Category: Daffy Duck

WOOHOO! HOOHOO! Here is everything that Daffy ever appeared in. Will you read them? No? You’re despicable.

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Daffy Doodles

“I hate that d-d-duck.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 16, 1946.

The first for Robert! And you know what? He deserves it. He’d been there since the beginning and would stick to the end. With that said, I do have to admit he’s my least favorite of the “big” directors. He just didn’t have many pictures that really wowed me the way the others’ did.

There’s a demon on the loose in the city. Their words, not mine. The narrator isn’t even sure what they look like. It could be me, but it isn’t. It could be you, but you’re better than that. What little information we do have is what the fiend is up to: putting mustaches on all the ads. I’d say that’s minor at best, and pretty childish. But it is graffiti. Funny graffiti that would probably make the populace notice your sign more, but I’m not the law.

The title was on to something! Daffy is indeed the one doing this. We’ve all got our purposes in life. Mine is to make people glad they’re not me, yours is to tell me I’m more than that, and Daffy’s is to paint. It’s niche, but it’s what he’s good at. You wouldn’t ask Dali to paint a still life of ham and swiss and not expect him to make each hole on the cheese a mouth and the meat covered in snails that have crab shells, would you?

The city’s finest better be called in to deal with this. And that means a guy who is a pig literally and figuratively. Porky fits. (And I’m sorry if you find me calling a cop a pig rude. You must not know how I feel about pigs.) His plan is to hold a picture frame around his face, and not move. No blinking, breathing, swallowing or twitching. At least he’s mastered not sweating. Daffy isn’t so easily fooled, being a master of his profession and all. He just leaves a box in front of Porky with the typical “Do not open until Xmas”. But that’s this week, and Porky won’t be around then, so it’s logical to look now.

Daffy was in the box and gives Porky a ‘stache. And it looks amazing! Rugged, manly, sexy, tough… these are all fine words, but I chose ‘amazing’. Porky gives chase, but Daffy is able to lose him by playing porter and getting Porky into a subway car. Now that he’s gotten a taste for painting flesh, Daffy holds out his brush to give every passenger a lip tickler. Daring choice giving an infant the Hitler look. Poor Chaplin. You will never be anybody’s first guess unless they’re trying to misdirect others.

The downside to Daffy’s hobby is that he’s easy to track. Just follow the latest line of mustaches. They’re on the pictures of the stars at the theater. (The one on Bugs is a nice touch. And a hint of their relationship in the future.) Daffy then sees the largest billboard ever. Don’t point me to a bigger one and ruin my amazement. This will be great. Bigger is better! And better art is a masterpiece! Daffy sets to work, but Porky spots him up there and gets in position. As Daffy swings about painting, Porky pastes him on the head with his club. That’s more success than Wile E. ever had!

Daffy threatens to jump off if Porky comes nearer. Porky comes nearer and Daffy jumps. When Porky peeks over, Daffy, on the ledge just below, paints him again. It really suits you, man! Either grow a real one or pay the artist for his service already! The chase resumes along the building. Nice camera work! Daffy is even willing grab a hold of his pursuer when he loses his balance. Of course, that’s so he can turn the tables and chase Porky on a motorcycle. It’s great exercise!

The chase leads back on to the roof and the two fall through a skylight. In the rubble, Porky lends new meaning to the term “handlebar mustache”. Daffy makes his escape via the mail tube, and Porky goes looking for him at the corresponding mailbox. Being Daffy, he comes back to berate the officer for looking through the mail and slaps some cuffs on him. Now right where Porky wants him, he gets another bonk on the head and is taken to court.

Daffy pleads to the judge. He’s made some mistakes in his life, but isn’t the guilt punishment enough? He’s willing to make a fresh start if the law will just give him the chance. It’s all up to the jury. Said jury is a hive mind of Jerry Colonas. Maybe they’re convinced, maybe they’re just trying to indoctrinate more vessels to feed his majesty, the Jerry-rig. Whatever the reason, Daffy is grateful and vows to never paint another mustache. He’s got to keep up with the times, and fashion says beards are in!

Wait a minute! It didn’t say anything about fourth walls! HHEEAALLPP!

Favorite Part: Daffy pleading with the judge and remarking that he too might be a maniac someday. If I’m ever on trial, I’m going to try that.

Personal Rating: 3. Welcome aboard, the U.S.S. McKimson! We’ll be having plenty of chicken and visits to Australia!

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A Squeak in the Deep

“Well whaddya know? A yah-chit race.”

Always wanted to do a sea epic.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Sid Marcus; Animation by Bob Matz, Manny Perez, Norm McCabe, George Grandpre, Ted Bonnicksen, and Warren Batchelder; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Eugene Marks; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Walter Greene. A Looney Tune released on July 19, 1966.

That’s ‘yacht race’ for those of you who don’t speak Daffy. A race TO Hawaii. Liability waivers are included, right? You really think every entrant can sail that good? Not to mention the provisions needed… It sounds like a bad idea to me. And really, there’s no need for me to enter. I’ve been to Hawaii before. Well, the state, not the island. It still scratched any tropical itch I might have had. I’ll sit this one out. Not like I’d have any use for 6,000 pesos anyway.

I’m not talented at math, but I also get the feeling that getting a watercraft, and those previously mentioned provisions would cost more than the prize. But Daffy plays for the love of the greed. Speedy also plans to enter, but he’s got a more practical reason: money buys cheese, and a goodly amount of money buys a greatly amount of cheese. You’d think Daffy wouldn’t take Speedy seriously, but he knows by now the mouse is crafty. He shoves him into a can and kicks him away, saying he won’t be competing. Speedy’s competing, then?

