Person to Bunny

“It ain’t much of a hutch, but it’s home.”

Bugsy pal! There’s a friend here to see ya!

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Art Davis, Gerry Chiniquy, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 1, 1960.

(Not gonna lie. I always get this one confused with “People are Bunny“.)

Person to Person with Edward Murrow will not be airing today. His poor, unloved brother, Edward Burrows, really wanted a chance to host a show and we couldn’t say no to his face. He looks like a quoll, and they can get away with anything. (In case you’re wondering, his last name is different because he’s adopted.) It might not be a good idea from a business standpoint, but he knows how to do it: interview somebody that is known the world over. How about the biggest rabbit in show biz, Bugs?

Bugs accepts, and his hole is now littered with studio lights and cameras. Two-way cameras, it seems. Bugs can see his interviewer even if we can’t. (Well, you can’t. I already described what he looks like.) The interview has barely started when Daffy comes knocking at the door. He seems to have been unaware of Bugs’s day, but, no, he’s probably just being coy. This is being broadcast live, isn’t it? And he tells Burrows that he watches the show. It all adds up.

Surprisingly, Bugs isn’t having it today. He almost never loses his cool with Daffy. Least not so early in the cartoon. Perhaps because the duck is footage-bombing this time? He drags him out, much to Daffy’s chagrin. First question for Bugs: how is he able to outwit someone as intelligent; as brainy; as genius as Elmer J. Fudd? Bugs is blunt. He claims that Fudd is none of those things. In fact, his exact words are that “His I.Q. is P.U.” That’s a really good jab. If my autistic brain would let me say “P.U.” out loud, I’d be using it.

Daffy isn’t the only fan of the show. Elmer saw and heard the whole thing and isn’t happy. He arrives as Bugs’s place calling him to appear, or be labeled a coward. Sounds serious. Bugs puts things on hold to handle this, giving Daffy a chance to go ham in Burrow’s off screen face. Elmer demands an apology. And, yeah, he kind of deserves it. Isn’t this short suggesting that they are aware they are co-stars making pictures together? Is Bugs always so hostile off the set? I used to look up to you, man. Er, lagomorph.

Bugs sticks to his guns by plugging Elmer’s with his carrot. Going back down, he finds what Daffy has been up to. With Elmer right outside the door, Bugs attempts to kill one bird with one stone by suggesting Daffy perform in front of the zoom-r lens. Being Fudd’s rifle, Daffy gets his beak bent for the umpteenth time. Unamused, Daffy claims that Bugs isn’t special. Anyone could do his shtick if they have a rabbit outfit and a carrot. He demonstrates, and Elmer mistakes him for the real thing.

Daffy corrects the mistake, and Bugs leads Elmer off his property in a chase. Once again, Daffy takes the spotlight. This time to reuse some footage from “Show Biz Bugs”. Bugs gets rid of Elmer with one of his best gags that we haven’t seen since “The Big Snooze“. The one where Elmer chases him through a log, and Bugs pushes one of its ends over a cliff. Sadly, they don’t go all the way. Elmer just sits in the log confused after the second attempt. That’s not nearly as funny. And the opposite of comedy is tragedy, so I guess you better start crying.

Back home, Bugs once again finds Daffy was actually calling the kettle black when he called Bugs a camera hog. Bugs decides that the only way to get rid of him is to let him perform. Daffy is delighted and asks if his friends will see him. What friends? Porky? Or….

Do you mean Porky?

Bugs lets him know that his friends are just a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the people who will be watching. The normal viewing audience for this show is at minimum four million. Since Bugs gets to act different today, Daffy demands he get to as well. He faints upon hearing that number. Too bad we’re out of time. I didn’t get to ask Bugs my question. (Do you have any footage for “Bye, Bye, Bunny” that I can view?)

Favorite Part: When Daffy’s bill is bent upward. Not only does he look super pissed, but his voice sounds all muffly. And speaking of voices…

Personal Rating: 3

Actually, I was going to ask that you take off your hats in reverence for the last time we would hear Arthur Q. Bryan’s perform as Fudd. He was sadly dead by the time this one came out, and we’ve never had a better performance. (Though, I always thought Billy West came the closest.)

Bugsy and Mugsy

“Now you’re mad at me again.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Gerry Chiniquy and Art Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Boris Gorelick; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling and Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on August 31, 1957.

You may remember that I had problems with “S.4A.M.” But that’s okay because when Fred visited me back in 2011, I made sure to tell him to tell Friz that if he should ever direct a short like that, he should remake it seven years later. Thus, our current timeline. Sure, it changed history to make it so any attempts at saving Lonesome George were futile, but in the end wasn’t it worth it? No, but at least this picture fixed its predecessor’s problems.

Heavy rainfall has caused Bugs to take temporary leave of his burrow and relocate to the drier confines of an abandoned building. But only abandoned for so long, as Rocky and Mugsy decide to use this place as  a hideout while the cops hunt. All-around good guy and advocate for anybody suffering from karat theft, Bugs takes it upon himself to teach the scoundrels a thing or… actually, he’ll stick with that one thing. Crime doesn’t pay, buckos. Get ready for a hardcore teaching.

