Category: Minor Characters

If a character made between 2-4 appearances during the golden age, then their cartoons can be found in this category.

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Jumpin’ Jupiter

“The stars are so bright tonight, you can almost touch em.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Keith Darling, Abe Levitow and Richard Thompson; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1955.

You are traveling through an unknown area. An area of wisecracking rabbits, egotistical ducks, fanatic coyotes and homicidal canaries. Behind any door could be a train speeding towards you, and when you walk outside you must beware of falling anvils. It’s as clear as the pie on your face. You have just entered: The Wacky Zone.

Submitted for your approval, is the tale of one Porky T. Pig. He is out camping in a desert with his cat, Sylvester. Said cat is terrified. There are coyotes around, and coyotes will eat cats. But little does he know, that soon he will have much more extreme fears. Porky, does not worry about his cat possibly dying and leaves him outside the tent while he sleeps. Despite his worry, Sylvester does manage to get some shuteye. As they slumber, a flying saucer spots the campsite. Landing, we learn it is from Jupiter and on a mission to collect samples of Earth life. The pilot of said craft comes out and doesn’t he look familiar? It’s one of the instant Martians that Marvin is so fond of using! (Never buy Instant Martians from Craigslist.) Liking what he sees, (I’m guessing. He doesn’t emote much.) He gets back in his ship and burrows under the campsite. With the plot of land safely on top, he flies back into space. (Which seems to be full of bubbles) The lack of oxygen doesn’t bother Porky, but the lack of heat does and he grabs another blanket. The Instant Jupiterian comes out to check on his specimens and Sylvester panics. Unlike in other encounters they have together, he actually gets Porky to see the object of his fear. Porky is so cool, he doesn’t even bat an eye. He tells the (man?) that he’ll look at his wares in the morning, pointing out to us that he was a Navajo. (I don’t think that was racist. Porky isn’t one to be…)

Hey! I already excused this! Hey! I already excused this!

As I was saying: Porky goes back to sleep, while Sylvester continues to hide under the bed. The Jupiter (man created by) Jones goes back to his ship to read up on Earth life. (Written by Dr. Sig Mund Fre Ud) Only now do they seem to be free from Earth’s gravitational pull, as everything on the ship begins to drift away. (Except the dirt. I guess there’s magnets in it.) Porky and his belongings float down to ground just as he wakes up. Nothing like a good nights sleep to make the world look new. He even sees a planet he’s never seen before in the sky. (I’ve played Kirby 64. I think it’s called Shiver Star) He packs up camp and drives off with his pal Sylvester. Unaware they are being watched by the natives of the planet. Unaware that he is no longer on Earth.

Porky Pig. A mild mannered Earthling. He survived his close encounter of the second kind, and lived to tell about it. However, he just might soon find that things will never be the same. They never are, here in: The Wacky Zone.

Personal Rating: 4

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My Little Duckaroo

“I’ve got you now, Canasta.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Ben Washam, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson and Lloyd Vaughn; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Phillip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Directon by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1954. Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Ben Washam, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson and Lloyd Vaughn; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Phillip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Directon by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1954.

