Category: Porky Pig

My favorite character of all time! Second only to Bugs for most appearances, and that’s not small, folks.

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Porky the Fireman

“Scram outta here!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1938.

The alarm goes off at Hook and Ladder Co. No. 1! Porky and the rest of the crew speed off to fight the fire. (Stopping in front of some product placement.) The men punch in, Porky too. (In fact, he wins the lottery doing that.) They begin their duties, but of course, problems arise. Porky yells for the water to be turned on. The little guy by the hydrant slowly and in the most indirect pathway possible walks over to ask what Porky said. Then he walks all the way back in the same manner.

The fire is fierce and refuses to go out without a fight. Many people are still inside as well. A fat woman screams for help, and the little guy climbs the ladder, grabs her, and drops her. (Favorite part.) An old man jumps out the window and uses his beard as a parachute. Another person falls though a smoke cloud and comes out as an unfunny blackface caricature. Porky is so bass (short for bad @$$) that he can scoop the fires into a bucket before putting them out in a fishbowl. A montage of events we just saw take place until finally the fire is out. Or is it? One little flame cautiously peeks out of the rubble and is instantly squirted by the crew. It retaliates by squirting them all back. The villain won this time.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky’s Railroad

“Am-scray you m-m-mess of te-te-t-bones!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1937

We see the 515, which is a huge speeding train! Obviously, this must be Porky’s vehicle. Why else would his name be in the title? Guesswhatit’snot. Porky is the engineer of a more humble locomotive. Less of a 515, and more of a 13 1/2. Her name is Toots and she’s a crack train. (And so is her driver. Their words, not mine!) How slow is Toots? A snail is easily able to outpace her. But then, she is powered by a lone candle. Plus the occasional sprinkle of pepper to give her a speed boost.

Porky is forced to take a stop as their is a cow on the tracks who refuses to move. Of course, she does move when she feels like it, but while she leaves, a bull passes her by and heads into some nearby bushes. Porky missed this, and when he sees a tail on the tracks, he naturally assumes it’s the cow again. He pulls on it, but luckily finds out it’s not a cow in time, and he speeds off. But more bad news threatens to spoil his day, as the dispatch office is told that Porky’s train should be taken off the rails. Someone new is to take his place in his shiny new ride, “The Silver Fish.”

Porky is sad, but proves he is mature by wishing the new guy good luck. He seems like a decent enough fellow, but he does have the gall to insult Toots. Porky actually confides to us that he is sure his train would win in a race. (He can see me!) That other guy heard it too, and accepts. The race begins and the new driver is clearly the owner of faster material. The Silver Fish can leap over boats, whereas Toots has to drive over them. (Clever nod to Schlesinger’s boat. Why else would it be called the S.S. Leon?)

As Porky is crawling along, he passes by that bull from earlier. And wouldn’t you know it? He’s still mad about Porky pulling his tail. He charges into Toots and the resulting momentum propels her over the finish line! Porky wins and is the new captain of The Silver Fish. (Poor new guy, that was probably his first day on the job.) And Toots? Well, I guess Porky doesn’t want her anymore as she is a passenger on the new train, heading for the last hoosegow. Rest well ole girl. You did great out there.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky in the North Woods

“When I catch him, I will tear him limb from tree!”

Directed by Frank Tash. Released in 1936

Porky is the proud owner of a game refuge. There is absolutely no hunting, trapping, fishing, and firing around. Sounds great. All the animals definitely think so. But a evil character named Jean-Baptiste, is out setting bear traps, fishing, and just tossing torches around any dang way. (It’s Billy Bletcher again. Who I’m just now realizing has played many of my favorite villains: The Big Bad Wolf, Lawyer Goodwill, The Yellow Scientist, The Pincusion man, just to name a few.)

Cut to two beavers. One named Benny. (Although I’ve read alternate sources saying it’s Betty) who is in the middle of a game of leapfrog with another. (Who I will call either Benny or Betty. Whichever the other one isn’t.) They spy an apple and rush forwards eagerly. But apparently there is only enough for one, and after the tussle, Benny/Betty happily grabs his/her prize. Surprise! It’s a trap. (For shame Jean, hunting beavers with a bear trap.) Betty/Benny runs to go find Porky. (But not before helping herself/himself to the now safe apple.)

