Directed by Robert Clampett; Animation by Rod Scribner, Manny Gould, I. Ellis, and C. Melendez; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Michael Sasanoff; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1945.
What’s going on? Why is this place updating a day early? Well, I’m working tomorrow so you’ll have to put up with me during your holiday. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day! If you’re racist, the Martin Luther King snake will bite you!
This is a color remake of an earlier short by Clampett called “Injun Trouble.” This new title is much more friendly. If I was smart, I would have reviewed all the shorts in chronological order. (However, I amn’t smart.)
In 1849, the U.S. was a much smaller country. It was all relegated to the east coast and the rest of the land belonged to the red man, Injun Joe. (If he was born today, he’d be called Native American Joe.) But if you read your history books, (And I know you did. Kids love history!) you’ll know that the white men decided that the land was theirs and they would soon have it. A wagon train is headed to what is today known as California. (Back then, it was Joelifornia.) There are some familiar looking faces in those wagons. They look an awful lot like the gremlins from “Russian Rhapsody.”
Seeing as they’re entering enemy territory, (Containing such lovely locales as Joeklahoma, New Mexijoe, Minnejoeta, and Injunsaas.) they send out a scout to watch for trouble. Who better than my pal, Porky? Not too long after crossing the border, he finds the remnants of Joe’s last massacre. There’s only one survivor: Sloppy Moe. A blue-skinned runaway from Wackyland who may or may have clearly been driven insane by Joe’s wrath. He does admit to knowing something he won’t tell. Shouting that it’s a secret when Porky inquires. Porky shrugs him off as a lost cause.
Now why don’t we check in on this Joe character? How strong is he? And what of his age? Is the mighty Joe, young? Well, he’s certainly earned his title. He’s the original Joe Cool. He doesn’t walk around mountains, he walks through. Trees with what look like Tweety clones in his way? Them too, without pity. He reduces the most ferocious of bears into whimpering cubs, and bites bear traps into letting him go. Naturally, if you’re going to fight him, you’re going to have to send someone beyond cool, manly, and cunning. And I don’t see how you could disagree with me, but Porky fits that description. Unfortunately, Joe has found Porky’s wagon train and diverts them off course leaving them out in the open. You might think Joe loses coolness points for riding a stick horse, but that’s actually quite clever. What horse could hold his weight?
The train tries to fight back, but they don’t stand a chance. Joe uses whole trees as arrows and can make uses of bullets too. He crams them in his mouth and fires back cannon shells at them. Porky catches up and wrestles Joe’s tomahawk away from him and gives him a smack on the foot. At least he hurt Joe. That’s more than any of us could have done. The angry Injun causes Porky to jump out of his skin-colored pants, and chases him to a cliff. It looks bad. How could things get worse? Well, Moe comes back. He’s still singing about his secret, but Joe won’t put up with such tomfoolery and demands to know it. Turns out, he already did.
Moe’s secret is about Joe’s weakness: he’s ticklish. Using his beard Moe tickles the burly brave into submission and he falls off the cliff. The force of his impact causes all of his territory to be dragged down with him, stretching our country to it’s current size. Goodbye, U.S.J. and hello U.S.A. (Bet you didn’t know that the country was fully formed at that time. We just didn’t announce it until 1912.) It’s all thanks to our heroes: Porky the fearless and Sloppy Moe the brave. (Moe would appear years later on “Tiny Toons” when they did a parody of “The Great Piggy Bank Robbery.” There, he was called Ticklepuss.
Personal Rating: 4 Better than the original. (If I was smart, it’d be discussed by now.)
Executive Producer: Hal Geer; Bugs Bunny sequences Produced and Directed by Friz Freleng; Road Runner sequence Produced and Directed by Chuck Jones; Written by Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones, John Dunn, and Tony Benedict; Sequence Directors: Tony Benedict, Bill Perez, David Detiege, and Art Vitello; Voices by Mel Blanc and June Foray; Music by Doug Goodwin. Released in 1979.