It’s a followup to “Drip-along Daffy.” And sadly, it’s not as good as its predecessor. Daffy is once again cast as the hero. (Known this time as the Masked Avenger) Porky is there too and still relegated to the role of comic relief. Daffy spots a wanted poster for Nasty Canasta. (Looking different than he did in his first appearance and how he would look in “Barbary Coast Bunny.” Guy just can’t find a style he likes.) Daffy decides to fix his little red wagon, but not because it is the right thing to do. It’s all about the money. Luckily, Canasta’s hideout is clearly labeled, so Daffy has no problem finding it. The problems start when he comes in and introduces himself to the thug. Canasta can’t be bothered to react to Daffy at all. (Not even to his nice mask. I agree with Daffy. It is stylish) He has no luck with his alter egos either, The Frisco Kid and Superguy. Eventually though, Canasta does challenge Daffy to a game of cards. After the classic “cutting the cards joke” Daffy deals. He gives Canasta one card and keeps the other 51 for himself. He has a royal straight flush full house with four aces. Canasta has a three of clubs and his gun in Daffy’s mouth. It’s clear who the winner is. Daffy then suggests arm wrestling. (I’m not surprised he lost. Canasta is the kind of guy who makes a cigarette by putting all the ingredients into his mouth and spitting out the final product.) Porky suggests that Daffy just arrest Canasta. And I’m happy to report that Daffy doesn’t do the old “glad I thought of it gag.” That’s not my favorite gag. He slaps some handcuffs on Canasta and tries to drag him away. Canasta breaks free. Daffy finally snaps and challenges the outlaw to fight. Porky has the utmost confidence in him. (Um, Porky old pal? You did see Canasta’s Crusher impression, didn’t you?) Porky calmly waits for the fight to subside outside, (while his shirt changes color briefly) as he assures us that Daffy is going to fix Canasta’s little red wagon. Daffy comes out the loser. And to add insult to injury, Canasta literally made him fix his little red wagon. (That’s harsh. We watched a subpar sequel to a great Daffy short for such a weak punchline?)

Personal Rating: 2 (Mostly because it’s a rather disappointing sequel, if you haven’t seen it’s predecessor, it could earn a three)

No post next week. I’ll be out of town. But we’ll be back the week after, so stay tooned.

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Birth of a Notion

“I have no duck, Leopold.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster. A Looney Tune released in 1947. Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster. A Looney Tune released in 1947.

During the Autumn, ducks tend to fly south to warmer temperatures. Daffy is not like most ducks, and instead has a plan to get himself a warm home for Winter. It all hinges on the bone he’s holding. He leaves it on a house’s porch and calls for the dog that lives there. (I suppose he’s been scouting to find a home with a dog. It’s needed for his plan) The dog prepares to feast on that bone, but Daffy stops him. He claims that the bone is poison and that he saved his life by keeping him from eating it. Leopold, (for that is the dog’s name) is grateful and tells Daffy that in return, he’ll get him anything he can. Daffy requests sharing the house. Leopold doesn’t think his master would like him doing that, but eventually gives in. His master is a familiar face: it’s that scientist that looks like Peter Lorre. (Who from this day forward, shall be known as Pete Lorry) He is working on some sort of experiment that is requiring something he does not have: a duck’s wishbone. Leopold, meanwhile, sticks Daffy in the closet promising to bring him food and water. If Daffy wasn’t Daffy, his plan would have definitely worked, but he’s not one to stay there and naturally leaves. Just in time to overhear Pete tell his dog about his duck loss. Daffy isn’t scared as one usually would be in this situation, but is instead angry. He tries to goad Leopold to join in on the Pete-killing, but the dog is loyal to his master and won’t partake. Daffy throws stuff at Pete’s head and succeeds in hitting him once with a bat, just as Leopold grabs it. Pete is very calm (while breaking the bat into many pieces) and tells Leopold that he will do horrible things to him, should he get hurt. Daffy is not through, and heads into this bedroom with a knife. He takes a stab at taking a stab, but Pete happens to sleep with a shield and is unharmed. But he is now very much aware that there is a duck on the premises. A chase ensures with trapdoors, a door that leads to a countryside speeding by, and arms coming out of the walls. (Intermixed with a shot of Leopold complaining about his “role” in the short. Best joke of the cartoon, right there.) After having many sharp objects thrown at him, Daffy goes for the obvious solution and just leaves. (Who knew it was that easy?) To Leopold’s horror, Pete begins wondering if a dog’s wishbone would work in whatever he’s working on. (Maybe he just wants a wish?) Why is Leopold scared when dogs don’t have wishbones, you ask? Well, clearly Pete won’t figure that out until he’s dug through Leopold’s neck. That’s how mad scientists work. Daffy meanwhile is preparing to try the bone scheme at a different house, but another bird has beaten him to the punch and kicks Daffy away into the sky. Well, it’s easier than flying yourself, so Daffy kicks back and enjoys the ride. (Leopold joining him with fan powered flight)

Personal Rating: 3

Don’t expect a post next week. While I can’t promise that I won’t have time to write one, I also can’t claim to have the time to do it. So for just once in your life, don’t expect the unexpected.