She/he gets Porky and he comes back to free the other. (Who is voiced by Bernice Hansen.) But there’s more trouble. A rabbit somehow got only it’s ears caught in one. (How did it end up doing that?) And a weasel got it’s whole body caught in another. (All right I’m going to say it. You purposely let that happen. Masochist.) Jean meanwhile, is not happy to find all of his traps empty, and vows to make Porky pay. Porky however, isn’t running away, he’s running a first-aid station, where he irons out all the animals bodies to straighten them out again.

Jean finds this, and marches in. (And gets his fingers ironed.) Caught, Porky has no chance of escape and Jean roughs him up quite a bit. (Clearly he’s the victim here. I mean his illegal traps were robbed.) Seeing Porky in danger, one of the beavers pulls an alarm (Moose) and alerts all of mother nature’s finest. Bears! Skunks! Turtles? (I figure they’d be hibernating.) All coming to the rescue. Jean tries to flee on skis, but the animals still beat him up with various tools and send him headfirst into the snow, leaving only his skis above ground. The beavers in turn, make this into a see-saw.

Personal Rating: 3

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Little Beau Porky

“You! Scrub my Camel!”

Directed by Frank Tash

At a Foreign Legion outpost, “Le Comandent” comes out to speak to the troops. He has so many medals, he jangles whenever he steps. Looking over everyone, he sees Porky at the end dozing off. He calls him up for a camel wash. As they walk, Porky imitates him, but “Le Comandent” is not amused. Porky tries his best to wash the ungulate, but it keeps standing up and laying down. Whichever is the opposite of Porky’s location.

While that is happening, an injured soldier comes by to deliver a message. It seems like a man named Ali Mode is coming to attack. Everybody rushes out to the rescue. Even Porky. (Riding the camel that I’m pretty sure was established to not be his) “Le” tells him that as a camel scrubber, he is not allowed to come. Claiming he’s not scared, Porky locks up everything anyway. (Says he felt a draft.)

With everyone gone, Ali tries to take advantage of the (what he believes is empty) post. He knocks at the door Porky is hammering shut, and gets the Pig to believe it’s an echo. Soon enough, Porky catches on and Ali’s forces attack. They dig into the base, but Porky chops a tree that lands on all of them, and sends them back outside. Porky defends the whole place, and he kicks butt! Even that camel I don’t think he owns helps out. At the end of the short, it’s revealed that Porky is now “Le Comandant.” (He has so many medals, they hang off of his uniform.) Even that camel gets some recognition. With medals stretched between his humps. (Wait, how’d a bactrian camel get here anyway?)

Personal Rating: 3

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The Case of the Stuttering Pig

“I’m going to get rid of those pigs!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin

Ahh. It feels good to be talking about my good pal, Porky again. Our story begins and, “It was a dark and stormy night.” Inside a house, there are six pigs. The majority of which seem frightened out of their wits, but my man Porky is smiling. Until, there’s a knock at the door. That sends all of them into the air. (I would like to point out that Porky IS wearing pants in this short) There’s no need to worry however, it’s only thier good friend, Lawyer Goodwill. (voiced by Billy Bletcher. Yeah, he can play a nice character can’t he?) Apparently, good, old, uncle Solomon Swine, (who looks an awful lot like Olliver Hardy) had passed away. Goodwill is here to read the (good) will. Or rather, he just lets them read it. Is that allowed? Seems their Uncle is leaving his entire house to his niece and nephews. (And he also seems to not want to be burried on the lone prarie.) But wait! There’s more! If they die, then Solomon’s friend, Goodwill gets everything! (They seem a little too interested in reading that part) Goodwill leaves. *phew* I though for sure he’d kill them. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal to have a secret lair in the basement of your dead friends house. Goodwill must be thirsty as he pours himself a nice glass of “Jeckyll and Hyde Juice.” Turning into something I’m sure we’ve all seen in our nightmares at some point, he announces his plan to remove what stands in the way of his inheiritance. (Huh. I never saw it coming.) He tells us all in the audience that we can’t do jack to help. (darn) Especially the guy in the third row. Anyways, Porky and his (siblings? cousins? I don’t think it’s ever stated) are all getting settled in. But the lights keep turning off and on, and each time, another of the pigs dissapear. First, Patrick. Then Peter. And Percy. And then Portus. Until thery’re all gone. Well, acutally, Porky and Petunia just went hiding behind the chair. (Out of all Petunia’s appearances, this is the only one where she and Porky are related.) Goodwill meanwhile, tells the others how he plans to do them in, as soon as he gets the last two. (why not? might as well get it done all at once) Before leaving, he mocks the  third row guy again. He captures Petunia quite easily, but I guess decides to have fun with Porky first, as he just follows him in Petunia’s place. When Porky notices, he runs up the stairs and leaps into the safety of Goodwill’s arms. (That juice must give you superhuman abilities. and duck feet) Porky runs again and finds his…sibl…cous…family stuck in some stocks. He frees them, but it appears to be too late! Goodwill has them cornered and moves in for the kill. When, all of a sudden, a chair flies in, hits Goodwill, and lands him in the stocks himself. Who could have done such a kind gesture? It’s the guy in the third row of course. (Voiced by Mel Blanc, in his normal voice)

