Author: Dr. Foolio

Posted on

No Barking

“Rr-Ar-ar-arar-ar-ar-ar!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

It’s sunrise at a beautiful landscape. (Or it’s a dump. Good trickery.) Claude Cat wakes up and whistles with a bluebird. Then he eats it. (If that’s too dark for you, two more birds drop a brick on him and eject their friend.) With that breakfast ruined, Claude sets his sights on a bone that a puppy has just buried. This is Frisky. I’m not giving him his own post, because he doesn’t fit my five appearance rule. Basically he’s a puppy, he’s frisky, and he sorta looks like Charlie, just with a shorter more dog like body, and longer ears.

As soon as Claude goes for the goods Frisky barks and sends the cat jumping out of fright. He gets tortured like this all through the picture. (At one point he does the run leaving things floating in midair gag. Just like Jones had done with Witch Hazel and the bull. Theirs being bobby pins and hooves,m Claude’s is paw prints.) Claude chases Frisky into a pipe but the dog’s bark has him jump and land out of the sewer. (The manhole lands on him.) After some typical puppy activities, (barking at a mirror, scratching, tugging on a rope) Frisky barks again and scares Claude into jumping in some lumber. Claude gives up trying to get even, and goes back to his hunting.

He hunts a bird which turns out to be Tweety. (A Freleng character in a Jones short? Freleng did something similar with a Jones character in “Dog Pounded”.) Frisky barks again and now Claude’s had enough. He stuffs a sock to make a decoy tail and Frisky goes for the bait. Claude grabs him, ties him up and gags him. Walking off he gets barked at by a bulldog, (I’ll just assume it’s Marc Antony) and jumps up onto a plane. Tweety watches as it flies off into the sunset.

Personal Rating: 3

Posted on

Birds Anonymous

“If you really want to beat this, look us up. We can help you.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

It’s another Oscar Winner! It’s the third time Sylvester’s been in one of those! This was Blanc’s favorite short he did voices for! (And if my research is correct, it was originally supposed to be called “Tweety-Totaler”. A more clever title, but a bit harder to take seriously.)

Inside a house, Sylvester carefully closes all the window blinds so there are no witnesses for what’s about to happen. He grabs Tweety quite easily. (Granny’s not in this short. Neither are any guard dogs.) He doesn’t eat him, as another cat (who would later be named Clarence) warns of the perils. Apparently, Birds are a cats alcohol and they have a group that can help break the habit. Sylvester attends a meeting and vows to do the same.

He returns home and cheerfully greets Tweety with a friendly pat on the head. (“Deaw Diawy, I know you won’t bewieve this but…”) Sylvester turns on the television. Surprise! It’s a cooking show describing how to make delicious poultry. (It never specifies WHAT bird it is. It could be a hoatzin.) Sylvester fights his urges and tries the radio. Of course, it’s only playing alliterative avian albums. (“Bye Bye Blackbird”, “Red Red Robin”, No, Hungry Hungry Heorn, unfortunately.)

He handcuffs himself to a radiator, (why were those cuffs in the kitchen?) but manages to break free after Tweety asks if he likes him anymore. Clarence arrives to shoot a plunger in his face. (“I was afraid you might be weakening.”) At night, Sylvester can’t sleep and runs to Tweety, planning to quit after just one more. Clarence pours alum into his mouth, thus making it impossible for him to shove Tweety in.. He breaks down, and Clarence tells him that it’s really easy to get along with your prey. He kisses Tweety and manages to get a taste of him as well. Clarence is now trying to eat the canary while Sylvester tries to stop him.

Personal Rating: 5 (For Mel’s godly voice acting.)

Posted on

Steal Wool

“Mornin’ Ralph.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

Good morning! Sam Sheepdog has just woken up and is on his way to work. On the way, he greets his good pal, Ralph Wolf. (Named after one of the story boarders at the time.) They walk together and wish each other luck and take up their positions. Sam begins to guard, Ralph prepares to steal (wool). He crawls under a sheep and carries it away, only to run into Sam, who pounds him. Digging underground, Ralph tries a lasso and unknowingly catches Sam.