Happy Holidays! Here’s a Christmas special that stars all your favorites! (Except Daffy.) It starts with Bugs having some problems with his carolers. Besides Ehlmuh’s obvious speech pwobwems, we h-have P-P-P-Porky s-st-st-s-st- having problems spitting out the words, Fog-ah say, Foghorn getting off the beat. Music that is! Et Pepe chante “Alouette” à la place. The only one who wouldn’t have a problem is Sam, but for whatever reason, he declines to ‘fa-la-la’. (Why though? We clearly saw him singing a few seconds ago.) Well, they make up for it with heart. We’ve got three new shorts made specifically for this program to enjoy.
“Bugs Bunny’s Christmas Carol”
Not as good as “Bah, Humduck!” in my opinion, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Scrooge is played by Sam with Porky as Bob Cratchit. Bugs is playing Fred. Kind of. He comes in to the establishment and annoys Sam with mistletoe. He also gives Porky some much needed coal to warm himself with. But Sam’s cat, Sylvester sees the pig warming himself, (Although it looks like Porky is smacking his butt at the cat.) and alerts his master. Sam angrily takes it back. Bugs next comes in with Elmer, Foghorn, and Pepe to sing but Sam has reached his breaking point. He throws them all out and fires Porky. (Don’t make me leave Red Hot Ryder‘s head in your bed, Sam.)
Grateful for Bug’s efforts regardless, Porky invites him to dinner. Porky naturally has a family of his own. (A stud like him? It was easy!) His wife is Petunia of course. (You know, according to Walt, Mickey and Minnie are married. I’m going to say that Porky and Petunia are too. It’s canon now.) They have three children. (‘Atta boy, Porky!) One I’m going to guess is played by his nephew, Cicero, from the comics, the girl is most likely Priscilla, debuting here, and the last is Tiny Tim. Played by Tweety. Apparently, he’s so small because he is only fed birdseed. (Porky!) But Sam’s evil deeds are not over, as he forecloses the mortgage on Porky’s house. Since I’m not born yet to let Porky’s family move in with me, it’s up to Bugs to save the day.
He tries the kind way first with more carols, but Sam chases them away. Well, that was the diplomatic approach, guess there’s no other choice but the hard way. Now that he’s awake, Sam tries to relax with a hot bath. Not wanting him to burn himself, Bugs thoughtfully fills the bath up with snow. Later, Bugs dresses as a ghost to scare Sam. (Seeing as how he probably never had a partner, he doesn’t pretend to be anyone Sam knew.) While searching for the source of the noise, Sam trips over Sylvester and they both end up outside.
Returning back to his warm bed, Sam agrees to let Sylvester stay with him. That’s sweet. But Sylvester and his color-changing nose beat it when Bugs appears before them. He tells Sam that he is taking him to see the man in the red suit. Although it’s not Santa as Sam hopes, that guess was only one letter off. Fearing for his soul, (although I do wonder what would have happened if Sam called Bug’s bluff,) he dresses as Santa and gives money to everyone he sees. He even makes Porky his partner! A Christmas feast is enjoyed by all! (Sam still doesn’t like kisses though.)
After the commercial break, Bugs compliments Sam on his acting. Sam admits that his acting was just that, and starts demanding his stuff back. Meanwhile, the feast is being watched by two sets of hungry eyes. Them belonging to Wile E. and the Road Runner. Seeing as they’re not invited, Wile E. chases the bird into our next short.
“Freeze Frame”
Wile E. is reading a fascinating book: “Everything you’ve wanted to know about roadrunners but were afraid to ask” (That’s on my Christmas list.) Turns out, being a desert animal, the Roadrunner (Semper Food-Ellus) can’t function in cold climates. So Wile E. (Grotesques Appetitus) orders a machine that can make snow. It only lands on the coyote, so he just switches some signs around. Even though the short “Beep, Beep” said that roadrunners can’t read, the bird follows the sign pointing to the desert and ends up on top of a mountain.
