Category: Minor Characters

If a character made between 2-4 appearances during the golden age, then their cartoons can be found in this category.

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Weasel While you Work

“That boy’s as strong as an ox. And just about as smart.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Tom Ray, George Grandpre, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts and Backgrounds by Robert Gribbroek; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by John Seely. A Merrie Melody released on August 6, 1958.

Ah, Winter. A beau… actually, it’s rather ugly. Everything is cold, wet and damp. A peace… actually, the stillness is so pronounced that it could lead to a nervous breakdown. A fu… ACTUALLY, it isn’t fun either! It just makes one tired, listless, and irritable. So why would Foghorn enjoy such a miserable season? Well, it does give him the opportunity to try out some different tricks on old Barnyard Dawg. (Rolling him up into a snowman to be precise.)

Their usual rivalry is cut short by a third party: a weasel. This guy has actually appeared in a  few of Foghorn’s shorts, with this one being his final appearance. He’s pretty much just Taz. Doesn’t say much, salivates at every moment, and desperate for food. Also, he’s tiny! Maybe it’s just how he looks when compared to the giant rooster that is Foghorn, but he looks severely malnourished. Which could also explain his never-ending hunger. (Makes him look less like a mustelid, and more like a shrew.)

Teeny weeny weasel begins gnawing on Foghorn’s leg, but he offers up something even better: venison! (But there’s no deer around. Just the dog… Ohhhhhhh.) Placing a small pair of antlers on the dog is enough to fool the creature, and he tries to feast once more. Dawg automatically knows who is to blame for this, and gets the weasel to change his mind on some chicken for dinner. The dog freezes Foggy in a block of ice and leaves him in the company of the weasel and his axe.

Foghorn escapes that somehow. (I guess it was too boring to waste time animating.) For his next move, he dresses up his adversary as a seal and has the weasel carry him off. (All this talk of gourmet meat is driving my stomach crazy! But with 200 lbs. and counting, I don’t think a snack is such a good idea.) When the dog breaks free, I guess that’s the deciding point, as once the weasel has Foghorn in a pot, he won’t be swayed by any more suggestions. Good thing Foghorn has a giant ice sculpture of himself on standby. (When did he carve that? I’m sure I know why.) Weasel takes the bait and starts eating. (Don’t worry, it’s low calorie.) Foghorn tries to pull one more over on the dog, but the hound foresaw this, and tied a fake tail to a firecracker. So it seems that chickens DO fly when it snows in July!

Favorite part: B.D.’s spelling lesson. R-A-T spells chicken.

Personal Rating: 3

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Goo Goo Goliath

“He’s a heavy one, isn’t he?”

https://www.b98.tv/video/goo-goo-goliath/

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Art Davis, Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 18, 1954.

Time for another delivery, courtesy of the stork. (Did you think babies came from outer space? What idiot told you that?) The bird in charge of the latest baby doesn’t look like he’s the best candidate. Having recently finished one delivery, and given glasses of champagne for his troubles. Nonetheless, he takes his bundle and flies off. It’s a rather large baby, as he is intended for the giant couple who lives at the top of the beanstalk. The inebriated bird gives up by the time he reaches Greentown and opts to just drop the child off at the only pink house located for miles.

Luckily for everyone, the stork’s logic of “never seeing any couple not want a baby” pulls through and our couple (Ethel and John) happily take the kid in. (We’re never explicitly told whether or not they actually were supposed to have a kid) And the majority of this picture is showing the hi-jinks that ensue with a baby who is born large, and soon grows larger.  Bouncing him on your leg will break every bone in said leg, he feasts upon gallons of milk and when he moves on to solid food, it is delivered via cement mixer, and they sidestep any tasteless gags they COULD make by just showing a delivery of a diaper that needs two men to carry. Although I must admit, I’ve always wondered similar things about Clifford the dog. I can’t help it, I’m a zoologist! And going back to that last point, isn’t it a little TOO big? How much is needed? I’m no expert on kids!

Dᴀᴅ? I ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I’ᴍ sɪᴄᴋ.

Just wait it out. If you die, that means you were too weak to survive.

More gags follow. The baby (who does look cute, I’ll give him that. But I’m not naming him. That’s a job for his parents.) gets bathed in the pool, uses tires as teething rings, and can push his dad to work when the car doesn’t start. (I guess it just gets towed home each night?) But babies will be babies, and our outstanding parents leave the gate open one day, so he wanders off on his own. (At least they do have the sense to call the police.) It’s like “Honey, I blew up the kid.” (Going off on another unrelated tangent, that movie annoys me. The kid was a danger to countless people as well as himself! Why shouldn’t people be allowed to tranquilize him? Plus, shooting annoying children is always a plus in my book)

Tʜᴀᴛ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴs ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.

*gunshot*

Despite the fact it’s been several weeks if not months by now, the stork is just BARELY going after the kid. (And apparently is going to keep his job. I bet you could write a fascinating book about the stork’s labor union.) And I think they sneak in a subtle reference to why some people are infertile, as the stork says no more babies are to be delivered until this is fixed. He finds the kid asleep in the arms of lady liberty. Impressively, he manages to hoist the titanic toddler up to his real home. (Mr. Giant has been having to make do with a miniature baby. It’s like trying to raise a Lego figurine.) The stork then finishes up by giving the smaller baby to what his still tipsy body identifies as its new home: a kangaroo. (Despite how slimy it probably is in there, the baby seems happy. What a trooper!)

