Category: Bob Clampett

Without this man, who knows WHAT this website would have been called. These posts were directed by him.

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A Gruesome Twosome

“Have you two putty-tats met?”

Directed by Bob Clampett

From the title alone, you’d probably never guess this is a Tweety short.

This is the last short with Tweety Clampett directed, and the last one where Tweety is naked. (He may be yellow, but he’s still got no feathers.) Apparently, it’s mating season for cat statues. (Yes, I know that the shadows don’t have to be animated) One female, who actually is pretty hot (and from an avid cat hater, that’s some compliment) has two suitors: A pot-bellied dolt nicknamed Snooks, and a horny Jimmy Durante cat. (None seem like ideal mates to me, but hey, she’s pretty nice to give them a chance.)

While they fight over her, a random dog pops up informing us that he does not belong in the short, but he’s not missing a chance to steal her kiss. My favorite part. Not wanting the titular twosome to fight over her, she tells them that the first one to bring her a bird will win her. (No specific bird? Would a plastic flamingo count?) The two both climb the same telephone pole (oblivious to each other) and find the same bird, Tweety. Upon noticing each other, they fight and Tweety causes them to fall and explode. (Cats do that, right?)

Jimmy decides they’ll have to work together if they want the naked genius. (I’m sure they are both planning a double cross) Their plan? Dress up as the most ridiculous horse in all history. (AKA the phony pony) Tweety isn’t fooled. In fact, he takes a bee out of his… pocket?, (So Tweety’s a marsupial?) slaps it around and shoves it in the costume. Making like the Lone Ranger he has a fun ride, until the cats crash into a tree.

While discussing another plan, Tweety takes a bone belonging to a bulldog, smashes him over the head, and tossing the bone into the costume. The dog runs into it and I’m pretty sure he ends up killing those two gruesomes. Tweety ends the film with his own Durante impression.

Personal Rating: 4

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Porky in Egypt

“THE CAMELS ARE COMING! THE CAMELS ARE COMING!”

Lets start off this year with another porky short! Particularly one that will keep us warm during the long cold winter.

Our story takes place in Egypt. After a few gags we get to the main story. A camel caravan is about to make its way to view the pyramids. (and by caravan, I mean one freakishly huge camel) Porky wants to go to, but misses the departure. He sets out on his own on a camel named Humpty-Bumpty. (Stolen? Rented? Actually belongs to Porky? Never answered.)

They begin their journey. Unfortunately, the angry sun from “Super Mario Bros. 3” is here, and demonstrates its power by annihilating an oasis. The heat soon gets to poor Humpty, and he gets the horrible, dreaded “Desert Madness!” He hears disturbing, disembodied voices calling his name, he sees herds of imaginary camels, and he soon runs off leaving Porky behind to die.

Porky finds him in a pool of water in Palm Springs, (Stop sweating Porky, Pigs are incapable of doing that!) only to find the hard way that it’s a mirage. Humpty finally gets some sense knocked into him and apologizes to Porky saying he’s fine now. He begins to hear the voices again and speeds back to the town, with Porky in tow. Now back in there (House? Inn? Random building? Never answered.) Humpty is glad to be both safe and sane. Then to his horror we see Porky now has the madness.

Great way to start a year huh?

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky’s Party

“M-Mad dog!” “M-Mad dog!”

It’s Porky’s Birthday! (He’s 5 years old?) And it just so happens that his uncle has sent him a silkworm as a present. (Porky’s address states residency in Hollywood.) To get the silkworm to work, one must say “sew”. At first it works great, making a nice sock. Then we see how naughty the insect really is, as he knits a bra next.

Porky puts it away, as it is time to prepare for his guests. His dog, Black Fury, follows and watches Porky pour on some hair growth formula. The dog follows suit, and discovers it’s 99% alcohol. He starts chugging it. At the door Porky greets his first guest. Random Penguin who seems to have only come for the food. (At least he gave Porky a present. I wonder what’s in it.) His other guest is Goosey. Some moronic goose, who only gives Porky a gag handshake. Porky comments on the fact that he is “so silly.” SO silly?

The silkworm starts his stuff and various pieces of womens underwear comes out of Porky’s clothes. In panic he throws it away and it lands in the penguin’s ice cream. (He is really going to twon, ain’t he? Not even a brain-freeze.) The bird soon finds a sock and a top hat in the dessert. Worse still, he finds a hat in his head. (He ate the silkworm!) His head keeps popping up into a top hat shape, to his frustration. Goosey tries to help by hitting him with a hammer, and slamming him into a wall. (According to storyboards, these two were originally supposed to be Gabby Goat and Petunia Pig. No idea why they changed from ungulates to birds.)

