Some sort of fiesta is going on in Mexico. (One kids seems to fly away on a balloon.) Even the mice are having a good time, setting up some sort of carnival. One of the highlights is watching Speedy play against himself in ping-pong. Up in the sky however, there are hungry eyes watching. It’s a bird known as Senor Vulchurro… I’m sorry, Vulturo. (Am I the only one who really wants another Viva Pinata game?) He comes down for lunch, causing the mice to scatter. He very nearly catches one, but Speedy beats him to it and leaves a fire cracker for the bird instead. (Despite his name, he doesn’t look like a vulture. More like a crow. A green crow. Maybe he’s a jackdaw?)
He naturally gives chase. Speedy leads him onto some train tracks where he is flattened by a train. And then a handcart. Speedy tells him that he is too fast to catch, but offers to lead the bird to a fat mouse that is sure to be a treat. (High calorie things usually are.) The bird follows as Speedy leads him to a mouse hole. The bird crashes his head above the entrance and cracks his skull. Opting for using his brains instead of wings, the bird sets up a ball and cup game, (Do those even have a proper name?) where the ball has been dunked in nitroglycerin.
It seems that Speedy would have fallen for it, had the bird not left his leg in sight. Speedy plays along and learns that this game is from his very own Lupe. (Seeing as this is Speedy, he wonders which Lupe sent it.) He begins to toss it over the cup to himself and back. Vulturo gets fed up and tries to show him how you’re supposed to play. Speedy grabs the ball and asks if the bird gives up and he refuses. Speedy drops the ball and the bird accepts. As his punishment, he must take place in some of the carnival games. And I do mean take place. One side has mice throwing balls at his head, and the other has them throwing darts at his butt.
This short is another nominee for best animated short. It lost to “Birds Anonymous” (At least that’s a good short to lose to.)
At night in Mexico (maybe City or maybe some other place, I don’t know) the mice are having a great time at the cantina. They’re celebrating Speedy. (Is it his birthday? The fact they depend on him for survival? It’s not important.) Two mice known as Pablo and Fernando are already muy loaded on the Tequila, but ignore Speedy’s warnings and continue to drink up. At 3:00 A.M. the place clears out. Those two aren’t dead despite all the alcohol they have no doubt consumed, and tipsily head home. (I agree with them. They make a fine “trio.”) Speedy is well aware that they are in trouble and sets off to find them.
They meanwhile have attracted the attention of an alley gato. (“I think I saw un pussy gato.” “You did! You did see un pussy gato!”) Drunk as they are, they don’t recognize the danger and instead put up their dukes. The cat prepares for a feast, but Speedy arrives in the nick of time and saves Pablo; putting him in a sardine can for safekeeping. When he goes back for Fernando, he only finds his sombrero. He assumes the worst, but finds him in the can also. (Drunken mice have teleporting powers.) Speedy runs Ferny home telling Pablo to stay put. Once he gets his friend home, he rushes back for the other one. Unaware that Fernando climbed out of his window and is still stumbling about.
The gato meanwhile has found Pablo and puts him in his mouth. (Grey nose.) Speedy has seen all this and runs over. The cat screams, we hear a snap and then he kind of explodes. Ummm… what? Speedy apologizes for his… well speed, and does the whole gag again in slow motion. We see that he hammers the cat’s foot causing him to scream. Speedy grabs Pablo and sets him down on a set mousetrap. He quickly gets him off and puts him in a glass bottle, then he lights a firecracker and puts that in the cats mouth. Bad luck though, the bottle was broken and Pablo got out. Fernando meanwhile finds his way into the cats mouth himself. Speedy redoes the fast gag again and this sends the gato running for the “Ceety Leemits.”
The two drunkards are safe now, right? That’s how a Disney short would end. To Speedy’s surprise, the two have found an alley full of dozens of gatos, challenging them to a fight.
“Why did you hit yourself on the head for, George?”