Personal Rating: 3

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It’s Hummer Time

“I tawt I taw a putty-tat.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Rod Scribner, J.C. Melendez, Charles McKimson, Phil DeLara, and John Carey; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on July 22, 1950.

The plot for this picture: a cat trying to catch a hummingbird of all creatures. (It’s like chasing a chicken nugget. I want a short where a spider tries to catch one of these birds, as flies won’t cut it anymore.) The bird isn’t dumb enough to swim in the birdbath the cat is holding, and flies off after squirting him in the face. The cat (who can also be found in “A Fractured Leghorn” and “Early to Bet.”) gives chase, but ends up sinking his claws into a dog. Much like in the latter of the two shorts up there, the dog subjects the cat to various punishments. Only here, the cat doesn’t get any say in things. First up: being pulled through a hole in a fence.

As the cat hunts with net in hand, the bird flies close to the dogs head. With them both being on one side of a wall, the cat swings but gets the dog. Now he must attend a birthday party for himself. He doesn’t even have to share the cake! (The candles are explosives though) Next, he ties a flower onto a balloon and tries to fish for the bird. Said bird paints the cats face on it and brings it to the dog’s attention. When he pulls the string, the cat reels him in. This earns him a trip down a drain pipe.

Is this really worth all the trouble? Well, given a hummingbird’s diet, I suppose they are the cat equivalent of candy. (Like a flying Bit-O-Honey) So the cat chases the bird over near the dog’s house. There, he makes the mistake of laying a paw on the dog’s bones. That’s earned him a trip into a cement mixer. (Normally, that would be horrific way to go, but here it just freezes him in cement.)

Now really, in a universe where a dog can collect monetary rewards, why can’t the cat just go BUY something to eat? You know, that is an excellent question. So, the bird sticks one of his feathers into the dog’s mouth and so the cat has no other option but to take a peek inside and see if there is anything left. (He’s not dumb enough to open the mouth on his own. He uses sneeze powder. But really, why is he afraid of the dog? Notice how he phases out of existence when doing this.) The dog has had enough, and prepares to subject the cat to “the works.” Here, the cat has a rope tied around his tail, that will take him through the fence, through several other obstacles (including a drainpipe) and landing him in the cement mixer once more. Neither of them notice the bird who ties some extra rope to the dog’s leg and the cat’s body. Unaware, the dog ends up dragged into the machine with his victim. The bird then sets it to birdbath, and gets a nice new place to bathe.

Personal Rating: 3

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Horton hatches the Egg

“I’m still on vacation.”

Supervised by Robert Clampett; Animation by Robert McKimson. A Merrie Melody released on April 11, 1942.

Yep! This short is the only Looney Tune that is adapting someone else’s property. Clampett’s wild animation style mixed with Seuss’s wild imagination? What a combination! Since you no doubt know the story, I’m just going to have Boy read it out loud, while I make comments about the story as well as changes in the short. Take it away!

Sɪɢʜᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, ᴀ ʟᴀᴢʏ ʙɪʀᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀɴ ᴇɢɢ: “I’ᴍ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴠᴇ ᴋɪɴᴋs ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʟᴇɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴊᴜsᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ. Iᴛ’s ᴡᴏʀᴋ! Hᴏᴡ I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ! I’ᴅ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘʟᴀʏ! I’ᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ꜰʟʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʀᴇsᴛ ɪꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ! Iꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ, I’ᴅ ꜰʟʏ ᴀᴡᴀʏ-ꜰʀᴇᴇ….”

The first difference is that Clampett added much more color. The book has much more black and white with a green sky. Speaking of the book, Clampett and his crew didn’t even use storyboards when making this short. They just scribbled notes in Clampett’s copy of the book. Perhaps their work on this is what inspired Seuss to help with Snafu?

But really, is Mayzie so lazy that sitting on her can, is too much work? I know one has to tip the egg constantly to keep it warm on all sides and keep the chick from sticking to one part of the egg, but is it really work?

Tʜᴇɴ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ, ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ.
“Hᴇʟʟᴏ!” ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴢʏ ʙɪʀᴅ, sᴍɪʟɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇsᴛ, “Yᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ʀᴇsᴛ. Wᴏᴜʟᴅ YOU ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ?”

In the short, Horton is pink. Because it’s Clampett, d*mn it! Nothing is too crazy for this man. And instead of Blanc, we have Kent Rogers who I’ve mentioned was also the voice for “The Bashful Buzzard,” Beaky. The somewhat slow and dopey voice suits Horton. It’s how I’ve always pictured him talking.

Tʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ. “Wʜʏ, ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ sɪʟʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢs! I ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ I ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴡɪɴɢs. ME ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ? Wʜʏ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ sᴇɴsᴇ…. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ ɪs sᴏ ᴍᴀʟʟ, ᴍᴀ’ᴀᴍ, ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ sᴏ ɪᴍᴍᴇɴsᴇ!”
“Tᴜᴛ, ᴛᴜᴛ,” ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ. “I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ sᴍᴀʟʟ ʙᴜᴛ I’ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ. Nᴏ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Jᴜsᴛ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ɪᴛ sᴏꜰᴛʟʏ. Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴛʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪɴᴅ. Cᴏᴍᴇ, ʙᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴇʟʟᴏᴡ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ.”
“I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ,” sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘᴀʜɴᴛ. “PL-E-E-ASE!” ʙᴇɢɢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ. “I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ, sɪʀ. I ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. I’ʟʟ ʜᴜʀʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. Wʜʏ, I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ….”