While the thieves sleep, Bugs places a phone speaker near Rocky and berates his naivety. Really? You’d leave all those jewels laying around with Mugsy right there on the couch? He may act dumb, but he can get ideas. Rocky slaps the big guy around for that, despite Mugsy’s claim that he doesn’t get ideas. His brain isn’t that developed. Rocky may act placated, but once you plant a doubt seed, it doesn’t die. I suppose you could send a doubt gopher after it, but those don’t move out.

To fertilize that seed, Bugs plants an axe in the sleeping Mugsy’s grasp and warns Rocky that falling asleep wouldn’t be very conducive to survival at this point. The boss gets the weapon and takes the first swipe. Good thing Mugsy gets this kind of abuse on a daily basis. He sees Rocky’s action as nothing more than a joke, but still needs to wear his replacement hat from now on. He’s also a little jumpy from here on out. (Good attention to detail keeping the couch still busted in the next scene.)

Bugs next begins to unscrew a chandelier over Rocky who I’m surprised could fall asleep by this point. Burglary must really take it out of you. (That would explain why the Hamburglar slept for about 20 years.) Mugsy notices this and rushes to get a screwdriver of his own. (Oh. The couch is repaired now. Never mind. This cartoon is ruined.) He gets in place just as Bugs finishes. What a terrible spot to be found in without context.

To put his mind at ease, Rocky hogties Mugsy, and throws him into a different room. Still, those nerves will be jumpy for the rest of the night I’d wager. He catches sight of the saw cutting through the floor at this feet, and Bugs puts the offending article in Mugsy’s grasp. There’s pretty much no way he could explain himself now. Not that’d he do a very articulate job, anyway. The damage is done, and Rocky refuses to sleep anymore. Time to finish things up.

Bugs fits Mugs with some skates, and controls him via horseshoe magnet. He tugs the big lug into Rocky’s mug, who punches him back. So Bugs keeps it up. So Rocky keeps it up. This creates a lot of noise, and it’s not long before the popo pulls up. On their way to jail/prison, Rocky wonders how they were ever found out. Noise, sure, but it was an abando building. Those things always have creepy unexplained noises lurking within. (My money’s on doubt gophers.) It wasn’t brilliant detective work; Bugs labeled the place as their hideout in light-up letters and neon trim. Very artsy.

Favorite Part: A good rule of comedy is to have a quiet character make a drastic shift in volume. Rocky does this when he catches Mugsy with the saw. “I don’t know how youse done it, but I know YOUSE DONE IT!”

Personal Rating: First, why I think this short improves on its forebear. First: The two made to break up are criminals, so they kind of deserve to be punished. Wait, no ‘kind of’. The real world should really adhere to that. Second: There’s no beautiful friendship that Bugs is ruining, despite what Mugsy thinks. Rocky does not see him as an equal. Third: In this short’s continuity, they haven’t met Bugs yet, so I’m not asking why they wouldn’t think he might be behind everything. Improvements across the board. 3.

Yankee Doodle Bugs

“You’d better hop along, Cassidy.”

There’s no use changing the history books for little ole him.

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animatin by Art Davis, Manuel Perez, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on August 28, 1954.

As animated series like “School House Rock”, “The Magic School Bus”, and “Animaland” can attest, learning doesn’t have to suck. Therefore, I for one propose that Bugs teach us about American History. Because the country’s birthiversary is this upcoming week, and if you don’t know anything about who/what you’re celebrating, then brother, you’re hardly celebrating at all.

It starts when his nephew, Clyde is struggling to learn about the past. (I’ve discussed Clyde before, but this is his final theatrical appearance.) Wouldn’t be that much of a big deal, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s going to have a test on the subject later today. (That and his books blend into the carpet.) Bugs offers to help. (Clyde: “Do you *half a second pause* know about American history, Uncle Bugs?”) Turns out history is loaded with rabbits. They’ve been involved with Columbus, Napoleon, Nazi Germany, The 1943 Oscars, and the invention of gunpowder. You can quote me on this because I’m a valuable resource.

Bugs starts when the Dutch bought New York for a song. And I mean that in the punniest fashion. The Native Chief got a really good deal. Then pretty much nothing happened for over a hundred years until Benjamin Franklin *clears throat* “discovered” electricity. It was all thanks to the rabbit who held his kite just as lightning struck it. Ben took the credit, because taking the credit is mankind’s greatest invention.

Then a war was set to happen because The King put tacks on the tea. (Punniest. Way.) This could not be stood for, so an army was drafted. The backgrounds have a U.P.A. minimalistic design that goes all the way when we get to George Washington. They’re so minimal, that they cease to exist! Don’t walk into the void, George! It’s probably dangerous! I don’t see any food, for one thing. Wait. He’s fine. It’ll be a bit of a struggle to leave his candy shop, but his wife will just have to handle it herself until he wins independence.