Directed by Robert Mckimson. Released in 1953
It’s night at a wharf. The moon is bright, the water is green, and two cats are going hunting. The little one is named George and the hippo in a cat suit is named Benny. ( “Of Mice and Men” reference) They are played by Blanc and Freberg respectively. (To be fair, this is one of Freberg’s funniest roles. Don’t take my hippo quote the wrong way. I love Benny.) Benny actually appeared the year before in a short with Sylvester and Hippity Hopper called “Hoppy Go Lucky.”
Back to our featured short. Benny wants to come hunting with George who agrees on account that Benny not do stupid things like he always does. He points out a ship in from Mexico and comments on their Mexican feast they will have. Benny loves Mexican food! It gives him the heartburn that he loves! He agrees to throw George aboard and tosses him into the side. He doesn’t notice until he’s hopped over himself and scolds George for disobeying the “No Fishing” sign. (No Swimming.) He pulls him up and George brings out the trap he brought. He sets it up, but a blur runs over and steals all the cheese. The blur leaves a card behind that identifies him as the fastest mouse in all Mexico: Speedy Gonzales! Making his film debut! Let’s take a look at him.
Wh-what is this unholy terror?
Yes, in his debut Speedy had ragged fur, a red shirt, NO PANTS, huge eyes, oversized teeth, (one in gold) and only wore his sombrero in his very first scene. After this short, Speedy wouldn’t be used again until Freleng sort of adopted him two years later. It’s like when McKimson did that with Chuck Jone’s Henery Hawk, and Freleng previously did with Bob Clampett’s Tweety. Only McKimson made some more pictures with the mouse as well. I’m getting off topic.
George has Benny hoist a crate of anvils into the air while he sets some more cheese down. Speedy in turn blows up a bag near Benny and he drops the trap on George. (Of course, Speedy is fast enough to grab the cheese first.) Next George sets up many pieces of cheese near firecrackers. All he needs is a match. Speedy has one and runs to each cheese wedge, grabs it, and lights the fuse. George who is chasing him keeps getting caught in the explosions. (You know, if Speedy didn’t run so much, he’d be fat.) Benny goes to get some water to cool his friend down, but remarks that “P-e-t-r-o-l” is a funny way to spell water.
They set up a free casino that advertises lots of free girls but is really a hidden pipe. (Good thing all men share the same sexual orientation.) George then tells Benny to wait at the other end. Speedy naturally saw all this, but plays along. As he runs in, George pointlessly lights a rocket to chase the mouse, but gets launched alongside it. Benny ends up smacking him on the head. Getting a new pipe, George leads it into Speedy’s mouse hole, unaware that the rodent is bending it with a wrench. He stuffs lots of dynamite into the pipe also oblivious to the fact it’s all piling up behind him. He lights the fuse and the resulting explosion launches the cats off the ship. No Mexican meal tonight.
And they’re all directed by Frank Tashlin! Hope you’re not sick of the guy yet. Don’t worry, we’ll be taking a break after this post.
“The Goldbrick” Released in 1943
“I do believe I’m putting on weight.”
Snafu is sleeping when he is woken up. (What else would he be doing if he was woken up?) He is naturally unhappy about this, and wishes to not have to get up for drills. A sprite named Goldie shows up and he lets Snafu in on some secrets of avoiding work. If you fake an illness, you can spend a day in bed with a hot nurse by your side. (Who must suck at her job if she can’t tell he’s faking.) When digging a trench, Goldie advises him to dig just enough for his head, and he’s earned a well deserved nap. Instead of pushing a load up a hill, have someone help while you sit on the load and push.
Soon, Snafu is lazy and out of shape. This comes back to bite him when he’s actually on the field. Deciding to goldbrick since that’s all he knows, he limps towards a convenient hospital. It’s a trap of course, and he ends up smashed by a hammer. He’s okay though and gets out. More trouble is out there, as an enemy tank chases him down. He digs a trench, but as he only ever digs enough for his head, his rear sticks out and the tank crushes him. He’s dead. (Snafu dies quite a few times in his shorts.) Goldie then reveals that he was really Japanese the whole time. (Remember: we were enemies. Japanese people do not look or sound like that.) But Snafu will be remembered, thanks to his 22 karat goldbrick grave.