Race Day! And are there any rules? I mean, that entrant is using a motor whereas the most of the rest are using sails. And don’t you need sails to be a yacht? Yacht’a know, right? Daffy’s craft is humble. That’s not me being too polite. No, calling Speedy’s ride humble is too polite. It’s a bathtub! How’d he even get that here? How does he get his nose to change color like that? The contest begins and Daffy actually manages to get a good lead. And he’s one of the sail users! Toon wind is powerful stuff!

It’s not long before Speedy outpaces the duck, so Daffy pulls his plug, making a sub out of the tub. Because there are plenty of carp-enters under the sea, Speedy returns in a paddle boat. (It’s a cartoon, are you really going to point out carp are freshwater? When that’s my job?) He runs along the paddles to make it go, which is really smart with his speed. And the little flag is adorable! The only thing it lacks is an anchor, but Daffy allows him to borrow his. It’s not on the proper scale, so it works too well.

Speedy next utilizes our pollution to aid him. One of the myriad of helium balloons that end up in our oceans carries him back to Daffy’s craft. We really do use too much plastic, though. Don’t buy a 3D printer. He tells Daffy that they should team-up. If they do, then they can split the prize! Daffy has no need for that, his head cel is already split from his torso background! Wow. I really mean that. You can interpret it further if you wish. Speedy hides from Daffy in a pipe, and sprays Daffy off the boat when he peeks in.

When Daffy’s had enough, he chases Speedy with a baseball bat. Speedy keeps taking it away and bashing him from different portholes. (They’re still called that on the starboard side, right?) Daffy tries entering one of the holes to get him, but gets himself stuck. Speedy paddles him good before stating his deal once more. Daffy refuses, so Speedy bats butt again. Daffy gives in, but he’s not budging on the 50-50 part. Speedy can have a smaller share and like it! Speedy still holds all the cards though, and Daffy is soon agreeing to his terms.

Partners help partners, so Speedy gets Daffy out of the hole, and Daffy can use his flippered feet to propel them along. I like their odds. That shark is great for motivation!

Favorite Part: When Daffy is thrown into the water, a curious fish needs to be shooed off. The second time this happens, he gets rid of it with a face that is so ridiculous and childish that it evolves into genuinely funny.

Personal Rating: 2.

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It’s Nice to have a Mouse around the House

“Justh let resth a moment, mother.”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Co-Director: Hawley Pratt; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Don Williams, Bob Matz, and Norm McCabe; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc and George Pearson; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on January 16, 1965.

I don’t like that title. Too clunky. As opposed to ‘klunky’, which is something in the style of klunks. (A ‘klunk’ is someone or something that does something klunky.)

Speedy is the titular mouse and it feels odd to see him in a modern ’60’s American house. I’m so used to him dwelling in Mexico or a pizzeria. Sylvester gives chase like any cat would, but Speedy leads the chase onto the backyard pool’s diving board, and underneath. Sylvester can’t copycat that, giving Speedy the opportunity to sneak behind and “Yee-ha!” him into the pool. Granny, (marking the only time she encountered Speedy) decides that an exterminator will have to take things over from here.

Jet Age pest control sends over their best duck. Second, actually. The first best was delicious. Thus starting off the Daffy/Speedy match-ups. He’s a bit surprised to hear Granny is having problems with mouse, rather than mice, but she tells him to take a look at her cat and decide what the rodent is capable of. Sylvester is having a nervous breakdown, so Granny is going to take him out of the picture and to the vet. Neatly removing him from the series. (Barring three exceptions.)

Daffy uses a stethoscope to determine the beast’s location. Speedy shouts through it, and Daffy is sent through the ceiling. Found him, then? (A ceiling chunk disappears.) Time to lure the prey out via “Approach B”. Was “A” just reaching in with your hand and banking on the fact you could crush his skeleton? This approach is pretty straightforward: cheese. But Daffy goes the extra mile by setting up a candlelight dinner complete with hue altering chair. Speedy arrives, and Daffy nets him.

Sylvester left too soon! They could have compared notes! He could have told Daffy this method doesn’t work. Let’s approach ‘C’, shall we? Plan ‘C’, that is. (Why is this one a plan?) Glue traps work wonders. And there’s nothing sadistic about making an animal slowly starve to death. It’s adorable to see their strength fail, right? (If you’re reading this dad, I’m still upset about the spider traps you used to place in my room.) Before Daffy can get another cheese lure, Speedy “Yee-ha’s” him onto the ceiling. But not before Daffy can make the right side of his bill that looks like a cheek turn black.

Daffy returns to his manual, reading silently so we’ll never know if ‘D’ if an approach, plan, attack, or order. But the animators get to reuse some animation and cut another cost: poor Mel. The scheme is using vacuum power to slurp up Speedy. Daffy riding it, of all things. (I wish I could do that.) The mouse gets to reuse some of his animation as well, and Daffy rides into the pool. The suction takes all the water, which is more than the bag can handle. It explodes, and Daffy crashes into the now empty pool.