If this is going to be its own country, it’s going to need a flag. A woman named Betsy Ross was assigned the task of sewing it up. She’s got six red stripes that represents all the blood that will be spillt, five white ones that represent the skin tone of the generals, and a blue section that is supposed to be the ocean, which the country will be surrounded by, some day. A rabbit gave her the idea for a finishing touch after he stepped on a rake and saw ten stars. Never having learned to count, she added thirteen.

It was a bitter fight. Cold winters made ice cream men enemies of the sate. What have we become? War truly changes a man. Eventually though, the enemy fleet was bottled up. (Pun. Knee. Est.) Once Washington crossed the Delaware River, victory was won. Simple as that. And that was pretty much everything that happened between then and 1954. This is a very boring country. The next thing worth noting would be Disneyland opening the following year.

Perfect timing! The school bell is chiming and Clyde’s got a test to ace. Bugs is such a good uncle. A guncle, if you will. When school lets out, Clyde comes back angrily glaring. It’s quite funny. Bugs can’t figure out why he’d be scowling like this, so Clyde spells it out for him: D-U-N-C-E C-A-P. I’m sorry kid, but penmanship counts.

Favorite Part: The king is really getting his jollies when he puts tacks on the tea. It’s good to see leaders put the riot in dictator.

Personal Rating: 2. I did say punniest, rather than funniest. I just don’t feel like the jokes were powerful enough. They could have gone farther, but then I guess it would have ended with Clyde getting sent to Special Ed. (Because that’s how they’d handle it at the time, thank you.)

Bedevilled Rabbit

“Where in Tasmania’s Tasmania?”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by George Grandpre, Ted Bonnicksen, and Keith Darling; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 13, 1957.

Hey, when was the last time I discussed one of Taz’s shorts? Year one? I guess I can tell you my dark secret: I think “Tales of Earthsea” is a great film. Wait, I meant the other one: out of the Tunes’ main cast, Taz is my least favorite. That dosen’t mean I hate him because I don’t! If you can spare me a paragraph or two, I’ll explain my feelings on the guy. Like I should’ve done in year one.

First, the good. And it outweighs the bad. I love his design. Asking people who’ve never heard of Sarcophilus harrisii to just draw what comes to mind when they hear ‘Tasmanian Devil’ is brilliant, if zoologically inaccurate. And he helps introduce people to a lesser-known species. (Pretty sure I knew of him before the real deal.) And his means of locomotion. Becoming a dust devil is one of the most originally unique things I’ve ever heard of. You don’t get imagination like that every day! And marsupials definitely do this!

I couldn’t think of a third example.

The bad? Let’s be real, he kind of is a flat character. His one note is being a wild animal, and he does it great! And his voice. Maybe I can blame my autism, but I’m not a big fan of his shrieking snarls and raspberries. But I can appreciate how much funnier it makes it when he says something coherent. For me, Taz works best in small doses. He’s like mustard. Makes the whole dish better, but I can’t stomach a pudding-cup full. Let’s finally get started.

A crate of carrots are being air-dropped to Tasmania. It’s a pretty moronic way to send mail, but I’ve heard the wildlife is very dangerous, and I don’t think the insurance can cover any more casualties. Bugs made the mistake of sleeping in the patch these carrots were harvested from, and wakes to a whole new locale. But it has eerily similar stampedes to ones he saw in… where did the previous short take place?

He’s able to get a crocodile to stop and tell him what all the fear is about. Even though the reptile folds himself into a traveling case, he still dispenses a pamphlet that will answer all. (B. the B., I don’t think your disguise will help. “Animal-in-origin” means it still has some of the original flavor.) The informational booklet gets right to the point and warns tourists of the Tasmanian Devil. Ferocious, dangerous, and continuously hungry; not to mention it eats just about the entirety of the animal kingdom. Bugs isn’t entirely convinced such a beast even exists.

Well, speak of that devil! He’s gotten taller than I last saw him! He’s recycled animationing his way over right now. (It’s fun to peruse Taz’s diet list. It suggests that he’s the reason we don’t see any unicorns, and has done what Wile E. will never do.) The pamphlet was saving it for last, but yes, rabbits are also a meal of choice. Ever the cool one, Bugs claims to be a monkey as that wasn’t one of the animals listed. (But probably only because there aren’t monkeys in Tasmania.)

Taz still gives chase, tearing every tree in the forest down a peg and a half. When Bugs thinks he’s rid of him, Taz grabs him by the ears. He’s not as dumb as you might think, as he questions why a monkey would have a rabbit’s tail. Fade-in on a trussed Bugs with an apple in his mouth. Classic presentation is always trendy! Since he’s not going anywhere, Taz takes some time to work on his salad side-dish. Sure, it’s leaning too heavily on toppings to be healthy, but the squirrels, raccoons, turtles, fish, and mice are the best parts! (Did Bugs have to watch them die?)