He really is out of his element, and ends up stranded on some ice. Wile E. skates over, but ends up sawing a hole around the bird. Seeing as this a cartoon, everything surrounding the cut part sinks, and the bird surfs back to shore. He next orders some sled dogs to help him chase down his prey. The poor things are kept in a crate with no air holes! So naturally, they’re a little cranky. (That, and it appears that they love Coyote meat.) Riding a rocking horse with a lasso only gets himself tied up and landing on some train tracks, and trying to crush the bird with a snowball had him get caught in it and soaring off a cliff. He wishes us a Merry Christmas before the short ends.
Back with Bugs he has his carolers hold a note. It’s then that his nephew, Clyde, reminds him of his promise to tell him a story. Clyde really was a character in a couple of shorts. But there he was voiced by Blanc, and here I think he is voiced by Ms. Foray, seeing as he sounds a lot like Rocket J. Squirrel. Seeing that his carolers are gasping for breath from the note sustaining, Bugs dismisses them and decides now is a great time to go tell said story.
“Fright before Christmas”
Up at the North Pole, Santa is waiting for his suit to finish drying. (Since it is air-drying, I think he’s not going to be too happy to wear it.) Meanwhile some pilots are flying their cargo over the North Pole. Contents: One Tasmanian Devil. (Aside from the plot, for what reason are they flying this animal over the Pole? Where is he being delivered to?) He breaks free and jumps out of the plane. (Don’t worry, he grabbed a parachute.) He lands in Santa’s suit and gets launched into his sleigh. Scared, the deer try to run off taking Taz along for the ride.
Meanwhile in an actual house, (I guess it belongs to Clyde’s parents. Or Bugs just prefers a roof over his head in Winter.) Bugs is reading Clyde “The Night Before Christmas” Everything seems to be just like in the poem. Except there is a mouse stirring: Speedy with his cocoa. When they hear “Santa” up on the roof, Bugs sends his nephew to bed. Taz comes down the chimney, and Bugs offers him plenty of food. By sheer coincidence, he has deviled ham, deviled eggs, and devils food cake! Not really. He just has milk and cookies. Taz takes them anyway, and begins to eat just about everything else in the house, while Bugs reads him Clyde’s outrageous Christmas list. Which among other things, demands a solid gold football, and a little brother. You’d think as a rabbit, he’d already have both. (Aren’t rabbits well known to be associated with their young and karats?)
Seeing as “Santa” is still hungry, Bugs offers to make him some popcorn. Impatient as he is, Taz eats it before its popped. Probably shouldn’t have done so in front of a roaring fireplace. He then makes to open a gift that is clearly not for him. Bugs sets up a holiday gift exchange and offers him to trade for a much bigger gift. He unwraps it outside at Bug’s suggestion and finds just what he wanted: more food. Well, it’s really a self inflating raft, but Taz has a strong imagination. He floats away and Clyde, (who I guess was secretly witnessing the whole thing) bemoans the fact that “Santa” left without giving him anything. (I hate when kids act that way. From now on, he only gets birdseed to eat.) Bugs and him then decide to return his sleigh. Not only is it the right thing to do, Santa just might let Clyde get first pick at the presents.
We end with Bugs and his carolers (Foghorn’s head is white for some reason) getting a sleigh ride from Taz. It’s kinda weird seeing him being used by Friz, but poor Bob had been dead by two years at this point, so he couldn’t really help out. It’s a nice gesture but it still ends with Taz eating the sleigh. (My favorite part is how they didn’t notice it happening.)
Personal Rating: 3
Merry Christmas from your own, Dr. Foolio! I’ll be checking in one more time before the year ends! Enjoy those holidays!
Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by John Carey; Story by Melvin Miller; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1940.
This short takes place in the year One billion, trillion B.C. Or if your mind isn’t able to picture such a ways back: it was a long time ago. It was a rough time. Strange monstrous animals roamed the earth, and according to a Jerry Colonna vulture, it was when men wanted big chests, babies were born with lots more hair, and women felt they only needed fig leaves to be dressed. They truly were wonderful days.
Living in cave number 123 1/2, is my pig, Porky. He starts his morning the way any caring pet owner does, by giving his animal companion, Rover, a bone. Rover is some sort of hippopotasaurus. A sauropod whose head is the only part that can fit in his house. The rest of his body has no choice but to brave the elements. But he is happy enough. He wags his tail so much, that nesting mothers in trees are forced to flee and some dinosaurs lose all of their armor plating. One raptor (avian in this case) angrily takes it as this apparently happens every day.