Time for a new tactic! This is the surefire one! A machine that will dispose of whatever you want. You just insert a photo of your target. The one Daffy has changes slightly based on how far the camera is. Going from Honeymouser to Mickey clone. Speedy is rightfully fearful, but he has an ace on him. It turns out Granny has a subscription to Daffy Duck Comics and the machine doesn’t need to eject a current photo to pursue a new target. Daffy is chased throughout town, while Speedy title drops. Do you think his line, or the title was written first?

Favorite Part: During this era, you really have to expect gags to be simpler. It makes a charming miracle when Daffy doesn’t just end up hanging from the ceiling, but falls onto the glue below, gets “Yee-ha’d” back to the ceiling, before he and the chunk he’s stuck to fall down again.

Personal Rating: 2. Who else would have feasibly fit the exterminator role? Elmer? Porky? I guess Daffy was the right choice. (Yes, I know Freleng’s studio was limited on which characters they were allowed to use.)

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Ducking the Devil

“I juthst gotta have that 5 g’ths!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by George Grandpre and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Bill Butler; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on August 17, 1957.

A Taz cartoon without Bugs! The only one in fact! And probably my favorite to boot! Let’s dig in!

That armored vehicle isn’t going to any bank. Its cargo is far and away more valuable. (But less deadly.) This truck is en route to the zoo to deliver the latest exhibit: a Tasmanian Devil. The keeper tries to keep the beast under control with his poking trident, but the brute not only bites it apart, he escapes from his delivery crate. The patrons need a moment to take it in before realizing this is a perfect panic scenario. They flee en masse, and I’m glad to say there were zero casualties. Well, on the devil’s part. Some were trampled in the mobs.

Important stories like this are fit to print, and Daffy reads about it in his paper. He’s never heard of such an animal, but the article fills him in on the important stuff. It’s powerful and perpetually hungry, and fancies wild duck above all other game. But we in the zoological field know that its favorite food is really whatever is co-staring at the moment. Daffy is a little disturbed, but piles on the bravado by claiming he is no coward.

Taz recycles his way over for the second time in the year! It’s a fine enough part to be proud of, but it could have also been fun to see what new things Taz could spin through. He’s got two more chances before we’ll have gone through his entire filmography. I know the outcome, but I’ll stay mum on it just in case you’re going to be patient enough to find out what it is in time. Daffy admits to being a coward and tries to hide under the water. Sea devils aren’t as vicious as the land ones.

She-sea devil
Of course, I could be wrong.

Insatiable hunger is bosom buddies with insatiable thirst, and Taz downs the whole pond. As is convenient for the plot, Daffy forgets he can fly and flees on feet. He catches his breath at Hamburger Center and overhears the radio stating that a reward is being offered to get the cowardly populace to take action. This is the grand poobah of invasive species here, wimps. And he’s way too valuable to just put down. Plus, our modern medicines can help prevent him from ever getting DFT.

Daffy is sold the minute cash is brought up. I like that his greed outweighs his fear. The only problem is how he’s going to get the creature back since they’re at least ten miles away. (Oh, excuse me, those of you who use metric. That equals to 52,800 feet.) Well, the radio has an answer to that problem too! The Tasmanian Devil becomes docile when exposed to music. And for the longest time, I always though that was just an established bit of Taz lore. That’s because after seeing this short as a kid, I saw this:

Two different instances. It had to be a well known fact.

Daffy alerts the Devil to his presence and tries to turn the radio back on. He turned it off for the sake of this joke, you understand. And said joke gives it a bit of trouble in trying to find the music station again. (Love that “YIPPEE!” Think I heard that used in a “Humongous Entertainment” title once.) He gets the tunes at the last possible moment, and it works like a charmed animal. Taz is putty in this attack pause. Daffy leads him back.

They don’t make it too far. The cord comes unplugged and Taz reverts to his carnivorous ways. Daffy mails away for a trombone. The instrument I’d most likely believe was invented by a Toon. He can play it well, but loses the slide part when it gets caught in tree branches. So he next ties some bagpipes. This does jack all because the radio said Tasmanian Devils are soothed by music. (That’s an awesome joke. See why this one is my fave?)

Well, there’s only one other alternative. Daffy isn’t a songbird, but he starts singing all the same. Wouldn’t you know it? Works like a char- yeah, I’m not typing that again. Time to get movin’ right along! Ten miles isn’t the farthest you can walk, (I’d wager that would be the length from Portugal to Russia.) but have you ever tried to sing the entire length? Daffy’s voice is starting to waver by mile 7. You can feel the discomfort in his larynx. Mel, why haven’t they written one of those “Who is/was?” books about you yet? You’re more amazing than every human being who isn’t you.

Daffy manages to get Taz back to the zoo and back in his prison. Then, yes, Daffy actually gets his mitts on some money. Another reason why I hold this one high.

Favorite Part: What comes right after. Daffy is counting his wad, but he drops the final bill and Taz grabs it for himself. Without hesitation, the duck rushes in to the enclosure and gives the devil a thrashing to within an inch of his life. Bugs has to rely on his wits. Daffy just beat up the mammalian equivalent of an atom bomb. His greed might just rival Wario’s.

Personal Rating: 4. Especially when standing next to the other Taz shorts. This really stands  out as a deviant.

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Person to Bunny

“It ain’t much of a hutch, but it’s home.”

Bugsy pal! There’s a friend here to see ya!

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Art Davis, Gerry Chiniquy, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 1, 1960.

(Not gonna lie. I always get this one confused with “People are Bunny“.)