He builds a TNT bridge and taunts Sam. Sam crosses and Ralph goes back the other way, lighting the fuse. Sam is already at the other end and demands the sheep Ralph has. Ralph gives and goes back to put out the fuse, unaware that Sam lit his end too. Ralph tries a seesaw to fling Sam away, but the dog is too heavy and Ralph flies into his arms. Sam flings Ralph.

Finally, Ralph gets a giant rubber band, attaches it to two boulders, and pulls back, aiming at Sam. Instead, the boulders come loose and fly after Ralph, who runs between a narrow cliff. The rocks catch on the sides and the band threatens to launch Ralph away. Ralph grabs onto a tree and the rocks finally squeeze through the opening, and Ralph ends up against another cliff, with all the debris smashing into him. Later, as the two pals walk home, (Ralph with a sling and black eye) Sam tells him to take the next day off. He’s been working too hard and Sam can handle both jobs. Ralph thanks his friend and stumbles home.

Personal Rating: 4

Posted on

Falling Hare

“Hey, I bet that was… say, do you think that… hey, could thata been a… gremlin?”

Directed by Robert Clampett

Originally, this short was to be called “Bugs Bunny and the gremlin” but Disney told them to stop, as they were making a film called “The Gremlins” based on a book by the amazing Roald Dahl and they alone had the naming rights. That never happened. At least the gremlins would appear in Epic Mickey. What am I doing? As I was saying…

At a U.S. army air field, Bugs is reading atop a bomb. He laughs at the thought of gremlins and their “die-a-bull-icall sab-o-tay-gee.” The bomb he is on starts shaking and Bugs looks at the source. It’s a tiny creature trying to set off the bomb Bugs is on. Bugs suggests he give it a try and only stops at the last moment. Bugs realizes that was a gremlin and gives chase. The gremlin hits him over the head with a mallet and leads him onto one of the planes. While Bugs is searching for him, he starts the plane up. He taunts Bug’s from behind a door (with an unbelievably funny laugh) and Bugs charges time and time again to get at him.

The gremlin opens the door eventually and Bugs runs out of the plane. (Briefly becoming a jack@$$.) He hurries back to the plane and slips out the other door thanks to the banana peels the gremlin left for him. Bug’s manages to stay in the plane, but the gremlin is now trying to crash into some skyscrapers. Bugs narrowly avoids a collision but the plane is now in a nosedive. Bugs completely loses it while the gremlin couldn’t care less. (I guess he doesn’t mind dying. Or he’s invincible?) The plane gets up to “incredible ain’t it?” miles per hour and the wings burn off. Then, a few feet off the ground, the plane stops in midair. The two characters apologize for running out of gas. Dang A cards.

Personal Rating: 4

Posted on

Draftee Daffy

“♪Oh the little man from the dra-aft board is coming to see me!♪”

Directed by Robert Clampett

Daffy is reading the paper and is happy to learn that the U.S. is doing great. (WWII) He dances around and sings patriotic songs. His number is interrupted by a call from the president. The duck’s being drafted. Daffy loses all of his vigor and cries. He tries to keep a look out for the little man who will deliver his letter, but he’s already there. (The little guy is strangely cute. I want a plush toy of him.) Daffy barricades the door and peeks out the upstairs window. He’s there. Daffy puts on a disguise and peeks again. He’s there wearing the same disguise.

Daffy packs up, calls for a flight to the North Pole, and runs to other door of his. The little man is there. Daffy hides in the closet. He’s in there. (Daffy reacts twice to this.) Daffy bolts, leaving the little man with a bomb. The man returns it. After the explosion, Daffy takes drastic measures. He locks the man in a safe, builds a house’s wall around him, and hops on a rocket that is to only be used in case of induction. His ride is a short one and he dies and goes to hell. (For avoiding the draft, I guess.)

Daffy is happy though, as he is rid of the little man. But remember: this is hell. It’s designed to be your worst nightmare. And Daffy’s is having the man around. He chases Daffy (while still holding the letter) into the fiery distance.