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Cartoon Network Groovies

“What’s all that racket? ”

You know what made Cartoon Network so much fun to watch, back in the day? Well, yes, having cartoons that I wanted to watch was nice, but they went out of their way to make the commercials a joy as well. It’s a network where the cartoons are in charge, so naturally, the cartoons would be working there. During a commercial break, we could see the toons working at their jobs, and interacting with each other. But my favorite thing they did was the groovies. Short music videos about the cartoons we loved and if we didn’t already love them, then these videos might encourage us to take another look.

They were brilliant. Each one was different. Even the ones that were based on the same series. “Dexter’s Laboratory”, and “The Powerpuff Girls”, each had more than one for their series. (Not that I mind. I love those shows.) Even a few shows you wouldn’t think would be popular enough to get one, got one. Like JabberJaw and Betty Boop. (I didn’t even know her shorts ever aired on that channel.) Although there were some weird ones. There’s one based on “Ed, Edd and Eddy” where Sarah gives the titular boys a drink that shrinks them for her amusement. It’s a great song, but is that really related to the show? I never really watched it.

Another one is based on “Courage the Cowardly Dog”. It takes place somewhere not in Nowhere, Kansas; Eustace and Muriel look much younger; and they are having a party. This show, I did watch. And Eustace doesn’t seem like the type to allow that many people into his house without giving him something. But of course, the reason I’m talking about them here is because there were some based on “Looney Tunes”. And they get looked at more in-dept.

L’Amour A Un Odeur: A remix featuring Pepe Le Pew and his various shorts. It’s my least favorite just because it feels the most rushed to me. The music is that classic faux French they put in all his shorts.

Personal Rating: 3

Wascally Wemix: As you’d expect, this is Elmer’s song. A bunch of his lines remixed. Bugs and Daffy feature prominently too. The music kinda dying near the end, keeps it from being higher on my favorites.

Personal Rating: 3

Pork Jam: AW YEAH! My pal Porky gets a remix, and it’s awesome. His lines mixed with the music, never fail to put a smile on my face. It was my favorite as a kid. So, what could possibly top Porky?

Personal Rating: 3

Mars Forever: My favorite out of all the groovies. A recruitment video Marvin made to build up his troops. Best music in my opinion. Contains bits from all his shorts, plus “Rocket-Bye Baby.” A masterpiece if ever there was one.

Personal Rating: 4 (I could see someone wanting to watch the others if this was viewed first.)

In memory of my good friend, Abby the Dog. 2006-2017. While there are no shortage of great dogs, there was only one of you.

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A Tale of Two Kitties

“HEY, BABBIT!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Rod Scribner; Musical Direction by Carl W. stalling. Released in 1942.

This short was supposed to introduce the world to new characters who would be stars for Warner Bros. But someone else stole the spotlight. The two supposed stars are two kitties. (This is their tale.)

The taller one is named Babbit (Tedd Pierce) and the stout one is Catstello. (Mel) His name is never mentioned in the short, but come on. He’s a cat and if you have any idea who Abbot and Costello are, then you know who these two are based on and you’ve made the pun yourself. (That and the studio model sheets labeled him as such.) It’s time to eat and Babbit tells his comrade to go get a bird out of a nest so they can eat. Catstello is reluctant even after he’s told of how small it is. (I guess they’d each get a mouthful, but I have a feeling Babbit would hog it all.) Turns out hes got “Heightrophobia” and it takes a pin to his backside to finally get him up the ladder.

Scared sightless as his partner is, Babbit has to angrily demand that he gives him the bird. (Catstello laments that the Hayes office is what is keeping him from fulfilling that desire. I just didn’t know the term existed in the forties.) He makes a swipe at a sleeping bird but misses. This is the birthplace of Tweety. (Inspired by nude baby photos that Clampett’s mother had and he resented.) The ladder breaks and Catstello begs to be rescued from atop the remainging pole. So scared is he that he doesn’t notice Babbit saving him until he is in his arms.