Person to Person with Edward Murrow will not be airing today. His poor, unloved brother, Edward Burrows, really wanted a chance to host a show and we couldn’t say no to his face. He looks like a quoll, and they can get away with anything. (In case you’re wondering, his last name is different because he’s adopted.) It might not be a good idea from a business standpoint, but he knows how to do it: interview somebody that is known the world over. How about the biggest rabbit in show biz, Bugs?

Bugs accepts, and his hole is now littered with studio lights and cameras. Two-way cameras, it seems. Bugs can see his interviewer even if we can’t. (Well, you can’t. I already described what he looks like.) The interview has barely started when Daffy comes knocking at the door. He seems to have been unaware of Bugs’s day, but, no, he’s probably just being coy. This is being broadcast live, isn’t it? And he tells Burrows that he watches the show. It all adds up.

Surprisingly, Bugs isn’t having it today. He almost never loses his cool with Daffy. Least not so early in the cartoon. Perhaps because the duck is footage-bombing this time? He drags him out, much to Daffy’s chagrin. First question for Bugs: how is he able to outwit someone as intelligent; as brainy; as genius as Elmer J. Fudd? Bugs is blunt. He claims that Fudd is none of those things. In fact, his exact words are that “His I.Q. is P.U.” That’s a really good jab. If my autistic brain would let me say “P.U.” out loud, I’d be using it.

Daffy isn’t the only fan of the show. Elmer saw and heard the whole thing and isn’t happy. He arrives as Bugs’s place calling him to appear, or be labeled a coward. Sounds serious. Bugs puts things on hold to handle this, giving Daffy a chance to go ham in Burrow’s off screen face. Elmer demands an apology. And, yeah, he kind of deserves it. Isn’t this short suggesting that they are aware they are co-stars making pictures together? Is Bugs always so hostile off the set? I used to look up to you, man. Er, lagomorph.

Bugs sticks to his guns by plugging Elmer’s with his carrot. Going back down, he finds what Daffy has been up to. With Elmer right outside the door, Bugs attempts to kill one bird with one stone by suggesting Daffy perform in front of the zoom-r lens. Being Fudd’s rifle, Daffy gets his beak bent for the umpteenth time. Unamused, Daffy claims that Bugs isn’t special. Anyone could do his shtick if they have a rabbit outfit and a carrot. He demonstrates, and Elmer mistakes him for the real thing.

Daffy corrects the mistake, and Bugs leads Elmer off his property in a chase. Once again, Daffy takes the spotlight. This time to reuse some footage from “Show Biz Bugs”. Bugs gets rid of Elmer with one of his best gags that we haven’t seen since “The Big Snooze“. The one where Elmer chases him through a log, and Bugs pushes one of its ends over a cliff. Sadly, they don’t go all the way. Elmer just sits in the log confused after the second attempt. That’s not nearly as funny. And the opposite of comedy is tragedy, so I guess you better start crying.

Back home, Bugs once again finds Daffy was actually calling the kettle black when he called Bugs a camera hog. Bugs decides that the only way to get rid of him is to let him perform. Daffy is delighted and asks if his friends will see him. What friends? Porky? Or….

Do you mean Porky?

Bugs lets him know that his friends are just a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the people who will be watching. The normal viewing audience for this show is at minimum four million. Since Bugs gets to act different today, Daffy demands he get to as well. He faints upon hearing that number. Too bad we’re out of time. I didn’t get to ask Bugs my question. (Do you have any footage for “Bye, Bye, Bunny” that I can view?)

Favorite Part: When Daffy’s bill is bent upward. Not only does he look super pissed, but his voice sounds all muffly. And speaking of voices…

Personal Rating: 3

Actually, I was going to ask that you take off your hats in reverence for the last time we would hear Arthur Q. Bryan’s perform as Fudd. He was sadly dead by the time this one came out, and we’ve never had a better performance. (Though, I always thought Billy West came the closest.)

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The Henpecked Duck

“Say, is there a magician in the house?”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by John Carey; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on August 30, 1941.

Everybody wants a divorce these days! It’s almost as if romance was a myth all along. I mean, I’ve had my suspicions, but this isn’t about me. The proceedings take place in the court of inhuman relations. Naturally, I’d expect no fairer judge than Porky. Anything he declares just, I do. First case: the duck family. Daffy approaches as miserable as one can be. This must be some screw-up for him to take things this seriously. The maybe soon to be ex-Mrs. approaches determinedly. She really wants that divorce!

Porky asks that she explain why she’d want to part with such a catch. Sure, he’s a bit… or rather he is Daffy, but it’s not like he’d be abusive. Please elaborate. This began when she was going to visit her mother. She and her husband were expecting their first child, so Daffy was going to be incubating them. It already seems like things weren’t working out in Daffy’s favor. Mrs. Duck threatens him bodily harm, doubts his ability to stay focused, and the brow-beaten guy can only reply with a quiet “Yes, m’love.”

Until she’s out of the house and he feels like he can act how he really feels. Mockingly repeating his latest catchphrase and making faces. Revealing she was still within earshot, he returns to the nest on his best behavior. Yeah, I think the poor dear needs to escape such a shrewish wench. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean the marriage always fails because of us! The flashback keeps going, so I guess Daffy told her this part. Given what we’ve seen, I’m surprised she isn’t trying to embellish it more in her favor. “Yes, Daffy starting to abort our duckling via anvil. Also, he was giving cigarettes to minors.”