Horton takes a little more convincing in the book. Not much, but he doesn’t say he can’t in the short. And as for not having wings, I’m not sure that’s a valid argument. Ever look at the way Seuss draws elephant ears? They look an awful lot like what angels use to fly.

“Vᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ,” sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, “sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴsɪsᴛ….
Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Gᴏ ꜰʟʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ. I’ʟʟ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ I’ʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ɪᴛ. I’ʟʟ sᴛᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ. I ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀʏ.”
“Tᴏᴏᴅʟᴇ-ᴏᴏ!” sᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰʟᴜᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʏ.

So who was the father of this egg? Many birds stay together to raise it, but the male must be worst than Mayzie. She at least bothered to make sure the egg wouldn’t die without her. Unless he was the better parent, and just happened to be eaten by the cat in the hat.

“H-ᴍ-ᴍ-ᴍ… ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ,” ᴍᴜʀᴍᴜʀᴇᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ, “Lᴇᴛ’s sᴇᴇ…. Tʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴘ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜɪs ᴛʀᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ sᴛʀᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Tʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ I ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ɪᴛ. I ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴡᴇɪɢʜ ᴀ ᴛᴏɴ.”

I like the fact that Seuss decided to explain how the tree won’t snap under an elephant’s weight, but not explaining how the elephant wasn’t crushing the egg? That wasn’t as important. This part gets no mention in the short. The tree just gets propped without explanation. And Horton only weighs about a ton? How old is he? Judging by the lack of tusks, he must be pretty young, but I always figured he was full grown. If he is, he is way malnourished!

Tʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀʀᴇꜰᴜʟʟʏ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀʟʏ, ɢᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴘᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜɴᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇsᴛ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴇɢɢ sʟᴇᴘᴛ.

As far as I know, unhatched chicks don’t wake in their eggs. So, yes. Slept is the right term.

Tʜᴇɴ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴍɪʟᴇᴅ. “Nᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ….”
Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ….

And what did he do for food? Did he just eat all the plants surrounding him? And what about defecation? Did he ever stop sitting so he wouldn’t soil the egg? These are the kind of questions I ponder.

Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴡᴀʀᴍ…. Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟᴇ sᴛᴏʀᴍ. Iᴛ ᴘᴏᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ʟɪɢʜɴɪɴɢᴇᴅ! Iᴛ ᴛʜᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ! Iᴛ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ! “Tʜɪs ɪsɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴜɴ,” ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ɢʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ. “I ᴡɪsʜ sʜᴇ’ᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴍ ᴄᴏʟᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ ᴡᴇᴛ. I ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ.”

I understand you’re upset Horton, but wouldn’t you be wet no matter where you went? You’re not exactly small enough to hide under much. And are you really that cold? I figured you were in a jungle of some sort. The short has some fun with this scene. The whole place floods and only the tip of his trunk shows. (The egg is doing fine while submerged.)

Bᴜᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, ʙʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴡᴀs ꜰᴀʀ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ɪɴ Pᴀʟᴍ Bᴇᴀᴄʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ sᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴜɴ, sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴜʟ ʀᴇsᴛ, ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ sʜᴇ’ᴅ NEVER ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ ɴᴇsᴛ!

“Far beyond reach?” How fast was she flying? She only left earlier in the day. And for those of you who have the book, look at this page. Why is that one guy staring at her? Has he never seen a bird before? Or is he like me and just amazed to see such an animal out of its natural habitat?

Sᴏ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ sᴏᴏɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs Aᴜᴛᴜᴍɴ. Tʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs ʙʟᴇᴡ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Wɪɴᴛᴇʀ… ᴛʜᴇ sɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sʟᴇᴇᴛ! Aɴᴅ ɪᴄɪᴄʟᴇs ʜᴜɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜɪs ᴛʀᴜɴᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪs ꜰᴇᴇᴛ.
Bᴜᴛ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴀɪᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sɴᴇᴇᴢᴇ, “I’ʟʟ sᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ꜰʀᴇᴇᴢᴇ. I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Okay, I guess it wasn’t a jungle then. In the short, Horton at least gets a cute pair of earmuffs for this part. As for the book, the tree has switched sides and now leans to the left.

Sᴏ ᴘᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ…. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘʀɪɴɢᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ᴀɴᴇᴡ! Hɪs ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɢʟᴇᴇ.

One of these friends may look familiar. It’s Rosebud the mouse, who we last saw in “Farm Frolics”. Making his only other appearance here. Another of his friends is a kangaroo who has joey that has another joey in its pouch. Strange.

“Lᴏᴏᴋ! Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ!” Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴀᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ. Tʜᴇʏ ʏᴇʟʟᴇᴅ, “Hᴏᴡ ᴀʙsᴜʀᴅ!” “Oʟᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋs ʜᴇ’s ᴀ ʙɪʀᴅ!”

And I guess they didn’t give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe once they learned of his predicament, they’d help out. At least try and find Mayzie.

Tʜᴇʏ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ. Tʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ ʀᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴡᴀs ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ. Hᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ. Bᴜᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ: “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡᴀʜᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴᴅ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!

I suppose it isn’t really specified, but it sounds like Horton wants to play with these animals who are dicks. Surely you can make some better friends, man.

“Nᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ WHAT ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs, ᴛʜɪs ᴇɢɢ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ!” Bᴜᴛ ᴘᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ’s ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰᴀʀ, ꜰᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ. Fᴏʀ, ᴡʜɪʟᴇ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ sᴏ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ, sᴏ ᴋɪɴᴅ, ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀs ᴄᴀᴍᴇ sɴᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ sᴏꜰᴛʟʏ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ!