For the next attempt, Babbit shoves his pal into a box against said pals protests. He’s also afraid of the dark. Babbit lets him out and the springs on his feet bounce him up to the nest. Here, our little baby Tweety (model sheets had him labeled as Orson) utters his first words: “I tawt I taw a putty tat.” Seeing as he did taw a putty tat, Tweety has no choice but to defend himself. And does he ever! Using an arsenal of guns, clubs and even TNT sticks, he continues to beat the crap out of the poor putty tat. Catstello cries over his failure while unbeknownst to him, he sits on an explosive. When Babbit detonates it he flies up towards the nest again. But he flies past it. (Tweety helps himself to Catstello’s apple. Or rather, the worm that was inside.)

When gravity kicks in, the cat falls and is able to cling onto a telephone wire. Tweety comes over to play “This ittle piddy.” A sequence that would be reused, essentially verbatim, in “Roger Rabbit“. Even down to Tweety resembling his old design.  The bird isn’t totally heartless, as he throws the cat a rope. It’s attached to an anvil, though. Said anvil crushes the cat into the ground and drags all the surroundings towards it. This includes Babbit and his victory garden. (I really like how concerned he sounds for his friend. Turns out he really does care.) The final attempt is launching Castello with wooden wings strapped on. Wouldn’t you know it, it works. (Human beings have been trying to fly for years, and it took a simpler mind to figure it out.)

Tweety calls the “fourt interceptor tommand” to report the disturbance and the cat is blasted out of the sky. He manages to avoid landing on a pitchfork in favor of his partner. (While they didn’t become the stars, they did appear in a couple more shorts after this. But they were mice. How humiliating.) Tweety is now on the ground and initiates a blackout. Seeing their chance, the two cats stalk their prey with faces that haunted my childhood.  Tweety doesn’t freak out, though. He yells at the two to turn out the lights like he told them too. Their glowing eyes instantly dim. (As does the moon.)

Personal Rating: 4

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Wagon Heels

“Him, screwball.”

Directed by Robert Clampett; Animation by Rod Scribner, Manny Gould, I. Ellis, and C. Melendez; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Michael Sasanoff; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1945.

What’s going on? Why is this place updating a day early? Well, I’m working tomorrow so you’ll have to put up with me during your holiday. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day! If you’re racist, the Martin Luther King snake will bite you!

This is a color remake of an earlier short by Clampett called “Injun Trouble.” This new title is much more friendly. If I was smart, I would have reviewed all the shorts in chronological order. (However, I amn’t smart.)

In 1849, the U.S. was a much smaller country. It was all relegated to the east coast and the rest of the land belonged to the red man, Injun Joe. (If he was born today, he’d be called Native American Joe.) But if you read your history books, (And I know you did. Kids love history!) you’ll know that the white men decided that the land was theirs and they would soon have it. A wagon train is headed to what is today known as California. (Back then, it was Joelifornia.) There are some familiar looking faces in those wagons. They look an awful lot like the gremlins from “Russian Rhapsody.”

Seeing as they’re entering enemy territory, (Containing such lovely locales as Joeklahoma, New Mexijoe, Minnejoeta, and Injunsaas.) they send out a scout to watch for trouble. Who better than my pal, Porky? Not too long after crossing the border, he finds the remnants of Joe’s last massacre. There’s only one survivor: Sloppy Moe. A blue-skinned runaway from Wackyland who may or may have clearly been driven insane by Joe’s wrath. He does admit to knowing something he won’t tell. Shouting that it’s a secret when Porky inquires. Porky shrugs him off as a lost cause.

Now why don’t we check in on this Joe character? How strong is he? And what of his age? Is the mighty Joe, young? Well, he’s certainly earned his title. He’s the original Joe Cool. He doesn’t walk around mountains, he walks through. Trees with what look like Tweety clones in his way? Them too, without pity. He reduces the most ferocious of bears into whimpering cubs, and bites bear traps into letting him go. Naturally, if you’re going to fight him, you’re going to have to send someone beyond cool, manly, and cunning. And I don’t see how you could disagree with me, but Porky fits that description. Unfortunately, Joe has found Porky’s wagon train and diverts them off course leaving them out in the open. You might think Joe loses coolness points for riding a stick horse, but that’s actually quite clever. What horse could hold his weight?