Personal Rating: 4

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Bugs Bunny Superstar Part 1

A 1975 documentary, narrated by Orson Welles of all people. It begins by showing us many of our country’s greatest landmarks. (The U.S.A. for anyone foreign visiting) One of which, is the studio that we know as Termite Terrace. The birthplace of the greatest cartoon character ever, (Porky may be my favorite, but based on greatness I can’t argue) Bugs Bunny. After showing us the short “What’s Cookin Doc?” Clampett tells us that the cartoons were made primarily for adults. (And yet, Watch mojo didn’t know this, putting Looney Tunes as the number one cartoon series made for kids that adults watch. morons) We see alot of awesome merchandise too. I want most of it. Okay, I want all of it. We learn that they were the only animation studio in the WB lot and as such, they were close to the greats. Clampett actually recalls seeing Jolson put on his make-up for the Jazz Singer. (Isn’t it a shame that the first talking film had racsism in it?) Being so close, meant that the stars would freqeuntly poke their heads in, to see what was being drawn. Doing this so often, of course meant that they would be caricatured. Clampett was teamed up with Tex Avery and they named their new HQ Termite Terrace. (So named, because of the dilapidated state of the place) They had good times as Tex and Friz Freleng tell us that they basically did waht they wanted. We’re then shown the short “A wild hare.” (Which for some reason is called THE wild hare here.) From the mid depression to the end of WWII was what they considered their golden age. A time when most of their characters were born. Back then, they had to be their own models for their drawings, so they could sketch the faces just right. We’re also told, tht despite the fact Bug’s carrot looks like Groucho’s cigar, the bit is actually based on Clark Gable eating a carrot in “It happened one night.” Saying that watching that scene, they didn’t see Gable, only a giant rabbit. They also acted out the scenes too, as we see Avery pretend to be a scarecrow. Mentioning Carl Stalling, we actually see some of his scores. But it’s more fun to listen to, and we are shown “A Corny Concerto.” (Finally. A short I talked about) But of course, Bugs wasn’t the only star there, as Clampett explains that Tweety was based on his own nude baby photos. He also mentions that the censors complained about Tweety being naked, and yet, they never noticed that Porky had no pants. (Porky is too cool for that) To end off part 1, we are shown the short, “I taw a putty tat.”

Part two will come someday. If you’re reading this in the futrure, then it may already be here. Go check it out.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Deleted Scenes and Final Thoughts)

At least, these are the deleted scenes on my DVD copy of the movie.

Scene #1: An alternate opening. A Batman parody with Daffy as Batman and Elmer as some evil music composer type character. He plays a pipe-organ robot that destroys the city. The citizens running include: Ralph Phillips, Hercules, and Giovanni Jones. Porky and Speedy play the cops. Daffy easily stops Elmer, but the Warner Bros. stop this script reading there, stating that Daffy can’t kill Elmer. Daffy mentions that he comes back from the dead, and Elmer runs off crying in fear.

Scene #2: A bunch of romance scenes involving Kate and D.J., the funniest being Bugs and Daffy pointing out their obvious attractions. (Daffy: “He likes long walks on the beach…” D.J.: “You just made that up.” Bugs: “And she has a weakness for unemployed guys.” Daffy: “And he has a weakness for being unemployed.”)

