Bugs into the lion holding area, luckily on the opposite of the bars. Sam is annoyed by a roaring lion, and clubs him to shut up. Bugs opens the gate between the two and Sam is pummeled. Chasing Bugs into another room, they find it’s the lions den. (So, why was that other one all alone?) They tiptoe through, but Bugs lowers an alarm clock while Sam is still down there. He’s mauled.

Sam finds Bugs on the other side of a lion pit and goes after him with stilts to be safe. Bugs hands the lions tools to dismantle the stilts. Sam is beaten and we actually see him lose his mask. Bugs tries to escape, but leaves through the door to the arena. Sam gleefully shows the victim and the lions are released. Bugs is terrified, but he shouldn’t be. The lions go straight for the people who forced them to live in tiny, unsanitary, cages. Sam and Nero climb atop a pillar, but the lions chop it down piece by piece. As they lower towards their doom, Nero plays taps on a violin. Desperately hoping that music can soothe several savage beasts.

Personal Rating: 3

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Odor-able Kitty

“Come to my arms little pigeon. Do not be afraid of the love.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

A cat is staring longingly into a butcher shop. He is kicked away. A woman then hits him with her broom. (What was that for? I mean, yeah, I’d do the same thing to a cat.) He is also mauled by a bulldog. He sadly wishes he were a skunk. Nothing bothers those guys. So why not? Not only does he paint himself like one, but he is actually smart enough to rub Limburger, onions and garlic on himself. He goes around scaring his enemies and eating meat to his heart’s content.

Just when things are perfect and “syrene”, a real skunk appears. It’s Pepe’s first role! (His name is based on Pepe le Moko, a character played by Charles Boyer. His voice was what Mel used to base Pepe’s voice on.) He confuses the male cat for a female skunk and the chase begins. Formulaic? Yes. Boring? You insult me! The cat hides in a tree and is instantly found so he runs into town. Taking a stuffed skunk with him. (Okay, I’m pretty sure that people who wear furs, do not keep the whole body. I HOPE they don’t do that.) He hides on a silo and when Pepe comes, the cat (who I’m deciding to name Theodore) says that he will jump if Pepe comes closer. (I guess Theodore’s voice is feminine.)

He throws the decoy and tries to sneak away. Pepe only pretends to mourn and Theodore leaps into a dog’s arms in fright. He then leaps into Pepe’s arms. He hops back to the dog and the dog hops into Pepe’s arms before fainting. Pepe continues on his way and meets Bugs Bunny! Or rather Theodore in a disguise. (Pepe’s sharp.) Theodore runs and Pepe follows with his famous hops. Theodore is tired and passes out quickly. Pepe grabs his prize when he is tapped on his shoulder. It’s his REAL wife. Pepe is really Henry, (not the bear or hawk) and gets pounded by a rolling pin. Theodore sneaks away and washes away his disguise. He happily goes back to is old life of being abused.

Personal Rating: 3

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Steal Wool

“Mornin’ Ralph.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

Good morning! Sam Sheepdog has just woken up and is on his way to work. On the way, he greets his good pal, Ralph Wolf. (Named after one of the story boarders at the time.) They walk together and wish each other luck and take up their positions. Sam begins to guard, Ralph prepares to steal (wool). He crawls under a sheep and carries it away, only to run into Sam, who pounds him. Digging underground, Ralph tries a lasso and unknowingly catches Sam.

He builds a TNT bridge and taunts Sam. Sam crosses and Ralph goes back the other way, lighting the fuse. Sam is already at the other end and demands the sheep Ralph has. Ralph gives and goes back to put out the fuse, unaware that Sam lit his end too. Ralph tries a seesaw to fling Sam away, but the dog is too heavy and Ralph flies into his arms. Sam flings Ralph.

Finally, Ralph gets a giant rubber band, attaches it to two boulders, and pulls back, aiming at Sam. Instead, the boulders come loose and fly after Ralph, who runs between a narrow cliff. The rocks catch on the sides and the band threatens to launch Ralph away. Ralph grabs onto a tree and the rocks finally squeeze through the opening, and Ralph ends up against another cliff, with all the debris smashing into him. Later, as the two pals walk home, (Ralph with a sling and black eye) Sam tells him to take the next day off. He’s been working too hard and Sam can handle both jobs. Ralph thanks his friend and stumbles home.

Personal Rating: 4

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Draftee Daffy

“♪Oh the little man from the dra-aft board is coming to see me!♪”

Directed by Robert Clampett

Daffy is reading the paper and is happy to learn that the U.S. is doing great. (WWII) He dances around and sings patriotic songs. His number is interrupted by a call from the president. The duck’s being drafted. Daffy loses all of his vigor and cries. He tries to keep a look out for the little man who will deliver his letter, but he’s already there. (The little guy is strangely cute. I want a plush toy of him.) Daffy barricades the door and peeks out the upstairs window. He’s there. Daffy puts on a disguise and peeks again. He’s there wearing the same disguise.