Clampett has fun with the hunters designs. Each one looks different than the others.

Hᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ’s ꜰᴏᴏᴛsᴛᴇᴘs! Hᴇ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sᴛᴀʀᴛ! Tʜʀᴇᴇ ʀɪꜰʟᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀɪᴍɪɴɢ ʀɪɢʜᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀᴛ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ!

And in the animated world, heart apparently means rump.

Dɪᴅ ʜᴇ ʀᴜɴ? Hᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ɴᴏᴛ! HORTON STAYED ON THAT NEST! Hᴇ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴀᴅ ʜɪɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴡ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀs ᴀs ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀs ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ: “Sʜᴏᴏᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴜᴛ I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʀᴜɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ! I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ Isᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴᴅ ᴇʟᴇᴘᴀɴᴛs’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Horton is so bass.

Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ sʜᴏᴏᴛ! Mᴜᴄʜ ᴛᴏ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ’s sᴜʀᴘʀɪsᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢᴜɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡɪᴅᴇ ᴇʏᴇs! “ʟᴏᴏᴋ!” ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ, “Cᴀɴ sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇ? Aɴ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ…”

Really, it’s only mildly interesting. The tree that isn’t breaking, THAT’S the impressive part.

“Iᴛ’s sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ! Iᴛ’s ᴀᴍᴀᴢɪɴɢ! Iᴛ’s ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴜʟ! Nᴇᴡ! Dᴏɴ’ᴛ sʜᴏᴏᴛ ʜɪᴍ. Wᴇ’ʟʟ CATCH ʜɪᴍ. Tʜᴀᴛ’s ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ’ʟʟ ᴅᴏ! Lᴇᴛ’s ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. Wʜʏ, ʜᴇ’s ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟʏ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ! Wᴇ’ʟʟ sᴇʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜs, ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ!”

I suppose during the war, even mildly funny was much appreciated.

Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ ᴋɴᴇᴡ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴜʟᴛ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ᴡᴀɢᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀᴏᴘᴇs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴏɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʟʟᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴀɢ ᴏɴ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴅᴜɢ ᴜᴘ ʜɪs ᴛʀᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ, ᴡɪᴛʜ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴏ sᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴄʀɪᴇᴅ. “Wᴇ’ʀᴇ ᴏꜰꜰ!” ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ. Aɴᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘʏ, ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ.

Somehow they did all this without Horton snapping their spines with his trunk, and they potted the tree. I suppose if they can pull the whole thing, lifting it was just a bit harder. Another minor difference in the short: all three pull.

Uᴘ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴊᴜɴɢʟᴇ! Uᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ! Uᴘ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴇᴇᴛ ʜɪɢʜ! Tʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ, ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴀ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, ᴇɢɢ, ɴᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴇ …

So they WERE in a jungle! A jungle with snow. (And I though Wackyland was weird.) And did they really have to go up the mountain rather than around? These guys really must be the strongest men in the world. (I guess they are all named Artie.)

Tʜᴇɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴛᴏ ᴀ sʜɪᴘ! Oᴜᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ… ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴏᴏʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴛʀɪᴘ! Rᴏʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏssɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ sᴘʟᴀsʜᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘʀᴀʏ! Aɴᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀɪᴅ, ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ, “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ… ʙᴜᴛ ᴏʜ, ᴀᴍ I sᴇᴀsɪᴄᴋ! Oɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Clampett had real fun with this page! See that fish watching the ship? He shoots himself now that he’s seen everything. And yes, suicidal fish get cut when aired on TV. Pussies.

Aꜰᴛᴇʀ ʙᴏʙʙɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴡᴇᴇᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏʀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ʟᴀsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴏꜰ Nᴇᴡ Yᴏʀᴋ. “Aʟʟ ᴀsʜᴏʀᴇ!” ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ʟᴜʀᴄʜ ᴡᴇɴᴛ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴘᴇʀᴄʜ, ᴛɪᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ʙᴏᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴄᴀʀᴇᴄʟʏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ….BUMP! Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʟᴀɴᴅᴇᴅ! Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ!

I suppose he can’t talk to people in the book, but he can in the short. That just makes the people even more cruel.

Sᴏʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜs! Tʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴡᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛᴇɴ ᴄᴇɴᴛs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴇᴋ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ Bᴏsᴛᴏɴ, ᴛᴏ Kᴀʟᴀᴍᴀᴢᴏᴏ, Cʜɪᴄᴀɢᴏ, Wᴇᴇʜᴀᴡᴋᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ Wᴀsʜɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ, ᴛᴏᴏ! Tᴏ Dᴀʏᴛᴏɴ, Oʜɪᴏ; Sᴛ. Pᴀᴜʟ, Mɪɴɴᴇsᴏᴛᴀ; Tᴏ Wɪᴄʜɪᴛᴀ, Kᴀɴsᴀs; ᴛᴏ Dʀᴀᴋᴇ, Nᴏʀᴛʜ Dᴀᴋᴏᴛᴀ. Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅs ᴏꜰ ꜰᴏʟᴋs ꜰʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ. Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ɢʀᴇᴡ sᴀᴅᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴇ ᴡᴇɴᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴀs ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴛ ɴᴏɪsʏ ᴛᴇɴᴛ: “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ… ᴀɴ ᴇʟᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ-ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

The crow isn’t animated in the short. They move as much as the people in the book do.