Scene #3: A bunch of gags at Area 52. Including: Bug’s dressing up as a boxing referee, and getting two Daleks to fight each other, and D.J. feeding one of the fiends without a face to a triffid.

Scene #4: When Bob is holding Kate hostage on the Eiffel Tower, D.J. is constantly buying paperweights from a gift shop and throwing them at Bob’s head

Scene # 5: Kate having more of a sense of humor. Telling the “impatient cow knock-knock joke” and playing hairdresser with Gossamer. (Wait why wasn’t he in this movie?)

Scene # 6: A scene showing what happens at ACME when you don’t push your buzzer. Mr. Chairman has you wrapped up in plastic wrap.

Scene #7: Final scene. In this draft, the Blue Monkey apparently reverts something to an earlier state. At the temple, D.J. has turned his dad into a monkey so he can get away. Mr. Chairman rants about wanting to throw people into the lava, and Bugs getting zapped and turns into Proto-Bugs. (Great gag.) Daffy gets a hold of the diamond and accidentally turns Bugs and Kate into neanderthals. (Bug’s from “Mad as a Mars Hare”) Daffy accidentally aims at himself and becomes an egg. A whistle blows, and Bob leaves his shift and actually talks. Mr. Chairman pulls Taz out of a bag to frighten our heroes. D.J. aims at Mr. Chairman who claims it will only make him smarter, because of him being descended from geniuses. D.J. instead shoots Tweety who has been around this whole time. Mr. Chairman gets the diamond before realizing birds are descended from dinosaurs. The Tweetysaurus flies up and eats him, and Taz crumbles to bits.

Scene #8: Various Daffy gags. Naming restaurants he’s banned at, saying he has special needs, becoming part fly at Area 52, (thanks to Bugs) and various bits of him getting hurt at the temple.

These deleted scenes are very fun to watch as Bugs and Daffy provide the commentary.

Final thoughts: I love this movie! It has action, heart, comedy, cartoons, an entertaining villain, and I can watch it time and time again and not get bored. To me it is the best movie I ever saw.  Are there any problems I have? Well, yes. I still question Shaggy and Scooby being there, and I still hate the part where Taz farts. And I have a very personal problem of there not being enough Porky. But those are small complaints.

It’s a shame that this movie was a flop. But it might have been avoided if the W.B. had advertised it better.  If you’ve never seen this movie, then I think you really ought to. I don’t care who you are or what your preferences are, watch this film!

A fun little side note, you may or may not know this, but on the special features menu, you can highlight the water tower and find a scene of Sam blowing up. Eater egg!

Personal rating: Well, I hate to do this, but I’d probably have to give this film a 3 for the majority of people. It’s good, but I can’ see it converting anyone. Then again, if you are already a full-fledged Looney-tic, then all the cameos, in-jokes, and beautiful blending of live action and animation, earns this a 4. (If you’re me or my clone, then it’s a 5. And well deserved of that number.)

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 5)

Back at Acme, Mr. Chariman is gloating over the success of getting the phone. Damian still believes that D.J. will foil his plans. Mr. Chairman has the Peter Lorre scientist keep using a machine that makes Damien hit himself. Looking at the map photo, they see that Daffy got himself in the shot, making it useless. They decide to go face our heroes and bring their most dangerous operative: The Tasmanian Devil. (When the Vice President of “Never Learning” points out that he’s kinda dumb, Taz is allowed to eat him.)

In Africa, our heroes are making slow progress when who should appear? No not Inki. (That would’ve been an awesome but probably problematic cameo.) It’s Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety on an geographically incorrect elephant. (Yes, I know why they’re not using the African variety.) They offer them a ride. Bugs points out how they came at just the right time, and Granny and Sylvester share a evil look. Could THEY be Acme agents? The group take a safari and end up at the temple. Granny bids them farewell. (Phew. I guess they were all right.)

