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Hurdy-Gurdy Hare

“Ain’t I a devil?”

Directed by Robert McKimson

One day in the park, Bugs is reading the newspaper looking for job opportunities. He settles on buying a hurdy-gurdy and a monkey to earn money with. With his new purchase, Bugs happily plays music while the monkey collects coins from apartment dwellers. Coming back to Bugs, it’s shown that the tenets stiffed him. Or did they? Turns out the monkey, (who I will call Chim-chim) pocketed it all for himself. Bugs fires him on the spot and decides to play monkey himself. Using a ladder, he pounds on windows for cash, but only winds up with a bucket of water emptied on him.

Meanwhile, Chim-chim is at the zoo. Would you look at that! It’s Gruesome! Haven’t seen him since “Gorilla my Dreams” (Their eyes may be different, but I never forget a face.) He is apparently buddies with Chimmy, and is angered to hear of how Bugs treated him. He easily breaks out of his cage, and heads off to serve revenge. Bugs meanwhile accidentally sees a woman doing… something. (Personal, no doubt. She screams.) Gruesome appears and shows off his strength. Bugs shows he can stick his finger in his mouth, blow, and levitate for a brief second. Gruesome tries, and floats off the building. Taking his finger out at Bug’s suggestion, he plummets.

He comes back, and Bugs asks if he can jump off the building, bounce off the awning and land back where he started. Gruesome tries it, and crashes through the pavement to the underground. Dazed, he exits via an elevator and Bugs (disguised as a subway conductor) leads him back into the hole. Coming back, he gives chase once more. Bugs runs, but not before taking one more peek at that lady. (Naughty, naughty!) He climbs down his ladder, but Gruesome hoists it up, and Bugs climbs back into his clutches. So Bugs climbs it, and Gruesome lowers it, and Bugs climbs back into his clutches. This goes on for awhile until Bugs climbs to the next floor without the ladder.

He starts laying bricks in a window when Gruesome sticks his head in. Bugs finishes his wall anyway, and gives the ape an exploding cigar. He then tricks the gorilla into running out a door back to the ground. Gruesome returns (He has lots of stamina.) and Bugs seems to have run out of tricks. Spying a violin, he aims to see if music truly soothes the savage beast. It works, and Gruesome dances. Getting an idea, Bugs uses the dancing gorilla to rob the terrified populace of their money, while Chim-chim, (who I guess Bugs forgave) plays the hurdy-gurdy.

Personal Rating: 3

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Mississippi Hare

♪Camptown races sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah…♪

Directed by Charles M. Jones

This short gets censored a lot because of scenes that apparently scream racism. It starts in a cotton field where Bugs is napping. Apparently this is bad, because those are African Americans harvesting it. Well, we don’t see any definitive proof that they aren’t being paid, so it might be relatively harmless, but I digress. He gets packed with the cotton on a riverboat and he climbs out of the hold to see where he is.

He notices that this boat throws off stowaways. Dashing into a cabin, Bugs dresses as a gentleman and shows off the ticket, that I guess was in the room. Secure, he takes a look around. He comes across a gentleman named Colonel Shuffle. (Jone’s take at directing a Yosemite Sam character.) He is voiced by Billy Bletcher and demands for someone to try and beat him in poker. Bugs takes the challenge and bets $100.00 in chips. (Which is half a chip. Ha) Fade out.

Fade in, and see that Bugs has all the chips, and Shuffle has the half chip. With A’s in his eyes, he shows his hand, but Bugs’s is better and he wins it all. He flat out calls Shuffle a jack@$$, (Well, Shuffle did ask for it) and the colonel declares a duel. Bugs walks with him and misses the shots. He shoves an exploding cigar in his mouth, and gives him a banjo to play. (“Racist” part 2. That is apparently blackface on Shuffle. Or you know, ASHface.) Bugs has him dance off the boat and he comes back up with the wheel.

He tries to fire his gun but liquid comes out. It must be a *dons shades* water pistol. Anyways, Bugs disguises as a barker and gets him to enter a show, which is really just a one way trip back into the drink. When he aims again Bugs tells him it’s still full of water and Shuffle checks by shooting himself. Bugs tricks him into the boiler and Shuffle desperately tries to buy a cup of water to put out the fire. He asks Bugs for change and Bugs takes his sweet time. Finally giving it, Shuffle gets the water, and begins firing again immdiately. (Smart. Elmer would’ve walked off before remembering his task at hand.)