Next, Porky goes to get his mail. He rips the bills in half (Atta boy! Stick it to the ᶜᵃᵛᵉman!) and goes for his new issue of “Expire” magazine. (Which not only advertises Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies, but has some familiar looking names on the front, like Cob Blampett, Farren Woster, and Mubby Tillar.) Seems like the new styles are here, and Porky’s suit will just not do. Club in hand, he heads off into the wilderness to do some prehistoric clothes shopping. He knows no fear. Kicking a roaring therapod in the shin and breaking up a group of loitering nasties. He finds an adorable little kitten and does what I’m pretty sure everyone does when they see one: plans to kill it. Look at how sexy he looks! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t pose the same! Either way, the cub gets the drop on him with its own club and escapes.
Meanwhile, a saber-toothed feline of some sort is on the prowl. I’m not entirely sure what it is. Porky calls it a tiger but it has no stripes. It can’t be a species of smilodon because that tail is too long. I guess its a new species! Clampett may have discovered it, but he didn’t identify it, so it is now the Saber-toothed leopard. (Panthera clampettitus.) Seeing as it is close enough to dinner time, he tries to have some cave bacon. Porky is not scared and takes a swing. The predator is too hard headed though and chews his club into clothespins. He chases and soon corners the cave pig.
Porky apologizes saying he never meant any harm, he just wanted a new suit. (Best excuse ever. It’s kept me out of prison.) The feline says that Porky should have just said so. He can get one for him wholesale!
Personal Rating: 3, unless you’re a Porky fanboy. (Like me. Then it’s a 4.)
Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Norman McCabe; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1940.
This short is based on the book “The Pains Came.”
At a hospital, we see that the floors are organized by the alphabet, leading me to believe there are 26 floors. We get some hospital gags including a paging for “Sir Jury” and a list of the days births. Not all surprisingly, the rabbits are winning with a total of 490. Proto-Bugs makes a cameo to correct the number to 750. What’s interesting is this came out after Bugs made his fully fleshed out debut in “A Wild Hare.” (But then, I’m sure both were being worked on at roughly the same time.)
One ward is under the care of Dr. Chris Chun. (No relation to the amazingly charismatic Dr. Foolio.) He checks on his patients. Poor little Olley Owl has to shout that he can’t talk above a whisper, whilst another patient gets some good news: his bones are literally knitting. Herbie the hippo is in because he swallowed a piano. Cartoon or not, why would he do that? Is this a mental ward? That would explain Crazy Cat in the next bed. (Note: Crazy with a “C”, I don’t need to be sued.) He delights in playing said piano and annoying Herbie. It can’t be good for his digestive system either.
Porky enters the scene asking for a doctor. Chun must be on lunch or something because that mentally unstable cat leaps at the chance. Introducing himself as Dr. Chilled Air, he asks the pig what’s wrong. Seems Porky ate too much at a birthday party: 3/4 of a cake with the candles still lit! (Cool!) Making like a horror film, the cat puts him in a hospital gown and happily sings about his first patient. He wheels my pal into surgery and gleefully sharpens some knives. Porky is getting rightfully freaked out, especially when the phony physician starts aiming to saw him open without any anesthesia. Making a break for it, Porky runs for home.
Unfortunately, Crazy McCutlery, is right behind. But Porky has a plan. When the maniac corners him in his bed he finds a sign on Porky’s gut: “Do not open until Christmas.” This doesn’t hold him for long though, as he hops in bed with him intending to wait. (I swear cat, if anything bad happens to my buddy, I will submit you to horrors so psychologically scarring, that you will turn sane with fear! Oh wait. This short is over seventy years old and Porky is still alive. My mistake.)
Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Manny Gould, John Carey, Charles McKimson, and Phil DeLara; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1949.
Today is the Summer Solstice, which means it’s been at least four months since my fight with my good pal, Porky. I went to him recently and asked what it would take to earn his forgiveness. He’s a good guy and he didn’t ask for much: Just a short starring him that ends with him being the victor being talked about. Done and done! (Or it will be in about one summary later.)