Personal Rating: 3
“The Home Front” Released in 1943
“I didn’t know you cared.”
This short begins with Snafu in a very cold location. He complains because that’s what he does. He figures that all his loved ones are enjoying themselves back home. His dad is playing pool, his mom is playing bridge and gossiping, and his grandpa is being a pervert at a burlesque show. Worst of all, his sweet Sally Lou is no doubt dating someone else. (Isn’t that just how women are? If you leave them, they replace you.) Out pops good ole’ Technical Fairy First Class. He has a TV and lets Snafu see how much “fun” his family is having.
Turns out, that Snafu is the black sheep of the family, as the rest are working real hard. His dad’s building tanks, his mom’s planting a victory garden, and gramps is reinforcing battleships. And dear sweet Sally Lou? She joined the W.A.C.s. (I hope you feel like a dope, Snafu.) He tries to give her image a kiss, but since she’s not really there, he kisses the fairy instead. (Hey, he lived this time. He’s coming home, Sally!)
Personal Rating: 3
“Censored” Released in 1944
“Mail this for me!”
Snafu is trying to send the lovely Sally Lou a letter. (A wimpy, short, dumb, lazy, man gets a hot chick? It’s plausible, but not fair.) Only one thing is preventing him from getting to the postbox: The censor. He/She/It catches Snafu and shreds his letter to nothing but “Greetings” and “Farewell.” On a train, Snafu tries again and this time folds it into a paper airplane. Tossing it outside does not work, as the censor has a net. The note is returned to Snafu as paper dolls. On the ship to his next destination, he tries again with the help of a dove he has in his pants. (Not one word about that.) The assistant censor, (a hawk) catches the bird who points out it was not his plan. (He’s some sort of stool bird!) The letter is beaked this time.
Snafu is getting desperate to talk to M.L. and luckily for him, his pal Technical Fairy First Class agrees to send it after Snafu tells him it’s safe. He and his girl use a code when speaking. The note delivers and Mary gets itttttt… I never thought I’d see this much skin when I decided to start reviewing shorts. (Yes, I know these shorts were for the armed forces, but she’s not even wearing a bra!) Even though he’s asked her to keep quiet, she goes on to tell her mother who goes on to tell more people. Eventually, through use of the telephone game, the Japanese here of it too and prepare an ambush at Bingo Bango island, where the U.S. is heading to. Unaware of the dangers, Snafu and the others land only to get blown up. Turns out it was all a dream. (Three shorts today. 1 death, 1 live, and 1 both.) Turns out T.F.F.C never sent the letter. Having learned his lesson, Snafu censors it himself.
I’m sorry that I didn’t update last week. I was having personal problems; but that is no reason to shirk on my duties. So, to make up, I will post last week’s entry along with this weeks. Also, we’ll be switching to updates every Wednesday. (It’s easier for me) So let’s take a look at a couple of books, that Tashlin wrote, but never did anything with. (Could have been interesting to see them animated.)
Little Chick’s Wonderful Mother
This story takes place in two yards. In one, there is a chicken coop full of chickens, naturally. The other yard contains an incubator that has only one egg inside it. (Seems like a waste of money.) When the egg hatches, a black chick is born. (His color isn’t important, but the narration mentioned it.) The chicks in the next yard ask him where his mother is. He points out the incubator. It hatched him, naturally it is his mother. The chicks laugh at him. Heck, even the full grown hens and rooster laugh at him. (This is where we get jerk chicken from.)
Getting an idea, the chick somehow gets a hold of many objects and makes his “mother” look the part. Painting a face, giving her a broom as tail feathers, a poinsettia as a comb, and a corn cob beak. (Wait, she has a beak AND a mouth? That’s not scientifically correct. Talking poultry however, is fine.) Still, the birds laugh. The chick is sad, but promises “her” that no matter what the others might say, she is his mom and he loves her. Later, a rain storm rolls in and the hen house begins to flood. Being the hero of the story, the chick has all the other chickens climb onto his “mother” as she floats. They are saved and admit that she IS a good mother. The rooster then forces the other hens to look like her. (Um, I don’t think that’s necessary.)