The train tries to fight back, but they don’t stand a chance. Joe uses whole trees as arrows and can make uses of bullets too. He crams them in his mouth and fires back cannon shells at them. Porky catches up and wrestles Joe’s tomahawk away from him and gives him a smack on the foot. At least he hurt Joe. That’s more than any of us could have done. The angry Injun causes Porky to jump out of his skin-colored pants, and chases him to a cliff. It looks bad. How could things get worse? Well, Moe comes back. He’s still singing about his secret, but Joe won’t put up with such tomfoolery and demands to know it. Turns out, he already did.

Moe’s secret is about Joe’s weakness: he’s ticklish. Using his beard Moe tickles the burly brave into submission and he falls off the cliff. The force of his impact causes all of his territory to be dragged down with him, stretching our country to it’s current size. Goodbye, U.S.J. and hello U.S.A. (Bet you didn’t know that the country was fully formed at that time. We just didn’t announce it until 1912.) It’s all thanks to our heroes: Porky the fearless and Sloppy Moe the brave. (Moe would appear years later on “Tiny Toons” when they did a parody of “The Great Piggy Bank Robbery.” There, he was called Ticklepuss.

Personal Rating: 4 Better than the original. (If I was smart, it’d be discussed by now.)

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The Bashful Buzzard

“Just watch me folks!”

Why don’t he do this more often?

Directed by Robert Clampett; Story by Michael Sasanoff; Animation by Robert McKimson; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1945.

Finally get to talk about Beaky again! I love this guy! (No! Really?) But the poor bird only had four appearances in his theatrical career, so I can’t give him his own entry. (And yet, he was pretty popular in merchandise at the time.) At first, he was just called “The Snerd Bird” due to his resemblance to Mortimer Snerd. And he wasn’t voiced by Mel. (At first) His original voice voice actor was a talented young man named Kent Rogers. He was a semi-regular in these shorts. Being the original voice of Henrey Hawk and Junyer Bear, and voicing caricatures of Hollywood’s finest in “Hollywood Steps Out” (And he was only 14 at the time!) He died during some training for World War II. Friggin’ Hitler! This is all his fault! Along with “Fantasia” not getting a European release! I wouldn’t be born for decades and he still ruined my life!

This short starts very similar to Beaky’s first appearance in “Bugs Bunny Gets The Boid.” Mama buzzard even telling her boys to bring back the same things she did then. Perhaps aware that this has been done before, everyone’s lines are more exaggerated. Beaky really doesn’t want to go, but is kicked out anyway. His brothers target a farm and each grab some poultry. (By the necks even! They’re not kidding around.) Beaky tries to do the same, but crashes into a weather vane. His mom rescues him, sarcastically comparing him to his father. (Am I the only one who’s curious about him?)

She points out his brothers are now each carrying home a sheep. Wanting to make his mom proud, Beaky tries the same, but just pulls the wool off. The sheep beats him for that. The brothers have moved on to even bigger game by this time. Including: a cow complete with a farmer milking her, (the farmer avoids being part of their dinner, but still plummets to his doom) a dog who really doesn’t want to die, (he desperately clings to a fire hydrant) a freakin’ horse drawn carriage complete with driver and romantic couple, (at least they’re going to die happily) and even a parade of circus elephants! (Including a cute little baby one at the end who informs Disney’s lawyers that he’s NOT Dumbo.) Mama happily shoves all the meat into the pot. Seeing as Beaky hasn’t come home yet, she figures he must be bringing home something fantastic!

Well, he caught a bumblebee. (A baby one yes, but still…) The mother comes to her young’s rescue and stings Beaky.  While he soothes his aching tail feathers, a creature laughs at him. Seeing that he is taller than the thing that is most definitely a caterpillar or turtle, he begins pummeling and insulting the creature. Even nearly swearing, calling him a piece of shhhhhhoe leather. (I didn’t know the term even existed in the 40’s.) Unfortunately, Shorty (as Beaky calls him) is actually the head of a dragon. A. Dragon. And it’s not too happy about Beaky trying to carry it off. It roars, but Beaky tells it to stop scaring Shorty. He realizes it IS Shorty and is chased into a cloud where he is presumably thrashed.