Bugs points out an important fact: salad doesn’t pair well with rabbit. Its best friend is a Wild Turkey Surprise. A dish he’d be happy to prepare if he was able to use his limbs. Taz is sold, and I can’t blame him. That sounds awesome! Shame that in this health-conscious world, Bugs decides to make it with artificial poultry: T.N.T. At least Taz still liked it. A little gas never hurt anyone. But he’s still mad. Still hungry? Has he realized Bugs pulled a fast one? Bugs needs a reason to duck into the nearby Trader Mac’s? All three it is!

Grabbing a box of lipstick, a broom, a dress and a bear trap, Bugs sets to making a disguise. Love the shopkeep’s expression. I choose to believe animals can’t talk in this picture, and he just saw a rabbit rob him. (Grab me one of those shrunken heads while you’re there, huh Bugs?) And that disguise? Probably his hottest one ever. And that’s coming from someone who isn’t even attracted to Tasmanian she-devils. Good thing that’s another species not on the approved foods list. Taz likes. Taz l-i-i-i-i-kes!

That jagged metal kiss only turns him on fiercer. But wait, if his first cartoon is to be believed then isn’t he…? Yep. Still married. The Mrs. is none too pleased to find him cheating on her. (His name is Claude?) That rotten pamphlet! It can’t even correctly state what the scariest animal is! Same as everywhere else, it’s a woman scorned.

Favorite Part: In traditional cartoon fashion, Taz makes a wide variety of sounds when he sees an attractive body. The tiny “rowr” is the best part!

Personal Rating: 3.

Racketeer Rabbit

Oohh, Rocky’s really mad now!”

“I sorta look like Eddie Robinson, don’t I?”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Manny Perez, Ken Champin and Virgil Ross; Layouts and Backgrounds by Hawley Pratt and Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on September 14, 1946.

Since it’s raining, Bugs is opting to hunker down in an abandoned house for the night. Still, rabbits is rabbits and he digs a hole in the middle of the floor for his room. (Adding a doorknob just so he has something to hang the ‘Do not disturb’ sign on is a great touch.) Things don’t stay so quiet for long, as a pair of gangsters are speeding this way on the run from a rival gang. Gunfire is exchanged, but Bugs hardly notices. Nonchalantly ducking the flying bullets as he gets a drink.

You might be calling the gangsters Edward and Peter. Stop that. Only I get to give characters names around here. Besides, they’re already supplied. The smallish one is Hugo and the bigger one is Rocky. Some say this is technically the first appearance of our usual Rocky. I don’t. Rocky is a typical tough-guy name for a gangster, so why not use it for more than one of them? Time to divide the loot. Though Rocky is being slightly underhanded about dividing equally, he does still believe in giving some to every party. When Bugs sleepily asks his usual ‘what’s up?’, Rocky hands him his share.

Bugs doesn’t miss a beat. Donning hats as fast as an animated rabbit can, he poses as six other people to clean Rocky out of the remaining clams. He tries to leave, but Rocky isn’t so fooled and marches him back at gunpoint. He’s gonna tell exactly where he put the loot, but Bugs plays hardball until gun violence is threatened. Now his blabbing can’t be stopped, and its hurting the crooks’ eardrums. Only one thing to do now: take the rabbit for a “little ride”. Bugs happily obliges, and he and Hugo drive away.

One returns. Rocky asks if he got rid of him, and Bugs says yes, he won’t be bothering them again. And that’s all Hugo wrote. We never see him again! 40’s Bugs is so awesome. Terrifying and merciless, but mostly awesome. Good thing Rocky has said his prayers. When made aware of his lost partner, Rocky threatens to end Bugs. Hilariously enough, asking Bugs to help him get dressed while doing so. He demands the dough, and Bugs finally gives in, stipulating that Rocky cover his eyes so the hiding place can remain secret.

Rocky agrees to ten seconds sightless, which is all Bugs needs to mix flour, milk and an egg and give him the dough as all Toons do. (Wait, wouldn’t it be a batter by this point?) Bugs next appears in guise as a gangster named “Mugsy”, and if you’re going to consider the caricature to be Rocky’s first appearance, then I see no reason why this can’t be Mugsy’s. He tells Rocky it’s curtains for him. And they are darling. But Bugs is already on to his next guise: the police demanding Rocky give up.

Bugs dashes back to Rocky who begs for a hiding place. Bugs sticks him in a trunk with orders to stay quiet while he handles things. He tells his cop persona that Rocky is most definitely NOT in the trunk, because he wouldn’t be sticking swords through it if he was. See my earlier merciless statement. The “cop” says he’s taking Rocky with him, and drags the trunk down the stairs. Bugs responds by dragging it back up. He promises to take the cop on bare-handed, asking Rocky hold a clock while he does so. Huh. Sorta looks like a bomb.