When they enter, Daffy sets off a booby trap by taking a small monkey-like object off a pedestal. Kate figures out that it’s a puzzle piece and quickly puts it into its spot. It reveals the path to the Blue Monkey as well as the gem itself. D.J. accidentally turns himself into a Capuchin monkey and Daffy tries to make off with the gem, but Bugs convinces him to change D.J. back. Then Granny and Co. show up and demand the diamond. Oh No! They were evil! Except not really. These were disguises! Granny and Sylvester reveal themselves to be Mr. Chairman and Bob. Tweety is Taz and he farts. (*sigh* I hate this part. Warner Bros. never had to reduce themselves to such immature humor in their heyday. If not for this blemish, the film would have been perfect.)

Mr. Chairman also reveals that he is really Damien! No wait, he’s Michael Jordan! No wait, he’s really MR. CHAIRMAN! (Funny.) Bob takes out a device that transports them all to Acme. Bob then reveals to Taz that he is really the Tasmanian She Devil. (Yeah, Taz was kind of wasted in this movie. Shame) At Acme, the transporting caused everyone to get spliced with one another. While we laugh, Mr. Chairman fixes everything, and finally gets the TV to work right. He shows that if D.J. does not give up the diamond, Damien will die by a train, exploding dynamite and an anvil. (But not the pendulum of doom. That’s overkill.) Wile E. overseeing all of this.

D.J. stupidly relents and Mr. Chairman does not release Damian. (Did you really expect him to?) He calls Marvin and tells him to go into space with the diamond. Marvin takes off and Daffy runs after him taking another ship that was being worked on by an Instant Martian. (I didn’t know they could talk.) To his dismay, Bugs is along for the ride. Back on the Earth, Mr. Chairman tells his prisoners that the gem will loaded onto a satellite that will turn everyone on earth into monkeys. (You gotta have really dedicated henchmen to go along with this.) Well not everyone. Mr. Chairman is going to be in a safe room with Mary as company. Told you she’d come back. (She doesn’t look too thrilled with her fate.)

Bugs and Daffy try get rid of Marvin by tricking him into rolling down his window so they can ask for directions. He is sucked out into space. (Daffy: “Well whatya know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you 5 bucks.”) But Marvin is not gone yet, he’s clinging to the underside of their ship. They arrive at the satellite and Daffy volunteers Bugs to go get the diamond out of the other ship. Meanwhile, D.J. and Kate have been tied up and left hanging by a rope near Damian. D.J. easily breaks free before realizing that there was a reason it was so easy to escape. Releasing themselves also releases an Acme robo-dog. (He kinda looks like Chester.)

Bugs runs into Marvin again, and takes on his bubble gun with his carrot light saber. Daffy is cowering and wondering what to do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Realizing he IS Duck Dodgers, Daffy grabs a jetpack that blows up before he can say his name. (It happens four more times.) D.J. and Kate are barely able to escape the dog by hooking his collar onto a hook. D.J. just barely rescues his dad, and Wile (who was piloting the train) blows up with the dynamite. In space again, Marvin traps Bugs in one of the bubbles, and the satellite is about ready to fire!

Daffy gets caught between two of the pylons and his beak detaches again. Using his skills he has learned from this happening all the time over his career, he throws his bill, (ignoring the fact there’s no gravity,) and it lands on the laser, blocking it. The laser begins to backfire. Bugs escapes and dispatches Marvin with his own gun and the satellite begins to explode. Only two shots of the laser escape Daffy’s bill. One flies off into space never to be seen again. The other flies down to Earth and hits Mr. Chairman who was checking to see if everyone was monkeys yet. (Yeah, how was he supposed to know? Were the simians going to tell him?)

Daffy saves Bugs from floating away and they return to the ship. The others find a sobbing Mary with the monkey Chairman. (I guess she really did love him.) He is arrested and Damian and D.J. hug. They quickly leave when they see the rocket coming towards them, and in the chaos, Mr. Chairmonkey runs away. (Perfect for a sequel methinks!) Daffy and D.J. congratulate each other on each proving how awesome they are. Kate admits that she likes D.J. and Bugs congratulates Daffy on finally getting to be the hero. Daffy gloats that Bugs never got him into is movie when the entire building gets taken away.