Well, Daffy by name also means daffy by nature. It wasn’t long before he was bored of sitting still and starting playing around with the egg. He smashes it between his palms, but there’s no trace of shell, albumen or embryo. It’s disappeared! Then with some awesome magic words: “Hocus-pocus, flippity flam, a-razzamatazz and alakazam!”, the egg reappears without a scratch on it! Look at Daffy’s reaction! Even he is amazed that this worked. Then he… steps out of the scene? Is that right? He clearly steps down onto… nothing. Is it suggesting he came out of the picture to entertain on stage? What am I missing? I just want my life to be complete!

Well, if you can do something once, logic says you can do it again. (I’ve actually died half a dozen times. You just haven’t noticed.) Nope! No dice! That egg is gone! Trapped in the space between spaces. What a place to be born! If that’s even a possibility, of course. Daffy panics. Sure, the wife won’t be pleased, but that was his child too! Over and over, he repeats his chant, saying ‘alakazam’ so much that you could mistake him for a Pokemon, but he gets no results. And time isn’t feeling particularly kind today. It continues to keep moving forward. Time is mean and I don’t like it.

Oh, crap! Look who is actually returning! I was sure she was having a beautiful rest, and deciding she’d never go back to her nest. Daffy needs an egg to fool her, but the closest thing available is a doorknob. As long as it stays pointed down, she’ll never be able to tell. Duck eggs are always as cold as a brass monkey! Where did you think the phrase ‘cold duck’ came from? It rolls over just as he’s sitting, and mama catches on very fast. That brings us to today. Now, I can take her side.

Daffy pleads with Porky to give him just one more chance. I don’t think I’ve made my feelings on Porky clear enough in the fourteen years I’ve been doing this. *ahem* PORKY IS SUCH A STAND UP GUY THAT HE IS WILLING TO LET THE PHSYCOPATH HAVE ANOTHER SHOT AT WHAT HE FAILED TO DO HALF A BILLION TIMES!!! BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN HIM AND WANTS TO SEE TRUE LOVE PREVAIL!!!! ALSO, HE’D SHARE HIS LUNCH WITH YOU!!!

I’m cool. Listen to me. Anyway, Daffy gives it one final shot, but this time he adds a little something: a prayer. And that was the missing ingredient. Of course! God forsakes all magic that does not come from him, and was waiting to be asked for forgiveness! (My sister just became a missionary. Hats off to her, if you please.) The couple makes up, and the egg hatches. All is beautiful, all is well.

Favorite Part: When Daffy sits on the pointy-side up doorknob, he makes a face. A face that says he didn’t know he was about to be goosed.

But that doesn’t mean he minded.

Personal Rating: 3

And of all the years to not be invited to San Diego Comic-con as a guest! I can’t believe I missed out on seeing the reveal trailer of “Coyote Vs Acme”! Me! The Internet’s looniest fan! I’m that. Believe me. If I don’t see that footage by next week, I’ll… I’ll… Gosh. What will I do?

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The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie (First Thoughts)

“Let’s get looney!”

Time to show some gumption!

No need to worry, this is a good movie. Very good. D*mn good! Though I didn’t think it great. Let’s discuss. (There’ll probably be a few spoilers.)

Plot: Porky and Daffy are farm boys. Well, farm animals. Found by a man named Farmer Jim, (who I swear is Tom’s father.) he raised the two to adulthood before leaving the movie. I’m sure he died, but the film doesn’t take it too seriously, so I don’t. Now on their own, the two are in danger of losing the house they’ve grown up in. After some trial and many errors, the two manage to get employment with the local gum factory. Unfortunately, an alien invader who has no name (almost like the creators were begging me to do the honors,) has a plan to control all life on the planet via chewing gum. What’s his ultimate goal? How will our heroes stop him? Is this a worthy successor to its source material? Even if I give you some answers, you better still go see it. It deserves your money and attention.

So, let me just address my biggest problem with the film. And it’s really a me problem. I find the whole story, kind of weak. Just in theatrical terms. While I’m happy to see some gorgeous hand-drawn animation on a big screen again, the story feels like a direct-to-streaming idea. But the animation really is top-notch stuff. As are the jokes. I couldn’t stop smiling. Not every joke landed a winner, but the majority did. Some of which I really didn’t see coming, so the humor hit even harder.

Examples: Farmer Jim looks like a photograph. They’re just remembering him that way? Possibly, but that means only his mouth and eyes move. When he has to walk, he reveals his South Park roots. When our two stars wake up and we see song birds in their house, it’s an homage to Disney, right? It’s more likely they just entered through the hole in the roof that was easily forgotten about earlier. These are well written, and well executed.

And the fan service is top-notch. Smartly, they limit it to stuff relating just to Porky and Daffy’s shorts. Porky reads a book about Gabby, there’s a coffee shop named after Beans, (clever) Duffy makes a cameo, Porky’s piggy bank got stolen once, they wear familiar hats, I caught a snippet of the 60’s Looney Tunes theme, Petunia has a picture of Fluffnums, and they eat a diner called Clampett’s. While there, they are served by a waitress that is screaming celebrity cameo inside. It got me wondering if she was voiced by Bob’s daughter, and lo and behold…

Funny and fun! Good combo! Let’s talk about the character one next.