Explodes like one too. Bugs declares the danger gone, but Rocky has wisened up, see? Yeah, he runs after the faux popo pleading for safety from the terrifyingly merciless but mostly awesome bunny.

Favorite Part: The billboard the thugs drive by at first. Not the side advertising ‘Hotel Friz’ (where I vacation every year) but the opposite advertising ‘Krools smokes’. (Insert obligatory Donkey Kong reference.) What is the best slogan ever made for a product? ‘They’re awful but you can buy them’ Funny is always best when it’s true.

Personal Rating: 4.

This is a Life?

“Easthy sthomach. Don’t turn over.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen and Arthur Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 9, 1955.

That title is the title of my favorite show! It’s a program where they take someone from the audience, usually well known, and honor them by asking about their life story, showing some clips from their past, bringing on important people from their history, maybe even giving you a present at the end. Just in case it’s me this week, my guest stars will be named Richard, Megan, and Sabra. (The first two will not be pleased to interact with me again.) My gift can be every one of my characters as drawn by an animator I admire. Sally Cruikshank can do my self-insert, Tartakovsky can do the assassin, and Gooseworx can do the pogo-stick creature that has fingers coming out of its arms.

Drat my luck! Considering the celebs we got in the audience, I don’t fancy my chances. Granny, Bugs AND Daffy? I’ll be lucky to appear on the camera feed. Emcee Elmer says that our mystery guest is beloved in motion pictures, so that rules out me and Buddy. The person also is thoughtful of others, generous, charitable… Daffy is certain it’s none other than himself. Admitting that this constant praise would only be embarrassing if it wasn’t all true. And here comes Elmer now. Daffy happily introduces himself and tells Elmer that there’s much to tell. Don’t waste time talking to the rabbit next to him, just read out the name already!

So after Bugs is summoned to the stage, Elmer asks for him to start from the beginning. Bugs describes a scene he saw in “Fantasia” once. The Earth was young and tumultuous. Quakes and volcanoes abounded, but in a bit of water, life was starting out as microscopic blobs called protists. They probably used their flagella to kiss. That’s too far back for Elmer’s liking, so Bugs fast-forwards to 1947, when a hare was born in Manhattan.  We’re in a clip show after all. Shame Elmer cuts it after his first words. He wants to talk about the first time they met. Would that be “A Wild Hare” or “The Old Grey Hare“?

Guess I’m a pretty poor scholar. They first met in “Hare Do“. Duh! We just get to see Elmer lured over a cliff, before it’s time to move on. I love Bugs’s cheeky grin at remembering this. And Elmer’s book changes colors too. Elmer is a wizard. Time for a voice from Bugs’s past. It’s loud, gruff, rough, tough, devoid of fluff, buff, full of guff, a bit of huff, and that’s enough: it’s Yosemite Sam. Come to tell about the time Bugs was on his ship. Always a good idea to remember “Buccaneer Bunny“, but Sam never said it was a picture. Was he really a pirate in this continuity? Has he done hard prison time, then? Did he ever get another parrot?

Bugs is enjoying this trip through memory lane, but he’s the only one laughing. He even makes note of the time he threw lit matches in Sam’s powder room. Great callback! But the next two are total fabrications. Putting eels in their bed sounds kinda crass for Bugs, and covering them in cement is too dark. Elmer and Sam start plotting at this point, putting a lit bomb in a box for the bunny. Bugs takes it, but tries regifting once he hears it ticking. Do time bombs get lit fuses? A game of (extremely) hot potato erupts. Despite everything indicating the bomb was lit onstage and seen by everybody, Daffy decides to claim it for himself. Ah, but he probably had his eyes shut for most of it. Pleased to get what he claims is rightfully is, he explodes with happiness.

Favorite Part: Daffy complaining about his limelight being stolen by a nobody. While he rants, Granny starts looking for something. He correctly guess it’s her umbrella she wants, so he hands it to her. Glad to have it back, she smacks him. Almost makes me ignore the crazy eyes she has. Do the elderly enjoy crack?

Personal Rating: 3. I’m normally not so generous to the shorts that reuse clips, but the wrap around segment was enjoyable, took up most of the screen time, and showed a beautiful contrast of Bugs and Daffy’s egos.

A-lad-in his Lamp

“It’s too good to be true, but I’m here.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Phil DeLara, Manny Gould, John Carey, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Effects Animation by A.C. Gamer; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on October 23, 1948.

We human beings tend to be rather slobby. Throwing our trash wherever we please, not bothering to recycle, or in today’s rather specific case, burying garbage. While Bugs works on building a new home, he finds a lamp. Having never read even one of the 1001 tales, Bugs doesn’t immediately realize what power he now wields. Still, some use could be made out of it. Just needs a good shining.