Daffy packs up, calls for a flight to the North Pole, and runs to other door of his. The little man is there. Daffy hides in the closet. He’s in there. (Daffy reacts twice to this.) Daffy bolts, leaving the little man with a bomb. The man returns it. After the explosion, Daffy takes drastic measures. He locks the man in a safe, builds a house’s wall around him, and hops on a rocket that is to only be used in case of induction. His ride is a short one and he dies and goes to hell. (For avoiding the draft, I guess.)

Daffy is happy though, as he is rid of the little man. But remember: this is hell. It’s designed to be your worst nightmare. And Daffy’s is having the man around. He chases Daffy (while still holding the letter) into the fiery distance.

Personal Rating: 4

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The Windblown Hare

“Ah! There’s the straw house. Just like the book says.”

Directed by Robert Mckimson

Another year and that means another update. From now on, I list the directors.

The three little pigs are reading their story and find out their dwellings are doomed. They decide to sell the flimsy homes and all live in the brick house. Bugs comes by and decides to buy the hay home. (Despite the fact, he thinks $10.00 is a ripoff.) The wolf comes by, also following the book. He blows the house down much to Bug’s annoyance. Learning his lesson, he decides to buy a sturdier home. Like one of wood. The pigs laugh that he fell for it again, and leave together. (Also Red and Yellow switched shirts for whatever reason.)

When the wolf blows this new house down , Bugs decides it’s payback time. He dons a red riding hood, and tells the wolf to read that story. He does and realizes he’s late, runs to Grandma’s house and kicks her out. (Being too busy to eat her. Which she expects.) Bugs comes in and mentions how “her” certain features are bigger than normal. Adds proof by abusing the lupine. The wolf realizes he’s not Red (The girl, not the pig from earlier.) and Bugs refuses to give him the present he brought. Wolfie begs, and Bugs shoves the cake in his face.

A brief chase (including the gag where two people on stairs continuously switch the lights on and off) and the wolf is beaten. Bugs finds out he was trying to bother the pigs and decides it’s “Payback time part 2: The revenge of the Rabbit.” The wolf says he can’t blow down bricks, but Bugs makes him try. The pigs laugh as they know its fruitless. The wolf tries and succeeds, to his and the pigs amazement. Correction: Bugs helped. With dynamite.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky Pig’s Feat

“Insulting my integrity, eh Fatso!?”

At the “Broken Arms Hotel” Porky is looking over the bill. It costs $152.50. (Dang. If only that were possible today!) He doesn’t have the money, but that’s okay. His (platonic) partner, Daffy, is cashing a check. Or rather, he’s gambling. And he loses it all. He slumps back to the room and hears the manager say he hopes Daffy will have the cash. Insulted, Daffy runs in and shouts several things into the managers face. He challenges Daffy to a duel. More angry, Daffy also challenges him to a duel with a horse shoe full glove.

Down for the count, Daffy grabs Porky, their luggage and runs to the elevator. The manager (I’m calling him Chubs) somehow made it down to the ground floor first, and marches them back to their room. He also says that they will never leave until they pay. Daffy pulls the rug out from under him and he rolls down an eternity of stairs. That doesn’t stop him and he runs right back up. Daffy tries the rug trick again, but Chubs pretends to fall, as to lure Porky and Daffy back out. Daffy finally agrees to pay.

The cost has gone up to include the damages. ($500.62. Still, not bad for today.) Daffy hits him on the head and a chase scene ensues. Chubs chases them to a door, that has endless doors between it and the room. (Plus an Avery-esque sign.) Porky makes a rope and they slide down the window. (Daffy stopping to whistle at a hot chick in a magazine.) At the bottom, a random hand gives Porky a hotfoot. (Who was that? Chubs? Frank Tashlin? Sewer James?) Pokry leaps back up in pain knocking him and Daffy back to their room. (But not before Daffy ogles the woman again.)

Soaking their burned bodies, they find Chubs finally caught up to them, and they make a rope that can swing this time. They end up in another building that Chubs somehow got to, and he swings them back to the “Broken Arms”. Then he barricades them in their room. Months go by and Daffy and Porky are starting to go nuts. (Porky is pretty forgiving, since this is all his platonic partners fault.) I assume they got food, and Chubs is torturing them. He knows they have no money. (Hey look. “Porky loves Petunia”! Adorable!)

Porky suggests that Bugs Bunny could help them. Daffy calls him his hero. (I guess he was a fan until Bugs stole the spotlight.) They call Bugs and ask for help. After suggesting all the things they already tried, Bugs reveals he knew they wouldn’t work. He’s trapped in the next room. (Only appearance in a b/w short, and first time onscreen with Daffy. That’s history in the making!)

Personal Rating: 4