Later that night, Mama laments the fact her son is gone. (Isn’t that sweet? As hard as she may be on him, it’s because she loves him and just wants him to be strong.) Every parent’s worst nightmare is over when Beaky shows up. Perfectly healthy, but a little roughed up. And empty handed. (No really. Look at his wings. There’s nothing there.) Happy as she is, she still scolds him for not bringing home any meat. (It’s the only way he’ll learn.) It’s a shame that the short ends here. I want to see her face when she see’s the DRAGON that her son is now currently holding. And that is why I’ll never forget Beaky. He took on a dragon and won. He’s going to get all the b*tches.

Personal Rating: 3, but if the beginning wasn’t an obvious repeat, I might have opted for a 4.

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Farm Frolics

“♪There’s no place like home!♪”

Supervision by Robert Clampett. Released in 1941.

A beautiful farm is drawn in by a realistic hand. (That windmill doesn’t look finished, you fraud!) It’s time for some farm jokes! A horse has been trained very well. He trots when you say trot. He gallops when you say gallop. When you say canter, he imitates Eddie Cantor. (We’re still working on that one) The farmer’s dog may be old, but he is still dependable. He still fetches the paper every morning. (Gotta get his Dick Tracy fix) And we also see some piglets watching a clock. If you’re visiting this place for the first time, you should know that pigs are my favorite animal ever, and piglets are the cutest cutes that ever dared to cute. They’re the origin point of the word. It is odd that they choose to watch a clock, but I’m not going to spoil their fun.

A mother hen leaves her eggs. Not smart. They are being watched by a hungry weasel. He sneaks up to feast, when the chicks hatch and nearly give him a heart attack. In the nearby forest, there are lots more animals to have fun with. (You didn’t think we’d stay on the farm for all of our frolics did you?) There we see a field mouse with abnormally large ears, who keeps hearing things. Believe it or not, he has a name. His name is Rosebud. And even though he only appeared in one other short besides this one, we got some merchandise of him.

Let sleeping statues lie.

Even though they are small, even ants care for their young by calling them home. For the sake of not boring you, I will refrain from pointing out all the misleading ant facts that are shown here. Except for the ant butt crack. (What is up with that?) As we head back to the farm, we see the pigs still at the clock. They refuse to go play. I guess that clock is more entertaining than we will ever know.

A more bizarre sight is that of a cat and a mouse in a loving embrace. Apparently the cat loves that mouse and takes good care of him. This doesn’t stop the mouse from begging for help and trying to escape. The cat catches him and happily goes back to sleep. Before the day is over though, we stop by the piglets one more time. Seems they were watching the clock to know when it was their favorite time of day: Dinnertime. They happily run home to their mother’s teat and began suckling. (“Every day it’s the same thing.”)

Personal Rating: 3

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Bacall to Arms

“Anybody got a light?”

Care to help a fellow American who’s down on her luck?

Directed by Robert Clampett (uncredited); Animation by Manny Gould, Don Williams, Rod Scribner and I. Ellis; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Philip DeGuard; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1946.

One of Clampett’s last shorts and it feels like his heart wasn’t really in it. Many scenes are reused from “She was an Acrobat’s Daughter,” including the crowd switching seats, the fat hippo, and the young goose annoying his father. A wolf is shown his seat by a female usher. (I swear that’s Porky sitting behind him.) He rushes off to flirt with her but is slapped. A news reel is shown that radar has a new purpose: alerting a family to the mother-in-law coming. The film then starts. A parody of the real picture “To have and have not” called “To have…To have…To have…” (etc.)

It stars parodies of the stars of the actual film, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall (to arms) played by thier Toontown counterparts: Bogey Gocart and Laurie Bee Cool. The rest of the cast’s names scroll on the screen. They’re not important. The movie itself says they are the “cast off characters.” The wolf (who shall hence forth be known as Winchell) starts to doze off. (After the cartoons, I would too) The Tex Avery hippo is told by Gocart to sit down and stop inconveniencing people as the film is starting.