Since, genies (or djinn if you prefer) usually exist in a liquid state, heating their vessels with your friction allows them to evaporate and escape. There. I just gave you a viable and logical explanation for why the rubbing always must be done. And, beating Disney to the punch by 46 years, the genie here is voiced by a celebrity: Jim Backus. He is grateful for the service and offers Bugs a wish. Just one, but that’s more than you got. You may think you’ve got Bugs figured out well enough that you can guess, but with the genie constantly interrupting him, he could be wishing for anything. You know, for fun, I’ll guess.

Hmmm… “much too small”… lessee here… Got it. Bugs originally was wishing for carrot seeds. It’d be smart to start his own garden if he’s going to be living in this new area. Next. “too delicate and ‘saunsitive'”… that’s a bit tougher, but I’m sure a college-dropout like me can solve this mystery. I’ll bet he was wishing for a gross of mini-Elmer’s to mess with. The genie is right, those poor guys wouldn’t last an hour. As for that last one, Bugs was probably wishing to be able to share screen time with Mickey Mouse and not have the multiverse blow up. I’m smart and you can applaud now.

Bugs finally gets a wish made. Not one, but TWO carrots! I don’t care if you think that’s a waste of a wish. I admire those who make simple wishes. That’s why if I ever had 3 wishes I’d want: 1. to lose the ichthiophobia, 2. get my children’s book published, 3. have a bunch of friends who’d want to make an animated series with me. Basic stuff. But why am I talking about 3 wishes? The genie never offered that. In fact, now that he gave Bugs what he asked for, Smokey (as Bugs refers to him) is planning to go home to Bagdad. (Sic.) Bugs wishes that he could visit that place, but that could never happ- hey wait a minute!

The two fly off. Since Bugs didn’t specify where he wanted to go, I’m assuming Smokey is just going to take him to his place. Either it’s changed since however many years has passed, or Smokey was just the family pet. (How did he get to America anyhow? Tectonic plates?) The person occupying the palace is a caliph known as Hassen (Sic.) Pheffer. He’s a little miffed about having a rabbit just fall out of the sky, but he’s the exact opposite about a certain lamp doing the same thing. Bugs claims it as his own, and a chase begins. You’d chase too. Admit it.

I don’t know why Bugs doesn’t think he can take this guy, but he wants some assistance. Smokey, though, is in no mood. Not helped by the fact that Bugs is summoning him during bath time and meal time. Bugs tries to make an escape via magic carpet, but those things are impossible to control. He zigs, he zags, he messes with the perspective. Look, there are clearly towers in the foreground, but Bugs doesn’t stay a relative size compared to them. It bothers me because if Bugs really was that giant, he wouldn’t have to run from Mr. Pheffer. He could go Caerbannog on the guy and not get any blood around his mouth.

And Smokey still isn’t any help. When Bugs tries a third time to get some aid, the genie was trying to score with one of those rare female genies that barely exist out of sitcoms. Pissed, he tells Bugs that there is going to be hell to pay should he be disturbed once more. And I’ve heard people get mad at him treating Bugs like that. Why? Unlike other genies, he’s not calling Bugs his master, so Bugs can’t really order him around. For that matter, genies are just natural pricks. Even the Robin Williams one tended to take very little seriously, even when ordered to do evil bidding, he makes like Chernabog. Entertaining, but could grate on your nerves if you’re not in a happy mood.

When Bugs crashes back down, the lamp falls into the caliphs eager hands. One rub-a-dub and he’ll get eternal happiness! That what he thinks. Smokey wasn’t making idle threats and we never see what he does exactly, but I have a feeling he crammed the man into the lamp. Breaking his bones into gelatin, his organs to offal butter, and his blood spraying through the spigot in the process. Pleased that he got to kill someone, he offers Bugs another wish. Which means he doesn’t care that an innocent man is dead now. Natural prick. Bugs, now aware of just how powerful the genie is, gets himself a hare-rem.

Favorite Part: During the chase, Bugs accidentally peeks into a room containing what he believes to be a harem. Hearing this, Smokey gleefully takes a peek to confirm the suspicions. These are the moments he wishes that everything below the belt wasn’t vapor. (And wishes that genies could grant their own wishes.)

Well, I’m getting pretty bored of life. Reckon I should visit Comic Con one more time. If you’ve ever wanted to meet me in person, this might be it because I can’t promise I’ll attend another one afterwards. Yes, I’ll really be cosplaying as the last of the dodos.

Personal Rating: 3

The Million Hare

“He probably thinkth he’s miles ahead of me.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Dave Detiege; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, Warren Batchelder, George Grandpre, and Keith Darling; Layouts and Backgrounds by Robert Gribbroek; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on April 6, 1963.

Bugs was quite the wealthy actor, back in the day. Just look at the setup on his TV antennae! Probably has ever channel available at the time. When he invites Daffy over for a vacation, all the duck wants to do is vegetate in front of the tube. That’s sorta like I was as a kid. Just replace ‘watch TV’ with ‘read all their books.’ Don’t look at me that way! They had more “Calvin and Hobbes” collections than I knew existed! Bugs is kinda against brain atrophy, but Daffy isn’t budging, so Bugs just joins in.