Bugs relies on his drag routine and beats Shuffle with a parasol. His wig briefly comes off and Shuffle chases again. Bugs pleads with a much taller man to help him, and Shuffle is tossed off the boat for good. The man comes back to flirt with Bugs and sees his tail. He throws himself off too.

Personal Rating: 3

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Southern Fried Rabbit

“Gotta burn my boots. They tetched yankee soil.”

Directed by I. Freleng

The northern half of the country appears to be in some dry times as the whole area is desert. Since there is such little water, the carrots are thin and withered. Lucky for Bugs, he finds a paper that announces of a record crop in Alabama. He happily sets off. After his journey, he finds the border. (What contrast! Even the sky is different colors!) However, as soon he dares take one step across, he is chased off by general (Yosemite) Sam. Apparently, General Lee told him to guard the line and not allow any Yanks to cross. (He must be really old.)

Bug’s fact about the war being over for nearly 100 years does nothing to change Sam’smind, and Bugs runs off. Later Sam sees “one of his boys”: Bugs in a disgusting blackface disguise. (C’mon Bugs, you’re better than that!) When Sam asks him to play a catchy tune on his banjo, Bugs reveals himself by playing “Yankee Doodle.” Sam is angered and Bugs begins to plead not to be whipped. Now, it’s funny. (Because of Sam’s face, thank you. Bugs should really take the disguise off. I’m losing respect for him) He then appears as Lincoln and demands Sam put the whip away. (I’m no history buff, but wouldn’t a southern general just shoot Abe?)

Seeing Bugs’s tail, Sam chases again. (Also Sam is balding in this short.) Bugs hides in a tree and Sam tries to light a bomb to throw in. Bugs blows it out when he is near and when he is far. (Thanks to a straw.) When Sam gets far enough away, it blows before he can reach the tree. Bug’s somehow warps to a tent and exits as “Brickwall Jackson.” He has Sam march to the edge of a well. Then he says “fall in.” SPLASH! The chase leads to a mansion where Sam finds Bugs in drag. (I give him credit for not being seduced, but instead focusing on his mission.)

Looking behind the door that the dame says hides no Yankee, Sam is blasted by a cannon. Then Bugs rides up on a horse. (He is getting really good at this teleporting.) He tells Sam, that the Yankees are in Chattanooga. Sam leaves. We close on him holding the New York Yankees at gunpoint in the dugout.

Personal Rating: 3

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Knight-Mare Hare

“Surrender varlet! Thou art the prisoner of m’lance!”

Directed by Chuck Jones

While drying his ears, Bugs is reading a book about Knights and Gallantry. All of a sudden, an apple falls on his head. The scenery changes and suddenly Bugs is in the middle ages. He immediately runs into a knight. (Look at his horse, it’s like DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH!) Said knight, has never heard of Bug’s friends. (Including Cab of Calloway and Satchmo of Armstrong) Angered, Bugs is willing to challenge him to a duel. The sword he is given is too heavy and the knight is getting closer. Bug’s blindfolds himself and wins by tripping the horse, sending the knight into a tower.

Next, a huge dragon appears. It seems really happy to breathe fire and tries to make roast rabbit. Bugs subdues him with a seltzer bottle and the dragon scampers off. Looking around, Bugs enters a wizard’s lair. His name is Merlin of Monroe. (That’s a great joke.) He demonstrates his magic prowess by turning Bugs into a pig. (I love pigs!) Bugs simply unzips the skin and challenges Merlin (who looks like a cross between Witch Hazel and Mugsy,) to click his thumb like a lighter. Angered at Bugs making a mockery of his spells, he tries but can’t seem to do it. This gives Bugs a chance to use magic powder to turn Merlin into an equine. (I can’t pinpoint what type.)

Seeing an apple, Bugs throws it on his head and wouldn’t you know it? It works and he goes back home. Relived to be back he spies an equine (Horse? Donkey? Mule? Hinny? I have no idea!) with Merlin’s hat. He shakes it off as a coincidence. Until he hears it’s name IS Merlin! What a twist! (Now that I’ve said that, I’m prominent online.)