Personal Rating: 4

Posted on

A Gruesome Twosome

“Have you two putty-tats met?”

Directed by Bob Clampett

From the title alone, you’d probably never guess this is a Tweety short.

This is the last short with Tweety Clampett directed, and the last one where Tweety is naked. (He may be yellow, but he’s still got no feathers.) Apparently, it’s mating season for cat statues. (Yes, I know that the shadows don’t have to be animated) One female, who actually is pretty hot (and from an avid cat hater, that’s some compliment) has two suitors: A pot-bellied dolt nicknamed Snooks, and a horny Jimmy Durante cat. (None seem like ideal mates to me, but hey, she’s pretty nice to give them a chance.)

While they fight over her, a random dog pops up informing us that he does not belong in the short, but he’s not missing a chance to steal her kiss. My favorite part. Not wanting the titular twosome to fight over her, she tells them that the first one to bring her a bird will win her. (No specific bird? Would a plastic flamingo count?) The two both climb the same telephone pole (oblivious to each other) and find the same bird, Tweety. Upon noticing each other, they fight and Tweety causes them to fall and explode. (Cats do that, right?)

Jimmy decides they’ll have to work together if they want the naked genius. (I’m sure they are both planning a double cross) Their plan? Dress up as the most ridiculous horse in all history. (AKA the phony pony) Tweety isn’t fooled. In fact, he takes a bee out of his… pocket?, (So Tweety’s a marsupial?) slaps it around and shoves it in the costume. Making like the Lone Ranger he has a fun ride, until the cats crash into a tree.

While discussing another plan, Tweety takes a bone belonging to a bulldog, smashes him over the head, and tossing the bone into the costume. The dog runs into it and I’m pretty sure he ends up killing those two gruesomes. Tweety ends the film with his own Durante impression.

Personal Rating: 4

Posted on

Daffy Duck and Egghead

“I’m not crazy, I just don’t give a darn!”

Directed by Tex Avery

Only his second appearance and Daffy is already funnier than most people on TV today.

Before the credits even begin, we see two walnuts. Daffy and Egghead each pop out of one, setting the scene. Egghead is hunting and is quite annoyed when a theater-goer won’t sit down. Egghead politely asks him to sit. He won’t. Egghead shoots him. He hears quacking, and pulls back the reeds to receive a bill bite to the nose. Daffy has joined the picture. Egghead winds up a duck decoy and lets “her” go towards Daffy. He is not amused and throws it back along with a sign. (“Ta’int funny, Mcgee!”)

A random turtle encourages them to duel which Daffy cheats at and gets the turtle shot. Daffy then puts an apple on his head for Egghead to shoot off. Egghead continuously misses. Daffy goes right up to the barrel of the gun and Egghead STILL misses. Daffy gives him a cup of pens, sunglasses, and a “blind” sign. (“Too bad, too bad.”) Daffy leaves to sing “Merry go round broke down” with his reflection.

Egghead fires at Daffy again, but Daffy pulls out a frightening mask, that has the bullets hiding back in the gun. Egghead stuffs some gloves into the gun’s barrel, attaches them to a fishing line and fires. The gloves knock Daffy out and bring back Egghead’s prize. He’s elated. Just then a truck from the insane asylum arrives. The driver takes Daffy and thanks Eggy for the help. Apparently, they’ve been hunting him for awhile now. The key word is “apparently”. The doctor is just as crazy as Daffy and the two “Hoo-hoo” into the sunset. Egghead snaps and joins them.

On a unrelated topic: R.I.P. Bob Hoskins. You were my favorite live-action actor in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”

Personal Rating: 4

Posted on

Egghead

Just like Bugs, there was also a proto-Elmer. Just like the proto-Bugs, I consider this fellow a completely different character than the newer incarnation.