Yes, this whole story WAS the movie and Daffy was not aware of it. (Ma bear  returns to bring Bugs a towel. Cute that she still has feeling for him.) D.J. punches out Brenden Fraser, (Laugh) and Bugs admits that Daffy and him should be equal from now on. (While he is being given a cavalcade of carrots by cameo characters including: Charlie Dog, Heathcliff the cat from “Dough Ray Me-ow”, the squirrel from “Much Ado about Nutting”, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Egghead, Mr. Gruesome Gorilla, and Hippety Hopper.) Daffy barely avoids a falling stage light, and comments that his luck is already improving. He is then crushed by the Looney Tunes rings. My man Porky comes out to say his famous closing line but his stutter is worse than usual, and everyone in the cast leaves. Porky: “Go home, folks.” Not until I’ve seen the credits!

We get a rockin’ song matched with some animation. (Some of which I’m guessing is from deleted scenes.) At the end of all this, we get a post-credits joke. Daffy is running form Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith in the casino and pulls a slot machine. It stops on three cherries. The thugs happily hold out their hats, but the cherries are really bombs and they blow up!

What a great movie! My favorite film of all time.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 1)

“It’s a little adventure I call: “Daffy Duck’s quest for the Blue Monkey!””

Great to be back. I’ve been waiting forever to blog about this. So let’s begin.

First: the plot. (I’m going to go into a lot of detail here.) Our film starts with magic: Elmer hunting for “wabbits.” Daffy, is of course changing the duck season signs to rabbit season. When Elmer shows up, Bugs does the classic switch line, and a quick montage of Daffy’s beak being blow off ensues. Daffy suddenly interrupts the cartoon. (But it was just getting to the good part!) He is reading a script, the script for this movie. He tells the Warner Brothers that this is a terrible idea for a film.

Bugs appears; he drops a few names. (I’m pretty sure it’s a tribute to Bob Clampett, Chuck Jones, and Mel Blanc.) He agrees to stay out of the movie, per Daffy’s request, but the vice president of comdey, Kate Hottan, (Jenna Elfman) says it can’t work without him. Daffy tells the studio heads to choose between the two of them, and he is promptly fired. (Look in the background. Poster’s for “Rabbit of Seville“, “Hair Raising Hare“, and “Baseball Bugs“.)

Elsewhere at the studio, (see this is already an improvement of “Space Jam“. It goes the “Roger Rabbit” route and makes toons real citizens. I love “Space Jam“, but even I can tell it’s not perfect. Confusing setting for starters.) A man named D.J. (Brendan Fraser) is auditioning for the role of a stuntman. (The Crusher is one of two people judging his performance.) He doesn’t get the job. We learn that his father, Damien, is the most popular star at the studio. D.J.’s main job is a security guard, but mainly because he doesn’t want to get any roles based on nepotism.

While washing a car, he sees Kate, escorting Daffy out. Bugs is following close behind. She tells D.J. to get rid of Daffy. While they chat Bugs switches places with Daffy because it’s funny, and Daffy escapes. D.J. goes after him in an amusing chase sequence. Daffy runs onto the set of a Batman movie and tries to steal the Batmobile. D.J. gets him but Daffy already turned the car on and it crashes into the water tower and floods the studio. (Hope the Warner siblings weren’t home.) D.J. is fired. (Sure it wasn’t his fault, but Daffy certainly isn’t going to vouch for him.) Kate and Bugs meanwhile, are at lunch.

Interesting cameos here. Porky and Speedy are currently out of work due to political correctness. Speedy I can begrudgingly understand. Not Porky. And unfunny? HOW DARE YOU! Heads will roll. Shaggy and Scooby are also there, telling Matthew Lillard they weren’t impressed with his live action role. One of my few problems with the movie. It’s an awesome joke that can only be pulled off in a movie like this, but why are they here at all? It’s called “Looney Tunes Back in Action”. I know that WB owns them, but they are not part of the title group! If you have to do this, go all out. Put in other Warner owned characters. Animaniacs. Teen Titans. The possibilities aren’t endless, but they’re tons of fun!