The origin story gets the job done in a satisfactory way, essentially making the two brothers. I’m fine with that. It would have been cool if they had been adopted by a same-sex couple named Friz and Tex, but that could be seen as insulting. No big deal. Daffy is indirectly responsible for Porky’s stutter. I really prefer Mel’s take on it, but I can’t see that being conveyed unless Porky just told the audience point blank about Blanc’s point. Porky is the straight-laced responsible one, who offsets Daffy’s wacky screwiness. Worked wonders in the past, and wasn’t lost to time. Excellent!

Even some character development occurs. Porky learns to trust that Daffy can be competent, while Daffy realizes to ease up on the loony juice a bit. I think Porky’s more in the wrong there, but it doesn’t change Daffy as a character to learn something. I was a bit concerned that Daffy kept laying eggs, even if he has done that before, it wiggs me out. But they addressed that as a joke as well, so I’m satiated.

Let’s talk about Petunia next. I’m happy to say she is more than Porky’s object of desire, even if its love at first sight for him. (Making a literal cute joke about how Porky sees her most mundane actions as the most beautiful ones.) She has her own wants and goals, but becomes interested in Porky in an organic, if slightly fast way. They also forego any instances of Daffy getting jealous of her. Best of all, she’s got a real personality.

She’s a nerd. Not an over-the-top stereotype, but someone who is very smart and has a keen interest in he work. Great idea! We’ve had smart characters before, but this is a new twist. She’s also got this thing about hating the fact that the company she works for keeps giving the public the same thing with a different package instead of trying to take risky, but creative chances. Now, who was it that Clampett loved parodying? I couldn’t have been the only one who interpreted things like that.

Our antagonist, simply called The Invader by the credits, is a lot of fun. Whoever was animating him was having the time of their life. But we have to spoil a major plot point regarding him. Better skip to the next paragraph break if you haven’t seen the film. Maybe the one after that to be safe. As it turns out, he’s not evil. His plan is actually meant to benefit the planet. Problem is, that twist comes right out of nowhere. No clever hints to catch, and the film portrays him as evil as they possibly can.

Good thing that doesn’t bother me. His reasoning for why he’s doing this ends up being another funny joke, that is still a selfish reason, so it works. And the turnaround happens a good 7/10ths through, so there’s time to come to grips with things. And I really like his plan. Putting something into gum that makes chewers into mind-controlled slaves? As if the stuff wasn’t disgusting enough. There is a handful of gross-out jokes here, but they know to limit it. I can look past things.

And that animation! It looks great, it probably smells great, and they still had some other fun with it! When aping the original shorts, they change the aspect ratio. When there’s a Powerhouse number, the whole style changes to be more art-deco. When things are meant to be disturbing, they come through. I never realized how disturbing false teeth can be, but they’ve joined the uncanny rank that glass eyes now share. Prosthetic limbs are next!

Don’t forget the voice acting! Eric Bauza continues to be a worthy Mel successor, Peter Macnicol does a wonderful Charlie Adler impression, (I was sure it was him.) but the one I had the most concerns with was Candi Milo. She’s a great voice artist, but I’ve always felt her biggest strength was in playing elderly ladies. I needn’t have worried. Petunia sounds cute and intelligent in her capable vocal chords, and compliments Porky beautifully.

It’s an overall good film. And it deserves love. I’m displeased to say that apart from me and my brother who tagged along, there were only nine other theater-goers, who couldn’t even be bothered to look at the credits. Not to mention that the nearest theater playing the flick was the next county over! I warned you all that this film needs to succeed, lest the W.B. gets another reason to think nobody loves their oldest mascots. The ones who gave them a real fighting chance in the cutthroat film industry. Some of the most influential stars in movie history. You know me as the guy online who tries to let others know of their brilliance. That doesn’t mean you can’t help do the same.

Favorite Part: Well, the best is the return of a classic bit: the false theater attendant interacting with the characters on screen. We’ve reached a point where some people will have never seen that gag, and I can see it blowing some young minds. I wish I hadn’t already seen it in trailers. I’m lucky I have no shortage of great moments. I’m choosing the reveal that Petunia stutters when she’s nervous/shy. And this only seeming to happen when she talks to Porky. Awwwwwwww!

Personal Rating: For me, a 3. It’s a good start that could lead to better things. But I know the majority of people will think it even better than that. I’ve no doubt that it could inspire people to look into the original classics. Thus, it earns a 4. And I’m pleased to say so.

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Daffy’s Southern Exposure

“Name your poison, kid.”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Story by Don Christensen; Animation by Vive Risto; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 2, 1942.

Ducks fly south when winter starts to hit. And fly north again when summer returns to their original residence. As such, they live in a perpetual state of blissful warmth and never suffer from seasonal depression. How I envy them. But according to Daffy, it’s gotten old. He opts to stay behind this migration to see what winter is like. I can guarantee that the thrill will run out by the smallest fraction of time it took for you to somehow lose interest in the only time of the year worth living through.

Things start out great. With a full lake to himself, Daffy can splash, jump and “woo-hoo” to his heart’s content. (What’s with the fade-out?) Since he has an audience, he tries showing off his fancy dives. As it is wont to do, winter ruins everything with a jump cut. Daffy switches to skating. It couldn’t get worse than this, right? Hold my cold duck. The snow, snow, snow comes down, down, down, in crushing freezing pile-ups, and anyone with half a brain would be smart to cry. Yup. In fact, it snows so hard that even the captions describing the scene can’t find Daffy. Can’t say he wasn’t warned.