When Laurie shows up on the screen, Winchell pays attention. She’s so hot, that she leaves little flame trails wherever she walks. As she kisses Gocart, the wolf is in heaven. (The whites of his eyes disappear at one point even.) Winchell continues to go nuts. Kissing the back of the head of the patron in front of him, whistling so hard someone’s wig flies off and jumping out of his clothes. (Apparently the audience left to go smoke at that point as the theater seems deserted.) When Laurie is finished with her cigarette, Winchell dives after it and takes a puff. Not amused, Gocart shoots the wolf and takes it for himself.

It blows up leaving him in blackface. (Yes, this part was cut for television.) He exclaims that he can work for Mr. Benny now. (It’s a little known fact that there were at least 12 Rochesters and that Gocart played the 3rd one)

Personal Rating: 3. There’s just barely enough new here to keep it a little interesting.

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The Turn-tale Wolf

“How I dread passing the houses of them three, mean, little pigs.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, Herman Cohen, and Rod Scribner; Layouts by Peter Alvarado; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952.

School is out for the day and a young wolf (Blanc doing his Sylvester Jr. voice,) heads home angrily. Once there, he calls his uncle out for blowing down the houses of pigs. Seems they learned all about him in school today. (His uncle also clearly has a picture of a topless woman pinned to his wall. I don’t like it when wolves are attracted to humans. It makes my brain throw up.) Uncle Big Bad claims he is innocent and the story is all backwards. He sets his nephew down to listen to his side of the tale. (Speaking of tails, why doesn’t his poke out of his pants? Isn’t that uncomfortable?)

When the wolf was a younger wolf (and now his tails clearly pokes out? Suspicious!) he loved to commune with nature. But he always had to pass the homes of three rude pigs. Look familiar? Those are the same guys who sold Bugs their houses to avoid wolf attacks. Only now they dress like Huey, Dewey and Louie, whereas the third one wore yellow before. (Which was actually those ducks original color set. I’m getting off topic. The bottom line is these pigs shall henceforth have the same names. I’m sure it’s obvious who gets which moniker, but I’ll spell it out for those of you who are uneducated in the tooniverse. Blue pig=Huey, Green pig=Dewey, and Red pig=Louie.)

He has every right to dislike them as the mean little pork chops slingshot him whenever he passes. But today, Louie suggests that they actually let the wolf play with them. (Giving his confused companions a wink.) They even let the wolf use their biggest slingshot and offer to load it for him. He gets a boulder in the face. According to Big Bad, he didn’t “moidalize” them for this joke, but actually cried. For being a good sport, the pigs decide he can play another game of theirs called “Surprise! Surprise!” All he had to do was put his hands behind his back where they will put an unknown gift. He can look when they tell him to. He gets a firecracker. (Well, he was surprised.)

As he goes on, he tells his nephew that he continued playing with the pigs. One day while playing a friendly game of “Swat the Fly” (Rule 1: All non-pigs get beaten with paddles by pigs. Rule 2: All non-pigs forfeit the game if they play by the rules.) they see a sign advertising a bounty on wolves. Specifically, their tails. He has a right to be nervous as his new pals are staring at his butt with dollar signs in their eyes. (At least they’re not horny?) They deny that they would have any desire to rip off his tail as he’s there friend. In fact, they want him to be the king for the day! They have a throne set up and everything! Sitting down, he pulls a bell rope at the pigs suggestion to let his proclamation ring. In actuality, it’s connected to a guillotine blade and the wolf just barely keeps his tail intact.

With the jig up, the pigs no longer bother hiding their blood lust and chase him back to his house. They blow down his house and with him knocked out under the rubble, they advance with a crazy look in their eyes. The nephew, upon hearing all this, doesn’t buy it. The wolf then shows that he was tailless all along! *Haunting laughter as lightning strikes*

(Before the short ends though, he confides to us that he lost it in a swinging door. Keep that ending away from the campfire, pal)

Personal Rating: 3