The program airing at the moment is called “Beat Your Buddy.” Don’t worry! It’s only as violent as one makes it. It goes like this: the host reaches into what is called a buddy barrel and pulls out D̶i̶d̶d̶y̶ K̶o̶n̶g̶  two names. The two mentioned on those scraps of paper must then race each other to the studio to claim their prize. Beautifully showing off the follies of man and how any one of us would probably kill our best pal for financial security. If networks could afford a show that would get sued every week, there’d be new episodes to this day.

Surprise, surprise! The two names drawn are Bugs and Daffy. And Daffy wastes no time getting started. He’s been preparing for this day all season. Bugs is slower, more amused than anything that the two were picked. And maybe confused? How are they getting the names? Just pushing a phone book through a deli slicer? What if you weren’t aware your name was called? Do they have cameramen that could fill you in? What if you really didn’t want to compete? What if one of the names drawn belonged to someone who was working on the show? What if I continued with the plot?

First obstacle is a lake. Daffy takes a motor boat, and when Bugs arrives he reattaches the rope tied to it to the pier. Maybe sabotaging Daffy intentionally, or not. Daffy and the motor rip through the boat, and go along under the water and ground before blasting into the air. Trying to work with this, Daffy tries to go forward, and immediately crashes into a tree. (Great timing.) By this time, Bugs has crossed the lake as well and hops along with springs on his feet. Does that count as cheating? Can you cheat at all if you started from the same place? Well, almost the same. Daffy was slightly farther from the finish then Bugs was.

Daffy takes a shortcut, which probably also isn’t cheating. And neither is trying to sabotage the other racer. Boosts those ratings. I do like how there’s just a key stone to remove in case you need to start an avalanche. You know, to make sure the rocks don’t fall on anybody? Except yourself, of course. Whoever thought this brilliant idea up, made sure the rocks would fall on top of the key stone puller. Bugs is ahead again. Daffy tries to use a tree to sling himself farther, which works for about all of two seconds before he crashes into a cliff face, and Bugs catches up again. Daffy is still able to run ahead, but because he doesn’t take his eyes off Bugs, he runs off the road. Bugs addresses the question I was asking the first time I viewed this: why doesn’t Daffy fly? (He’s forgotten he can.)

Bugs manages to get to the building the studio is in first. Just needs to make it to the top floor. Daffy plans to use a jet pack to get him up there first, but I think they still made it roughly the same time, as when Daffy flies back out, he’s got Bugs in his clutches. They fly through a china shop, hilariously breaking nothing, before they turn right around and do it properly. Emergency hos-pit stop…al. (Almost was clever.) Hey, I just thought of another question about this show! Does it have a time limit? I mean, I don’t know how long it would take to dress their injuries, but Daffy has a cast and cane, and Bugs is now in a wheelchair. Were viewers at home still enthralled?

It’s a good thing the studio building has elevators, so Bugs still has a chance. It’s a close call photo finish, but, yes, Daffy wins! He actually won! Actually… Bugs doesn’t really have a good “track record” for races, does he? Daffy asks for his prize and he gets it: it’s called a ‘million box.’ It’s called that because it has 1,000,000 little boxes inside! (Although, I did some multiplication and estimating, and have concluded that there’s really only a little more than 7,000 in there. Better get your lawsuit on.) Daffy proves what a good friend he is by opting to donate his prize to Bugs. That’s the sign of a real, honest and true buddy, seeing as each of the little boxes had a dollar inside. When asked to say more, Daffy can only bray. Looks like Bugs can upgrade his television again!

Favorite Part: Listen closely to the host when he explains what little rules this show has. I purposefully didn’t mention it earlier, but he really does say you stand to win “the million box.” It’s not his fault Daffy misheard.

Personal Rating: 3

Compressed Hare

“You are game, aren’t you?”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Director: Maurice Noble; Story by Dave Detiege; Animation by Ken Harris, Richard Thompson, Bob Bransford, and Tom Ray; Assistant Layout: Corny Cole; (Great name.) Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard and William Butler; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 29, 1961.

Wile E.’s latest scheme has him leaving a phone in front of Bugs’s hole and giving him a call. Wile E. states that he is the new neighbor, and could really use a cup of carrots for a stew he’s making. Ever the agreeable sort, Bugs complies. Of course, upon knocking on the door, Wile E. grabs him and ties him up. Ever the unflappable sort, Bugs doesn’t worry at all. He goes as far as to hold down the rope so Wile E. can tie a bow, and uses his ears to flavor the broth.

Still, his kindness has its limits, and he has to decline a stay for lunch. Wile E. isn’t letting him go, so Bugs hops in place and gets one of Wile E.’s wine bottles to pop its cork into his eye. (Genius that he is, I’m guessing Wile E. is an expert winemaker.) Wile E. ducks the next one, but who do you think taught Basil of Baker St. everything he knows? Bugs knew the cork would bounce around the kitchen, setting off a chain reaction that would ultimately cause Wile E’s fold-out bed to fall on him. Done with hopping corks, Bugs hops home.