Back to Black Fury. The formula seems to have worked as he is now covered in hair. Drunk, he decides to shave. He slathers on some shaving cream, and accidentally turns on the “Letrick” shaver. Scared, he runs to Porky. But because of his appearance, they all think he is rabid. All three run. (Pengy seems to not have hat problems now.) After a chase, the penguin and dog are stuck in a bed together. They fight and it is revealed who the dog is. Seeing this, the penguin rolls up his… arm? Sleeve? And says “so” ready for another fight. The silkworm who is still not digested begins making more clothes, eventually wrapping the penguin in a cocoon. Goosey then hits him on the head again.

Personal Rating: 3

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Goofy Groceries

“Gosh, ain’t I repulsive?”

It is winter. (In the short. As I type this, it’s fall.) In the grocery store, the logos of various products come to life. (What a clever idea! Someone should NEVER make a movie based on this concept.)The cow on the contented milk can sings to a case of ‘fullabull’ tobacco. A crab hates the singing, (He has a turtle shell. Why does he have a turtle shell?) and a chicken pie clucks.

A dog gets off of some ‘barker’ dog food to become a barker himself. He tells of a dance provided  by a stick of wiggly gum, and we see a pool of water from a case of ‘u know’ biscuits that some sardines do a water ballet in. (If they didn’t come out of a labeled can, I’d have no idea what they were supposed to be.) Our festivities continue with a tomato soup cancan line. Meanwhile, up on the top shelf, a gorilla breaks out of a box of animal crackers. As we all know, gorillas will attempt to nab any female that is even remotely attractive to them. There are plenty of dames to choose from and he comes down to look.

Seeing the danger, Jack Bunny rides a bottle of horse-radish to confront the ape. He is joined by navy beans, turtle soup tanks, and ginger bread men who use tissues as parachutes. The ape fights back with fireworks. He soon has Bunny cornered. Superguy (of the soap-chips) tries to stop him but is petrified with fear. Can anything stop him? His mother’s call can. Spoofing “The Aldritch Family” he runs home to her. Bunny is so relieved that the ape is gone that he doesn’t realize he still has a lit firecracker until its too late. BOOM!

Personal Rating: 3

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The Film Fan

“A L-loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and come home right away.”

It’s the grand opening of a theater! Their feature film is the broken leg. (It has a large cast. *Rimshot*) To celebrate this occasion, kids are admitted free! (To add to the greatness, the theater advertises Looney Tunes and “The Ahs of a Wizard” That’s a good contender for the best pun I’ve ever heard.)

Porky is a child in this short, and he is on an errand for his mother. He can’t control himself when he learns of the free admission, and rushes in. A newsreel tells us that short tempered doctors tend to lose patients, and we see a powerful microscope, (courtesy of Prof. Widebottom) which shows bacteria happily playing in the bloodstream. Porky, meanwhile can’t see the screen where he is and rushes up to the front, where the view is stretched out.

A feature starring the masked marvel shows the titular hero and his horse splitting up to take different paths. A duck in the audience shoots his gum at the horse, much to the equines annoyance. The theater gets a phone call, and an employee announces that a little boy who was sent on an errand run is wanted at home by his mother. Upon hearing this, the whole audience leaves.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Hep Cat

“Say, are you followin me?”

In this, the first Looney Tune in color, (the ones before were Merrie Melodies) A cat walks by a doghouse to the tune of “5 o clock whistle.” The dog (Willoughby, but he is here named Rosebud) chases after him, but fails. A bird tells him he almost got the cat, but the dog says that this happens every night. Out of danger, the cat begins to sing about how irresistible he is to females. Cue girl.

This cat is creepy! Look! Her feet have stilettos! She literally gives him the cold shoulder, but his luck seems to change when he gets a note calling him over the fence. He gleefully runs over, only to run into Rosebud and they chase again. Later, he sees a hot girl and begins to make out with her. He doesn’t realize its Rosebud with a puppet until its too late. They chase again, and the cat loses the dog on a clothesline. He goes back to his make out session. (Okay, that puppet is hot.) The bird comes back to tell him its not real. This does not bother him in the slightest.

Personal Rating: 3

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A Corny Concerto

“Gweetings, music wovers.”

Its a parody of “Fantasia” which is one of the finest films ever. So what would a Looney Tune based on it be? About 629,087,356.5 times better!  (Give or take.)

Our host is Elmer (as parody of Deems Taylor) and he lets us know the first segment will be “Tales from the Vienna woods” (All the while his dicky is giving him problems) It is a classic tale of a hunter going after Bugs. Since Elmer is on host duty, it’s none other than Porky who takes on the job. (One of the very few times Porky appeared on screen with Bugs.) Porky’s dog finds Bugs and learns that this will not be so easy.