The town of Hamelin has been cleared of rats. Good news, right? Not for the cats of the town. (It’s not like they could eat mice or birds or fish or lizards or…) They go to complain to the supreme cat. (Just like their wild cousins the lions, domestic cats have a monarchy.) Supreme there looks familiar doesn’t he? He looks an awful lot like the cat who would appear about seven months later in “Swallow the leader.” But since they are calling him “Supreme”, maybe he is just Miles’s brother. Anyway, he vows to help his people. The piper who got rid of the mice is going to get paid. But if for some reason there was still at least one rat in the town, he’d get gypped. Putting on a rat suit he heads out.
Said piper is none other than Porky. Playing a rather catchy rendition of “Little Brown Jug” he was able to successfully drive the rodents away. All except that large one. (Who asks if they were expecting Bugs Bunny.) The mayor refuses to pay until it’s gone, and so Porky sets off. You know how in the original story, the mayor refuses to pay the piper anything and so said piper just drives the children out of town? Don’t think Porky isn’t bass enough to do that too. He’s just a nice guy.
Porky loses track of the rodent, instead bumping into some rude cat who says the pig’s sister “smokes corn silk.” (What?) Porky mentions that he’s wrong. His sister works in a butcher shop and smokes hams. Make of that what you will. Finding a labeled rat hole, Porky tries to lure it out. He gets scolded by the cat for bothering a sick baby. (“I’m not long for this world.”) The rat then shows up and whips his tail at the pig. Porky chases again, but loses him once more.
He tries luring him out again, and the rat pretends to fall for it. But when Porky notices it’s not following him anymore he runs back and crashes into the cat again. This time he remarks that Porky’s brother “eats jellybeans.” Porky wonders how he knows so much about his family. (That’s just one fact though. He got the other one wrong, didn’t he?) When Porky does manage to grab the rat, Supreme jumps out of the suit, leaving the piper with an empty skin. Porky has killed it! But supreme has stolen all the cash in town. (Which is Porky’s new reward. He’s earned it.)
Losing the slippery feline again, Porky “figures” he might as well bring the rats back. Or rather he plays the very specific record that I left for him to find: “Rat stampede to fool cats on the other side of the fence with.” Taking the bait, Supreme rushes out to what’s sure to be a feast. Porky pounds him and gets his money. But not before telling the cat that his sister “… drives a pickle wagon.” (Yeah! Tell him! It makes sense when you say it!)
Directed by Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson.
#1. A promo for the show. Besides mentioning that Bugs and Daffy are in it. The only characters they mention are Oscar winners: Pepe, Tweety, Sam, Sylvester and Speedy. C’mon, where is the love for Porky? Never letting him win is why I can’t trust their opinions.(On another note, Porky still hasn’t forgiven me for showing his breakdown reel.)
Personal Rating: 2
#2. Bugs is eating Post Alpha-bits but runs out. He needs more because they are made of oats, and oats give you energy. So he blows up a balloon to hop the fence of Elmer, who shoots him down. (That’s Mel voicing Elmer. He hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet.) Bugs ends up landing in the man’s kitchen and dazes Fudd. Sending Elmer out the door, saying he’s going home, Bugs enjoys his ill gotten gains. Elmer comes back to his senses and throws Bugs out. Bugs comes back and takes the cereal. He’s going to need all their energy to escape the gunfire.
Personal Rating: 3
#3. While eating Post Alpha-bits, Bugs hears Elmer approaching. Seems someone robbed him of his bits. Disguised as a cop, Bugs hears Elmer blame him before asking him to describe the bits. Elmer describes them as only one can in a commercial. (It’s cereal…er surreal hearing a commercial mentioning their product has sugar. That won’t fly today.)
Personal Rating: 3
#4. Bugs (in disguise) hops on Elmer’s tandem bike with him. Seems Post Alpha-bits are now brown sugar frosted. (Which lets be honest, brown sugar tastes better than plain.) Bugs takes them for himself. (Somehow splitting the bike in two) and digs in. Elmer brought his gun with him though, but it doesn’t matter as Bugs ate them all. But he makes up for it and brings Fudd more. Distracted by the generosity, Elmer bikes off a cliff.