Tʜᴇɴ… ONE DAY ᴛʜᴇ Cɪʀᴄᴜs Sʜᴏᴡ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴀ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴀʏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ sᴏᴜᴛʜ, ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ꜰᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ Pᴀʟᴍ Bᴇᴀᴄʜ. Aɴᴅ, ᴅᴀᴡᴅʟɪɴɢ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʏ ᴜᴘ ʜɪɢʜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ, ᴡʜᴏ (ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ!) sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰʟʏ ʙʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏʟᴅ ɢᴏᴏᴅ-ꜰᴏʀ-ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙɪʀᴅ, ʀᴜɴᴀᴡᴀʏ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ! Sᴛɪʟʟ ᴏɴ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ʟᴀᴢʏ. Aɴᴅ, sᴘʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴀɢs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇɴᴛs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ, sʜᴇ sᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ, “ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴜɴ! Wʜʏ, I’ʟʟ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴏᴡ!”

Birds are so proud of the fact admission doesn’t apply to them.

Aɴᴅ sʜᴇ sᴡᴏᴏᴘᴇᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴅᴏᴏʀ… “Gᴏᴏᴅ ɢʀᴀᴄɪᴏᴜs!” ɢᴀsᴘᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, “I’ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ YOU ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ!”
Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ᴀs ᴄʜᴀʟᴋ! Hᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛᴀʟᴋ…

I doubt she would have recognized him if he wasn’t in a tree.

Tʜᴇʀᴇ ʀᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴏsɪᴇsᴛ ᴇᴀʀ-sᴘʟɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ sǫᴜᴇᴀᴋs ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ’ᴅ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ-ᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋs! A ᴛʜᴜᴍᴘɪɴɢ! ᴀ ʙᴜᴍᴘɪɴɢ! A ᴡɪʟᴅ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ sᴄʀᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ! “Mʏ ᴇɢɢ” sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ. “Mʏ EGG! WHY, IT’S HATCHING!”

You might think fifty-one weeks is too long for an egg to hatch, but an elephant’s gestation period is 22 months, so that sounds like a fair compromise.

“Bᴜᴛ ɪᴛ’s MINE!” sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ, ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ. (Tʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴏɴᴇ. Nᴏᴡ sʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.) “Iᴛ’s MY ᴇɢɢ!” sʜᴇ sᴘᴜᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ. “ʏᴏᴜ sᴛᴏʟᴇ ɪᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ! Gᴇᴛ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴛʀᴇᴇ!”
Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sᴀᴅ, ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ….

Even as a kid this part bothered me. The work is NOT almost done, it’s only going to get harder. Why does she want it back so much? Does she think she can make the chick wait on her?

Bᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ʙᴜʀsᴛ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ! Aɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs ᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ sʜᴇʟʟ, ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ’ᴅ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ sᴏ ᴡᴇʟʟ, Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴀᴡ sᴏᴍᴇʜᴛɪɴɢ ᴡʜɪᴢᴢ! IT HAD EARS AND A TAIL AND A TRUNK JUST LIKE HIS!

So, unless sitting on an egg just infuses it with your D.N.A., Horton was the father all along. No wonder Mayzie made him sit. He had to do his share.

Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ sʜᴏᴜᴛɪɴɢ, “ᴡʜᴀᴛ’s ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ…?” Tʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ! ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴇʏᴇs ᴘᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ~ Tʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ CHEERED ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ. Tʜᴇʏ’ᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ! “Mʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅɴᴇss! Mʏ ɢʀᴀᴄɪᴏᴜs!” ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ. “MY WORD! Iᴛ’s sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙʀᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴡ! IT’S AN ELEPHANT BIRD!!
ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ, ɪᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ, ɪᴛ SHOULD ʙᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ! Bᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴡᴀs ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ! Hᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ! Hᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ….”

Except… the elephant bird wasn’t brand new by 1940 when this book came out. It was a real species that had already gone extinct. It layed the biggest eggs of any animal. (And we’ve got another person staring at the bird again. Is he wondering what other chimaeras he could make?)

…Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴇɴᴛ ʜɪᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ, ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!

Showing that some people are nice after all. (But did they really never try and see if the elephant was sitting on anything?) I’m just glad it ended happily for everyone who wasn’t a prick. And our short ends with Horton and his (I’m guessing son.) singing together. And what a merry melody it is!

Personal Rating: 3

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A Cartoonist’s Nightmare

♫The tables are turned, and now you’re in, our clutches!♫

Supervision by Jack King; Animation by Don Williams and Paul Smith; Musical Score by Bernard Brown. A Looney Tune released on September 21, 1935.

Before we move on to today’s short, it’s time for another rendition of “Something that actually happened to me, that I didn’t make up and is still related to our source material.” I was at work, and a little boy saw my Marvin the Martian shirt. Somehow, he knew that I was someone who actually watches the source material of what he wears, and not only complimented my attire, but asked what Looney Tunes DVDs I had. He had several of the same ones and I sent him away with some ideas about what others he should get. I’m just glad that SOME parents are making sure their kids watch true art. Wouldn’t be great to have a little pal to watch cartoons with?

Yᴇᴀʜ! Tʜᴇɴ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ!

Too bad that will never happen. Now leave! The adults are talking.

Today’s short is a creepy good time! Definitely one of the more underrated shorts. It begins at Animated Cartoon Studio. (A subsidiary of Generic Products United.) Another day of work is done, and everyone goes home. (Keep your eyes open, and you’ll find that Clampett works here.) The night watchman begins his rounds. This looks like a fun place to work. There’s a staircase that leads to a door too small for anyone to enter, and a sea star in a water cooler. Those rascally artists!