Bugs and Kate are discussing the movie. Behind them, Ralph and Sam are eating lunch together. Sam beats Ralph up for attempting to eat a sheep. Kate tells Bugs that he needs a female co-star. (Background images: pictures of Hugo the abominable snowman (“The Abominable Snow Rabbit”) Buddy, the Gremlin, (“Falling Hare“) and I think Chuck Jones. There’s also a poster for “Singing in the Rain” starring Bugs, Daffy, and Lola. Her only appearance in the film. And a missed opportunity for a special feature!) Bugs tells her that he plays females, as he demonstrates. This causes Michigan J. Frog behind him to start singing. Kate says that nowadays it’s creepy, and no longer funny. Wrong, woman. Bugs is one of the few guys who can do that and never look gay. (The demolition worker takes Michigan again. Probably going to try and sell yet another froggy evening.)

D.J. gets home and it turns out he lives next door to Granny, Tweety, and Sylvester. (Yes, she’s still played by June Foray.) Going inside, D.J. finds that Daffy followed him home. Daffy briefly bemoans the fact he was fired, but instantly perks up when he learns who D.J.’s father is. Even believing he’s a real spy. D.J. hears a ringing from his remote and turns on a recording of his father telling him to go looking for a diamond called the Blue Monkey, because Daffy was spot on: the acting was an act! He IS spy!. He also tells his son to locate someone named Dusty Tails in Las Vegas. Naturally, a promise of a diamond has Daffy volunteering to come along. They take a gremlin car that Daffy is convinced is a spy car. (The “Gremlins” theme plays. Brilliant easter egg.) They drive off, and with the space claer, the real spy car reveals itself.

At the studio, it’s pretty clear that the movie needs Daffy to work. Elmer actually ends up shooting Bugs! (And the rabbit is milking it for he’s worth.) Despite the fact that the heads were the ones who fired Daffy, they blame Kate. If she wants to keep her job, she needs to get him back by Monday. But that might be a mite difficult… After D.J. finally gets sick of throwing him out of the gremlin, Daffy mocks D.J. for being a security guard and D.J. tells him he’s really a stunt man, and did most of Brendan Fraser’s stunts. (Laugh, d*mn it!)

Bugs calls Daffy, saying that he can get his job back, but Daffy is not interested, telling of his plans to go to Vegas. Their conversation is being eavesdropped on by a company known Acme Corp. A man named Bob Smith tells the chairman of this news. The chairman (that’s his name, BTW,) has many Vice Presidents. Including ones for Rhetorical question, Child Labor, and Bad Ideas. (Steve Martin is hysterical here. You won’t convince me otherwise.) It’s revealed that he is the one who captured Damian and shows his people proof via camera. (After accidentally getting “I Love to Singa“.) He explains that soon he will be in total control of the world. (He also hits on one of his employees, Mary. Yes this is important.) He also tells his men to kill anyone who dares get in the way.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Cliffhanger! If you don’t know the plot, please don’t go look it up elsewhere. I plan to continue tomorrow, I promise! (If you are reading this at a later time, then just read the next post. It’s finished, I promise!)

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Rocket Squad

“A cop’s life isn’t all b-beer and skittles, you know.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

Our hero’s of this picture are two cops. Joe Monday (Daffy) and Schmoe Tuesday (Porky). Yes, they are smoking cigarettes. It’s stupid how everyone is so scared that they can’t ever show a cigarette in a cartoon. I think non-smokers will know better than to take it up, and kids are smarter than we give them credit for. (Knowledge wise, when it comes to entertainment kids are morons.)

Back on topic. The two are called by their chief to solve a case. They arrive at a building (heavily influenced by “Duck Dodgers in the Twenty fourth and a half Century“) and learn that the Flying Saucer Bandit is on the loose. They take a convenient evaporator that takes them directly to the scene of the crime. The acme clue collector is there, and gives them all the clues it’s gathered. They feed it to a machine which gives them some sheet music. They play it and this leads them to figure out it was George Machree. (the song playing was “Mother Machree”)

They go to the file of known criminals, (among which is Tedd Pierce, Chuck Jones, Eddie Selzer, and my idol: Mel Blanc) This tells them that their suspect is ordering from a sandwich machine. (I want one) You choose a filling, bread, and condiment. (Why is butter an option? Does it go with any of those fillings?) They arrive one minute too late and begin chasing. They find him using some smog as camouflage, and arrest him. Despite the fact he says he’s innocent. They take him to court and wouldn’t you know it? He WAS innocent. Because of the false arrest, the pair are sentenced to 30 years in prison.

Personal Rating: 3