Birds Anonymous

“If you really want to beat this, look us up. We can help you.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

It’s another Oscar Winner! It’s the third time Sylvester’s been in one of those! This was Blanc’s favorite short he did voices for! (And if my research is correct, it was originally supposed to be called “Tweety-Totaler”. A more clever title, but a bit harder to take seriously.)

Inside a house, Sylvester carefully closes all the window blinds so there are no witnesses for what’s about to happen. He grabs Tweety quite easily. (Granny’s not in this short. Neither are any guard dogs.) He doesn’t eat him, as another cat (who would later be named Clarence) warns of the perils. Apparently, Birds are a cats alcohol and they have a group that can help break the habit. Sylvester attends a meeting and vows to do the same.

He returns home and cheerfully greets Tweety with a friendly pat on the head. (“Deaw Diawy, I know you won’t bewieve this but…”) Sylvester turns on the television. Surprise! It’s a cooking show describing how to make delicious poultry. (It never specifies WHAT bird it is. It could be a hoatzin.) Sylvester fights his urges and tries the radio. Of course, it’s only playing alliterative avian albums. (“Bye Bye Blackbird”, “Red Red Robin”, No, Hungry Hungry Heorn, unfortunately.)

He handcuffs himself to a radiator, (why were those cuffs in the kitchen?) but manages to break free after Tweety asks if he likes him anymore. Clarence arrives to shoot a plunger in his face. (“I was afraid you might be weakening.”) At night, Sylvester can’t sleep and runs to Tweety, planning to quit after just one more. Clarence pours alum into his mouth, thus making it impossible for him to shove Tweety in.. He breaks down, and Clarence tells him that it’s really easy to get along with your prey. He kisses Tweety and manages to get a taste of him as well. Clarence is now trying to eat the canary while Sylvester tries to stop him.

Personal Rating: 5 (For Mel’s godly voice acting.)

A Gruesome Twosome

“Have you two putty-tats met?”

Directed by Bob Clampett

From the title alone, you’d probably never guess this is a Tweety short.

This is the last short with Tweety Clampett directed, and the last one where Tweety is naked. (He may be yellow, but he’s still got no feathers.) Apparently, it’s mating season for cat statues. (Yes, I know that the shadows don’t have to be animated) One female, who actually is pretty hot (and from an avid cat hater, that’s some compliment) has two suitors: A pot-bellied dolt nicknamed Snooks, and a horny Jimmy Durante cat. (None seem like ideal mates to me, but hey, she’s pretty nice to give them a chance.)

While they fight over her, a random dog pops up informing us that he does not belong in the short, but he’s not missing a chance to steal her kiss. My favorite part. Not wanting the titular twosome to fight over her, she tells them that the first one to bring her a bird will win her. (No specific bird? Would a plastic flamingo count?) The two both climb the same telephone pole (oblivious to each other) and find the same bird, Tweety. Upon noticing each other, they fight and Tweety causes them to fall and explode. (Cats do that, right?)

Jimmy decides they’ll have to work together if they want the naked genius. (I’m sure they are both planning a double cross) Their plan? Dress up as the most ridiculous horse in all history. (AKA the phony pony) Tweety isn’t fooled. In fact, he takes a bee out of his… pocket?, (So Tweety’s a marsupial?) slaps it around and shoves it in the costume. Making like the Lone Ranger he has a fun ride, until the cats crash into a tree.

While discussing another plan, Tweety takes a bone belonging to a bulldog, smashes him over the head, and tossing the bone into the costume. The dog runs into it and I’m pretty sure he ends up killing those two gruesomes. Tweety ends the film with his own Durante impression.

Personal Rating: 4

Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this direct to DVD movie.

It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides, remember the last Easter we saw Bugs? That’d sour anyone’s mood.) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (Playboy) penguin, and steals the generosity bucket of carolers Egghead Jr., Henrey Hawk, Barnyard Dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on this cutie, later.)

Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam Sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie Dog, the Three Bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtle’s lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude Cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like his role in “Tiny Toon Aventures”!) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays, (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like a skunk, (No really. Penelope just has a stripe.) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager.

Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There, he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (Cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank, and pays it little heed.

After being visited by Bugs again, (He was searching for cheap skates, and was directed up here.) he gets a passage delivered by a Roadrunner. (I have no idea if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His employees then come asking for favors, but are all snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! Tara Strong really knows how to bring in a cuter than cute performance.)  Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. (Where else are the last minute Kwanzaa shoppers supposed to go?) Everyone leaves discouraged.

Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands they separate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in only to leave him behind?) This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store.

The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe switch with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employees lives really are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute.  Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and just begs Bugs to hide him from the promised third ghost, once he returns.

They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taken away by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (I meant she with Porky! She didn’t die yet, sickos!) Being an angel anyway, she leaves some cookies on Daffy’s resting place, (which look hilarious, since they look like him) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (*Laughing* Best joke right there!)

Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next morning, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (Her choice even! She wasn’t bribed!) Daffy sees how much his generosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to take it all back. That’s when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him “Uncle”. (I wish she’d do that to me.) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing grand, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it.

Personal Rating: 2 for the common folk, 3 for the Looney-tics.

The Last Hungry Cat

“Sardines and milk wouldn’t have done it, you had to commit murder.”

Parody Time! It looks like “Hitchcock Presents”, but instead of a person its a bear. (I guess? It could just be a very strange hairdo.) He tells us a story. In this strory a one Sylvester the cat is about to break into Granny’s house and eat Tweety. Once grabbing him, he loses his balance on the stack of furniture he is standing on and everything collapses. Tweety uses this time to escape. Sylvester comes to and seeing the feather in his mouth deduces that he ate Tweety. Hearing Granny he makes his leave happy to have escaped.

The narrator works his nerves up by calling it murder. It doesn’t help when Sylvester walks by a newspaper hunting a criminal known as “The Cat.” He hides in a building. (I assume it’s his house.) He tries to relax by listening to the radio and reading but both things just add to his guilt. So he resorts to smoking and coffee drinking. (To calm his nerves I guess? I don’t think coffee does this, anyone care to explain?) He stays awake all night. While taking a sleeping pill shower he breaks down sobbing. The narrator tells him to give himself up and Sylvester agrees.

Upon arriving back at the scene of the crime he finds Tweety alive and well. His happiness soon turns to hunger, when Granny whacks him for trying to eat her bird. The narrator ends his tale and Sylvester throws a brick at him.

Personal Rating: 3

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

What? Sure its a Disney movie, but if you know that, than I am quite certain you know that a few  Looney Tunes were actually allowed to cameo in it. I am not going to describe the plot, though, because if you have not seen this movie you should be ashamed. If you haven’t seen it and call yourself an animation lover, (Such as myself,) then rectify your crime immediately. It won’t be a regret.  What I am going to do is just point out the Looney Tunes I saw. If you have seen more please let me know. (I’m noting the character’s actual appearances. Passing mentions and still pictures aren’t fun to find. No mention of the infamous deleted funeral scene either. Just thinking about what could have been makes me cry.)

At Maroon studios: Bugs is hard to spot, but as Valiant strolls through the lot, right before the scene changes to the entrance, you can spot him. He’s on the left of the screen. Then, when the scene changes, you can see the Dodo walking into the studio. He is in his “Dough for the Do-do” color scheme.

At the ink and paint club: The infamous scene where Donald and Daffy duel with pianos. (Playing my favorite music piece, no less.)

Near the Acme factory: Yosemite Sam flies out of Toontown

Toontown: Tweety and Bugs are here. It’s hard to miss them. Wile E. and the Roadrunner can be more difficult, though. Don’t blink as Valiant ascends in the elevator. Their silhouettes, and by extension bodies, can be seen.

Ending: You can see Bugs, Daffy, Yosemite Sam, Tweety, the Roadrunner, Wile E Coyote, Foghorn, Marvin, Sylvester, Speedy, and Sam sheepdog. And of course what kid of movie would it be if it did not end with Porky saying “That’s all Folks!”

Yes I know that Wile E. and the Roadrunner, Speedy, Sam Sheepdog, and Marvin were not around at the time this movie takes place, but if you are going to complain about that, then you should also complain that all the flags in the movie have 50 stars. As for the Looney Tunes vocals,  they were still provided by Mel Blanc. Except for Yosemite Sam, but that is forgivable as Blanc was aging at this time, and he could not yell like he used to.

Personal Rating: 5

Porky Pig Show/Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show

These are two different programs, but both were designed to show the finest short films Warners had to offer. Porky is extra awesome, so why not let him have his own show? The intro showed many people and even some fellow toons going to Porky’s barn to watch some of his finest work.