There seems to be a cartoonist still here. He’s working on the latest short for their newest star, Beans. (Making this the first “Looney Tune” to not feature Bosko or Buddy. Warner’s was just all about those B’s.) Yes, by this point Buddy had been abandoned, and I Haven’t got a Hat had come out, so it was time to see if this new character had what it took to be the star. (Porky won.) I will admit, it would have been cool if all this opeing stuff that happens in the short was in live action, but the technology wasn’t there yet, and even if it was, we don’t need another “Coolworld.”

I don’t know what part of the short the man (Name time! I’ll call him Bob McClampet.) is working on, but it is a part where Beans had just been threatened by a beast, but had bars put in front of him, keeping him safe. I guess the short is done, because even though he said he needed to finish, Bob decides to sleep. (Sleep is best often enjoyed at your work) Seeing his chance, the beast grabs Bob and yanks him into the world of cartoons. With Beans still safely locked away, no one can save Bob. Oops.

Bob is dragged down to a room where all the cartoon villains are kept. (Which is right next to where the cartoon heroes are kept. You know them, they are what they’re supposed to be. Illusions of your fantasy.) And in a brilliant move, some of these guys actually appeared in previous Warner shorts. The “Mad Doctor” was the “Mad Musician” from “Buddy the Detective,” “One-punch Otto” the octopus appeared in “Mr. and Mrs. is the name;” even the beast who pulled Bob in appeared once. (Naturally, in 1934’s “Beauty and the Beast.”) They’re are plenty of original faces there too. Including Battling Barney the gender confused kangaroo. (Males don’t have pouches. Females aren’t called “Barney”) And Spike the spider*. (Who doesn’t have the right number of legs. And has a beetle’s shell. And a nose. And… Oh wait! “Spike the spider” is probably just his wrestling name. Of course, that must be it.)

So why all the kidnapping? Seems they’re angry at Bob. In every picture he makes, they are the villains. Don’t get them wrong, they love doing what they do, but they don’t like how they are always the losers. So, they are going to make Bob kill himself. (Dang! A cartoonist’s nightmare indeed! Imagine being hated by your creations! Sure, this kind of situation would come back in “Fairly Odd Parents,” and the “Goosebumps” movie, but being forced to end your life? That’s harsh.) Seeing as how if he doesn’t comply, the rouges are probably just going to kill him themselves, Bob complies and begins drawing a pit.

Remember Beans? He is still in this short too. He’s just been given a loaf of bread by… somebody. Seriously, who is that? We never saw them! (I’m not using gender specific pronouns because I legit don’t know what gender they are.) They came from where Bob was taken. Are they one of the cartoon heroes? The ones who will last forever? I doubt it because we never see them again! Also, I guess Beans wasn’t too upset about his creator probably dying, as his face lights up at the thought of a snack. It’s a pretty comfy cell. As long as someone feeds him, he could stay there for years, no problem.

Okay, okay, back to the plot. Random character in a dress and bonnet hid a saw in the bread, and Beans begins to make his escape. Bob meanwhile, has drawn the pit, and is thrown in. And there is a crocodile in there, so he’s pretty much screwed. When Beans arrives, he finds the villains watching the action. They’re smart enough to make sure their plan works out. (Impressive!) Beans sends some boots to kick the beast, and the whole lot chases after the cat once he is spotted. (Well, at least they look evil. Brains don’t matter much.)

Beans sends the pencil down to Bob, who draws a ladder to get himself out. Then, with the use of a grease gun, Beans sends all four villains (no idea where all the rest went) sliding into their own trap. Bob then erases it. (Which is also pretty harsh. They’re trapped in a enclosed space with a dangerous reptile. Even if they manage to fight it off, they are going to starve. I hope the two heros are proud of themselves.)

Considering the smiles are their faces, I guess they are. They shake hands, which is really the night watchman shaking Bob awake. When the title said “nightmare” it meant it literally. Still, Bob is grateful for Beans’ help. To reward him, not only does he remove the beast and cell from the scene, but he draws him up a giant plate of dessert. (Ice Cream? Pudding? Custard? Maybe it’s all three.)

Personal Rating: 4

* Hi. It’s me from the future. I’ve since learned that Spike also came from an earlier short. But I’m leaving the post unedited, because I found that description I wrote about him hilarious.

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Buddy’s Beer Garden

“Give the girl a great big hand!”

Supervision by Earl Duvall; Animation by Jack King and Tish Tash; Music by Norman Spencer. A Looney Tune released on November 11, 1933.

The idea of prohibition really amuses me. To think we actually had the 18th  amendment of our constitution forbidding alcohol consumption. (Even funnier is the later Amendment 21, stating to ignore number 18.) To celebrate the end of such an era, Buddy has opened a place for people to happily get drunk.

It seems to be pretty popular. (Although identical twins must sit on opposite sides) Buddy uses devious means to make his beer more appealing. He adds shaving cream to the tops to make it look extra foamy. He even has employed his girlfriend. Cookie takes more pride in her work. She hand knits every pretzel. There’s more meaty dishes too. Tongue sandwiches specifically. (They happily lap up mustard)

Another one of Cookie’s jobs is being the smokes person. Cigars and cigarettes. (That’s all they’ve got. Hookahs are for caterpillars.) One patron buys from her and makes a remark about her looks. (He looks like King Hippo with more clothes and a terrible shaving job) Also, Cookie has a third gig at her boyfriend’s eatery. She dances to Latin music wearing a see through dress. (Though, all we can see is her legs. They’re not bad. But Turkey legs? OHHHHHHH! That’s the creme da la creme of legs.)