Personal Rating:3

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Operation: Rabbit

“Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Wile E. Coyote. Genius.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

I’m always amazed about how few people know that Wile E. appeared with Bugs and that he spoke. This is actually one of the first Looney Tune shorts I recall watching. Heck, this was Wile E’s second appearance, so he had no real standard yet. But his other role would catch on far more so, leaving the other in obscurity. (This is a phenomenon that I call “Zelda 2 syndrome”.) Wile E. starts the short by flat out telling Bugs he is going to eat him, and that since he is a genius, Bugs might as well give up. Bugs is not fazed and just leaves. Wile E. begins his plans. (It’s hard for us geniuses. No one wants to appreciate us while we’re alive.)

Plan 1 is a pressure cooker he puts over Bug’s hole. When Bugs tells him that there is no rabbit in there, Wile E. checks and Bugs traps him under it. Then he clubs him. Plan 2. Wile E. has a cannon with al ot of pipes to launch a cannonball right into Bug’s home. Bugs has more pipe and sends it right back. While working on plan 3, Wile E. finds Bugs at his door announcing his decision to give up. He just needs a witness to sign his will, and offers his predator a pen. (TNT) Wile E. is happy to oblige and just puts out the fuse. That proves he is a genius. Elmer and Sam would have fallen for that. And no one, not the first time anyway, sees the second fuse on the other end. BOOM!

Plan 3 involves an explosive rabbit decoy. Wile E. turns it on  in his house (for some reason) when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a female coyote. She’s a decoy, but Wile E. is too smitten to notice. (Tells her how lucky she is marrying a genius. Love his ego.) Bugs detonates her and before Wile E. can get rid of it, the bunny blows up too. Plan 4 has a UFO that homes in on targets and explodes. He sets it to rabbit, but Bugs wears a chicken mask to confuse it. He writes coyote on the side and sends it back. Now without his cave, Wile E. plans in an explosives shed. He fills carrots with nitroglycerin not realizing Bugs is towing him onto train tracks. Boom again! Giving up, he introduces himself to Bugs as mud. “And remember.” says Bugs. “Mud spelled backwards is dum.” (Well what do you know? It is!)

Personal Rating: 4

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Rabbit Hood

“Give my regards to da king, and da queen, and da jack, and da ten o diamonds.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

In Sherwood forest, (which is apparently enclosed in a wall?) Bugs is attempting to take a carrot. Wouldn’t you know it, he had to choose the only carrot patch that has alarms. The sheriff arrives and points out that they are the king’s carrots. There’s even a little stamp to prove it. Bugs tries to run, but Little John appears and tells of Robin Hood’s coming. This doesn’t happen and the sheriff is ready to have Bugs murdered. Bug says he sees the king coming and clubs the sheriff when he bows.

Later, Bugs runs into the king’s royal rose garden. When the sheriff points out that it is royal ground, Bugs agrees and talks the plot up to local lawman, tricking him into buying the land. The sheriff doesn’t realize he’s been had until he’s about halfway done with his new house. (That must have taken him 6 months as least.) Bugs is still yet to escape and the sheriff catches him again. Little John is back, and Bugs constantly introduces each of them to each other, giving him another chance to bolt. When the sheriff finally gets away, Bugs says the king is coming, again.

The sheriff initially doesn’t believe him, but Bugs sounds so earnest, that he eventually gives in and looks. It is indeed the king. (Bugs in disguise.) We never see the real king in this picture, but something tells me he’d find all this hilarious. The “king” decides to knight the sheriff and repeatedly clubs him with his scepter. The sheriff takes so long to fall, that Bugs has time to bake a cake for him to land in. (The sweetest way to be unconscious.) Little John appears again, but Bugs has had enough and demands that if Robin Hood is here, then he should show himself. A live action Errol Flynn arrives but Bugs just can’t believe his eyes. (“It couldn’t be him.”)

Personal Rating: 4

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The Grey Hounded Hare

“What? Dogs chasing that cute little bunny?”

Directed by Robert McKimson.

Bug’s comes out from under a greyhound race track and decides to check it out. He takes a peak over the dogs. (They all look dead to me. They’re not moving) He likes the look of number 7. (Named Gnawbone) He doesn’t bet however, and just goes straight to the track. (The dog named “Granpas Folly” has scratched odds. Literally) They release the mechanical rabbit the dogs chase, and Bugs falls for “her”. He decides to save her, and starts to remove the dogs.