Porky and the dog dive into a bush which Bugs is hiding in, and soon Bugs tosses their gun away. It lands in a tree infuriating a squirrel who takes aim and fires. The three hold their chests assuming the worst. Porky and the dog turn out to be fine, but when Bugs peeks at his supposed wound he passes out. Porky and the dog try to get his hands open to see the wound and instead find a BRA! Bugs screams, places the brassiere on the two’s heads, and dances into the sunset.

Elmer informs us that the next segment will be “The Blue Danube” (As his pants fall down now) It is a tale of the ugly duckling. This time however, it really is a duckling as opposed to a swan. A baby Daffy to be precise. (There you have it. Clampett also created “Baby Looney Tunes”) He wants to join a family of swans, but the mother refuses to have him around. The family is spotted by a vulture who decides to have the cygnets for brunch. (He doesn’t want Daffy either)

The mother swan passes out when she finds out, and Daffy flies to their rescue. He knocks the vulture out and hands him TNT which kills him. (I’ve seen this part on an episode of Bill Nye) Daffy is now accepted as part of the swans family and swims with them. (His reflection crashes into a tree)

Personal Rating: 5

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Book Revue

“It’s Frankie!”

Warner bros. did a lot of cartoons where books come to life and this may be their last one, but it’s probably their finest. (It was directed by Clampett after all)

It’s midnight and all things literature have sprung to life. A Cherokee strip causes the sea wolf to howl and the complete works of Shakspeare to go haywire. Henry VIII wants to join in but is called back by his mother of the Aldrich family and she spanks him, only stopping then she sees Frank Sinatra whose voice makes all the little women faint and mother goose to go crazy. This goes into a musical number.

Daffy jumps off a Looney Tunes comic book and tells them to shut up. Getting some clothes out of the Saratoga Trunk, he dresses as Danny Kaye and sings his own song. He warns Little Red Riding Hood about the wolf and only just realizes his leg being salted. (In a blink and you’ll miss it scene, Daffy becomes a giant eye. This gag would be reused in “Tiny Toons” as a disease called “Clampettitus.”)

He hides in the petrified forest while the long arm of the law throws the wolf into jail for life. (Magazine) He easily breaks free but ends up falling down skid row, almost right into Dante’s Inferno. He nearly escapes but Sinatra’s singing makes him fall back in. In celebration everyone dances and has a good time… before the wolf tells them to knock it off.

Personal Rating: 4 (Just barely misses the 5 mark. I wouldn’t fault you for thinking it ranks higher.)

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Porky In Wackyland

“Ex-tree! Ex-tree! Porky off on dodo hunt!”

This.. is my favorite cartoon ever! Heck, it’s my favorite bit of animation ever. Is it the humor? The sureality? The b/w charm? The fact that I consider it the epitome of cartoons? All that and whatever too! It’s great no matter how you slice, saute and butter it! And that’s why this site shares its name.

Like its successor this cartoon has Porky is off to find the last of the dodo birds. Its worth a lot of money. He arrives at the best place ever put to film: Wackyland! While searching, Porky sees many of the denizens that call this crazy landscape home. Or at least a condo. (Look! Bob Clampett and his animators created Catdog)

Amidst the bizarre, he finds the bird of his dreams. And the chase is on. The bird is tricky, and Porky has to disguise himself to get his hands on him. He succeeds in his capture but the dodo reveals something about himself. He may be the last of his species but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one left… (That’s a victory for Mother Earth, at least.)

Personal Rating: 5 (And I really feel that way too.)

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The Great Piggy Bank Robbery

“Fantastic! And furthermore, its unbelieva…ble!”

Daffy waits for his mail to the tune of “Powerhouse.” (and he even says “Thufferin Thuccotash” one of two times I can recall) his patience is rewarded with a new Dick Tracy comic book. He eagerly pours over each exciting panel and wishes he could be the man he admires. He accidentally knocks himself out and imagines that scenario.

Duck Twacy (Daffy) is getting numerous phone calls about missing piggy banks. He dismisses it as small stuff until he realizes his was stolen too. He immediately gets to the gangsters hideout (Porky cameo, yay!) and is met by the worst of the worst including: Mouseman, Pumpkinhead, Pussycat Puss, Batman, 88 Teeth, Neon Noodle, Double Header, and Wolfman. the chase is on! (Hey look! There’s an original Tracy villain: Flattop!)

Daffy makes pies out of Pumpkinhead and is tackled by most of the others. His body parts squirm out and he murders them with a Tommy-gun. Neon Noodle tries to get him, but hes turned into an “Eat at Joe’s sign”. Daffy finds the stolen goods and kisses the bank that’s his. He then wakes up to find himself kissing a sow.

Personal Rating: 5