Personal Rating: 3
#5. Enough with the bits. Bugs shows off how strong he has gotten by eating Post Sugar Crisp. The whole wheat makes him invulnerable to the hammers Daffy tries to smash him with.
Personal Rating: 2
#6. Seeing Sam coming his way with Post Sugar Crisp, Bugs disguises himself as a guy at a hunting lodge. Sam tells how he is hunting Bugs because he steals Post Sugar Crisp to make him strong. Bugs demonstrates, but is kind enough to invite Sam to join him. Since he can’t beat him, Sam does.
Personal Rating: 2
#7. Sam is panning for gold. Watching from the bushes, Bugs comes out in prospector garb and tells him that Cactus Canyon has just had a gold rush. Sam leaves asking Bugs to watch his claim. Bugs was really only after his Tang. He gets it and escapes from the angry Sam.
Personal Rating: 3
#8. Bugs is running a carnival game. Shoot a duck and win Tang. (Which he mentions is orange flavor. Isn’t that the only flavor it comes in? Even a good 50 years later?) Daffy hates to hurt a potential relative but really wants the Tang. (Sound reasoning.) He misses and finds out that Bugs was hampering his chances. Being the one holding a rifle, Daffy takes over the game. Hit Bugs and win the Tang! (It’s refreshing to see Daffy win for once. So is Tang!)
Personal Rating: 4
#9. Bugs as a bartender in a saloon faces a customer. It’s Sam who demands a drink. Bugs only has Tang which Sam begrudgingly takes. He likes it! Turns out he’s a wanted criminal though. (No! Really?) He makes Bugs dance, but the rabbit uses a rope to tie him up. Sam requests just one more glass of Tang. Bugs refuses.
Personal Rating: 3
#10. Bugs is going into space as the first rabbit to land on Jupiter. Elmer launches him. It was all a ruse to keep Bugs from stealing his Tang. Removing one’s Tang supply is the best way to get even. Upon landing Bugs finds that not only is there air on Jupiter, (I mean, why else would he take the helmet off?) but the planet gets its orange color from all the Tang there. At least he won’t bother you anymore, Elmer.
Personal Rating: 3
#11. Bugs and Daffy squabble over a Post cereal 6-pack. Nothing more.
Personal Rating: 1
#12. Bugs tells of Post cereal. Nothing less. (They remembered Porky existed!)
Personal Rating: 2
(Those grades are me basing on how well I think they advertised their products.)
It starts by telling us this is an adaption of the story “20,000 leaks under the ceiling.” (I’d read that. Couldn’t be as boring as its source material.) We see a mouse happily skipping and whistling down the street. A hungry looking cat is close behind. He’s not really trying to be quiet or sneaky, so I’m not too surprised when the mouse makes a sudden turn and the cat ends up in mud. Stupid cat, mice are snake food.
Elsewhere, we see a pet fish shop run by my good friend Porky. (He owns the place, but it’s under new mis-management? I’ll just take that to mean that the fish are in charge of themselves.) Peeking in the window shows a fish that is somehow resting at the bottom of its bowl with its eyes closed. (Must be a new species. I’ve never seen a 14 karat gold fish.) Inside, Porky and the fish serenade us with a song about why they are good pets. And fish puns abound! There are A.C. and D.C. electric eels, (Which aren’t really eels. I know about fi… oh forget it.) a perch on a perch, a mackerel full of holes, and some soles tapping along to the music. There’s even a chorus line of legs dancing. This is what I’m talking about! Maybe I should buy me some of these sexy fish.
The curtain goes up revealing a disturbing octopus is the owner of all of them. (And I take back my comment. Sexy fish are one thing, but sexy mollusks are out of the question. You’d think I’d learn. This gag was used two years earlier in the short “Porky’s five and ten.”) After the song ends, it’s lunch time. Porky goes on his way and I wish I could join him. (That octopus won’t leave me alone now.) As he leaves, the cat from earlier walks by. He happily enters this all you can eat buffet. He reaches into a tank, causing an oyster that looks more like Cecil Turtle than a bivalve, to hide under it’s bed. (Clever pun.) The cat does get his mitts on a cute little fish who is powerless to resist. If only she was a piranha.