I’d like to say that everyone is enjoying the show, but what is with the guy on the far right? Not only does he keep looking at the table, but he keeps rubbing his head against it. Does that turn him on? Also, Buddy is a liar. I quite clearly saw a sign advertising free food, but he still charges a patron for his sandwiches. (I guess the cheese is too expensive. You may not know this, but during the depression, cheese was valued over platinum.)

Buddy announces a surprise guest to perform next: Mae West! King Hippo is still around, and loves what he is seeing. He just has to get a little closer. But because of the alcohol and maybe a little shyness, he can’t do much better than greeting her from under a table. He is spotted by a poster for beer with a goat on it. (Both the goat’s horns and Hippo’s hat change color briefly in this short.) As you’d expect from a goat, it butts the butt in front of it, and Hippo is thrown forwards, knocking Mae into the air and crashing himself into a mirror. We then see Mae was really Buddy in drag the whole time. (Which might be the first cross-dressing in a Warner Bros. cartoon. I’ll have to double check.)

Personal Rating: 2

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You don’t know what you’re doin’

“O.K. baby!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Norm Blackburn; Music by Gus Arnheim’s Brunswick Recording Orchestra. A Merrie Melody released on October 21, 1931.

With Foxy gone, we needed somebody to take the Merrie reigns. A character named Piggy was given a shot for two shorts, but afterwards Merrie Melodies weren’t stuck with just one character anymore. Piggy himself doesn’t have much of a personality to set him apart from other toons of the time. He stole a pair of Mickey’s pants, but that’s about the most interesting thing we know about him. (Please note: this Piggy is not related to the Piggy Hamhock who would appear later in the decade for a couple of shorts. Warner Bros. just had a thing for piggies.)

One night, hundreds of thousands of a crowd are heading for a night at a vaudeville theater. Piggy included. But first, he needs to pick up his girlfriend, Fluffy. (A great name. If their is one thing pigs are known for, it’s their thick fleecy coats.) They head to the show and listen to some of the music. But Piggy is a bit of a musical snob, and accuses the musicians of the title of the short. He figures he could do better, and takes the stage. I’m not a musician, so I can’t say for sure, but I think he sounds pretty good. I guess I’m in the minority, as the crowd isn’t too happy with him. Especially a trio of drunks.

Even though it’s clear they’ve been drinking, and their senses dulled, they think he kind of sucks. They sing the title theme, with Piggy arguing that they are just jealous, and the drunks continue to claim he has no talent. (Fluffy has just disappeared by this point, a shame that no one besides me is willing to defend her boyfriend) Eventually, the lead drunk (A name? How about… Tyler? Tipsy Tyler.) falls onto the stage. He breathes some booze breath at Piggy, and the stuff is potent enough to get him sauced as well.

Now, that he is a slave to the alcohol, Piggy takes the drunk’s drink and runs. With the wino in hot pursuit, Piggy pours some of the drink in a car, and tries to make a getaway. (Seeing as how he came to the theater in a scooter, he is clearly stealing now) For a creative touch, we see how the world looks through their eyes: the world is in waves. The road rises and falls, and it makes for a real wild ride. A clock dances, and a sewer grate becomes a monster. Piggy loses the car, and he and the drunk end up in  a pickup truck. Not wanting to carry them, the vehicle dumps the blissful drunks in a dump. (I think Piggy is going to be a little late picking Fluffy up)

What a fun short! Catchy music, trippy visuals, and fun gags! And so early in the Looney Tunes run! This proves they had what it took to make it in Hollywood. And look how it all turned out in the end. Possibly the most well known characters in animation history!

Personal Rating: 4

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One More Time

“Oh, bologna!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Paul Smith; with Abe Lyman and His Brunswick Recording Orchestra. A Merrie Melody released on October 3, 1931.

Well, seems Walt wasn’t too fond of characters looking an awful lot like his own Mickey. Because of this, Foxy would only appear this “one more time.” Well, until he would appear decades later on Tiny Toons. By then people were extra careful to make him look different from a mouse. With pointier ears and snout. (But at least he wasn’t as blatant a rip off as Milton Mouse.)

(Disney may have killed him off rather quickly, but he’ll live forever in my nightmares)

For his last appearance, Foxy is a cop. And he patrols some pretty nasty streets. He is nearly killed several times. Either by being hit by car or just flat out being shot at. But he’s not unarmed. He has a gun that fires a mouse with a hammer at assailants. But even the non-criminal citizens are causing some trouble. Another hippo (this one speaks mostly in “wahs”) is having some road rage with another Mickey clone. (They are popping up everywhere today) Eventually, she accidentally runs over Foxy and he gives chase.

When she pulls over, she begs and pleads to not be given a ticket. Foxy doesn’t really buy her story, but he does forego on the ticket. (Instead, he just shoves her head in a trash can.) Roxy is making one more appearance too and her dog happily greets the scared vulpine. (Being several years before Disney would prove that a fox and a hound could get along, you can understand Foxy’s terror) The three take a break to enjoy some impromptu music.