Tony and Clarence
I like this one a lot more as it doesn’t need a moral.
Tony is an organ grinder. His monkey (the titular Clarence) is very efficient at his job. He collects many pennies and thanks the donators for every one. Being a monkey, he can climb anywhere in the city. This way, the lazy citizens don’t even have to get up to pay. At the end of every day, Tony and Clarence go home and have dinner and go to bed. (Sleeping in a bed with an animal is cute.) But one day, Clarence falls ill. (Sleeping in a bed with an animal is also not very clean.)
He is taken to the hospital and Tony asks the doctors to do all they can, and he will pay whatever they ask. But how will he do it without his monkey? A musician without a cute animal might as well have their tunes pirated. Well, the animal kingdom is full of options! Too bad his subs all have their little hiccups. Dog: chases cats. Elephant: falls through the hole in the street it made due to its weight. (Really? Several cars won’t do that, but one elephant will?) Giraffe: gets it’s neck tangled in the clotheslines. Beaver: chews the telephone poles. Pelican: goes fishing. Goat: eats buttons off of people’s clothing. (Maybe if you fed it, Tony…) Ostrich: doesn’t eat the coins like it would make sense to do, but rather does the old hiding in hole cliche that is not true.
Tony is sad and the other animals feel bad they let him down. Then the doctors call Tony with news about Clarence. Is he worse? Is he dead? Actually, he’s not even himself anymore. SHE is a mother. (Really Tony? You had this monkey for how long and you never could tell it’s gender? And how did she get preg…OH NO!) Now named Clarice, the monkey goes back to work with Tony. And he is now 6 times richer as all the young monkeys join in. (Monkey’s don’t have that many babies at once, you know. Let me have my nitpicking fun.)
Hope that makes up somewhat for disappearing last week. It’s great to be back.
Personal Rating: It may not mean much, seeing as they never got past the draft stage. But I’ll give them both a 2. There’s beginnings of greatness there.
Ready for the rest? We are told that during the war was when Bugs was at his most popular. A smart aleck who was not afraid of anyone and calmly told them to be gone or suffer the consequences? We rocked in the mascot department! Those Nazi’s were stuck with Swazie Tika the talking rock. (If you actually were believing that, then I’m worried about you. Please lay down) The next short they show is “Rhapsody Rabbit” (Nothing like saying how awesome a character is, before showing some of their work where they are not the victor) We are then treated to some of the hijinks that went on at the studio. Dancing, picking noses, and even kissing Porky’s @$$. (You better do that. He saved your company from the mouse) Then we are shown “Walky Talky Hawky.” Why question it? Clampett mentions that while Bugs is their biggest star, Porky was the first. Porky was actually based on a fat kid from his youth. (He was actually called Porky. What an honor.) As time went by, they put Porky on a diet to make him cuter. Then of course came Daffy. Clampett shows off the frames from the ducks’s first appearance (“Porky’s Duck Hunt”) that he drew. Before comparing it with Daffy’s strip tease from “The Wise Quacking Duck.” Since these two were so wonderful together, we are shown “My Favorite Duck.” Next they bring up Mel Blanc and his unfortunate carrot allergy, and how they tried every other vegetable they could. But only carrots sound like carrots. They show us “Hair-raising Hare” and immdiately afterwards show “The Old Grey Hare.” The end! The credits are also pretty funny. Look and see for yourself!
Bugs Bunny-Himself
Daffy-Daffy Duck
Porky-P-P-P-Porky P-P-Pig
Elmer Fudd-Elmer C. Fudd (Yes, I know his middle intial is really J)
I’ve been talking about shorts this guy directed for nearly all of 2015; why not talk about the man himself?