Good thing the eels saw the whole thing, and flash a message to the rest of the store. A turtle mounts a seahorse and warns of the danger, a tuna lays an infant-try, (That’s my joke. The tuna clucking is theirs. Chicken of the sea, you know) and a flying fish takes off like a plane. The cat is scared and backs into another tank that contains a hammerhead shark, who bonks him on the head. (Don’t question why you can buy it, purchase today!) One of the eels shocks the cat, and he flings the fish into the air. The flying fish grabs her. I’m really just guessing it’s a her. It has eyelashes, and since fish don’t usually have those, its probably the only way to tell its gender. At least the tuna laid eggs. …That were already fertilized… That’s not how it works!
The cat falls into a tank where he is punched by a mussel. (Another good joke.) I bet you didn’t know those creatures had Popeye’s arms. The cat flies out of the shop just as Porky returns. Back in street, the cat is pleased to see that mouse from before. He rears to attack, but the mouse growls at him. The cat regresses into the kitten he was on the inside the whole time. Go back to milk, junior. Fish are big-cat food.
“G-G-G-Guess what we’re gonna have for dinner t-t-tomorrow night?”
Directed by Robert Clampett. Released in 1940.
Before we begin, I’d like to say a few words before my words. I have mentioned the following before, but I don’t know how many people read my older posts, so I’ll reiterate here: I think suicide can be funny when it’s used as a joke in media. Now, in real life, suicide is never the answer. I’m not a psychiatrist or even really that good at being sensitive, so you probably shouldn’t take this opinion seriously, but to me, killing yourself proves you really don’t give a f*ck about the people in your life. They are the ones who really suffer in these situations. Forever wondering if it was their fault. If they could have helped. And since we have no proof of an afterlife, they don’t even have the guarantee they’ll see you again.
But in cartoons, it’s totally fine and often very funny. (To me.) Remember in “Rabbit Romeo” when Bugs forced a goldfish to kiss Millicent? It killed itself and that was funny. As long as you ensure that the situation the character is in isn’t too sad/serious, I’m not going to complain. I’m sorry for making you read all of this, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea when I laugh at the suicide that takes place in this short.
One night at Porky’s place, he is reading his paper and sees that fishing season will begin tomorrow. He excitedly gets decked in his angling gear. (Personally, I find fishing one of the most boring and yet barbaric wastes of time.) He lets his cat know of tomorrow’s dinner by imitating a fish. To most, that is simply a humorous picture, but to someone with icthiophobia, that is the stuff of nightmares. (NotthatIwouldknow.) The cat is so excited he bounces around the house. (Why does Porky have an empty fish bowl?) He even kisses a mouse. This action makes the canary of the house pull a gun on himself, since he’s now seen everything. (Fun-ny. And I’ll thank all of you who have suicidal thoughts to stop ruining comedy for me.)
They head to bed. Porky counts sheep, but his cat (who is sleeping in a drawer, because there’s no point wasting money on a bed for an animal that won’t even use it.) counts fish. When you have an obsession, it’s near impossible to sleep while thinking about it. No surprise, the cat hits 1,000,000 and is still awake. He takes something for insomnia: A hammer to the head. The next day, pig and cat each have cast lines. (The cat’s line tied to his tail.) A flying fish approaches. That’s not a freshwater fish, but am I really complaining about that, while the fish is literally flying? Yes. I just don’t want people to go to a lake and expect flying fish. I know about fish.
The cat takes a swipe and the fish is down. Not really. This fish is like if Daffy had gills and fins. He jumps around laughing hysterically and talking with a weird vibrating voice. (I like him. He’s silly.) Porky seems to get him on his hook, but the fish just does a yo-yo imitation. (Why not try fly fishing? I know about fish.) The fish sticks one of his pectoral fins out of the water to imitate a shark. Porky falls for it, and warns the cat. The cat is a moron and doesn’t know that sharks have been found in freshwater. (I know about fish.) He calls the fish’s bluff only to find it really is a shark. (I don’t really get how that happened.) The cat runs off into the distance much to the shark’s confusion. “Pussycats is the cwaiziest peoples.”