Wile E. tries to vacuum up his prey, but gets a decoy made out of bombs, instead. Keeping in character, he’s not even mad. He’s admires Bugs’s chutzpah. Still, dinner plans must be kept, and the cunning canine next pours quick drying cement into the hole. Bugs molded it into a pillar, and sticks it back in Wile E.’s path. Both of them making puns about the situation. (These guys. These are the guys I want to be like when I mature.) Time for our finishing gag. And it’s a great one!

Wile E. gets his paws on a ten-billion volt magnet, several dynamos, and an iron carrot. If he can get Bugs to eat that, then the multiverse’s most powerful magnet will reel him in like a dead pike. Bugs just pretends to eat the carrot because he’s not a neanderthal this time. Wile E. falls for it, because even the biggest geniuses can be fooled. He turns on the device and starts attracting the carrot, and Bug’s mailbox, iron, pans, etc.

Then the gag grows to Tex Avery levels! Horseshoes, barbed wire, cars, Eiffel towers… If it’s metal, it’s migrating. And in true Avery fashion, the gag can still go farther. Satellites and rockets are also pulled in. All that metal, and rocket fluid. Something’s going to give! Bugs admires the fireworks that the camera doesn’t show us. (*humph*) You know, Russia may have beat us to putting dogs in orbit, but as Bugs points out, who put the first coyote up there? That’s right: U.S. (Hope you enjoyed hearing Wile E. speak. Barring a failed television pilot, he wouldn’t talk again for decades.)

Favorite Part: As perfect as the ending was, my favorite part is the look Bugs gives up when he sees Wile E.’s mailbox labeling him as a genius. Bugs is NOT amused. Even goes so far as to mock him. (“Are you in, genius?”)

Personal Rating: 4. This was a whole point better than the last team-up of these two. So glad to hear Bugs act like the full-grown bunny he is.

Hare Trimmed

“I can see you through the key hole!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, and Arthur Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 20, 1953.

We started this fun themed month with a ghost story, then moved on to real life horror, and now I’ll continue this trend with a cartoon featuring costumes. Maybe next week I’ll discuss “The Cookie Carnival.” Wouldn’t that be a shake-up?

Sam takes note of the local news. Namely, there’s a widow that’s inherited 50 million big ones. And he can’t help but feel that anyone having just lost a loved one should immediately replace what’s missing. You know, he’s single. A suspicious Bugs can’t help but see what the little guy is up to, and finds Sam in the next scene with flowers and candy. He’s got marriage on his mind. Bugs might just need to intervene.

Said widow is Granny (that newspaper photo didn’t do her justice), who has so much cash, she literally sets some aside to burn. (Whoever her husband was, his death clearly didn’t affect her too much. In fact, how do we know this isn’t the first time she’s gotten in such a rewarding situation? I’m worried about you, Sam.) She answers her door to find Sam trying to woo her, and she lets him chase her. But she must put their fun on a brief hiatus as there’s yet another knock.

It’s Bugs dressed as the marquee of Queensberry… rouge, I think. Putting on his best Pepe Le Pew impression, he also gets to chase the flirty Granny around. Sam isn’t pleased and slaps Bugs with his glove. Bugs (and his disappearing/reappearing hat) returns the favor but he bothers to put a brick in his, first. Time for pistols at ten paces. Bugs, ever ten paces ahead, counts out as many steps between nine and ten as he needs to get Sam to walk out into the path of an incoming bus.

When Sam comes banging at the door again, it is answered by Bugs in Granny garb. And Sam refers  to “her” as “Emma.” Could this be Granny’s real name? If it isn’t, what is it with Sam and girls named Emma? Sam gets to chase again, but “Emma” ends things quickly with a piano to the face. It’s then that the real Emma (?) finds him and sets him in a chair while she fixes him some coffee. The other one reaches him first and does the ole ‘giving lumps when asking for lumps’ bit.

When Gremma returns, Sam kicks the coffee out of her hands sending her running for the gun that I’m guessing she’s already used before SOME WAY. Sam realizes that he may have just kicked away the easy life, and follows begging for forgiveness. He gets Bugs (still in disguise) to forgive him and he then suggests they elope, much to Sam’s glee. When they’re walking down the aisle, Bugs’s dress gets caught on a snag and tears off revealing his hairy legs. Leading to a great line from the priest: “Do you, Sam, take this woman… woman?”

That comment gets Sam to look over his bride once more and instantly get cold feet. He flees the wedding, leaving Bugs crying crocodile tears. (Who are all those people they invited anyway? I don’t recognize anybody but me.)

Favorite Part: The animation of Sam and later Bugs chasing Granny. I can’t explain it, but it slays me. And I wish I had an opportunity to chase someone like that without warranting a call for help.

Personal Rating: 4. Granny is probably at her best here. Fun to see her having so much fun.