As for the other show, It spawned from the Bugs Bunny Show and was popular enough to stay on the air for 14 years! The opening cast line remained pretty much unchanged except Hippity Hopper was replaced with Sylvester Jr. and they added Pepe and (thank goodness) Porky. It’s a shame that these classics don’t play on TV anymore. Kids today don’t know what entertainment is.

Personal Rating: (Based on the openings) 3

Tweetie Pie

“Kiss the ittle birdie!”

This is it! this is THE cartoon. What is THE cartoon? This is the first Looney Tune that won an Oscar. (Ironicly “Tom and Jerry” had been winning tons of Oscars. Why? Are Tom and Jerry better than Looney Tunes? Fun fact: not always) Actually, in this cartoon Sylvester is called Thomas. Oh, and this is the canary and putty tat’s first time together, too.

It’s winter and Tweety is out warming himself by a cigar butt. Thomas (Sylvester) grabs him and almost immediately gets caught by his owner. She takes Tweety in and puts him in a cage, warning the cat to leave him alone. When she’s gone, Sylvester builds a stack of furniture that Tweety chops down. (The owner hits Sylvester with a broom) He builds one out of metal furniture and Tweety uses a blowtorch to destroy it. (Sylvester gets hit with the broom again)

At one point Sylvester has Tweety under a glass so Tweety can’t call for help. So the bird pokes Sylvester with a pin and the owner throws him out. After failing to get in through the fireplace, and a Rube Golberg device doesn’t work, he saws the area around the cage which brings the whole ceiling down. Sylvester throws the broom in the fire only to get hit by a shovel. Wielded by Tweety.

Personal Rating: 3

Snow Business

“I’ll sthtarve!”

Sorry for the lack of update last week. I was forced to go camping and it took a lot out of me. In other news, I got a new person to visit here. (Give yourself a hand, ***.) So without further ado…

A blizzard is taking place and Granny can’t get to her cabin where her pets are. (And the man stopping her is no help “Well, I’m sorry ma’am”) In the cabin we see that the two pets are good friends. (Well Sylvester almost tries to eat Tweety, but he controls himself) They hear over a radio, that they are snowed in and worry they will starve. Tweety won’t because the only food available is birdseed. Sylvester thinks of something he can eat but he doesn’t tell Tweety what it is.

Instead he offers him a chance to go sailing (in a boiling pot of water) or skating. (in a pan of grease) This would work out great, but also in the cabin is a mouse who is starving and decides that putty tat is on the menu. Eventually, Granny makes it back to the cabin. To her surprise, the only thing she brought to eat is more bird seed.

Personal Rating: 3

Bird in a Guilty Cage

“We’ll play thandwich.”

Sylvester walks by a department store. To his delight, there is a canary on sale. He sneaks in and heads towards Tweety. (Not before ogling some mannequins in bathing suits.) Tweety hides on a ceiling lamp. Sylvester tries being creative and constructs a tower of mannequins to reach his prize. As he climbs up, Tweety climbs down and attaches roller skates to the tower, sending it down stairs.

Next, Tweety hides in a pile of hats. Sylvester can’t resist trying them on, but finds most of them horrible. Tweety is on one of them and seeing this, the puttytat tries to hammer the bird but only hits his own head. At the end, Tweety jumps in a mail chute and Sylvester goes to where he believes the bird will come out with his mouth open. Tweety comes out another end and sends a TNT stick his way. Sylvester is sure he ate Tweety and he leaves the store. After an explosion, he decides that birds upset his stomach.

Personal Rating: 3

Aint She Tweet?

“Quiet Boys! Quiet!”

Despite what the title says, always remember: TWEETY. IS. MALE! He also happens to be for sale inside a pet shop. A hungry Sylvester throws a brick at the window to get inside, but when he notices the cop, he has to let the brick hit himself. He comes back with a glass-cutter but is too late. Tweety has been bought by granny who loves pets, and that means she has a yard full to the brim with bulldogs.

Sylvester goes over on a tree limb, but Tweety saws it off. He tries stilts, but Tweety gives the dogs tools to dismantle them. He tries a zip line but his weight causes it to lower him into the dogs reach. At one point it seems the dogs are gone, but they are inside. Sylvester manages to escape but a dumb old man thinks he’s doing him a favor and throws him back. (There was a sign you dumb old man)

He climbs into a package which turns out to contain dog food. (Granny wonders what has made them so hungry) At night he sneaks among them, only for Tweety to wake them up with an alarm clock.

Personal Rating: 3