He gets a large amount of them to follow him to a cab, and has it take them to the pound. (That’s gonna be a lot of money.) Turns out, number 7 stuck around. Bugs tries to get the “lady” to talk to him, but she zooms off. (Just like a woman.) Gnawbone is more interested in chasing her than Bugs, so bugs has to distract him with a rabbit balloon. Then he throws a dynamite stick for him to fetch. Angry, Gnawbone charges like a bull. Bugs gets him to hit a hydrant and the dog surrenders.

Bugs finally get to his goil and gives her a kiss. He is electrified. (Would it really do that?) Believing this to be the start of something grand, Bugs gives her another. Shocking, isn’t it?

Personal Rating: 3

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Roman Legion-Hare

“I gotta find a victim to feed to the lions.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

In ancient Rome, (54 A.D. to be exact,) everyone is eagerly headed to the coliseum to watch people be devoured by lions. (Aren’t humans just wonderful?) Emperor Nero is angry to discover there are no more victims. He tells his captain of the guard (Sam) to get one or be one. Same calls his troops and they go hunting. Enter Bugs, who thinks their march is a parade. When he tells Sam that he’s the only one around, Sam orders his men to catch him.

Bugs easily trips the troops and they are never seen again. Sam chases Bugs in a chariot and passes him. (And flies out when the horse stops.) Grabbing a club, he chases Bugs into the lion holding area, luckily on the opposite of the bars. Sam is annoyed by a roaring lion, and clubs him to shut up. Bugs opens the gate between the two and Sam is pummeled. Chasing Bugs into another room, they find it’s the lions den. (So, why was that other one all alone?) They tiptoe through, but Bugs lowers an alarm clock while Sam is still down there. He’s mauled.

Sam finds Bugs on the other side of a lion pit and goes after him with stilts to be safe. Bugs hands the lions tools to dismantle the stilts. Sam is beaten and we actually see him lose his mask. Bugs tries to escape, but leaves through the door to the arena. Sam gleefully shows the victim and the lions are released. Bugs is terrified, but he shouldn’t be. The lions go straight for the people who forced them to live in tiny, unsanitary, cages. Sam and Nero climb atop a pillar, but the lions chop it down piece by piece. As they lower towards their doom, Nero plays taps on a violin. Desperately hoping that music can soothe several savage beasts.

Personal Rating: 3

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Whizzard of Ow

“Acme Book of Magic”

With what a hit “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” was sure to be, the studio decided to start making some new shorts they could attach to their feature films. The film failed to meet expectations, this was the only short completed, and it never even made it to theaters, instead being a special feature on “Back in Action’s” DVD.

The first Coyote/Roadrunner short made since Jones death. (Rest his soul.) Also notable for actually using their real world scientific names this time. (Geococcyx californianus and Canis latrans.)

It starts off with two wizards in a duel. (Gargamel-Jafar and Dr. Light-Dumbledore.) They are of equal strength and end up killing each other. Their Magic book and black cat fall to earth, just as Wile is chasing his usual prey. Both hit him, and he decides to use the magic to help achieve his prize. He turns the cat into a “panther” (which is not a real animal, I think he wanted a leopard.) It slices him. He orders a magic broom and follows the Roadrunner who runs into a tunnel. Hearing a truck, Wile swerves wildly out of the way. (Turns out it was the Roadrunner clearing his throat.) Now in space, Wile is hit by a comet and plummets back down. He manages to survive, but one “Beep-Beep” sends him off a cliff.

A spell to make himself larger only makes his head grow and crushes his rest of him under it’s weight. Painting a bomb clear, he advertises a free trial to see the future. The Roadrunner peers in and sees the Coyote in an explosion. The bomb rolls over to him and detonates. He levitates a boulder over some free bird seed, but of course it doesn’t fall, until he stands under it himself. Finally, he turns the cat into a winged horse. Which may be a clunky term, but makes a heck of a lot more sense than naming a species after one specific specimen of its kind. (Seriously, call it a “Pegasus” and I will kill you.)