He was born as Francis Fredrick von Taschlein. Just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? He was much more well known as Frank Tash and Tish Tash. (Such a cool name.) The poor guy dropped out of high school at 13 and wandered from job to job. He worked on the TerryToons series, and eventually at Van Beuren Studios, but was still a drifter and left that. He came to the WB in 1933. In 1934, he began using his free time to draw a comic strip he titled, “Van Boring.” (Sticking it to the man are we? I like you.) He was fired soon after because he refused to give Leon Schlesinger a cut of his comic strip revenues. (Dang Leon, what’s your problem?)
So he then went to work for Ub Iwerks and after that, Hal Roach. He returned to the winning team in 1936 and continued to direct shorts. At one point though, he got into an argument with studio manager Henrey Binder and resigned. It was now 1938 and he went to go work in the story department at Disney. After that, he was the production manager at Columbia Pictures’ Screen Gems animation studio in 1941. He hired many of the ex-Disney staffers who left during the Disney animator’s strike. (They’ll be forever remembered as the clowns in “Dumbo”.) He then went on to launch “The Fox and the Crow” series, but after that he was fired over an argument with the Columbia executives. (Stop deja vu-ing.)
So like a boomerang, he returned to Warner Bros. in 1943. Only three years later, he would leave again, but this time for good. At least Bob McKimson took over his unit. After animation he went on to write gags for the Marx brothers and Lucille Ball. He began directing movies in 1951 starting with Bob Hope film “The Lemon Drop Kid” He would return to animation one more time in the 1960s when he would go to MGM to help produce the animated version of his story, “The Bear that Wasn’t.” He died on May 5, 1972 at the age of 59, after suffering a coronary. He may not have been my favorite director, but he was definitely a great one. He shall always be missed.
It must be Valentines Day in this short, because Cupid is joyously spreading love. I bet you didn’t know Elmer was cupid, did you? (His laughs are not supplied by the usual Arthur Q. Bryan, but rather by a one Frank Graham.) But this cupid doesn’t really seem to care about matching the right creatures together. Sure, he has a bird immediately grab a mate, (and build a house) and gets a stallion to jump out of his shoes, for a mare but he also has a dog fall for the cat he was about to eat. (The cat proceeds to shoot his nine lives away.) So, I guess Cupid’s a mad shipper.
Either way, Daffy is next on his agenda. But Daffy is not happy to see Cupid again. Yes, they have a history. Apparently the year before, Daffy was shot by one of Cupid’s love darts, (And I don’t mean the kind used by snails.) and ended up being shot gun married and having some ducklings. Yes, one has two heads. (You didn’t think Duckman was completely original did you?) Daffy uses Cupid’s bow to launch him away, but Cupid just giggles it off. He prepares a monstrous arrow and manages to hit the duck. The first creature that Daffy spots is (9, 10) a big fat hen.
He happily starts trying to hit on her. Emily (that’s really her name, I didn’t have to make one up this time.) is no whore, and runs away. Eventually, Daffy finds her in a closet and begins smooching. This would be a terrible time for Emily’s husband to show up. Just then, Emily’s husband shows up, and pries them apart. (Emily looks a little too calm kissing Daffy.) The rooster (let’s call him…Rocko) gets ready to pummel the duck when Daffy comes to his senses. He explains that it was Cupid’s fault and apologizes stating he’s a family man as well. (Bringing his family in for a cameo to prove it) Rocko is a kind soul, and forgives the duck letting him go.
Daffy is grateful and doesn’t notice Cupid is still out there. One shot later, and he jumps in between the chicken’s make out session. (And it fades out rather quickly. Apparently there was an original ending where Daffy said, “Don’t knock it till you try it!” Sorry Daffy, that’s not what I think of when I picture a hot chick.)
Directed by Frank Tash. (His first for Warner Bros.) Released in 1936
At the titular plant, a rooster rousts everyone out of bed. Porky included. He sets to work taking care of his birds. (This scene becomes less precious when you remember WHY poultry is raised. Sorry for ruining your happiness.) He has many chickens, ducks and geese and they are very hungry. Porky satisfies their cravings by giving them corn. One chick just can’t fight the rush. Porky pretends to throw a huge handful, and gives it all to the chick. He’s even willing to charm some worms out of the ground for the other chicks. Yes, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong here.