Daffy is able to poke his head out of the storm to scold any of us who might have been laughing at his starvation. See, as if winter wasn’t already evil and vile enough, it also destroys a majority of food that nature’s babies need to survive. If I haven’t made myself clear enough, I was always on Heat Miser’s team. I don’t want to set the world on fire, but I can’t lie that I’d die happy. I don’t know how long Daffy has been struggling by this point, but he’s starting to see trees as meat. Protein! Delicious, filling protein! You’re needed!

Then, a blessed aroma. Food! It is food, right? Surprisingly, there’s no ‘could be’ joke. The scent vapor just spells ‘yeah food’. Daffy doesn’t have a nose to follow wherever it goes, but nostrils are enough. The scent is coming from a cabin just yonder. Inside of which dwell a couple of natural duck predators: a fox and a weasel. The weasel will be called ‘Abigail’ later on, so that’s his canon name. The fox has none, so if I had more of a following, I’d allow readers to vote on the name he’ll receive. Instead, I’ma call him Jackson.

These two have food all right, but they’re not happy. It’s all beans. Sure, they’ve got all the protein and fiber you could ask for, but have you eaten canned beans recently? Not as a side dish, but a main course. They’re kinda bland, and very soft. Not satisfying to chew. No surprise, Jackson has reached his breaking point. He wants meat. Thick, juicy, plump, marbled, direct from a corpse, meat. And there’s a knock at his door. The two are pleased to find a duck, but he’s a starving duck. And if you’re going to have duck, you want it to have some fat. That is some delicious fat.

Good thing they have food. Donning lady disguises, they invite Daffy in to fill his belly, while they method act their way through “Arsenic and Old Lace”. Just, hold the arsenic. There’s even a musical number where they try to play up the beans as the best meal Daffy’s ever had in his life. What they don’t know is, if you’re starving any meal will be the best meal of your life. When Daffy is stuffed to their satisfaction, they reveal the charade. Really should have waited for him to fall asleep or something.

Daffy flees, with Jackson close behind. Abigail, being the dumb one of the duo, runs into a wall. It’s a fairly short chase; Daffy is able to lose the fox by treating a log spanning a chasm as a railroad switch that makes a second path. Jackson runs into oblivion. I hope they have meat in heaven. Daffy runs all the way to Brazil. He might accidentally burn off all the calories the beans bestowed upon him. Last I heard, he had taken residence in the headdress of the furry version of Carmen Miranda. As for Abigail, I think he’s still loyally waiting for his friend to return with the duck. So beautiful. So tragic. One of the two, anyway.

Favorite Part: During the chase, Daffy stops Jackson. “Hey, jusht a minute bub, jusht a minute.” Is he gonna follow up with ‘are you following me?’ Nope. He just hits his pursuer.

Personal Rating: 3. I really don’t like winter. It’s lucky to have scored so well.

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This is a Life?

“Easthy sthomach. Don’t turn over.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen and Arthur Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 9, 1955.

That title is the title of my favorite show! It’s a program where they take someone from the audience, usually well known, and honor them by asking about their life story, showing some clips from their past, bringing on important people from their history, maybe even giving you a present at the end. Just in case it’s me this week, my guest stars will be named Richard, Megan, and Sabra. (The first two will not be pleased to interact with me again.) My gift can be every one of my characters as drawn by an animator I admire. Sally Cruikshank can do my self-insert, Tartakovsky can do the assassin, and Gooseworx can do the pogo-stick creature that has fingers coming out of its arms.

Drat my luck! Considering the celebs we got in the audience, I don’t fancy my chances. Granny, Bugs AND Daffy? I’ll be lucky to appear on the camera feed. Emcee Elmer says that our mystery guest is beloved in motion pictures, so that rules out me and Buddy. The person also is thoughtful of others, generous, charitable… Daffy is certain it’s none other than himself. Admitting that this constant praise would only be embarrassing if it wasn’t all true. And here comes Elmer now. Daffy happily introduces himself and tells Elmer that there’s much to tell. Don’t waste time talking to the rabbit next to him, just read out the name already!

So after Bugs is summoned to the stage, Elmer asks for him to start from the beginning. Bugs describes a scene he saw in “Fantasia” once. The Earth was young and tumultuous. Quakes and volcanoes abounded, but in a bit of water, life was starting out as microscopic blobs called protists. They probably used their flagella to kiss. That’s too far back for Elmer’s liking, so Bugs fast-forwards to 1947, when a hare was born in Manhattan.  We’re in a clip show after all. Shame Elmer cuts it after his first words. He wants to talk about the first time they met. Would that be “A Wild Hare” or “The Old Grey Hare“?

Guess I’m a pretty poor scholar. They first met in “Hare Do“. Duh! We just get to see Elmer lured over a cliff, before it’s time to move on. I love Bugs’s cheeky grin at remembering this. And Elmer’s book changes colors too. Elmer is a wizard. Time for a voice from Bugs’s past. It’s loud, gruff, rough, tough, devoid of fluff, buff, full of guff, a bit of huff, and that’s enough: it’s Yosemite Sam. Come to tell about the time Bugs was on his ship. Always a good idea to remember “Buccaneer Bunny“, but Sam never said it was a picture. Was he really a pirate in this continuity? Has he done hard prison time, then? Did he ever get another parrot?