Ready for the rest? We are told that during the war was when Bugs was at his most popular. A smart aleck who was not afraid of anyone and calmly told them to be gone or suffer the consequences? We rocked in the mascot department! Those Nazi’s were stuck with Swazie Tika the talking rock. (If you actually were believing that, then I’m worried about you. Please lay down) The next short they show is “Rhapsody Rabbit” (Nothing like saying how awesome a character is, before showing some of their work where they are not the victor) We are then treated to some of the hijinks that went on at the studio. Dancing, picking noses, and even kissing Porky’s @$$. (You better do that. He saved your company from the mouse) Then we are shown “Walky Talky Hawky.” Why question it? Clampett mentions that while Bugs is their biggest star, Porky was the first. Porky was actually based on a fat kid from his youth. (He was actually called Porky. What an honor.) As time went by, they put Porky on a diet to make him cuter. Then of course came Daffy. Clampett shows off the frames from the ducks’s first appearance (“Porky’s Duck Hunt”) that he drew. Before comparing it with Daffy’s strip tease from “The Wise Quacking Duck.” Since these two were so wonderful together, we are shown “My Favorite Duck.” Next they bring up Mel Blanc and his unfortunate carrot allergy, and how they tried every other vegetable they could. But only carrots sound like carrots. They show us “Hair-raising Hare” and immdiately afterwards show “The Old Grey Hare.” The end! The credits are also pretty funny. Look and see for yourself!
Bugs Bunny-Himself
Daffy-Daffy Duck
Porky-P-P-P-Porky P-P-Pig
Elmer Fudd-Elmer C. Fudd (Yes, I know his middle intial is really J)
Directed by Frank Tash. (His first for Warner Bros.) Released in 1936
At the titular plant, a rooster rousts everyone out of bed. Porky included. He sets to work taking care of his birds. (This scene becomes less precious when you remember WHY poultry is raised. Sorry for ruining your happiness.) He has many chickens, ducks and geese and they are very hungry. Porky satisfies their cravings by giving them corn. One chick just can’t fight the rush. Porky pretends to throw a huge handful, and gives it all to the chick. He’s even willing to charm some worms out of the ground for the other chicks. Yes, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong here.
But sadly, Porky has lost several good hens. One was taken in June of 1936. (The same year Tashlin started at W.B) Another was named Dorothy. (Like Tashlin’s wife.) It seems they were all the victims of a hawk. (Looks more like an eagle to me.) Said hawk is actually cruising overhead, looking for tasty morsels. Porky rings the alarm and all the birds take cover. After the predator leaves, one hen realizes one of her chicks is missing. Yes it appears that the hawk did make off with little (lets call him) Chippy. Rather than letting nature take its course, Porky gets in his airplane and goes after him. Seriously though, if the hawk got the mother, than ALL the chicks would die. (Yes, I am glad Porky is so devoted to his birds.)
He manages to shoot off the buteo’s tail feathers and this causes it to call for reserves. Many hawks arrive and torture Porky by pulling his tail, and dropping eggs on him. (Uhhhhhh… That’s like a human… never mind. I’m not going there.) The battle goes into a cloud, where the birds get Porky’s gun away from him. They shoot and Porky goes down. All’s good though, he crashes into a windmill and gets a brand new propeller. Then for the best part: they start a game of football WITH the chick! (That is hilarious, cruel, and adorable all at once.) The rooster (Ted Pierce) narates everything.
After a few passes, one of the hawks fumbles. Porky gets Chippy back and expels some exhaust for the hawks to fly into. I don’t know if it kills them or knocks them out, but as they fall, the hens dig a hole for them to fall into, and bury them. So, they’re definitely dead now. Porky returns Chippy to his mother and all is well. OR IS IT? A shadow flies over the plant, sending the hen into hysterics. Porky readies his gun, but all IS well. The shadow belonged to the weather vane.
