Stop! Look! and Hasten!

“Coyote (Eatibus Anythingus)”

365 days of this blog! One more until the first anniversary!

Food is scarce in the desert, so the coyote has to make do with flies and old cans. Then his dream lunch runs by and new ideas swarm in his head. A boulder just falls on him and a snare trap gets him a truck. A tiger trap only catches a tiger (obviously) and when he tries a steel wall that will pop out of the ground, the stupid thing gets stuck.

The chase continues onto the railroad where he gets creamed by a train, and when he decides to use a detonator, he blows himself up. (Watch the handle, it changes color.) Getting the bird to stop for some free bird seed, he tries the classic saw around prey, and whole bridge falls gag. (Good thing roadrunners can fly.)

As a last resort, he chugs down some leg vitamins and now he can catch up to the bird, but of course just as he is about to catch it, the wall from earlier pops up. The Roadrunner spells out “That’s all Folks” in his dust.

Personal Rating: 4

Zipping Along

“Yeooooow!”

We all know the Roadrunner is fast, but did you know he can outrun a speeding train? He may just be minding his own business, but there are hungry eyes watching. This time the coyote tries to throw a grenade, but only throws the pin. He tries the old classic: mousetraps, but they just end up on him. He tries to drop a bomb from a kite, but kites were not exactly designed to carry that much weight, now were they?

Since there are no cops around he can get away with chopping a telephone pole. (It falls on him.) He learns hypnotism, but the bird has a mirror and he gets himself to walk off a cliff. He tries making a booby trapped doorway but he gets hit by a car before it can be used for its intended purpose.

Personal Rating: 3

Going! Going! Gosh!

‘Road runner (acceleratti incrediblus)’

After the Roadrunner runs by, the coyote jumps from his hiding place to pounce…and misses. Time to use the old noggin! When launching a TNT arrow, only the bow gets fired. Using a large slingshot ends up with the coyote pinned against… err… some plant, and his cement just ends up covering himself.

He tries a grenade while under a manhole but the bird takes a different route and ends up pinning a rock on the manhole cover. BOOM! He dresses up as a female hitchhiker (the bird already has a date) and paints a fake road (only to have a real truck drive out of it.) After some more gags (including a genius hot air balloon) the coyote decides to jump and harpoon the bird. However he gets hit by another truck. This one driven by the bird himself.

Personal Rating: 3

Beep Beep

“Last water for 300 miles”

After the title cards, the coyote notes that his prey is just too dang fast, and he will not be able to catch it on foot. This calls for stradegy. He rigs a boxing glove up to a boulder, but when he releases it, the boulder crashes into him. (So does the glove.) He tries dropping an anvil on the bird from a tightrope but the weight drags him down. (If you’re watching “Space Jam” this is where the short would end) He is not worried because he has a parachute…or not.

He tries a clever booby trapped glass of water, which the bird ignores and a chase through the mines ensures. (This breaks one of Chuck’s rules: “The Roadrunner must stay on the road”) The coyote later tries some rocket skates but he can’t control them. Battered and bruised he tries to get a drink, only to be blown up by his device. As a last resort he makes a fake railroad but gets clobbered by a real train. Need I say who is riding in it?

Personal Rating: 4

Hyde and Hare

“You…are a mental case.”

During a particular nice day at the park, Bugs observes old people feeding the pigeons. He realizes that he guy who feeds him carrots should be here. Sure enough, there he is. Since they go through this routine every day, Bugs suggests he just become the man’s pet. The man agrees, but as you could probably tell by the title, he’s Dr. Jekyll!

Once home, he goes to get Bugs another carrot, but as he passes by his infamous formula, he gives in to temptation and drinks it. While making himself at home, Bugs finds the monster and tries to get the doc’s attention. He never catches on, despite the doctor and the monster switching places continually. He gives the doctor weapons and drags him into hiding places only for the same result.

Vowing to throw the formula away, the doc finds it gone. Bugs is insulted about being accused of drinking it, and leaves. However, as he gets back to the park, the potion takes effect…

Personal Rating: 3

Baby Buggy Bunny

“Dada.”