Bugs is enjoying this trip through memory lane, but he’s the only one laughing. He even makes note of the time he threw lit matches in Sam’s powder room. Great callback! But the next two are total fabrications. Putting eels in their bed sounds kinda crass for Bugs, and covering them in cement is too dark. Elmer and Sam start plotting at this point, putting a lit bomb in a box for the bunny. Bugs takes it, but tries regifting once he hears it ticking. Do time bombs get lit fuses? A game of (extremely) hot potato erupts. Despite everything indicating the bomb was lit onstage and seen by everybody, Daffy decides to claim it for himself. Ah, but he probably had his eyes shut for most of it. Pleased to get what he claims is rightfully is, he explodes with happiness.

Favorite Part: Daffy complaining about his limelight being stolen by a nobody. While he rants, Granny starts looking for something. He correctly guess it’s her umbrella she wants, so he hands it to her. Glad to have it back, she smacks him. Almost makes me ignore the crazy eyes she has. Do the elderly enjoy crack?

Personal Rating: 3. I’m normally not so generous to the shorts that reuse clips, but the wrap around segment was enjoyable, took up most of the screen time, and showed a beautiful contrast of Bugs and Daffy’s egos.

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Holiday for Drumsticks

‘YOU WILL SOON BE SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS AND CRANBERRIES!’

Directed by Arthur Davis; Animation by Emery Hawkings, Basil Davidovich, J.C. Melendez, and Don Williams; Story by Lloyd Turner; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on January 22, 1949.

That’s a wonderful date to have a thanksgiving picture! No sarcasm here! I could probably handle seasonal depression easier with such a glorious feast! Please don’t leave me, summer! Life’s not worth living when it’s not you. And as for the actual plot…

Pa and Ma are hill folk, so they’re used to having some neighbor trying to kill them on a daily basis. Or even sooner. They’ve learned to make the best of it. Using the shots fired to open pouring holes in the coffee pot, light matches; the mundane things we all hate doing. Once they’ve gotten their use, they’re sure to plug ’em right back. Otherwise sleep would be awful difficult. Since Thanksgiving is approaching, Pa has brought home a turkey. Once he’s fattened up a bit, there will be plenty for me. I’m willing to share the cartilage.

Daffy isn’t at all pleased with his new roomie. (Yardie? Coopie?) According to him, there’s barely enough to eat as it is, and now most of that is going to the turk. Daffy stops him though, pointing out what’s going on here: they feed the turkey, in turn, he will feed them. Sounds fair to me, but Thomas is kinda selfish. Per Daffy’s coaching, he exercises as hard as he can. Faster! Stronger! Better! With all that lovely food going to waste, Daffy makes sure it goes to waist. Wait, confusion alert!

Does Daffy know about the actual plans? He kinda acts like he’s trying to pull a fast one. Has he really seen this happen before? Why all the hamming then? (Look who I’m talking about.) Why not be straight with the bird? “Hey fatstho! They’re gonna take a knife to ya! Why not let me eat the mostht to keep you trim? Nobody eatsth duck on Thanksthgiving!” Does he think Thomas won’t believe him otherwise? Why doesn’t Daffy encourage him to slim? I’ve seen a duck eat turkey meat. He really seemed to be enjoying it.

When the fated day arrives, the results are extreme. Thomas is basically spine and feathers. And a head and limbs of course. Daffy is a meatball. (What bird skeleton is on his munching table? Did Daffy stop any potential chance of turducken?) Pa takes one look at the turkey and deduces that he’s not healthy, and unlike other predators, humans only want the meat with the strength to fight back. As long as it’s tipping the scale of course. Daffy matches that description, and worse, I checked the rules; there actually isn’t anything saying you can’t have a different kind of fowl to celebrate the glory of the fourth Thursday. And duck is almost as tasty as turkey.

Daffy does his best to slim himself down, but it’s harder for him. He lacks Thomas’s discipline, and determination. Read: Pa keeps shooting all the exercise equipment. Daffy begs Thomas for help in hiding, which leads to what usually happens whenever Daffy asks for a turkey’s help, as evidenced in “Tom Turk and Daffy”. I’ve yet to actually discuss that one, and that’s probably why I have few visitors and fewer feedback. Ah, me. In case, you don’t know what I’m talking about, Thomas consonantly puts Daffy in painful hiding locations, deciding each one isn’t good. Wait, confusion alert!

Why is Thomas messing with Daffy? Even if Daffy hogged all the food for himself, the Thanksgiving threat was real. He helped saved you. Is he just trying to make sure the people don’t have to settle for turkey skeleton? Are turkeys just pricks by nature and I don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying their delectable muscles? Because as an animal lover, I have to. Thomas does have an actually sound solution: flee the country. The odds of death by Thanksgiving china, turkey and grease reduce significantly in places like China, Turkey and Greece. (I’m not proud of that one.)

Now that Daffy is dazed from the extreme hide and seek, he is happily wiling to waltz into the stove Thomas is calling a boat. (Hilariously, Ma and Pa are getting in on the action too, dressed as sailors.) If you think this ending is too dark, that’s just cause Ma can’t get a match lit. Daffy blows them out one by one. I guess he’s too fat to just leave the oven? He’s gotta Winnie-the-Pooh his way out now.

Favorite Part: As immature as it may be to say a funny face made me laugh as much as I did, the face Pa makes when he realizes how juicy Daffy is did me in.

Personal Rating: Well, it’s tough to say. A few confusing character moments didn’t help my scoring, and it was pretty much a weaker version of the previously mentioned “T.T.A.D.”. I’m feeling generous though. It is now officially recognized as a member of the 3 club. Welcome, and here’s your club robe.