But sadly, Porky has lost several good hens. One was taken in June of 1936. (The same year Tashlin started at W.B) Another was named Dorothy. (Like Tashlin’s wife.) It seems they were all the victims of a hawk. (Looks more like an eagle to me.) Said hawk is actually cruising overhead, looking for tasty morsels. Porky rings the alarm and all the birds take cover. After the predator leaves, one hen realizes one of her chicks is missing. Yes it appears that the hawk did make off with little (lets call him) Chippy. Rather than letting nature take its course, Porky gets in his airplane and goes after him. Seriously though, if the hawk got the mother, than ALL the chicks would die. (Yes, I am glad Porky is so devoted to his birds.)
He manages to shoot off the buteo’s tail feathers and this causes it to call for reserves. Many hawks arrive and torture Porky by pulling his tail, and dropping eggs on him. (Uhhhhhh… That’s like a human… never mind. I’m not going there.) The battle goes into a cloud, where the birds get Porky’s gun away from him. They shoot and Porky goes down. All’s good though, he crashes into a windmill and gets a brand new propeller. Then for the best part: they start a game of football WITH the chick! (That is hilarious, cruel, and adorable all at once.) The rooster (Ted Pierce) narates everything.
After a few passes, one of the hawks fumbles. Porky gets Chippy back and expels some exhaust for the hawks to fly into. I don’t know if it kills them or knocks them out, but as they fall, the hens dig a hole for them to fall into, and bury them. So, they’re definitely dead now. Porky returns Chippy to his mother and all is well. OR IS IT? A shadow flies over the plant, sending the hen into hysterics. Porky readies his gun, but all IS well. The shadow belonged to the weather vane.
You know what this Sunday is? If you don’t then go look at a calendar.
Sorry. That was rude. (You may not even have a calendar.) It is Mother’s day. And one of the sweetest things to me, is the relationship between mother and child. How they are willing to die for them, and how the child sees the mother as essentially an almighty superhero, who can protect them from anything. I’m rambling. Let’s talk about a short dealing with such love.
It’s winter, and a duck (with teeth) is desperately trying to hatch some eggs. (She also has no name. I shall call her Ethel.) It is really cold, and the eggs have begun to turn blue. (The father was a smurf.) She holds them up to a light to see inside, and finds the soon to be ducklings sneezing, warming themselves by a stove, skating and skiing. (At least they’re not dead.) She does her best to keep them warm, but the poor things are below subzero! Time for drastic measures.
As much as it pains her, Ethel sticks her rump right up to a lantern. She’s in agony, but a true mother won’t let her children die, if she can help it. When she’s done, she goes over. The eggs hatch before she sits down. (“Don’t do it! We’ll come out.”) I guess it’s warmer outside than in an egg, so the new family heads down to the pond for a swim. Uh Oh! One egg didn’t hatch all the way. Craving warmth, the egg with legs goes off to find his mother. Ethel meanwhile, is doing a head count and finds that her little Robespierre (such a great name for any generation) is missing.
Finding his footprints, she follows them into the woods. Robespierre is nearly dead, but finds his mom wearing a fur coat. (A bear.) And he slips under “her.” The bear takes it rather well. (“So I laid an egg.”) But this was all seen by a hungry wolf. Wait, is that William? No, his mailbox says he is known as B. B. (So he’s a transvestite. Because Bebe? Forget it) He uses some TNT to blow the bear off, and happily takes his prize home. The bear takes it rather well. (“Dreams like this, worry me, ya know.”) B.B. runs into Ethel on his way back, and the two keep swiping Robespierre from the other. Eventually, Ethel gets home with a doorknob.
B.B. is preparing some egg drop soup, when Ethel returns and pokes his eyes through the key hole. She then rescues her son. Is he grateful? Heck no, he was finally getting warm. He dives back in.