A stick up at a local bank is taking place and the thief is a tall, shadowy figure. Or so it would seem. In reality, it’s a pint-sized burglar known as Ant Hill Harry, alias: Baby Faced Finster. That comes from the fact that he is able to disguise himself as a baby so he will not get noticed. (Because babies left alone in alleys are not suspicious.) After the cops go past, his buggy with the loot inside rolls away. The money lands in Bugs’ rabbit hole and he laughs at his fortune.

Thinking it over, Finster decides to play orphan so he can get in, and the guise fools the rabbit. Once inside the crook makes it clear he wants the money and holds his breath so Bugs will comply. Once he gets it though, he tries to escape. The rabbit never gets wise. Later at bedtime, every time Bugs turns out the light he gets clobbered. He pretends to turn out the light and sure enough Finster is the one responsible. He plays innocent and Bugs is still deceived… that is until he turns on the tube and sees a news report about the robbery that took place earlier. Bugs gets his revenge and Finster is sent to prison.

Personal Rating: 3

French Rarebit

“Where do ya suppose I am?”

Since I’m in such a good mood, (I actually got a real comment) I decided to begin another post.

A truck carrying carrots is driving through France, and after driving over a bumpy road one of the boxes falls off and smashes. Of course, Bugs was in there and seeing that he is in Paris decides to look around. Walking down a street he is seen by two chefs who plan to have him for their menu. They are Louie with orange hair and Francois with black hair.

After a fight (egging them on is Bugs) Francois takes the rabbit to cook. Bugs tells him of a great recipe but refuses to share it unless the chef and him trade places so he can demonstrate. The chef is desperate enough, and soon him and Louie (who also wants to know Bug’s culinary secrets) are shoved into a stove with a lit stick of dynamite. Voila! C’est magnefique!

Personal Rating: 3

Bunny Hugged

“Its a living.”

At the championships of wrestling, we have in one corner: the Crusher! An athlete who is literally one, big muscle. In the other corner Ravishing Ronald (a take on real wrestler, Gorgeous George) and his mascot Bugs Bunny. Ronald is quickly turned into a punching bag and Bugs, worrying about his job, steps in to take on the champ himself as the masked terror. (I don’t care what you say. That is a cool mask and if I had one, I would wear it everyday.)

Unfortunately, Bugs is almost as bad as Ronald was. Looks like its time to cheat. He rips his mask to make the Crusher think he ripped his shorts. Bugs disguises himself as a tailor and gives the champ a poke in the butt. After getting slammed into a safe door, Bugs is able to pin the dazed crusher to the mat.

Personal Rating: 3

Broomstick Bunny

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest one of all?”

Halloween night and our lovely Witch Hazel is preparing a brew. (I’ve always wondered why witches always do that. Is there nothing else to do on a Friday night?) One thing she prides herself on is being ugly, so it is a great stroke of luck that she has a genie’s head in a mirror who can tell who is the ugliest.

Enter Bugs who is trick or treating as a witch. When he comes to her door, she is aghast to find that “she” is uglier than her. She plans to make the witch pretty by drinking a special tea. Bugs takes off his mask and she realizes that not only is he a rabbit, but a rabbit’s clavicle is the final ingredient for her brew. The chase commences and she catches her prize.

She’s about to do him in when, Bugs gives the Bambi eyes. Reminding her of her late tarantula, she bursts into tears. Bugs gives her a cup of tea to calm down, and poof! She turns into June foray. (Or a caricature, anyhow) She runs to her mirror, with the faint hope that she might still be the ugliest. Instead of answering her however, the genie chases after the now sexy witch.

Personal Rating: 3

Devil-May Hare

“I don’t even know what a Tasmanian devil is”

While spring cleaning, Bugs finds himself in a stampede of animals. Wanting to know what is going on, he stops a turtle (with a shovel) and learns that THE Tasmanian devil is on the loose! (What exactly does that mean? Was he in a zoo?) Bugs looks it up in an encyclopedia and the creature corners him in his lair. To keep his hide alive, Bugs offers to help him find plenty of other food. Groundhogs, chicken, pigs, and deer.

While the devil is falling for Bug’s tricks, a real deer comes up. (where is his “I am not Bambi” sign?) Taz shows up and says that he is done being fooled and will not fall for another fake animal. To spare the creature, Bugs lies and says that the little deer is made of straw. Taz reasons that Bugs is not, and tries to eat him again. Bugs only choice is to call Tasmania for a Tasmanian-she devil. The two fall in love and get married. A happy ending!

Personal Rating: 3