The chase leads to a train, and they crash into a car holding many snakes. The horse uses the Coyote to bat them away. Then he turns into a magic carpet. Then they fly into a bunch of scorpions. And cacti. And cliff walls. Then the rug becomes a Komodo Dragon and bites Wile’s snout off. Then it becomes a lawnmower. THEN it becomes a shark and chases him into a lake. Why all the sudden changing? The Roadrunner got a hold of the book and was testing its powers. As the shark eats Wile, the Roadrunner turns a mailbox (where’d that come from?) into a female Roadrunner and they walk off together.

Personal Rating: 3. It’s actually pretty dang good. Makes we wish we could’ve seen what other shorts could’ve gotten made.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Deleted Scenes and Final Thoughts)

At least, these are the deleted scenes on my DVD copy of the movie.

Scene #1: An alternate opening. A Batman parody with Daffy as Batman and Elmer as some evil music composer type character. He plays a pipe-organ robot that destroys the city. The citizens running include: Ralph Phillips, Hercules, and Giovanni Jones. Porky and Speedy play the cops. Daffy easily stops Elmer, but the Warner Bros. stop this script reading there, stating that Daffy can’t kill Elmer. Daffy mentions that he comes back from the dead, and Elmer runs off crying in fear.

Scene #2: A bunch of romance scenes involving Kate and D.J., the funniest being Bugs and Daffy pointing out their obvious attractions. (Daffy: “He likes long walks on the beach…” D.J.: “You just made that up.” Bugs: “And she has a weakness for unemployed guys.” Daffy: “And he has a weakness for being unemployed.”)

Scene #3: A bunch of gags at Area 52. Including: Bug’s dressing up as a boxing referee, and getting two Daleks to fight each other, and D.J. feeding one of the fiends without a face to a triffid.

Scene #4: When Bob is holding Kate hostage on the Eiffel Tower, D.J. is constantly buying paperweights from a gift shop and throwing them at Bob’s head

Scene # 5: Kate having more of a sense of humor. Telling the “impatient cow knock-knock joke” and playing hairdresser with Gossamer. (Wait why wasn’t he in this movie?)

Scene # 6: A scene showing what happens at ACME when you don’t push your buzzer. Mr. Chairman has you wrapped up in plastic wrap.

Scene #7: Final scene. In this draft, the Blue Monkey apparently reverts something to an earlier state. At the temple, D.J. has turned his dad into a monkey so he can get away. Mr. Chairman rants about wanting to throw people into the lava, and Bugs getting zapped and turns into Proto-Bugs. (Great gag.) Daffy gets a hold of the diamond and accidentally turns Bugs and Kate into neanderthals. (Bug’s from “Mad as a Mars Hare”) Daffy accidentally aims at himself and becomes an egg. A whistle blows, and Bob leaves his shift and actually talks. Mr. Chairman pulls Taz out of a bag to frighten our heroes. D.J. aims at Mr. Chairman who claims it will only make him smarter, because of him being descended from geniuses. D.J. instead shoots Tweety who has been around this whole time. Mr. Chairman gets the diamond before realizing birds are descended from dinosaurs. The Tweetysaurus flies up and eats him, and Taz crumbles to bits.

Scene #8: Various Daffy gags. Naming restaurants he’s banned at, saying he has special needs, becoming part fly at Area 52, (thanks to Bugs) and various bits of him getting hurt at the temple.

These deleted scenes are very fun to watch as Bugs and Daffy provide the commentary.

Final thoughts: I love this movie! It has action, heart, comedy, cartoons, an entertaining villain, and I can watch it time and time again and not get bored. To me it is the best movie I ever saw.  Are there any problems I have? Well, yes. I still question Shaggy and Scooby being there, and I still hate the part where Taz farts. And I have a very personal problem of there not being enough Porky. But those are small complaints.

It’s a shame that this movie was a flop. But it might have been avoided if the W.B. had advertised it better.  If you’ve never seen this movie, then I think you really ought to. I don’t care who you are or what your preferences are, watch this film!

A fun little side note, you may or may not know this, but on the special features menu, you can highlight the water tower and find a scene of Sam blowing up. Eater egg!

Personal rating: Well, I hate to do this, but I’d probably have to give this film a 3 for the majority of people. It’s good, but I can’ see it converting anyone. Then again, if you are already a full-fledged Looney-tic, then all the cameos, in-jokes, and beautiful blending of live action and animation, earns this a 4. (If you’re me or my clone, then it’s a 5. And well deserved of that number.)