Another hippo, meanwhile, has just been robbed. The cops give chase, with Foxy leading the pack. The criminal may seem pretty small, but after entering a pipe, he is not only larger, but accompanied by three other crooks. A grenade is hurled that takes care of the other officers. (I think it kills them. It at least knocked the flesh off their legs.) They also fox-nap Roxy which just gives Foxy even more reason to give chase. He takes a robot horse from a penny arcade and gets her back. With the criminals now chasing him, he tricks them into running into a prison. But he hasn’t completely won. The driver managed to escape and shoots Foxy in the butt. (What a way to make your final appearance!)

Personal Rating: 3

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Smile, Darn Ya, Smile

“Boil, darn ya, boil!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Max Maxwell; Music by Abe Lyman and His Californians.  A Merrie Melody released on September 5, 1931. (This is the earliest short we know the air date of)

Yes, this is the same song the toons sing in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” and what better character to have star in a short that’s title theme was used in a Disney movie, than a guy who looks like he ran away from Ub Iwerk’s sketchbook? Remember Foxy? I’ve mentioned him before. He still looks an awful lot like a mouse. But he’s acting like a lucky rabbit. Here, he is running a trolley. (And he’s sure to have some troubles)

His first customer is a hippo. The perfect choice for making fat jokes. (sdarwkcab secnetnes reh fo lla syas ehs kniht I ,oslA) Foxy takes a pin out of her hat and stabs her. Rather extreme, but she does shrink. (Not due to a large loss of blood, but all the air she had in her.) Even though she is now compact enough to take a ride, she is cross with the fox for some reason. He couldn’t care less. He has rounds to make. And besides then he’d have to share his alone time with his girlfriend, Roxy. (Who’s not even waiting at any station. But when you date the conductor, you get special privileges.)

Life is just so grand, that they start singing the title song. (Early Merrie Melodies were like that. The title just referred to a song that would be sung) Even the ads printed on the trolley’s side join in. But the fun is short lived. As cartoon law dictates, “If you shall find yourself on tracks, then you shall find a cow blocking your way. And chances are, she’ll be really ugly.” (Look, Foxy has a cute hat now!) Even the hoboes that live under the bridge laugh at his misfortune. (When your Lyme disease keeps you from sleeping soundly, you have to find humor wherever you can.) Foxy’s trolley takes a running start, and jumps under the cow. (That’s not a typo. That’s funny.)

Now without his hat, Foxy should have no problems showing his girl a good time. But he wasn’t watching where he was going, and he is knocked out when the trolley enters a tunnel. (To quote Spyro 2: “Trouble with the trolley, eh?”) He tries to tie it down with a rope, but it just drags him back to it. Despite Roxy pleading for him to stop, it apparently has no brakes! And worse yet, the tracks lead to a cliff! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Then Foxy wakes up. It was all a dream. (One of the earlier times this cliche was used, so I’ll forgive it.) And why was that catchy song in his dream? His radio was playing it. Not amused, Foxy kills it with a bedpost.

Personal Rating: 3

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Dog Gone South

“I’ll take care of ya.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ben Washam, Lloyd Vaughn, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, and Emery Hawkins; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Phil DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1950. Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ben Washam, Lloyd Vaughn, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, and Emery Hawkins; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Phil DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1950.

Another of the “100 greatest! (I’m talking about these a lot this year, huh? And I’m planning on doing it again next week.) This is Charlie Dog’s sole inclusion on this list, and I’m glad. I love this guy. And of his five appearances, this is probably his best. You probably thought I’d choose one of the his times with Porky huh? Speaking of Porky, this is the first time Charlie appeared without him. We see the hound being kicked off of a train. He is in the south as the title suggests. Acting like most dogs would, he sets about to finding himself an owner. Colonel Shuffle is a nice pick. Really, Colonel Shuffle from “Mississippi Hare” is also in this short. (Though never mentioned by name) He’s not interested in Charlie, not because Charlie is kind of annoying, (and I mean that in the best possible way) but because he already has a dog. Belvedere, a Marc Antony styled bulldog who is so top heavy, his hind legs raise in the air when he runs. That, and Shuffle is full of Southern pride. He is not too happy to hear Charlie sing “Yankee Doodle” on his property. Keeping quiet on the Northern front? That’s simple. Getting rid of Belvedere is the hard part. Charlie starts by dressing him up in a Yankee style hat, and giving him a “North Forever” banner. Shuffle chases after him in a Confederate outfit. Seeing his chance, Charlie does the same and acts wounded. Shuffle agrees to take him in, but Charlie ruins things by suggesting a meal of Yankee Pot Roast. I guess Belvedere is forgiven then. Seeing as the Colonel hasn’t beaten him to death yet. Charlie then dresses him up in a New York Yankee’s uniform. (Which looks cute on him) Belvedere notices this and grabs a club to hit Charlie with. He hits Shuffle. Seeing Belvedere coming for him still, Charlie gets Shuffle again, who is once more beaten. That does it, and Belvedere is kicked off the plantation. Seeing as he now has no dog, Shuffle agrees to take Charlie in. Just then, another man walks by. He would like a dog, and would treat him like a king. Charlie, (proving all he really wants is a home, and could care less about who owns it) takes him up on that offer and leaps into his arms. The man in turn throws him onto a leaving train. Turns out it was Belvedere. He happily goes back to Shuffle. (Poor Charlie. Guys named Charlie are always being rejected despite being really great guys. Charlie Brown just wants love. Charlie Tuna just wants people to eat his delicious flesh. Charlie Horse just wants plastic surgery so his face will stop giving me nightmares.)

(Okay, maybe not that last one.)

Personal Rating: 3