Egghead is a little man with a huge bulbous nose. His voice being similar to Joe Penner’s. He eventually would become Elmer. Heck, in one short he was called Elmer Fudd. Egghead may have fallen into obscurity but he can still be fondly remembered. (By some of us.) He stars in “Cinderella meets fella” which is one of “The 100 greatest Looney Tunes.” He also appeared briefly in “Looney Tunes back in Action.” Not only that, but he was in the brilliant “A day at the zoo,” “The Turn-tale wolf,” and our topic for next time: (which will be Friday. I wont make you wait too long) “Daffy Duck and Egghead.”

Posted on

Super Rabbit

“If thar’s anything I hate more than a rabbit, it’s two rabbits.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

In a typical Superman opening, Bugs demonstrates his abilities. We go into his origin story and see Bugs began as a lab animal. Professor Canafrazz (voiced by Kent Rogers) has just created a super carrot. He gives it to Bugs who devours it happily. The prof. tells Bugs that now he has superpowers. Hearing this, Bugs pulls out a newspaper clipping about a man named Cottontail Smith. He’s is in the middle of removing all rabbits from Texas. (I assume that includes hares too.) Grabbing some extra carrots and a costume, Bugs takes off.

As he flies he passes by a random horse (?) and recharges with another carrot. Seems the effects are only temporary. Digest and it’s gone. He lands at Deepinaharta Texas right in the middle of a rabbit stampede. He pulls a Clark Kent and disguises himself just as the villain arrives. Bugs follows along asking what’s going on, while constantly having Smith switch poses. After Smith has taken the place of the horse (and had a feedbag) he realizes what Bugs is. Bugs allows him a shot but he’s bulletproof. He let’s Smith try a cannon. After Bugs quickly recharges he allows Smith to fire. Bugs catches the cannonball and has a quick game of basketball. He even gets his enemies to cheer.  (I just want to point out that my brother who has no real interest in Looney Tunes, constantly chants their cheer. He’s weakening.)

Bugs flies off to think of more tricks. Smith and his horse follow in a plane and charge at Bugs. He simply grabs their plane, thus allowing the momentum to fling the two away. (They also fall back to Earth rather calmly.) Bugs tries to refuel again, but drops the carrots and plummets down himself. He finds that Smith and the horse ate the carrots and are now vastly superior. Bugs figures it’s time for a real super man. He goes into a phone booth and comes out dressed as a marine. With no more time for play he heads out to do his patriotic duty. Off to Berlin!

Bugs really would join the U.S. army as a private. He left many years later as a sergeant.

Personal Rating: 3

Posted on

Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur

“Well, I’ll bet you’re cranky before breakfast, too.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

Happy Birthday to Me! (Tomorrow.) Let’s celebrate with another Looney Tunes short! (I love those.)

As it begins, there is a disclaimer that there is no reason that this short takes place in prehistoric times. It just does. We see our host for this short, Casper Caveman. (I said ‘Casper’ not ‘Captain’.) He’s hungry and that means it’s time to go hunting. After calling for Fido, his pet sauropod. (Heck if I know what species he is!) Coming to a lake, he spies half of the cartoon’s namesake. He decides to eat this duck as it’s his favorite vegetable.

Casper slings a rock at Daffy, but he easily avoids it and gets it to hit Fido in the head. Daffy is safe in the water as there is no swimming allowed. (For cavemen, not ducks.) Casper decides to try elsewhere. (Remember me saying I saw a clip of “Corny Concerto” on Bill Nye? I saw clip of this one on the show too. Of course, I was the only kid in the class who knew that. It’s hard to be me.)

Daffy paints himself on a rock and when Casper clubs it, it gives him a monster headache. Daffy cures him and Casper (quite graciously) puts out a hand to shake. Daffy instead gives him a card advertising the best duck ever! Free to be eaten even! Casper follows many signs only to arrive at a ginormous duck. Really just an inflatable, courtesy of Daffy. (Where he got that had better not be your biggest question.) Casper sums up his courage and stabs it. KABLOOMER! The resulting explosion ends up killing Fido, Casper, and Daffy. (Check it out! Casper the ghost!) Daffy wonders if that was his best idea.

Personal Rating: 3